Roland Newton Crossley Jr.

8/2/2025, still rings true!! My Ronnie, I thank you for loving me unconditionally, always cherishing and protecting me. I will never stop loving you, what we shared was phenomenal and is something I will carry with me always. I am so thankful God brought us together....

Ronnie,
Loving and missing you still! Give Erick my love and a hug from me.
XXOO

My Ronnie, (14) years....still missing you, forever loving you.
Me.....

Ronnie,
No matter how long time has passed,
you are still in my mind and soul
The love from you will never be forgotten...
Me

Ronnie, it´s hard to believe that it´s 13 years tomorrow since your passing. We each cling to our cherished memories and pray you know just how loved you are. Our grandson Connor is graduating this year and he´s received a full scholarship to the college he´s going to attend. I thank you for looking over him, memories of how much you loved him and took such care to teach him about the world around him. You are so missed and loved, please give Erick my love and a strong hug. Always, Me

35 years ago I married my best friend. I feel the same of you today and always. Here´s a picture of our newest franchise child, Brody Ryan Crossley... Chase is a great father, he had you as an example of what a loving father is all about. Hugs, love and missing you always. Give Erick a hug from me too.

Ronnie,
Your boy is having a boy!!! It´s hard that you´re not here, we just ask that you and Erick watch over him, Rose and our "little grandson to be".
We love you and miss you. Give Erick a hug from me.

Happy Anniversary...Hugs and love to you and Erick.

Ronnie, Thinking of you today on what would have been our 33rd Wedding Anniversary and thanking God for the love and life we shared.

11 years tomorrow, my heart remembers you everyday. After all these years it still seems unreal. Life has certainly changed but my love and cherished memories remain. Hugs and love to you and Erick, you both are so missed!!

5/8/2010 - 5/8/2020
Ten years Ronnie since your passing. So much has changed but my love and missing you remains. Give Erick a hug from me.

Wow (9) years ago this morning, without even knowing what was going to happen, we said our final goodbye here on earth. You have never in all these years been away from me, for you are with me always, you reside permanently in my heart Ronnie. Thank you for all the gifts of life and love and teaching me that goodbyes are only temporary. Hugs and love to you and Erick. Please hug him for me.
Love Me.....

Ronnie,
7 years today...I will always remember you and the life and love we shared, for your love is forever etched in my heart and soul. Please give Erick a hug for me. I miss you both.

Thinking of you today and always Ronnie. Happy 29th Anniversary. I love you and miss you. Hugs and all my love to you and Erick!!

Ronnie - I know you and mom have been reunited. Please give her a hug from me and the kids. It's another rough
time for us and we need our angels working overtime okay?
While you're at it give Erick, Michael and Baba a hug too.
We miss you all and we love you!!

Happy Anniversary Ronnie, today would have been our 28th. You maybe gone from me physically, but you will always be a part of who I am. My heart will always remember you and the life we shared. I miss you and Erick so much. Please give him a hug from me.

Happy Valentines Day Ronnie. You will forever be my everlasting lifetime Valentine. I love you. Give our Eruck a hug from me.

Thinking of you today on what would have been our 27th wedding anniversary. I miss you Ronnie with all my heart and I so cherish what we shared. Thank you for loving me, all of me. I love you....Please give Erick a hug from me.

You've held my hand
You've held my heart
We shared our lives for many years
I'll cherish our memories
and miss you dearly my wonderful husband

Ronnie,
Thinking of you and how much you would love our little KayLee. She will grow up knowing who you are and what you mean to all of us. I miss you!! Please give Erick a hug from me. My love always!

Well Ronnie, in just a few days escrow will close on our home. I know when I drive away on Saturday afternoon its going to be hard. Thank you for making our home a priority, a place where we always felt safe and secure. Though I'm leaving our home, I'm taking you, Erick and all our memories with me. I love you both and miss you guys like crazy...

It's hard to fathom today marks year four. I could never imagine being able to get here. I have spent the years since Erick's death and then yours sifting through the chaos, rubble, darkness, and the pain of loss. This last year was different for me, I started the year being able to see the light of life and love on the other side. My goods days began to out number my bad, my sadness confined to mainly moments not days, weeks and months. I'm wrapping up year four with changes that I never thought could, would or even wanted in my life again. I've have finally experienced a happiness that I haven't had since Erick's death. There have been many, many changes Ronnie. I've decided to sell the home we shared, not a decision I made easily I assure you. There's still lots for the kids and I to work through, and I know it will be an emotional time for us. It was shared with me "your home is only a shell…your memories keep a home intact." One thing for sure we have an abundance of memories to carry us through. Kay Wilson-Bolton, the chaplain who responded to our home the day Erick passed and was instrumental in helping us find our little church, is the Realtor who will assist me in the selling of our home. I came about finding her through a site that was shared with me as a source to locate top realtors in your area. When her picture and name came up I knew she was the one for us. A co-incidence, NOT, orchestrated by the man above, absolutely. I was speaking with Heather about the selling of the home and when I told her about Kay, she said mom "I knew the moment you mentioned her name, that Dad was letting you know its time, it's okay" He liked Kay so much, it's just an affirmation that she is the one that was meant to be there helping you through this too."

I remember writing to you at tyear three that I loved us, our marriage and all we meant to each other and that I felt I wanted it ALL again and now as I close out this last year - someone obviously was listening and knew the deepest desires of my heart, even better than I did. I'm not sure if you had a hand in it or not, but I do know you are aware and I have your approval - One of my biggest changes this year is I've been blessed to have found Gerard and love again!

