Raymond C. Bogenrief

I'd like to share the words of remembrance that I delivered at Dad's funeral mass. We miss you, Dad.

"A funeral not only shows reverence for the deceased, but a solemn commitment to the living, and I am grateful you are here. We miss those who couldnt join us today. The outpouring of support my family has received, especially as Dads illness progressed, raises our spirits and is a testament to the way his boisterous personality touched every person he met. Thank you to Mound City, where our Dads neighbors and friends grew to become extended family. Thank you for your friendship to him and kindness to us.

Thank you to our spouses, Lara, Paul, and Samantha for their support. Id also like to single out for thanks my sister Lisa who watched over Dad like a guardian angel. And to our Mom, Delores, for visiting him during his last months. His transition from this life to everlasting life was eased, thanks in large part to their comforting.

Often children want to grow up to be just like their parents. But too often, we deviated from the plan. For instance, Dad earned a degree in Bacteriology; I rebelled by studying Biochemistry. When Dad played college football, he was on the offensive line. Raymond, always the showboat, lined up years later at Tight End. Where did we go wrong?

Joking aside, my point is that Dad enjoyed what a father hopes for: a positive influence on his kids. He wasnt perfect, but he passed down to us not only his interests but his Midwestern values of hard work, decency, honesty, and loyalty to family and friends. He taught us to value learning and appreciate a good joke. He made us more serious and
funnier at the same time.

Dad emphasized family just by always being around as we grew up. He fixed faucets and our cars, rewired walls, hung basketball hoops, drove a long commute, and welcomed into our home just about any pet: dogs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, even Raymonds piranhas, who I called Thelma and Louise. And when we were grown, we counted on him to move us from dorm to dorm, apartment to apartment. I think he still holds Platinum Premium Gold Elite status at U-Haul.

Dad didnt just do stuff for us, he set an example of optimism, selflessness, and humility. I recall the time he was interviewed by a new doctor a few months ago about his outlook on his condition. Wide eyed by Dads answer, the doctor glanced at his chart, and said Dad was one of the most optimistic patients he had ever encountered. Then Dad, suffering from metastatic cancer, offered his chair to the young nurse standing in the corner. Thats an exaggeration, but not by much.

He and I spent most of our time together this year in clinical settings, where health care professionals swirled around him. Many sought out Lisa and me to say Dad was their favorite. But I was struck by his concern that he was unnecessarily burdening them. Dad wouldnt ask for help and sometimes declined it when offered. I saw sheepishness in his demeanor that broke my heart, like he believed someone else out there was in worse shape and more worthy of their efforts. He was humble to a fault.

One more story sums up Dad perfectly. He and I were chatting on the phone last May, two days after he settled into a nursing facility in Fargo. He was coming to terms with the idea of not returning home. To put his temporary residence in the best light, we agreed that the large bird cage near the lobby was a nice feature. We were cracking jokes as was
customary, and I quipped that the facility should add a pheasant to the group of finches and other small birds. Dad quieted and somberly disagreed: No, he said, pheasants are too wild, too independent to be locked up. A confined pheasant suffers, he said. They need to be free.

Dad found a kindred spirit in the pheasants of South Dakota and Iowa. He hunted them in
the good times, nurtured them in the lean times, and loved them always. The birds in the cage were safe and secure, but I suppose they were as unhappy as Dad, when he surrendered his independence to his illness. Dad lived his life, especially his time in South Dakota, the way he wanted, and for that I am grateful. He cherished his time there with his human friends, as well as Moose, Gunnar, Sarge and the rest of his pack. Im sorry he could not return to his house and his beloved dogs, but now he is home.

My spirit is buoyed knowing that he is with his parents, Eugene and Ola, his brother Gene, and Greg, and other loved ones. Please pray for our Dad and our sister, Darcy, that they find peace and joy in heaven. Thank you."

I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. Mr. Bogenrief was one of those parents who you always looked forward to speaking with when you came over to the house. I honestly have to say to that Ray was more of father to me than my own father. He was always at the games and providing support to me through high school and even after. I still can't believe how much Raymond looks like his father. Ray was a good man and will be missed!!! My heart goes out to the Bogenrief's on the loss of their father. God Bless and rest easy old friend!!!