Philip Henry Kruis

Phil and his siblings are my double cousins. Their mom is my mom's sister and their dad is my dad's brother. That was a special link knowing that all of our genetics came from the same gene pool. And so it was fun to see how much they were like my siblings. Since I was the youngest of nine children and Phil was quite a few years older than me, I really didn't know Phil very well until he and his wife Linae came to visit my mother Mae When she lived with us about eight years ago. I was impressed with how much Phil was like my brother Bob. They were both born with that mischievous twinkle in their eye and a love for life and having fun, which has blessed many through the years. I treasure the memories that I have of their time with us and how he honored and loved our mother and I was impressed with their very deep faith in God during a difficult time of pancreatic cancer Linae was battling.

I'm so sorry to learn that Phil has graduated to Heaven. Good for him but hard on those left behind! I knew Phil & Linae from church, mostly back in the 1980s & 90s. One day, when my husband & I had only been attending Trail Christian Fellowship for a few years, Phil approached us & asked if we'd consider being part of the Saturday night cleanup crew. We'd be responsible to show up on a Saturday evening once a month to check over the church campus & make sure it was clean & ready for Sunday morning. I called it the "Spit & Polish" ministry. It was usually easy-peasy (emptying trash, a little vacuuming here & there) but on a few occasions we walked into a total disaster & spent hours readying the building for Sunday worship. I was deeply touched by Phil's trust. My husband had been in some legal trouble so it was very meaningful to be handed a key to the church building & trusted to take good care of it for the brethren. Phil oversaw that ministry for many years & was a dear brother in Christ.

Phil and I got to know each other from an online dating site. We started texting and eventually graduated to actual phone calls. We spent many hours sharing our lives and faith. We had deep conversations and I began to fall in love with him before we had even met.
We made a date to meet and go for a hike together. We each drove about an hour and a half to meet for lunch and then a hike. I was kind of scared and excited. I prayed, " God, please show me his heart!"
We met at a small sandwich shop. We were a little nervous, but happy to be together in person. After eating, we drove another 45 minutes to our hiking spot. We hiked a mile or two to a beautiful waterfall. We enjoyed our conversation and looking at all the nature around us.
When we returned, we sat together at a picnic table. Phil surprised me with a cherry pie he´d made and brought for us to share. He had forks but had forgotten plates, so we just dug into it and ate it from the pan. It was funny and a little romantic.
We sat talking and he put his hand on my shoulder and neck. I melted into his sweet and gentle affection. I thought he was going to kiss me, but later he said I surprised him by kissing him!
God did show me Phil´s heart that day. He was absolutely the man I had gotten to know through all those hours of talking on the phone. His love and kindness were real and authentic. He was a faithful man of God with integrity and character that I grew to love more and more. He poured love and encouragement into me daily.
We married after knowing each other only a couple of months. Crazy!?! Yes, it was. But, we both knew it was right. We were confident God brought us together at just the right time.
Now, that Phil is gone from this earth, I miss spending time with him and sharing those little moments and daily conversations. I miss studying our Bibles together and discussing the scriptures. I miss all the cute things he´d say to flirt with me each day.
Phil gave me enough love to last me a lifetime. That heart God showed me in Phil has imprinted itself deeply inside me. I´m thankful for the five beautiful years we had together. It was short for a marriage, but rich in love, closeness and growth.
Our kids and grandkids grew into our love too. They all became both of ours. They began to see what we saw in each other. Our love grew into them and they grew to love both of us. The same with his mom and siblings and even our friends! Our love multiplied and grew into all those we loved. There´s something pretty amazing about how God uses love that´s grounded in Him. It´s kind of like that Faith the size of a mustard seed in Matthew 17:20. It grew enough to move a mountain.

Phil and I played together before either of us probably had conscious memories, while our fathers were attending school in Grand Rapids, and our mothers were earning bread and bacon as nurses. Our families were close because all of our relatives were shared, as Phil's dad and my dad were brothers, and our mothers were sisters. Our families spent several vacations together, and maybe the most memorable for me was the one we spent in their small Montana town, where we older kids picked worms as bait for a crotchety employer named Hanow. We had to fill Prince Albert tobacco cans with 25 worms each for 5¢ apiece. It was pretty back-breaking work in the hot sun, but we had fun with each other while we did it. When I was in college in Grand Rapids, Phil's family lived in the Chicago suburb of Lansing. I spent some weekends and Christmas vacation one year with them, and Phil was my close friend then. We played cards and stayed up late at night talking. As adults we didn't see each other often, but when we did our connection was always warm.

I've always heard about the other Phil Kruis but didn't get to meet him until Shelley and I stopped in Medford on a trip to Washington. Linae was still alive at that time but she was already battling cancer. Phil was one of those guys that you say, "I wish I had met him sooner." He really did have a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and reminds me a lot of Bob Kruis. I am grieving with those who grieve and rejoicing that he is with the Lord.

Phil is the firstborn in my family. I, his sister, was born a couple years later. Being an older brother, he teased me a lot. That was his way of showing love. He was a guy that grabbed life by the horns and loved adventures. He went to Vietnam when he was 19. He didn’t really want to comply with the family’s strict religious rules and tried his own way. He married the love of his life, Linae. She sought out the Lord fervently, and that melted his heart toward God. From then on, loving God was his legacy. He was self-educated, and didn’t second-guess himself a whole lot. He made decisions by what was logical and obvious to him, and by what he knew to be pleasing to God. He was approachable and could strike up a conversation with anyone.

The four kids he and Linae parented now follow their spiritual influence. Phil and his kids endured the passing of their mother with grace and deep sorrow. When he married Gail later, we all warmly welcomed her. Seven years later we had to endure Phil’s long illness and decline towards death.

My last moments with him were sweet. I’m pretty sure he said, “Good bye, Cor” when I left his bedside the day before he passed away. I am so blessed to be his sister. I love you, Phil. I often think of how overwhelmed with joy you are now. There is no veil between you and Jesus; His mercy and grace are fully revealed. I look forward to exploring Jesus with you.