It's different, yet familiar and as tender and caring as we were and he treats me wonderfully too Ronnie. If you did have a hand in it, Thank you! And thank you for all we shared, for all the years of unconditional love and for the life we had together. I will always cherish and carry with me what we had and meant to each other and most of all the lessons of loving someone completely, unconditionally and faithfully until death we do part and beyond. Give Erick a hug and kiss from me - and remember always - I love you both!!!

3/12/1988 – 3/12/2014

Remembering the big and small events shared with you, the tearful times along the way, the joys that can't be measured. All the memories of you that time and circumstance will never take away.

Happy Anniversary Ronnie – Hugs and Kisses to you and Erick both, Love always,

8/2/53 – 8/2/2013

Happy Birthday Ronnie –
Thinking of you today and how you would “not be happy” with this milestone birthday, so now you'll forever be 56 years old.

I found this the other day and it really spoke to me. My grief journey has been hard, yet I have learned so much about forever love, life, death and myself. I've learned how truly those we love and lose don't ever go away.
I'll always love what we had together and you'll always be a part of me. Today eat cake, laugh and know you are loved.. Give Erick a hug and kiss from me!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Wounds of the spirit... are most gently soothed and made whole by the passing years.
Under the old scars flows again the calm, healthful tide of life....
Under a great loss the heart impetuously cries that it can never be happy again, and perhaps in its desperation says that it wishes never to be comforted.
But though angels do not fly down to open the grave and restore the lost,
the days and months come as angels with healing in their wings.
Under their touch aching regret passes into tender memory;
Into hands that were empty new joys are softly pressed;
And the heart, that was like the trees stripped of its leaves and beaten by winter's tempests, is clothed again with the green of spring.”
~George S. Merriam
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i miss you ron, i think about you often and how much you loved my sister. you will be FOREVER missed

5/8/2010 – 5/8/2013
Roland N.Crossley Jr. – My Ronnie, it's the (3) year anniversary of your passing. Sometime today I'll take Rincon and go to the bench, I want to sit in the sunshine and be lost in my thoughts of you. Later the kids and I will have dinner, I'm thinking Aloha's, – the last place we all shared dinner together. This has been quite the journey Ronnie. I'm still learning how to be whole when half of me is gone. The positive is I'm finally having more good days than bad and I can look back on these last (3) years with pride, knowing I've faced each day with determination, patience with myself and a hope for a better tomorrow.
I want to share with you three things that I've learned and that I'm still learning –
1. Be Careful – Choose Your Words Carefully – Live Life with No Regrets:
Of all the things we were together, the love and respect we had for each other is what I'm most proud of and thankful for. Though not perfect, we restrained ourselves from lashing out and hurting each other with our words. We communicated how we felt both good and bad, but we did it in such a healthy manner. I'm comforted at the end of the day that nothing was left unsaid and proud that we loved unconditionally and without regret.
2. Find your “breath” in each day
Take it one day at a time, live in the moment, and find at least (1) thing each day that you can do to make someone smile or laugh. Show compassion to everyone, even if it's a beloved pet. When all else has failed you, catch a sunrise or a sunset, marvel in their beauty and uniqueness. Take it all in and remember to breath – just keep breathing
3. It's Okay to Want More -
It's just like the commercial says, “When you really like something a lot, you want more, you just want more.” I wanted more time together with you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, just like you were able to with me. That I didn't get. We taught each other what it meant to be a part of a team, to have that special someone who knows you for who you are and loves you anyway. I've struggled with “I'll never love again,” to “I'll not say that as I don't know what God has in store for me and I don't want to close doors on my future” to “I think I want it again.” And I feel now if I'm able to ever find love again, that Ronnie is actually a tribute to us, because what we had was wonderful, it was grand and because of that, my heart wants more, I just simply want more…I'm not sure what the “more” looks like but maybe someday it'll present it's self and I'll know.

Thank you Ronnie for all we had together and for loving me each day as though there was no tomorrow – I love you, give Erick a hug and kiss from me…
Your Everlasting Lifetime wife –

3-12-1988 to 3-12-2013

My Sweet Ronnie,

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary. My heart is heavy remembering the plans we discussed in anticipating this milestone together. Our dream vacation that isn't to be. So what I do cling to for comfort is that our 22 year journey as husband and wife has filled me with more than words can ever express. You were the epitome of what a husband is meant to be and I will forever love you for loving me the way in which you did.

Who could have guessed
When we began married life
How entwined we'd become
as husband and wife.
And still after 25 years
"I Love You!" My love for you continues to grow in
many new and different ways.
We shared a special happiness
Life gives to very few!!

Happy Anniversary Ronnie!!
I love you! As always, give Erick a hug from me….

Your Everlasting lifetime wife,

God i love your beautiful face baby..and that smile, it just melts my heart. Forever yours.....

Tomrrow's Valentine's Day and I'm finding myself feeling lots of anger Ronnie. You're not here, I have no Valentine and I'm just mad, sad and lonely. I didn't ask for this. Dang it baby, I miss what we had so much. I miss you!!!

Oh goodness Ronnie..so many life happenings going on and with them so many emotional triggers for me. A presidential election without being able to discuss/debate with you, our friends losing a daughter, only 25 years old, beautiful, strong, outgoing just like Erick, a young man like you having a massive heart attack, but surviving, going to Disneyland right before my 55th birthday, remembering spending my 50th there with you, Heather, Chase and Connor. It was one of the hardest times for you and I, yet probably one of the most healing..amongst all our pain, we emerged through it stronger than ever. And then another birthday without you. It just hurts. And then today, 27 years ago we went on our first date and my life was forever changed. Thank you Ronnie for taking that leap of faith and reaching out to that crazy girl with (2) beautiful children. You will forever be my hero. I love you and miss you deeply!!

