Norman L. Marley

When I first met Norm, one of the first things I noticed about him was his hands. They were strong and powerful enough to build a farm from bare dirt into a home and yet could be gentle enough to cradle the smallest baby or kitten. Those hands spoke to me. They just seemed to reflect strength and reliability, as though he could do anything he put his mind and hands to.
As I got to know him better as a friend I came to see the man behind the hands. I saw the keen, practical intelligence that made him such a good engineer. I saw honesty, integrity, confidence, loyalty. Norm knew who he was and who he wanted to be, and in that self-assurance, he stood up for what he knew was right, never intimidated or particularly impressed by rank or social status. Oh, he respected what went into someone´s earning an important position but always looked for the character of that person first. Character mattered to him - his own and in others.
But I think I fell in love with him when I realized what a genuinely kind and fair human being lay inside his heart. He would go out of his way to help others achieve their goals or overcome a challenge - sometimes to his own detriment. But he would invariably set his personal worries aside, knowing he would work the snags out eventually. For Norm, the interests of friends and family were more important than any temporary discomfort of his own.
Bottom line, as his caregivers over the last 5 years often said, Norm was a really nice man.
Now, all of that said, when I first met Norm, he was - not to be too blunt - a player. Just off the top of my head, I can think of Arlene, Buff, Bev, and Marie. I know there were more, but ex-girlfriends are history as are my ex-boyfriends. He chose me. For some reason I have never completely understood, he chose to spend more than half his life with me. I can´t begin to tell you how lucky I have always felt for that.
And I chose him as well. I wanted a husband with intelligence, humor, honesty, integrity, confidence and, most of all, kindness. I found all that and much, much more in Norm.
When I married him, I knew I had found my safe haven and the family I didn´t even realize I needed. That first year made me a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother at 27. Thank God, I had Norm at my back. I had no idea how to handle everything that came with that.
Now I have to say that when our mutual friends realized something had changed between us, they came to me with warnings. They knew the string of hearts trailing behind Norm and tried to save me from joining that string. One by one, they told me to be careful of him. I think I actually heard something to the effect of, "Be very careful. This won´t last. He will break your heart."
Well, 51 years later, we did last much longer than anyone expected. As the song says, "We had joy, we had fun. We had seasons in the sun." But no life is perfect. Yes, we did have our share of challenges, but they were balanced by adventures too many to list and most of all by love. And always, always, we faced whatever came to us together, a team with a joint purpose. Through it all, my heart remained intact, but Norm, you have finally broken it. It will not be whole again until we are back together.

I think I first heard about Norm in 2004. Cathy and I both belonged to a local writers' group, and that year our monthly meeting in February fell on Valentine's Day. We shared some of our favorite love stories from movies and favorite authors and decided as a group to write a book of our own love stories, which was published the following year. Cathy's story opens the book and was about a rose bush that Norm planted after they moved into their home on Mt. View. The bush started out as a stick with roots and had a tag promising a bush full of red roses- the rose of passion and love. Norm carefully tended this plant and one day it had a bud. Norm was looking forward to gifting Cathy with massive bouquets of red roses. That small bud opened and revealed itself in all of its beautiful yellow glory - standing for joy, gladness and freedom. This bush bloomed year-round but only produced one flower a day and its colors ranged from white tinged with red, to shades of coral to the beautiful yellow of the first rose. Each day, Norm would cut the rose of the day and present it to Cathy. Cathy usually placed it in a vase in her office so she could enjoy the slightly spicey scent and its unique beauty. No two roses were ever the same and Cathy says no two days with this incredible man were ever the same. I had the pleasure of knowing Norm and witnessing his love and devotion for Cathy and their family over the past 20 years. My sister, Clo, and I called him Sweet Norm and we feel blessed to have known this special man.

I am very fortunate to have been a Caregiver for Norm for 5 wonderful yrs! He made me feel as if I was caring for my own Dad. We enjoyed silly jokes and my bringing props for St Patrick's & other holidays to dress up for pictures. He cracked me up several times with his quick, dry humor. I could coax him out of bed in the morning by making my 'kitchen sink' scrambled eggs! He liked hearing about my dogs & seeing pictures of them & my Grandgirls. Norm loved he & Cathy's pets, Molly, Jake, Joe & Sugar.