JOHN NEISWANGER

John was my best Topeka friend. I still clearly recall riding with him in his VW on snowy mornings to Topeka West High School, and traveling with him one summer in that same car to Estes Park, where we drank beer that gave us both a headache. Years later, I remember having lunch with him at the University Club in NYC, and meeting him for lunch in Los Angeles.

John had a very sharp mind and a great sense of humor. He could tell me details of his relatives who lived in Topeka many years before his birth--his grandmother was on the Board of Education at the time of Brown v. Topeka Board. His grandparents and my grandparents were friends, so my friendship with him was almost a family affair.

I flew back twice to New Jersey to see him just prior to his death. I remember saying goodbye to him at Newark Airport. He didn't say it, but I knew he realized that this was the last time he would see each other.

John was a person I never tired of being with. We never ran out of material for conversation. I'm a notorious chatterbox, but he didn't mind it, because he could chatter as well. Yes, I miss John a great deal. Whenever I'm in Topeka, I lay flowers on his grave.

Rest in Peace, dear friend.

John was a good friend and a great leader in our Church. He will be deeply missed.

John and I became friends in 1980 when I began working at the New York Mercantile Exchange and John and Tony's firm was the pr firm for the company. Over the years we shared many laughs and experiences together and John continued his kindness to our family by welcoming our son Peter(whose birth in NYC John helped us celebrate) to an internship at CN while Peter was in college. I have never met a more caring and compassionate man; no finer person ever graced this earth. I will miss him with my whole heart. God bless you, John.

John's decency came from a deep moral well that his proper Topeka upbringing seldom allowed him to put on display. John always said and did the right thing, and perhaps we took that for granted. It was John being John. But John also understood --- REALLY understood --- the difference between right and wrong. Toward the end, he recounted for me a wonderful story of something that happened 40 years earlier when he was a student at Ohio State.

Elected head of the stuffy (and aptly named) Traditions Board, John became the first non-fraternity man to lead that group in a long time. He broke tradition by booking for a campus show Blood, Sweat and Tears, rather than the usual plain vanilla musical groups who played to half-empty houses. The show sold out.

Another frat man assumed he would succeed John and would return Traditions Board leadership to its proper place. But John had other ideas. He recognized a harder-working young woman he thought would make a worthier successor. He fought for her election and she won. That she was female AND Jewish made John's victory all the sweeter, as evidenced by the satisfied smile on John's face four decades later.

John possessed the rare gift of making each of us better simply by his being. I will always cherish my friendship with him and will honor him by trying to lead the life he would expect a friend to lead.

John, We'll tip an Old Grand Dad and remember 50 years of friendship. We miss seeing you and your family across the fence and are glad we still have Bill and Nancy. We cherish our friendship with you. Peace

John hired me in 1980 as an intern. I knew nothing. About anything. What he shared with this wet-behind-the ears intern was this: intelligence, discipline, wit and substance are formidable gifts in service to others. This was, it turns out, all I ever really needed to know. I am lucky to have shared some time with you, John. I am nervous that you are proofing this from Heaven. I send my love and admiration.

I just know that I will always remember him, and miss his unique inquisitive way of addressing everything around him. Sasha Freckleton Fowlin-Patient Care Tech (Overlook Hospital, Summit, NJ)

I did not have the privilege of knowing John, but it sounds as though the love and nurturing he received from his father and mother went a long way. David was my mentor, as John was to many. My thoughts and prayers are with Bill and family.

John's commitment and service to St. Thomas Church and Choir School was commendable and exemplary. He was especially thoughtful of the needs of others and was passionate about the health and success of our church. He was our friend and we shall miss him. Our sincere thoughts and prayers are with his family.
Linda & Shane

Bill and Nancy,
I am so sorry to have missed John''s service on Friday. Steve tells me it was very nice and there were many people there to celebrate John's life. Please know that my thoughts are with you all and that I have spent time this weekend reminiscing about all the fun Steve, John and I had together as kids. He was truly one of a kind and I feel so lucky to have shared so many fun times with him. My best to you both.
Judy

John had me at "Hello". After our formal introductions, we spent hours talking politics, academia and life. I was in college at that time and John took an immediate interest in my success and happiness and I knew I had found a tremendous mentor (I am sure this will sound familar to so many). John was proud of my accomplishments, he was excited about my prospects, and he was there to help me achieve my goals however he could. From interning at CN, through teaching and then law school, John was always supportive of my latest endeavor, but when I came back to CN, he couldn't have been happier. I will be forever grateful to him as he changed the direction of my life. He was a true friend and I will miss him.

