Gray Fitch Scariot

We all loved Gray in the feminist community.She provided a place for many lesbian parents and their children to have a sense of normalcy on the weekends she hosted for us, many of whom who could not afford getaways, and she did so with great generosity. The last time I saw her was by joyful accident in Sanibel where my son was able to luxuriate in her hot tub.

Sorry to hear of her passing. She was very kind to me when I needed kindness. What a great lady she turned out to be, but no surprising.

It's hard to believe it's been two years since Gray's death. I still think of her when I see water, and I hope that her gifts of generosity and belief in the power of change continue to grow in us all.

I've just searched Gray's name on momma metasearch engine to find her obit, and I am devastated. I knew her since 1973 when she guided me into the Washington County N.O.W. chapter, and my life has never been without her whisper in my ear, especially when confronted with an ethical dilemma, when I'd ask myself, "what would Gray say?" I've dreamed of her often but never knew she was gone. I guess for me, she's still around, hey?

I hope that is so too, for everyone else who has been touched by her glamour and wisdom. Bon voyage, dear Sister. See you in my dreams. Sojourner(she gave me this handle for our CB trip in the 70's) and I, remember taking the Free Amazon Oath @ Indian Lake. We loved Marion Zimmer Bradley together. I have long since shortened the name to Sage, but you all might remember me as Kris Williams. Blessed Be, dear Janet and Lou.

Dear Janet and everyone -- When my latest email to Gray was returned, I started looking on the web, hoping I would not find what I found. My love and good thoughts go to you all. Even though Gray and I did not get together frequently, our long friendship allowed us to always pick up right where we had left off. I am so sad we won't have the opportunity to do that again.

Janet, if you see this, please keep in touch.

Much love to you all, Cindy

I am saddened by Gray's passing. She shared her home, and freindship with me.Even though I have not seen her in many years that never kept me from remembering her and the happy times together. She was a great person and will be missed by many.

I was very sad when my good friend, Kate Podvia, shared the news about Gray's death. Gray was indeed a person who touched many lives and I truly enjoyed being in her company. I offer that not only was she an advocate for women but also for children. When Kate & I worked for Volunteers in Partnership (VIP), Gray opened the Indian Lake house for our "girls weekend". They all wanted to ride in Gray's Jeep! The lasting & favorable impressions in this regard are priceless.



My heartfelt condolences to Janet, Lou and family.

Gray helped build communities in all aspects of her life: for her family, for kids, for victims of domestic violence, for women in the arts, for NOW members, for anyone seeking a safe space to discuss the state of the world.



I join the many who will long remember "sunset cruises" at the Lake, weekends with more laughs than could be counted and quiet times with Gray alone, as she struggled with the NYTimes crossword.



My best wishes to Janet. I am sad that you have lost your mom, but I know you will keep her in your heart, as will we all.

So many years of friendship and camraderie with wonderful memories of fun and always interesting times at the lake. Gray's generosity and support of women and their children by invitations to share her space at the lake were always welcome. Halloween's past, from witching ceremonies to costuming to anything (almost) goes will surely be remembered and missed by those of us who had the opportunity to share with Gray and whoever showed up.



I worked for Gray (and Flo) so many years ago at Birmingham Booksellers. It was truly a delight to open boxes of new books with Gray and share her excitement.



I will miss her and all who knew her will miss the centeredness and grounding that was so much a part of the lake experience. I'll be thinking of her when JK Rowling releases her next tome.

I have always thought of Gray as wise elder; someone who thinks deeply, and argues passionately, about the issues that meant the most to her. And she did so while driving the boat and nudging someone up on skis for the first time! I always assumed Gray would be around to guide my journey into old age. I will miss her.

I met Gray at a racism workshop at the YWCA in Washington, PA. I was impressed by her understanding of the issues. We were good friends ever since, working on YWCA and NOW projects together for years.



The Wildsisters restaurant/gallery/gathering space would never have happened without Gray. We started meeting for dinner there on Wednesdays - it was the best day for her to come to town, and my kids were with their father. This was March 1983. Soon others joined us for dinner, and thus began the Wednesday Dinner Group, which still gets together every week.



Gray influenced my kids in many ways with her openness, her values and her inner/outer child. She touched so many lives. I will never forget her and the many good times and good works we shared.

I always looked forward to Gray's return from Sanibel each year to rejoin the Wednesday night dinner gatherings. She brought a little more laughter, more good stories and her special knack for telling them. So for now, I'm just going to think she's down in Sanibel and I'll see her on theh beach someday.

Since I first met Gray 25 years ago, not a day has gone by where some event, encounter or thought hasn't connected back to her. So brilliant, so passionate, so generous, so wonderful.



Somewhere, Gray is preparing to sit down to a particularly spirited dinner party with the likes of Andrea Dworkin, Audre Lorde, Bella Abzug, Gertrude Stein, Ida B Wells, Cady Stanton, Alice Paul, Artemesia Gentileschi, Amelia Earhart, Kate Hepburn, and motley crew of amazing women.

Dear Janet, I was so sorry to hear about your mom. As children we spent some time together and remember those fun water-skiing lessons at Indian Lake. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Words people who knew Gray would use to describe her: intelligent, feminist, generous, opinionated, activist,liberal,and friend. Gray was part of my youth and I have always admired her steadfast support of the women’s community. Gray was active in and often the initiator of many projects for the Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania women’s community. A bright light has gone out but will remain in the hearts and thoughts of many.

Mundy and Family,

Our deepest sympathy to you and your family. I met Gray in Sanibel while staying at your place the year she was going to rent on the water for the winter. She was a lovely person.

Gray has been a friend, mentor and advocate to so many women. She has been the conduit through which I have maintained contact with so many others. Her presence will be missed.

I keep traveling in my mind to the lake... to many gatherings there with so many people. She touched many lives and challenged many to stretch a bit out of their comfort zones. I am so grateful for the time I spent with her and sorry that in recent years my life was too busy for trips to the lake with offerings of chocolates... You will be missed Gray. I will miss you.

I am with all my wonderful memories of the lake and my trip to visit Gray in Sanibel. I loved her intelligence, political awareness, her high spirits, and fun-loving cheer. Her generosity is legendary, and her ability to create community around her wherever she was settled brought good times and new friends to many. I will miss her.

Gray was a remarkable woman. I have such great memories of weekends spent with Gray and friends at Indian Lake. She made her home a place where women connected, relaxed, and re-engergized. There are so many who will miss her deeply.

As a classmate of Gray's at Winchester Thurston School I remember her fondly for her openness to friendship and her very thoughtful mind. She had a great deal to offer the world and she obviously did that. My deepest sympathy to her family.

One (of many) of the wonderful things about Gray was that once you were introduced, you immediately became a friend. She had the gift of instantly making you feel welcome, the ability to engage you in conversation and the wisdom to make you feel important. It is difficult to image the world without Gray being in it and I will miss her. However, I believe Gray is somewhere on a great blue lake, resting in a boat, a stack of books beside her with enough time to read them. She is at peace.

I've known Gray for about 25 years. I will remember her as a vibrant, vital, game-loving, and generous woman. I will miss her.

I am so sorry for all of your family. There was something very special about Gray. I remember her when I was much younger and how much fun she was to be around. I loved spending time with the whole family. I remember babysitting Janet when she was a baby. I am an old friend of Madeleine's. Please accept my deepest sympathy.

Gray was a memorable conversationalist and I enjoyed so much talking with her.