Ethelda Alma Bertram

SCROLL DOWN FOR THELDA'S STORY !!!

And so, on June 25, in Minneapolis, passed Ethelda Alma Vera (Koch) Bertram. Child of God. Daughter of Emma and Charles. Granddaughter of Sophia and Friedrich and Louisa and Carl. Wife of Robert. Mother of Susan, Kathleen, Timothy, Sarah, John and Michael.

Elegant even in saddle shoes and a cooking apron. Left behind 15' of hanging clothes - many with sequins and bold colors - and nine drawers of costume jewelry. She of the glossy brown hair falling in soft waves around her face ... back when. Of course, her music was classical piano, especially Chopin nocturnes, and she mastered the genre herself on her Baldwin concert grand. She brought the same focus and precision to her library work and to playing bridge - or to 3-point basketball shots and ping pong. One martini a day was important and, on occasion, butter pecan ice cream. Or pistachios.

Thelda perfected The Look. Picture a Jack Benny deadpan. When she eventually became bed-bound, one of her daughters kissed her good night and whispered, "Sleep tight, Mom." Thelda, with The Look, replied, "Well, yeah."

She could teach a master class on stretching a budget. Asked why she saved three candy corns in the freezer from one Halloween to the next, she answered, "How do you think I got so rich?" (Not.)

The same parsimony led her to coin several code phrases. No point in wasting words. "This is nice" indicated the highest praise. "I wouldn't like that" meant "Forget about it." When challenged to take on a complex task, Thelda's reply was sometimes "Why not." That's "Why not," period. Not "Why not," question mark. 'Nuf said.

An intensely private feminist, she nevertheless chose as husband Robert, a gregarious and charismatic man with the nerve to call her "Theldy-bug." Together they populated Chicago, Valparaiso, Munich and St. Louis with their bunch of children, and bound to themselves countless beloved people as friends, students and colleagues.

STORY, Part 1: FORT WAYNE

Ethelda Alma Vera Koch (Thelda) was born on November 5, 1921, into the German Lutheran community that existed in Fort Wayne, Indiana. One of Thelda's four grandparents had been born in the Fort Wayne area, and her other three grandparents had arrived there as young adults in the 1880s, immigrants from northern Germany.

So naturally, Thelda's parents were both born in Fort Wayne also - Emma, the grocer's daughter, whose family worshipped at Fort Wayne's main Lutheran Church, St. Paul's - and Carl (who would later go by the less German "Charles"), the foundry carpenter's son, whose family worshipped at Fort Wayne's other main Lutheran Church, Zion. In those days, in that community, in the grocery store, in the foundry, and in church, it was just as common to hear German spoken as English. As young adults, the sociable Emma earned a little money by entertaining at parties as a vocalist (accompanied by her sister on piano), and Charles, a man of few words, but who enjoyed a good beer, playing cards, and listening to baseball games on the radio, followed in his father's footsteps and found employment at the local foundry.

Emma and Charles met at a dance, were married by St. Paul's pastor, and began raising a family. Their first child, a boy, they named Carl. Their second child, another boy, Wayne. When Thelda was born in 1921, she was born in the same house on East Creighton Avenue that her father Carl/Charles had been born in - the same house that supposedly his father, the carpenter Carl, had built. Easy walking distance down that street was Zion, where Thelda's family worshipped, and where Thelda attended elementary school, and was confirmed. Like many working class families, the Koch family struggled to get through the Depression. Thelda recalled having very few toys, no spending money, and dinner which often featured fish that brother Wayne had caught in the nearby city reservoir, or squirrel that he had trapped in the surrounding neighborhood. But somehow, despite these difficulties, Emma and Charles managed to keep a piano in their home, and to afford piano lessons for Thelda, which Thelda continued well after high school.

Thelda attended Fort Wayne's South Side (public) high school. She recalled that, in those days, she and the Koch family felt social pressure to downplay their German heritage, due to the anti-German sentiment that was prevalent in Fort Wayne following World War I.