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY RON"



WE MISS YOU, JANICE AND CODY

Today is your birthday Ronnie - Hope you're celebrating just the way you like it, low-key, with family and a good meal. Goodness there's a lot of family there for you to celebrate with. The kids and I are having dinner downtown tonight in you honor of course. I love you honey and I miss you, I miss us. Thank you for the sweet, sweet memories. Hugs and kisses to you and Erick!!
Your everlasting lifetime wife!!

Ronnie,
Coming to this site always brings on the tears. It's like being slapped with the reality of what once was is really gone. That reality hurts me deeply. I found a plaque with the saying : "I can't promise that I'll be here for the rest of your life...
But I can promise, that I'll LOVE you for the rest of mine...” Similar to what you always told me. I miss you like crazy Ronnie! Happy Father's Day! Give Erick a hug and tell him I love him and you two enjoy the day together.
I Love you, your everlasting lifetime wife!

My Beloved Ronnie,

Valentine's Days is tomorrow. Where do I put all the love I have for you? It hasn't disappeared, yet I still want for what was, but can never be again.

I've re-read the numerous cards we shared with each other, with our children and the children with us and one thing I am so proud of is the love we all conveyed to each other within those cards. These “cards of love,” are now wonderful gifts that will help to carry us through our journeys.

This Valentine's Day I want to share with you something I gave you years ago, I changed the card to meet today's circumstance, but the words still ring true.

I Loved Our Life - I Love You
To sunny even rainy times,
both stay at home and traveling times
To video and popcorn times,
out on the town or quiet times.
I'm home from work, so KISS me times.
To cuddle up and hugging times,
Whatever it was, we did it fine
As long as I was with YOU!!
Happy Valentine's Day Ronnie – I miss you so much!!

Your Everlasting Lifetime Wife,

Aug 2, 1953 - Aug 2, 2011
My Sweet Ronnie-
Today's your birthday. Chase, Connor, Cody and I flew yesterday to Bob and Susan's home in Grants Pass, OR. We'll be here for the week. I wanted to plan something special for us in honor of your birthday, something that I know you would have enjoyed doing so we are going to take the Rogue River Hellgate Jetboat Dinner Excursion. Once we are done with the fist leg, we'll be having dinner at the OK Corral Lodge before heading back.
Oh Ronnie I miss you so much I would give anything to have you physically here celebrating with us. I love you baby. Please give Erick a hug from me and know we are thinking of you today and always.. Happy Birthday Baby.
Your Everlasting Lifetime wife,

When we married, I saw you as perfect,
The ideal husband and more;
I thought I knew all about you,
All the things to love and adore.
But watching you as a father,
brought out new qualities to treasure.
You enriched all our lives in fresh ways;
As a dad, you brought so much pleasure.
Our children are forever blessed
To have had a father like you,
And I love you more than ever,
You are the best man I've ever known

Happy Father's Day Ronnie, I love you and miss you. Please enjoy your day with Erick.

Your Everylasting Lifetime Wife

What a beautiful memorial for such a loved husband. I always say you had lasting love, not everyone gets that chance in life, doesn't make it easier but it sure is nice to know that love didn't pass either one of you by. Love you with all my heart Becky....Love Velma

My dearest Ronnie,
The "WHY" of it all only God knows and I need to quit torturing myself by actively searching for the meaning / of it all and just keep my faith that in time God will reveal it to me.

I loved you and Erick so much, losing you both is the most pain I've ever experienced. We had so many more plans and dreams for our future and it's so hard to be in the moment without you and even harder to look to the future. Oh my beloved Ronnie, I hope you knew just how much you meant to me and to us. You truly were a gift to my life and the lives of our children.

Love Lives On
Because we loved, there will always be tears.
Because we laughed, there will always be memories.
Because you lived, there will always be joy.
I promise to take it one day at a time
and let the love we shared carry me through.

Until we are reunited once again, We will miss and love you always.

Your Everlasting Lifetime Wife,

Oh Ronnie, in just a few short weeks we'll be reaching the 1 year milestone of your passing. if I could make this all go away I would, if I could turn back time I would. If there was anything I could do to bring you back to me, to us I would. I just miss you so much honey and I love you more!!

Your Everlasting Lifetime Wife..

Oh Ronnie,

I'm really sad today, the tears just seem to keep flowing. I miss you / us so much. I just don't understand the "why" of it all and I know I never will. For the most part I do lean on God and my faith but there are times like today when the pain just washes over me and I'm a mess. You always had a way of making me feel safe and secure Ronnie and I don't have that anymore. I wish you were here with me. I love you so much and I miss you baby.
Your Everlasting Liftime Wife,

Ronnie, Today would have been our 23rd wedding anniversary. My thoughts are of you and all the past anniversaries we celebrated.

There are so many layers to my grief Ronnie. There's even a clinical term for it "Complicated Grief." Each day is its own journey, some definately harder than others, but each day is spent with the realization that you are no longer here with me and that just makes me sad Ronnie.

Looking back brings me such sweet memories and I am so thankful for our time together, we were awesome and I'm so glad that we both knew what we had was special. We lit up each other's lives and that's why this journey is so hard, I feel as though I am 1/2 of a whole, trying to find myself all over again.

Thank you Ronnie for loving me all these years, for the love you gave our children and your devotion to our family. I miss you like crazy baby!! Happy Anniversary! Please give Erick a hug from me and tell him I love him.

Your Everlasting Lifetime Wife.. XXOO

A Valentine's Day Message To My Dearest Ronnie:

This is our first Valentine’s Day apart and although your not here with me,
You ARE deep within my heart.

