Mrs. May Chang Seto

Hello. My name is Benson and I am one of the many great-grandchildren of this amazing woman to whom we are paying tribute to today. I am extremely proud to have called May Seto my great-grandmother.
Not many people get to meet their great grandmother. It is a special experience for so many reasons and I cannot be more thankful to have had that for the first 30 years of my life. For the younger great-grandchildren, though your time with her was shorter, you will not forget her for she was the greatest living link to our family’s past and origins.

We knew her affectionately and endearingly as “Bak-Bak”, but back in China, she was firstly known a great Mother and Grandmother. After her daughter’s departure to the United States, she was there to provide support in any way to raise her grandchildren in China, especially because our grandparents were teachers and lived at the school, while our parents were mostly tended to by hired help. Great-Grandma walked long distances to wherever the children were to lend a hand in cooking and feeding them, as well as just to spend time with the kids. It is these stories that I have heard from my father that sound extremely familiar to me as Great Grandma could only be described as a best friend to the little child. My father as a young child often took long walks with Great Grandma as she ran her errands. And she carried him on her back even if fellow villagers would laugh that he was too old to be carried.

The time came in 1957 for Great Grandma to leave China and start her journey to the new world at the age of 47. She had briefly lived 2 years in Macau before finally landing in Vancouver to join her husband, our great grandfather Joe Der. This new chapter in Great Grandmother’s later life was not to be without the biggest challenges she would ever face, when her husband suddenly passed away just after 6 years of her arrival. Anyone from our generation can only imagine what life was like for new immigrant from China in the early 1960s, who did not speak a word of English. In addition she was a woman in her mid 50s and was recently widowed. In spite of all these obstacles, she was determined to fend for herself while financially support our family back in China AND saving up enough to eventually sponsor a family member to come to Canada. She did this by working as a dishwasher for the next 10 years and living as sparsely as possible. She wouldn’t even take the bus during the winter and instead saved on busfare by walking to and from work.
Great Grandmother achieved great success because finally in 1975, my father Doug Hsieh was the first family member to immigrate here on her sponsorship. And from there on, Great Grandmother finally was no longer alone and, we know the rest of the story of how our family has all made it here and have had the better life that she sought for all of us. And her legacy does not end there. Today we are joined by members of Great Grandma’s daughter’s family, her grandchildren who were born and raised in Mississippi, USA. And with them are many more great-grandchildren as well.

Out of all the great-grandchildren, I am speaking today because I was so fortunate enough to be the first great grandchild that she got to hold in her arms. Again like in the many pictures of her with her various grandchildren, you can tell she was overjoyed to be able to be a child’s best friend again after all those years after leaving China. Like my father, I have many memories of going on long walks with her as she grocery shopped in Chinatown, and sitting with her watching her favourite show which was “The Price is Right”, and I assume she knew how the game worked, and of course eating her many hand made Chinese pastries that were my favourites. I bet you didn’t even know she made a mean apple pie. My siblings and I will always remember her numerous impeccably peeled apples soaking in water and a pile of apple skin that she had always peeled with her pocket knife in one continuous strip. And the funniest memory of course is how she would get us to be obedient kids by reminding us of the big gorilla that lived one floor up in the stairwell right by her apartment suite. She was so believable that the Gorilla was more real to us than Santa Claus!

Unfortunately by my teenage years, her decline began and she couldn’t make those pastries anymore. In 1999, after 22 years living in Chau Luen in Chinatown, she moved into the care home where she remained to the age of 100. Though she couldn’t be a child’s best friend the way we were used to, she was still full of warmth and smiles when we said good night to her. Her signature good bye was by putting her hands together and wishing you “Fat Choy!” like it was Chinese New Year every day.

For those who are too young or didn’t get the chance to know Great Grandma to be the vibrant and warm grandmother that she was, remember her always for her extraordinary and unwavering never-give-up attitude through the toughest times. From the days in China as a mother and grandmother, she has consistently displayed enormous dedication and strength for her family. When she unexpectedly became a widow in a new foreign country, she remained strong because she knew the well being of the entire family back in China was then on her shoulders alone. And even when family finally arrived in Canada, she continued to be there for the family by looking after the great grand children. And though she lived a long life, for much of it seemed to be a solitary one, she was always motivated by her family first and she was most joyous when she was able to witness the fruits of her labour, which of course were the successes of her grand children and great grandchildren. And till her final moments on this earth, she was a fighter still … and that is why our family is in Canada.
Her life’s work and memories will now live on through all 4 generations of us, as our big family is undoubtedly her legacy. Great Grandma – Bak Bak - we only hope we have done justice to all your efforts, and still continue to do so, because we know can never thank you enough for the impact you have made to each one of our lives. Bak-Bak, may you finally rest in peace.