As a teenager, Thelda enjoyed participating in the Walther League activities put on by the Lutheran churches in Fort Wayne for the congregations' youth. Thelda was turning into a very beautiful young woman in her own right, but was a little on the shy side. At one of these activities, Thelda met a handsome and charming young man, Robert "Bob" Bertram, who attended Concordia College across town, a Lutheran high school and prep school for seminary, where Bob's father, Martin, taught German language and literature. Thelda and Bob started dating, and eventually became high school sweethearts. In all likelihood, (if Bob's future statements on this topic to his children are any indication), Bob probably conveyed to Thelda the Bertram family's viewpoint that one didn't have to feel ashamed about being German, but rather that being German was something that one could be proud of. Thelda and Bob both graduated from their respective high schools in 1939. A few months later, Germany invaded Poland, marking the beginning of World War II. If ever there were periods throughout history when it was a challenge to feel good about being German, that was certainly one of them.

Thelda had her sights set on going to college, and Bob encouraged her in that, as that was his own plan as well. But Thelda's parents Emma and Charles were skeptical that college was necessary for Thelda. Thelda credited her eldest brother, Carl, who himself had gone to college, (as well as law school), with persuading Emma and Charles that Thelda was up to the challenge of college, and should be given the opportunity to go. Thelda wanted to go to Valparaiso University, but lacked the financial resources. So Thelda got a job working in the office of one of Fort Wayne's die manufacturers - initially just a secretarial job, but eventually Thelda was in charge of all of the office functions, including payroll. In the evening, Thelda took college-level courses at Indiana University's Fort Wayne Extension. Bob stayed in Fort Wayne for two years after high school graduation, taking Concordia College's preparatory classes for seminary.

During this time Thelda's and Bob's relationship grew ever deeper, and they both felt that they had met the person that they were meant to spend their life with. In 1941, Bob applied to Concordia Seminary in St. Louis, and was accepted, and in the fall of that year said goodbye to his parents and (for the time being) to Thelda, and left Fort Wayne, and went to St. Louis to begin his seminary training. A few months later, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and the Unites States entered World War II. For three years after leaving Fort Wayne, Bob was in St. Louis pursuing his seminary training, while Thelda remained in Fort Wayne, living with her parents, running the office of the die manufacturer, taking evening college courses at the Indiana University Extension, and continuing her piano lessons. During this time, Thelda and Bob stayed in constant communication, while each one pursued their individual goals.

STORY, Part 2: VALPARAISO and CHICAGO

In 1944, Thelda applied for admission to Valparaiso University ("Valpo") and was accepted. By the end of that summer, Thelda had earned enough college credits, and enough money, to enable her to make the move to Valpo. So it was at that time that Thelda packed up her things, said goodbye to her parents, moved out of her parents' house on East Creighton Avenue in Fort Wayne, and traveled to Valparaiso, Indiana, where she settled into student housing on the Valparaiso University campus. During the next two years, Thelda worked diligently toward earning her degree from Valpo, while Bob worked toward completing his seminary training at Concordia in St. Louis. Thelda and Bob had a coordinated plan. In June of 1946, Thelda graduated from Valparaiso University. Also in June, Bob graduated from Concordia Seminary.

Immediately following their graduations, Thelda and Bob both packed up their things and traveled to Fort Wayne - Thelda coming from Valparaiso and Bob coming from St. Louis. On June 12, 1946 in Fort Wayne, Thelda and Bob were married in Zion Lutheran Church, the church in which Thelda had grown up. They had a short rainy honeymoon at Lake James, in the Fort Wayne area, after which Thelda and Bob traveled together from Fort Wayne back to the Valparaiso University campus. Thelda had lined up a summer job as a "house parent" in one of Valpo's residence halls, the main benefit of which was that it provided the newlyweds with a place to stay through the summer.

Although no living person knows exactly when this started, Thelda and Bob were in the practice, throughout their married life, of saying to each other "Well, we've come this far" whenever they would reach what they considered to be a significant milestone in their lives together. Who knows, maybe this practice began soon after they were married?

At the end of the summer of 1946, Thelda and Bob traveled from Valparaiso to the University of Chicago, where Bob had been accepted into the Divinity School's PhD program, and they settled into graduate student housing. In the months ahead, Thelda worked in the University of Chicago's Harper Library, as a researcher for the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

While in Chicago, Thelda became pregnant with their first child - a girl, born on December 12, 1948, and they named her Susan.