Your soft brown eyes, your gentle words, your strong hugs are all a part of what I’ve lost,
But your unconditional love is truly my greatest loss.

Your gentle ways guide me through each day, helping me to find my way,
And as I journey on through this life,
My greatest pleasure was being your wife.

I love you more than words can express
And on this day, know my heart is with you and you are my one and only Valentine.

I love you Ronnie!! Please give Erick a hug from me.

Your everlasting lifetime wife,

Oh Ronnie, this is so hard. Our first Christmas without you. A million times during each day I wish I could hear your voice, feel the softness of your sweet cheeks, rest my head against your chest and feel your arms holding me close. Christmas morning is in just a few hours and the anxiety of waking without you tears at my heart. I loved our Christmas mornings together. Thank you for always making them special for me. I’m okay, if I just picture you and Erick celebrating together. Oh how I love you both so much. One day, we’ll be together again and what a celebration that will be. The plans are to spend Christmas morning at Heather and Corey’s opening gifts, having breakfast, then catch a movie and if it all works out okay Tom will be making dinner for us. God how you are missed Ronnie, not just by me but by all of us!! I got you a card this year, it reads:

My Husband,
Giving you my heart
was one of the best things
I ever did.

Having a happy marriage
meant, we laughed, more that we cried,
celebrated more than we worried,
and loved each other through everything.

Most of all, it meant we had a lot
to be proud of, and I want you to know
how much our love and our life means to me.

I Love you Ronnie and I miss you immensely.
Your Everlasting, Lifetime wife

5/8/10 - 12/8/10

My Sweet Ronnie,

Today is 7 months since your passing. We just got through Thanksgiving and now Christmas is fast approaching. Thanksgiving morning was horrendous for me. I just didn’t want to face going into the kitchen with out you beside me. I was bawling as I prepared the darn Turkey, remembering every Thanksgiving that we shared preparing our meal side by side. The pain that morning was so deep Ronnie. I felt as though I was crazy. It’s difficult being thrown back on the roller-coaster of emotions that comes with losing someone you love so much. Once the day got moving along, I felt better. The highlight for me though was when Chase asked me if I had made “dad’s clam dip?” When I said no, he said we need to have dad’s clam dip. I told him I didn’t have all the ingredients and so he went to the store, purchased what we didn’t have and came home and made the dip. It was exactly as you always made it. It just warmed my heart and lifted my spirits. It brought you right to life within the moment. I told him later how much that meant to me and how good he had made me feel.

And now Christmas is next. I’m contemplating the outdoor lights. I don’t know whether to have them put up or not. My first thought was not too, as no one is going to be able to do the job like you, but without lights the house looks so dark and dreary and I’m not sure I want that either. Honestly I don’t know what to do about the lights, so for now I’ve done nothing. I also couldn’t bare going to get a Christmas tree without you, so I did what you had wanted to do for awhile and I ordered one off QVC. It’s a huge 9 foot Bethlehem lighted tree. I remember the first Christmas after Erick’s passing, I wasn’t sure about decorating the tree that year, and then when I did, it actually made me feel joy. Well, that’s what’s happened this year with the “new” tree. Having Connor here and so excited to decorate it has brought me joy. We’ve had to use the ladder and going up and down with Connor on that ladder and seeing him express such excitement has been really joyful for me. In fact, having all the kids involved has been special. Chase helped me put the tree together and in place, than Heather helped with some of the decorations. Chase and I put on 6 dozen glass icicles and last night he climbed the ladder one last time to put the Angel tree topper in place. I have such sweet memories of you and me every year standing back and marveling how we’ve once again been able to pick out and decorate the tree better than the year before. Well I know you and Erick both are shaking your heads in amazement with just how awesome this years’ tree is. It’s my tribute to you Ronnie; you always made sure I enjoyed the twinkling beauty of Christmas. I guess there in lies the answer to the outdoor light dilemma; I need the lights to complete the twinkling of Christmas. Oh Ronnie, this is truly hard I so miss you each and every moment of everyday and then there’s my Erick with whom the pain of losing is still with me as well. I keep telling God, there’s got to be something good that comes out of this pain, to please give me the strength and the courage to find it. I love and miss you and Erick so much and I want for nothing more than to be able to hug you both. Please give Erick my love.

Your Everlasting lifetime wife,

Hey baby, Chase and I are in Post Falls spending time with Nate, Sarah and Avery. My thoughts run back to when you and I were here together after Gary's wedding in Seattle. What a great road trip we took. Each day seems to unfold memories of us and the live and love we shared and just what a great loss this truly is. I have never loved nor been loved like the love we shared together and it's so sad knowing I have to wait a lifetime to be reunited with my one and only, Ronnie. Tomorrow we're going out to Coeurd "Alene lake to try and see the Bald Eagle migration that takes place each year at this time. I'd like to take the gang for a nice meal somewhere along the lake afterwards. Ronnie remember to give Erick my love and hugs to both of you.

Always, Your Everlasting Lifetime Wife

Ronnie,

Stay by me baby, I need you more than ever. Some would say I'm doing okay, I feel okay at times and then others I know my mind is racing and I need to stay in the moment, I can't let my self think too far ahead. I just want to take care of everyone and everything now. I have to remember my own words "It's called a Lifetime!" I know I'm blessed and in a better position as most, for I know with certaintly that I will be reunited with you and Erick and all my lost family and friends one day. Until then, I have lots to do here on earth and I'm leaning on God to get me through.

