Philip Matthew "Phil" Hayes

Hey Phil,

I've missed so much, including the news of your passing. I missed your funeral..... And because I thought you would always be around ( Like you always were) I procrastinated on making time for you, and I missed an opportunity to see your face, to hear your voice, to hear your laugh, to feel your hug one last time. But why? Why did this happen to you? WHY? I have been sending messages to your phone with no response. Initially, I thought nothing of it, but recently when I sent you a happy Father's day message and you didn't respond I decided enough is enough. Just imagine my shock, I should have known Phil, I should have known something was wrong, you always respond to me. It never occurred to me that you could be gone, it never occurred to me.

All I have left are the memories, of the times we shared. Those memories help ease the pain, the disappointment, the sadness, and the regret. I have not one bad memory, thank you for that. Thank you for always lifting my spirits, for always encouraging me, for always telling me that I am beautiful. Thank you for always being a safe space (physically and mentally), thank you for being a good man to me. I met you at a time in my life when I really needed a good man, I am glad it was you.

I'll check in again. I'll keep sending you greetings, but I'll post them here from now on. Until our next moment of sharing... I miss you.