It was around this time that Valparaiso University started reaching out to Bob in Chicago about possibly coming to work in Valpo's Philosophy Dept. No doubt, this decision for Thelda and Bob was some time in the making, as Bob could complete the coursework for his Ph.D. before the move, but his dissertation would not be finished yet. But we can imagine that Thelda was able to get to "Why not." about this decision, since by the summer of 1950, Thelda was pregnant with their second child, and the move to Valparaiso would be compatible with plans for a growing family. So by the end of the summer of 1950, Thelda and Bob packed up their things in graduate student housing, as well as their toddler Susan, and traveled from Chicago to Valparaiso University, were Bob would start teaching classes in the fall. They moved into a little rental house close to campus, "the little house on Roosevelt Road". It doesn't take a great leap of imagination to allow for the possibility that Thelda and Bob might have uttered the words "Well, we've come this far" around that time.

Even though they had completed their move to Valparaiso, Thelda had more confidence in the doctors and medical staff that she had come to know in Chicago, than the ones in Valparaiso, and so Thelda had their second baby in Chicago - another girl, born in Chicago on January 4, 1951, and they named her Kathleen.

As Bob settled into the role of father, breadwinner, and professor at Valparaiso University, Thelda settled into the role of mother, homemaker and financial mastermind. In 1953, Thelda became pregnant with their third child - this time a boy, born on November 10, 1953, and they named him Timothy. A third baby probably meant that the little rental house was not going to be enough space, necessitating the move into larger quarters - the large apartment in Stiles Hall. This move might ordinarily have cost them more money, except for the fact that Thelda and Bob agreed to serve as 'house parents' of Stiles Hall.

In 1956, Thelda become pregnant with their fourth child - another girl, born February 4, 1957, and they named her Sarah. Now even Stiles Hall was probably going to feel cramped.

Thelda and Bob purchased some property in the neighborhood where several of their Valpo friends lived - Linwood Avenue. To go on that property, they purchased a kit from which they built a cedar, ranch-style house. It was 1958, and Thelda was pregnant with their fifth child, but that didn't stop her from rolling up her sleeves and working on the construction of their new home. The baby - another boy, was born on January 9, 1959, and they named him John.

Not wanting all that space in the new house and yard to go to waste, another child was probably called for. In 1961, Thelda was pregnant with their sixth child - another boy, born July 1, 1961, and they named him Michael.

While Thelda had been busy making babies, and raising children, and making homes, and masterminding finances, Bob had been productive also. He had been making a name for himself professionally at Valparaiso University, and other institutions were starting to take notice. One in particular, his old alma mater Concordia Seminary in St. Louis, contacted Bob in 1963 and offered him the opportunity to take his career up a notch and come teach courses at Concordia. No doubt Thelda and Bob thought hard about this decision. The record does not show how long it took Thelda to get to "Why not.", but she did get there.

STORY, Part 3: ST. LOUIS and MUNICH

In August 1963, Thelda and Bob, and all six kids, moved from the house that Thelda and Bob had built in Valparaiso, into housing on the Concordia Seminary campus in Clayton (a suburb of St. Louis). Certainly, that must have been a moment worthy of "Well, we've come this far".

Thelda and Bob wanted to have the opportunity, and wanted their kids to have the opportunity, to get a sense of what it was like to be German in the mid-1960s to mid-1970s, by living in Germany, learning the German language, and experiencing German culture first-hand, during those times. That opportunity came along not once, not twice, but three times.

In the summer before the 1965-66 school year, Thelda and Bob, and all six kids, left their home on the Concordia Seminary campus and went to live for a year in Germering (a suburb of Munich), returning back to their home on the Concordia Seminary campus in time for the following school year.

In the late 1960s, as soon as all six kids were enrolled in school, Thelda found employment as a librarian in the Concordia Seminary library, and held that position for several years.

In November 1969, Thelda and Bob, and kids Tim, Sally, John and Mike, left their home on the Concordia Seminary campus and went to live for almost a year in Neugermering (a suburb of Munich), returning back to their home on the Concordia Seminary campus in time for the following school year.