Ronnie, this is really tough. I miss you tremendously and I long for you to hold me and tell me everthings going to be okay, that I'm okay and that you love me. Please give Erick a hug and let him know I love him that I miss you both.

Your Everlasting Lifetime wife.

Ronnie, Today's Chases's 21st birthday. We're celebrating downtown with the family at Sushi Marina. Maybe you and Erick can watch over us and ensure he has a good time. I miss you honey, I really miss you. Thank you for the gift of our son. Give Erick a hug and remember my everlasting love for you both.

Ronnie,

Today marks 4 months since your passing. A short period of time, yet its a long time to go without your loved one.

Going through this journey is so complex. I can't think of my loss of you without thinking of Erick and the reality of loosing you both is extremely painful and hard to grasp at times. I'll never understand the why of it all, I just hope in time I'll learn to be able to use this pain to comfort others and honor you both.

"You both brought such a special meaning to my life,
You’ve helped me to grow and to realize
the fullness and the beauty in life.
It was such an honor to be your mother and wife.

Then suddenly without warning you both were gone,
and my life of gladness turned to utter chaos and sadness.
My grief at times wears me down, I shed so many tears, recalling our love and devotion throughout the years.

I pray for strength to do things the same.
to fill the days in useful ways, to comfort,
to cheer and have no more empty days.

While Heaven and Earth now divides us
and the distance is so great,
I find comfort in knowing you two are together.

I’ll live the rest of my life honoring you both,
Waiting for our beautiful Reunion Day"

My beloved Ronnie and Erick, Watch over the family.
I love you and I miss you both.

Your Everlasting Lifetime wife and mother!

My Sweet Ronnie,

Your spiritual presence never leaves me but god how I miss you being with me here physically. This new type of relationship sucks at times.

I can not express enough how thankful I am that God brought us together and we shared the deep love and respect for each other, that others only dream about.

A love so amazing and so divine. You are my soulmate Ronnie, my life, my all. It's this love that I cling to as I start and finish each day. Knowing one day you and I will be reunited once again and I'll get all those hugs that I've been missing.

Please give Erick a hug and kiss from me, tell him I love him and miss him.

You two be good, be careful and have fun.

Loving you always,

Your Everlasting Lifteime Wife!

Ronnie,

Your coming to me in such a loving way last night has brought a peace to my heart today. Hearing the "I love you" words from you has lifted me. There are no words that can describe the love we shared with each other and I will hold onto that for the rest of my life. I love you so much Ronnie and I miss you more. Please give Erick a hug for me.
Your Everlasting Lifetime wife,

Happy Birthday Ron! Its late but you know me!... We sure miss you.
Janice&Cody
and
Charlie

Hey Ronnie HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

What an awesome gift we received this morning with the Doves.. I thank you and I thank God for it's these things that give me hope and comforts my heart.

Your birthday card reads:

My Husband, MY FOREVER LOVE

"Love is forever
between two hearts
that share it...
It is as eternal
as the waves
that break upon
the shore."

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
and the way that we touched.
I love your warm smile
and your kind sharing ways,
The joy that you brought
to my life each and every day-
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
with all of my heart.

Happy Birthday honey.

I love you Ronnie and as always I miss you and Erick so much. Please enjoy your day with our son.

Your Everlasting Lifetime Wife..

Ronnie,

I don't even know what to say to you that you don't already know. I struggle coming to this site, as I wonder if this is really helping me or torturing me. It's so hard to believe that you are truly gone. I look at your pictures and it's just surreal.

This last week has definitely been one of my hardest. All the milestones that are coming have caused me much anxiety and I've experienced a bit of a setback in my grief. The 3 month marker, your birthday tomorrow and then the 3rd anniversary of Erick's death are a lot to handle emotionally.

I've felt for awhile that I've got to work through my dread of traveling the 101 Freeway to Moorpark Road and seeing the Los Robles Golf course.

I made that trip by myself Saturday, at the approximate time that you would have been getting to the car to put your clubs away. To say the least it was extremely emotional for me. I've not released so much grief and pain as I did Saturday. With our song blaring from the stereo in my car I walked and dropped red roses all over the area in the parking lot where I found you. Every rose dropped signified my deep love for you and the pain your death has brought me. As hard as that trip was I'm proud that I accomplished it, it was painful yet healing.

Tomorrow is your birthday honey and the family is going to honor you the way you would want, low key just letting the day unfold naturally and without fuss, but with a good meal thrown in there somewhere.

I love you Ronnie, please give Erick a hug for me. I miss you both.

Hey Ronnie, it's Saturday night the kids are all out and I'm missing you like crazy. I'm struggling with working through my sadness. Every moment of everyday is a reminder that I'm without you.
So many unexpected events have taken place that have caused me to have to make decisions that we would have made together and making them without you is heartbreaking, a cruel reality of my life now. I feel very alone Ronnie, we were life partners with so much more love and life to experience together. I miss you baby!!

Hey Dad,

Im sorry it has taken me so long to write you I just cant ever seem to get out what I want to say in the way I want to say it. Even now it feels like I cant get it right. Tomorrow is my Bridal Shower which brings me mixed emotions, Im looking forward to being with friends and family and yet its another reminder to me of the wedding. I cant think of that day and the thought of you not walking me down the aisle without fighting back tears. Much like mom I have my ups and downs, I havent delt with them in the best ways sometimes I make stupid decesions which I WILL NOT do again and other times I do ok. I still cry to every song that makes me think of you, I turn my head when I pass Moorpark Rd. and find myself watching girls with their dads wishing I could go back in time and be like that again.
Dad thank you I could not have asked for a better dad then you I know I was difficult at times and didnt always show you how much I love you or how much I respect you. It was and is an honor to be your daughter. I wish I could have just one more minute with you just to tell you I love you and give you a big hug. I miss you dad so much this hurt I feel is like no other. I miss Erick and love him but losing you is so much different. This pain is an ever lasting breath taking kind of pain. One I know I will carry with me forever but my love for you is even stronger. I know you are with us I just wish I could see you. I love you dad!