Kind,intelligent, faithful, hard-working--although I was able to see John only briefly over the years, I held him in high regard. He will be missed. My condolences to his family and friends.

John was my friend and mentor for 30 years. He was warm and witty and kind and loving. I will never forget the good times and long discussions about everything and anything.

My heartfelt condolences to Bill and Nancy and Sara and Tony.

John, I will miss you dearly, until we meet again.

I love you.
Ginny

I was John's roommate during my senior year at Otterbein College near Columbus, Ohio. He and I had become friends the previous year when I did an internship at his PR firm. As graduation neared, John said to me in the way that only he could say it, "Bradley, I don't want to be just another passing face." It was like being taken gently but firmly by the lapels of my coat, held for just a moment, and taught a new and profound lesson: life moves on quickly, recognize and hold on to what's dear. John had the power, the gift, and the need to reach out and gather you in. He gathered in new friends as he moved through life. He both gave and received. In another entry in this guest book John's friend Lou Heldman notes John's "...grace, dignity, creativity, work ethic and good humor." No truer words were ever said of John. I will miss him dearly.

Since I said goodbye to John in Topeka and headed back to Dallas, I've been thinking a lot about one of my favorite memories of him. We had stayed too late having fun in NYC one fall weekend night during college, and were going to miss the last train from Penn Station to Port Washington on Long Island where we were staying with former Topeka friends of my parents. We decided to run down 5th Avenue from the Plaza Hotel area, and with my high heels in my hand, stockings shredded, we laughed all the way to the station. We did manage to make the train by the skin of our teeth. I'm so thankful this is just one of so many great memories of John that I've cherished over 61 years of knowing him. John's wonderful brother, sister in law, niece, and extended family; his business partner Tony and his staff; as well as countless friends in NY, NJ, KS, and other states were there to support John so lovingly through his battle. He was tougher and braver in his fight than about anyone I've known. John took it head on. He was my hero. And I will miss him terribly. John's obituary reveals that he had the energy, creativity, and accomplishments of 3 people. I won't say good bye, just see you later, John. And maybe we'll take another run down 5th Avenue. Much love always.

I had the joy of being John's second cousin. We often enjoyed sharing information about our Updegraff family history. A few years back my family met John for lunch in Huntington Beach. It was a perfect day with the sun so bright and kites flying in the sky. We give our condolences to Bill, Nancy and Sara. And to John, I will miss you and I will sign off in the proper and loving way you did in your letters.

Your Cousin,

Sarah

My condolences to Bill, Nancy and family.

Tammy Blankenship

I was John's roommate at Ohio State for two years and his friend for 40 years. John was a great role model. I will always remember him for his grace, dignity, creativity, work ethic and good humor. He was dedicated to his family, friends, colleagues, church, New Jersey, Ohio State and Topeka. He will be greatly missed.

Our condolences to Bill and family.

Ken & Carleen Merritt

John, Tom and I and my sisters Jane and Susan - and all of our friends who couldn't help becoming your friends too - will miss you. Godspeed.

I attended TWHS with John and was suprised and saddened to learn of his passing. We were able to spend some time getting caught up at our last reunion. I am glad to have had that opportunity and to call John a friend.

Jim Miller
Fargo, ND

I love you and will miss you John. No more suffering. Love, your cousin Carolanne.

We will miss you and think of all the good times. Our sincere sympathy to John's family who bravely supported John through these difficult times.

John was a great friend to Saint Thomas Church and its Choir School for many years as a member and leader of the Vestry. John had an engaging smile that will be missed by many.

You fought the good fight. Talk to you again, my friend.