In late 1971, Thelda and Bob moved from their housing on the Concordia Seminary campus in Clayton to a home of their own in University City (a suburb of St. Louis).

In the mid-1970s, Thelda resigned her librarian position at Concordia Seminary and, before long, found new employment as a librarian in the library of Concordia Seminary in Exile ("Seminex") in St. Louis, and held that position for several years.

For the 1976-77 school year, Thelda and Bob, and kids John and Mike, left their home in University City and went to live for a year in the Perlacher Forst neighborhood of Munich, returning back to their home in University City in time for the following school year.

In the early 1980s, Thelda resigned her library position at Seminex and later found new employment as a librarian in Washington University's Music Library in St. Louis. Thelda held that position for several years. While in that position, Thelda earned a Master's degree in Library Science from the University of Missouri (Columbia), which in turn enabled her to advance further within Washington University's Music Library.

In 1995, Thelda and Bob moved from their home in University City to a lovely patio home on the campus of the Laclede Groves retirement community in Webster Groves (a suburb of St. Louis). Thus officially began Thelda and Bob's "retirement", although neither of them had any desire to stop working - just to have "working" be more on their terms. Thelda started a business for herself as a freelance indexer of books and articles being readied for publication, and Bob finally found some time for his writing projects. During this period, there were three heavenly locations where Thelda and Bob vacationed every year - Sanibel Island in Florida in the spring, Bayrischzell in Bavaria in the summer, and Carlsbad in California in the fall - and sometimes their children and grandchildren would come join them, at Sanibel and Carlsbad, for brief visits. Thelda and Bob took their work projects with them on these vacations - but were strict about putting the work away for the day come lunchtime. Thelda and Bob also hosted two fantastic Bertram family reunions during this period - in 1996 and 2001- both at the Eagle Creek resort in Illinois. Back at home in St. Louis, Thelda had become an avid fan of Cardinals baseball, and she passed the bug on to Bob, and so Thelda and Bob enjoyed watching many Cardinals baseball games together in their home.

After what must have been a very sorrowful sharing of "Well, we've come this far", Thelda had to bid farewell to the love of her life when Bob passed away on March 13, 2003.

After Bob's passing, Thelda remained in her patio home at Laclede Groves for several more years. She took on several challenging projects: researching the family's genealogy, organizing over a thousand family photos into albums, and volunteering with the Laclede Groves Auxiliary, a group that strives to provide funds to residents who are experiencing financial difficulties. Thelda even served as the Auxiliary's president for a while.

Thelda eventually downsized from her patio home to an apartment in Laclede Groves' Independent Living community. As part of her downsizing, she donated her piano to Laclede Groves, who placed the instrument in the Mezzanine above the Dining Hall, and to this day local pianists are brought in to give concerts on Thelda's piano, for all the residents to enjoy. Thelda valued the additional people contact that came with being an Independent Living resident, and was delighted to discover that she was in high demand as a bridge partner, well into her nineties. She went on some cruises, and other forms of travel, with friends and family members - including several annual retreats with her six kids at Wilderness Lodge in the Ozarks - and enjoyed many visits in her St. Louis home from her children and grandchildren. For a while, Thelda had a beautiful pet canary in her apartment, which she named "Bobolino", who sang to her often and brought her joy. And Thelda never lost her enthusiasm for watching Cardinals baseball games.

In March 2022, in order to better provide for her round-the-clock care, Thelda, with the help of her family, moved to Mt. Olivet Careview Home in Minneapolis, where she lived out the remainder of her days in relative peace and comfort and minimal pain, until she passed away peacefully on June 25, 2022. These days, Thelda's children talk about what Thelda and Bob will say to each other when they are reunited in the next life. Who knows, maybe "Well, we've come this far" ?

MEMORIAL SERVICE

A celebration of Thelda's 100+ years will be held on Saturday, November 5, 2022, at 1:00 PM at Christ Lutheran Church, 1 Selma Ave., Webster Groves, MO. Please wear a mask.

FLOWERS

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to aid the needy and the hungry.