Please give Erick a hug for me I miss you both. Hope you guys are watching over me as mom gives me away and I marry Corey.

Love you,
Heather

Ronnie, yesterday was the mark of 2 months. I fought the impulse to make the drive to Los Robles, to walk through the sequenece of that day. I know I will need to do it one day, but yesterday wasn't the day, I was way too emotional. I've avoided that drive and with my impending return to work I know I need to do it before I go back.

The 2 month mark and the fact that today is July 4th has me pretty emotional right now. I'm not going to go to Tom and Karen's this year. It's too hard to go without you. I have such vivid memories of the two of us sitting snuggled closely together, holding hands with my head on your shoulder, watching the fireworks in "our perfect spot." We found our "perfect spot" away from the "craziness" the first July 4th after Erick's passing and we spent each subsequent July 4th watching fireworks from "our spot." It's just too hard to go this year so I let Karen know I wasn't making it out there and she understood completely.

My plans are to go to church this morning and then Jeri, Debbie, Heather, Corey, Connor and I will walk the street fair downtown together. We may stop by Tom's for some Braut and Kraut afterwards. Fireworks are important to connor so we plan to go watch the college fireworks from Steve and Cindy's backyard with the group.

My dream last night was sweet. You were away on business of some sort and we hadn't talked on the phone for awhile. I was getting sad and concerned, when all of a sudden you were next to me. We cupped each others faces in our hands and kissed such a tender, heartfelt kiss that made us both start to cry. As you held me close I woke up and I've been crying pretty much all morning, just missing everything about you. I believe I had this dream because God knew I was needing you near me. Although I cry, I am comforted.

As you and Erick celebrate the 4th together this year, please know my heart and thoughts are with you both. I love you and Erick with all my heart and I miss you both terribly.

Honey,
I come to this obituary site numerous times throughout the day and it still seems so unreal that you are gone from me physically. I can't describe the depths of loss I feel without you next to me Ronnie. I don't even know what I'm running on right now, only that I know I have to get up each morning and put one foot in front of the other and keep myself moving forward, there's so much to do and many many decisions to make and it's so painful to have to do all this without you. I miss you so much Ronnie, my heart is truly broken. What I wouldn't give to have you back with me, with us. Life is forever changed.

Ronnie,

How could life have separated us?
I think of you,
And I miss you.

I think of your warm and inviting smile, of the laughter that now brings me tears
And I miss you.

I think of your arms around me, holding me near.
And I miss you.

I think of you waving good bye as you drove out of my sight
And I miss you.

I think of life we shared, the dreams we had
And I miss you

I think of life without you and I feel so very alone.
And I MISS YOU!!!

Becky~
As I was placing my dad's memorial, wishing him Happy Father's Day, I stumbled upon Ron's obit. I can only say that i have thought of you more than you'll know since jimmy contacted me about your son... re playing the beautiful video in tears. again, my thoughts will be with you. If only there were words i could say or something to do to make it better. Ron was always a kind, gentle soul and i admired him very much. i had no doubt that you were both truly blessed with each other. I am so very sorry becky...

Cathy Doggrell Johnston

HAPPY FATHERS DAY RON!
WE SURE MISS YOU!
I COULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN A BETTER BROTHER INLAW AND UNCLE.
WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU,
JANICE&CODY

Happy Father’s Day Ronnie! Your first spent with Erick in 3 years and the family’s first without you here. The family is going to Santa Barbara today and take a Segway tour of old town and the beach. Afterwards we’ll have an early dinner.

I know we planned doing the Segways for Chase’s 21st birthday, but we felt this was the perfect way for the family to honor you today. We love you Ronnie and we ALL miss you.

Your card this year reads:

MY HUSBAND
Is a man of character
Who understands commitment
And does more than his share
To make his family comfortable,
Safe and secure.
I adore him….

MY PARTNER
Is a man who is patient,
Optimistic, caring and wise.
His sense of humor and support
Hold me up when I can’t
Do it myself.
I’m grateful for him…

MY FRIEND
Is the only man with whom
I can share my deepest secrets
And know they’ll be safe.
Time with him is always good.
I cherish him,

You are all of those things and more to me.
I’m so thankful you came into my world,
For if you hadn’t, I’m sure
I never would have known the kind of happiness
You’ve brought into my life.

I LOVE YOU RONNIE!!

Ronnie, I know I'm not suppose to question it, but it's hard not to question why? We've been through so much together, I don't understand why now we would be separated. I can only keep my self busy/distracted for so long, and then the grief of losing you and missing you takes over. It just seems so unfair to lose another person with whom I loved with all my heart.

You're the one who holds my heart gently, completely, safely, sweetly.

You're the one who'll hold my heart forever, and a day.

I love you Ronnie..XXXX00000

Hello Becky and Family,

First of all, I apologize for taking so long to write to you. I have no excuse for it.

I don't think that we have ever met but I went to ACHS with Ron and saw him a few times when we were in our 20's. I was sad to read that he passed away.

Ron and I were on the football team in High School and we both played the same positions.

Even though I haven't seen him in 30 years please know that I still have good memories of your husband and father. He was a really good guy.

My best to you and your family during this difficult time.

Sincerely,

Hey baby its me. Today was a hard day, lots of ups and downs, mostly downs. I've been constantly aware that today marks a month since the morning you left for the golf tournament and never came back home.

