Rene Anthony Cote

I went to work at Aetna in 1985. During my first week, I returned to my desk to find a phone-message slip from Ray. It said Tom Katz had called me. I immediately dialed the number on the slip. The voice on the other end said, "Connecticut Humane Society." But I couldn't stop myself. I said, "May I speak to Tom Katz, please ... oh ... never mind." I hung up and walked around the corner to Ray's cubicle. He'd heard every word and was doubled over in laughter. I asked him, "Is this the way it's going to be?" He replied, "Yep." We were friends from that moment on.

I learned of Ray's passing just this morning after finding a letter he'd written to me in 1987, after I'd left Aetna. I'm so sorry. If any of you in Ray's family continue receive posts from this site, please know I loved him. He was as positive an influence as I've had in my life. Among many other things, he taught me by example, as the best teachers do that nothing and no one can take your spirit and that love and laughter are ours to hold and to cherish, circumstances notwithstanding.

My most sincere condolences to the extended Cote family. I count myself among those who are blessed to have had Ray in my life.

We read of Rene's passing with deep regret. Our friendship goes all the way back to our Freshman year at HPHS.
We have many fond memories of activities,holidays, and social events with Ray and Muriel. Ray's friendship has been a lifetime treasure.
Bill &b Jessie Saxton

We worked together for many years and I believe that he was the most creative man in the building. His talent ran a surprisingly wide range and nobody had a greater love of life than did Ray. Good bye old friend and thanks for the many laughs and good times we shared.

"Ray" was already an Aetna icon when I joined the team in 1990. I was privileged to work with him for the ensuing decade and participate in -- and sometimes be the butt of -- his penchant for pranks. I was not alone. Ray was big brother, dad, shoulder to cry on -- but he was also the word wizard who could bust right through the worst writer's block.

While no easy task, we did take Ray completely by surprise on his 50th anniversary with the company. He thought he was doing me a huge favor delivering a forgotten file to a late afternoon meeting. He walked into a foyer facing over 100 people holding up his photo likeness on pop sticks. May be the only time we witnessed him speechless.

Ray was a dedicated family man who always found time to help at the family nursery and take Muriel to the latest show at The Bushnell.

The last time I talked to Ray was after his beloved Muriel passed away -- he called to thank me for my card and we had a long chat. I was so happy to hear from him and heartened that he seemed strong and upbeat despite his loss.

He touched so many lives . . . I hope that provides solace and strength to those he left behind to mourn his loss.

To everyone who loved "Ray" --

Whenever I think of Ray I smile. We worked together at Aetna and though I was technically his supervisor, he taught me a great deal. I always asked him to read the speeches I'd written and he always suggest good changes. He had a wicked, albeit subtle sense of humor. More than once, when one of my brochures was just printed, he'd take white-out put me in a panic because I'd taken a bit of white-out to do something like make an "i" look like an "l".

We were both avid UConn basketball fans and had many conversations about the team.
I always looked forward to the tomatoes.

Ray was a kind, compassionate man. I think of him several times a year. I'll think of him for as long as I put up a Christmas tree because, perhaps because I'd lost a sister, he gave me a small dried flower wreath Christine had made. It's one of my most cherished ornaments.

Yes, Ray was special and I regret not staying in touch with him after I left Aetna.

It's a cliché, but I hope all your good memories will ease the sadness you now feel.

Sincerely,

Mary Ellen Stanwick

To everyone who loved "Ray" --

I'll always remember Ray. We worked together at Aetna and though technically I was his supervisor, he taught me a great deal. He was an excellent, creative writer. Especially for speeches, I'd always ask him to edit what I'd done and he'd suggest good changes. He had wicked, albeit subtle, sense of humor. More than once, he'd send me into a panic when a brochure was just printed and he'd take a bit of white-out to make an "i" look like an "l" then bring it to me to point out my proofreading error.

We were both avid UConn basketball fans and enjoyed many conversations about the games. I always looked forward to the tomatoes.

Ray was caring and compassionate and I really do think about him several times a year and regret not staying in touch. I'll definitely think of him as long I put up a Christmas tree: perhaps because I'd lost a sister, he gave me a beautiful little dried flower wreath Christine had made. It's one of my most cherished ornaments.

It's a cliché, but surely many wonderful memories will ease your sadness.

If Ray edited this, I'm certain he'd improve it!

Sincerely,

Mary Ellen Stanwick