Lots of anxiety sets in if I think too far ahead. I'm trying to stay in the moment and handle what I can today and not to be anxious for tomorrow. I keep going to Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow: for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." And Psalms 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are curshed in spirit."

This really hurts Ronnie, I miss you so much I wanted to be with you forever, to continue to make dreams with you and to fulfill the ones we had made. And now I'm without you here with me and its so overwhelming at times. I/we need my/our two angels more than ever, please watch over us.
I love you baby!! XXXOOO

Ronnie, this morning right before I woke up you came to me. It's the first time and even though it was for a brief moment it comforts me. I was able to tell you I love you so much. I saw your eyes swelling with tears and I said, "this really sucks", as you nodded your head in agreement you left. I know you were planning on coming home to us. Please continue to come to me, I need your help and guidance. Give Erick a hug from me. I miss you both so much. XXXOOO!!

Becky, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I was looking at your Facebook page and was just shocked. I remember Ron from our Operator days together. You two were so cute together. I will be praying for you Becky.

Becky my thoughts are with you. I am praying for you and your family.

Hey Ronnie it’s me. The family’s sleeping. I seem to be able to fall asleep, staying asleep is my challenge. I wake up numerous times. Sometimes I can fall back to sleep other times I have to get up for awhile and then go back to sleep. Going to bed at night, awakening in the mornings and the lulls in each day are the hardest for me. I took Chase for a general physical yesterday. His physical went fine, they also did an EKG and that also came out fine too. We should get the results from his blood work in a couple days. He was so nervous having to have the blood drawn, the lab tech told him because he was so tense, it made the blood come out faster. I swear in less than a minute he was in and out of there. It makes me feel better to know physically he’s good, now we all will work on our broken hearts and grief journeys. Celebrating Erick’s birthday this year, we certainly felt your absence from within the family, but we knew you two were celebrating together and that did help. We did our annual flower release at Erick’s bench on the pier, this time in both your honors and then went and had a nice lunch. I’m going to find out from the city if we can have a plaque in your memory installed at the bench as well. I’ve not seen two plaques on any one bench, but maybe they can put one on a different slat. We’ll see.

I’ve re-read a lot of the cards you’ve given me over the years and last years birthday card was special then but is so profound to me now. It read:

My Wife, My Partner, My Love

The Best Love is a Lifelong Love
That sweetens the joys, softens the hurts
And strengthens two hearts as it grows.

We’ve been together a long time now,
We’ve laughed and cried and seen
Each other through our best and worst and
Everything in between.

And today when I look at you, I feel even
More love that I’ve ever felt before.
We have a history together full of
Shared memories that keep us close.

You are so much a part of me and a part
Of my happiness that it’s impossible to
Imagine what life would have been like
Without you.

You are my partner and my love, and I
Ask nothing more than to spend all the
Rest of my life with you.

I love you more each day, Happy Birthday, Ronnie

These words really do describe us and when I read them the first time after your passing they reminded me why I so very much love you, you always made me feel loved and awed by your ability to choose just the right card for the right time moment in time.

Reading them again tonight, I say to you Ronnie, “ You are such a part of me and a part of my happiness and having to live my life without you is so very sad, you are my one and only true love and I WANTED TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU TOO!” I love and miss you Boobala. XXXOOO’s

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

Becky: I think of you everyday and I'm so sorry for the pain I know you must endure. I just want you to know that our love and prayers are with you and we miss you. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts; they have truly touched me. Please keep the faith and remember that you are loved.

Ronnie, I feel numb, empty and afraid, I'm trying to be strong but the days and weeks are slipping away. Tomorrow is our son's birthday, please give him a hug from me. I miss you both so much. Oh please God take this pain from me. I love you boobala.

hey ron, janice and me "pruned" your roses today, don't know if you would approve, but i KNOW you would appreciate it! you are loved more and missed more, everyday!

Becky and family,

It was such an emotional weekend. I was so glad that Dan, Tony and I could bring some happiness to such a sad occasion. I spent a lot of time during the past week wishing I had said more about how much Ron (and you) have meant to me over the years. I sometimes get very sad that I moved so far away, but I am so glad that over the past few years I have been able to visit every few months and stay close to you and Ron.

Ron and I shared so many memories, and I have lately gone from smiling and laughing over some of the fun times we had, to breaking down and crying over the fact that I won't get to see him again. But please know that I will always be there for you and your family, and I hope to continue to visit when I come to California.

Thank you again for including me in the celebration. I'm attaching a picture of the band.

Love always,

Lee Berzman

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

Absolutely beautiful poem...wow.

I hope you know my friend, how often I (and a BUNCH of others) think and pray for you and your family...A day hasn't gone by since we got the news that I haven't stopped, whispered a prayer, and kept you and the family in my heart. If I am ever lucky enough to find the love you so obviously and rightly shared with Ronnie, I will count myself unlimitedly blessed. And to have strength such as you...wow...No words for that one. Stay strong, keep on praying, and KNOW that you and the family have taken residence in many, many hearts...Forever my friend, that's the only way I know to be. God Bless You. Terry

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in your time of grief. Even though I didn't know Ron he seemed like a wonderful Man, Husband, Father and Friend. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Ronnie,
I can't even find the words to describe what I'm feeling. I found this awhile back and I'm not sure why but I saved it.

I Would Have Loved You Anyway

If I’d have known the way that this would end,
If I’d have read the last page first,
If I’d have known how this would hurt,
I would have loved you anyway.

I’d do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break,
I would have loved you anyway.

It’s bittersweet to look back now,
At memories withered on a vine.
Just to hold you close to me
For a moment in time,
I would have loved you anyway.

I’d do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break
I would have loved you anyway.

Even if I’d seen it coming,
You’d still have seen me running
Straight into your arms!
I would have loved you anyway.

I’d do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break
I would have loved you anyway.
"author unknown"

I love you boobala, always have, always will. Your everlasting, lifetime wife. Hugs and kisses,

Dear Becky & Family
My prayers have been with you since I heard the shocking news. I remember Ron's great smile and laugh. A quiet man with inner strength. He and Lee were very different but made a great balance for a super friendship.I can see them laughing together. Ron was always so sweet to my little girl Erin when I was a single mom. I'm so sorry for your loss. He and your son are at peace in Heaven and they will be in your hearts and memories for ever. May God Bless you and hold you in your time of grief. Love, Maura Moynihan (Berzman)

Ronnie, the Celebration of your life was amazing. There was standing room only honey. A true testament to the man you were and will always be. Pastor Carl told me afterwards that it inspired even him and many, many of our friends and family shared that this was the best celebration they've ever been to. I read a scripture yesterday morning about how "man plans thing in his mind, yet God directs the steps” well I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to do for your Celebration, but it definitely was directed by God.

We had invited everyone to the house later for a reception. Stevie-D arranged for a Tri-tip BBQ feast in your honor. Tom Fish strung lights up over the backyard so we would have light, the same lights you two strung for my 40th birthday party. Ronnie, Corey has found solace working in the backyard just like you did after Erick. He's finished laying the bark that you started, some 60 bags of it. Rhonda purchased you a new windmill and Corey assembled it, It's like our old one and I remember when you were putting that one together , the directions were not helpful and you had to use that analytical mind of ours to figure our the solution yourself. Corey got stuck a couple times and he walked over to the old one to see how you had done it.

We had a dove release yesterday. 31 doves, for the 31 years we've known each other and the 31st of this month is Erick's birthday. In fact you and I were supposed to be on vacation this week, completing his website. I now understand why we never got it done. I will create a new website, 'The Eagle and the Dove" and it will for the both of you."

I'm going to church this morning with Jeri. A more of our friends approached me yesterday that they really felt comfortable in our little church and would like to come some time, so I've asked them to please do so, I'm going to need someone to sit with.

I am going to miss not having you sit next to me Ronnie, I always put my hand on your leg when we sat and you held my hand when we would stand. Thank you Ronnie for taking me to church, for never complaining because I know in the end you got as much out of it as I did and God really saved us after Erick's death. You are my rock Ronnie, my soul mate and it hurts me know that this is permanent, for the rest of my life I don't get to feel the touch of your hand on mine, your arm stretched across my back holding me. Oh Ronnie I love you boobala, please be safe, have fun and give Erick a hug for me. Kisses and hugs to you both.

Becky and Family,

We were thinking of you today it being Ron's Celebration of Life. We are keeping all of you in our thoughts and prayers..sorry we couldn't be there today.

Janet and Don Olson,Bakersfield

Becky and Crosley family.....

I was shocked and saddened to hear of Ron's unexpected passing. I can honestly say, I'll remember him as person that ALWAYS had that BIG smile on his face. He will truly be missed......

Ronnie, our plans are complete, today is the Celebration of your Life. I hope it makes you proud honey, it's made me proud to see it unfold and has really shown me what I already knew, we had an amazing love life togehter Ronnie. It just seems so unreal, I have been comforted by God you and Erick so much, yet my anxiety seems to keep me waiting for the bottom to drop out and suck me through. I will try my hardest to not let that happen Ron, I will lean on God for comfort, strength and direction and I will ask myself constantly "What would my Ronnie do?"

This one is different Ron, for I knew without a doubt that God was there with our son waiting for you, I knew this was not something you planned, you had planned to come home to me and the kids after the tournament. I am comforted that our hearts were so intuned with each that I knew something was wrong and I went looking for you. I found you in Nov, 16th 1985 and I was meant to find you May 8, 2010.

My dear Ronnie, I make so many mistakes with the kids and they need me more now than ever, please help me to know the right things to say to get us through this as healthy as possible. I really miss you, I love you and I really need you.

Becky,
I'm not sure if you remember me, but I wanted to send my sincere condolences to you and your family. I started out as a "Stenographer'" at the Rose Ave. Yard. That is where I met Ron. He was always so nice and polite. Working in the "Yard" was the best. I took a package in 2003 from Verizon.

Take care & God bless,
Mercy Ortiz-Aranda
[email protected]

Beck,Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.

Becky and Family,

Please accept our deepest sympathy to you for the loss of Ron. It was a profound shock when I read of Ron's passing.
Gabe and Lois Pesce

Becky:

Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss of Ron. My prayers are with you.
May GOD hold your hand through the rough times ahead.

GOD BLESS YOU!

Becky, My deepest sympathies to you and your family. May your cherished memories bring some comfort to you during this difficult time. God bless you.

Becky and Family,
Words cannot express the shock to learn of Ron's passing. His vigil on Friday night was a true testament to the man he was and how many lives he touched. When I think of the word "gentleman" Ron comes to mind. He was true gentleman in every sense of the word. His love for you and his family is the kind of love that everyone hopes to experience in their lifetime. I hope that you find comfort in all the prayers that are being said for you and your family during this difficult time.

With my deepest sympathies,

Becky and Family,

I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss of Ron. I pray that over time the wonderful, fun times,'You', your beautiful children,grandson Connor, family and friends shared with Ron will ease the pain of your loss.
Always A friend, Terry-Stangle-Smith