Valdemar Walter Gargul

Kære Ulla
Vi sender de varmeste hilener til jeres familie fra Danmark.
Gitte Lola

My Dad

One definition of strong is “having strength or power greater than average or expected”. My dad was strong. His strength started as a boy in Denmark being the youngest of six, living in a time when the Second World War was going on all around him and resources were limited. I remember him telling me stories of him as a boy making fun of the German soldiers and them chasing him and his friends down the streets. When my dad was a teenager he lived with his sisters as his mother had already died and his father was working in Poland. He learned independence pretty quickly as he had to work from a young age to support himself and his siblings. He went into the Air Force when he was 18, a mandatory service for boys of his age, where he learned to become even stronger. In his mid twenties he went on many adventures like traveling all around Europe on a motorcycle together with his good friend Michael. He met my mom at a friend’s party in Denmark, when she was 19 and he was 29, and he kissed her right there and then (even though she was already taken at the time). His love for her never died and he pursued her until she was only his. In 1966 he moved to Canada because his older brother Jan was here and he wanted a better life with more opportunities. He convinced my mom to come over the next year in 1967 and they got married Dec 9th of that year.

As they learned English together and adjusted to life in a new land, my parents dreams of having a family of their own started coming true when they adopted my brother Kevin in 1974. They moved up to Ryder Lake into a house that my dad built with his own hands and that was when his legacy started of being an amazing provider, a goal he accomplished as a father and a husband. He started working as a floor installer at Fraser Carpets and did this work with passion and pride until he was 72 years old, again another display of his strength. I came along in 1982 as a surprise to both my dad and my mom but also a joy, which I can see in his face in every picture of him with me as a child. From the start I was a daddy’s girl, as he made sure that the initials of my name matched his own. Growing up I can remember a dad that was hardworking, had a great laugh, wanted to give us everything that he didn’t when he was young and that loved his family. My brother inherited my dad’s skills of craftsmanship, being able to build and fix anything, this started as a young boy when my dad gave him his first toy chain saw and continued as he watched my dad build new pieces of furniture for the house, put in new floors and always had a new project on the go. What I got from my dad was not only his stubbornness but also his creativity and his love for photography. He loved discussing with me the new cameras coming out and looking at all the photos I had taken. Even Chris, my husband, had a strong bond with my dad and his passion for the newest and biggest toys in technology. My dad was one to always get the biggest and the best and he loved being able to talk to Chris about all the new gadgets and what they could do. He was a man of many skills and passions that no one can replace.

My dad grew up with only one brother Jan who he looked up to his whole life and from who he learned what it was to be a great father and husband. They were so much alike that I cannot go without mentioning my uncle because he had a great impact on who my dad was. They both loved gardens, building model ships (building anything for that matter), smoking pipes, watching the Canucks and being with their families. They both had a quiet demeanor and a strength that went deep. They both died of heart failure and now both of their lives have been celebrated in this very room. They loved being together and I am so thankful that my dad was able to share his life and family with his big brother in Canada. My dad also had many friends over the years, Canadian and Danish, that made my dad feel at home in Canada, gave him so much joy and camaraderie, and created so many good memories for him and us to keep. Many of my dad’s family and friends have gone before him and I can just imagine them all having a party up there in heaven like they used to in the good old days.

As my dad got older his health started getting worse. He had over 10 major surgeries in the last 15 years but he always bounced back stronger than ever. Even after having open-heart surgery he went back to work a couple of weeks later. Lately our family had been on a roller coaster not knowing if the next time he went into the hospital would be his last and the doctor had told him he was running on borrowed time these last few years. He was a stubborn man, it’s where I got it from, and he would not go until he knew there was no other hope. This last year and a half his strength was renewed, even after having a few mini-strokes and getting a pacemaker, he found joy and excitement in helping us move into my childhood home and being able to move into a new condo with my mom. He was excited to see all the renovations we were doing on the place and helped update all the furniture he had made to look more modern. I am so grateful that I can keep his handiwork and know that it was an integral piece of who my dad was. He has truly shown us over the years what it is to be strong, to endure and to fight against all odds. He used to say he was like a cat with nine lives because he kept coming back from what we thought was the end. He had told us that when he was to die he wanted it to be quick; he did not want us to have to bear the weight of taking care of him when there was no more left that he could give. His wish was granted on December 12 as he died by my mom’s side within half an hour of her getting to the hospital. There’s a sort of peace knowing that he did not have to suffer long and that he was able to say that he loved us one last time.

Some great memories with my dad were building a pool in our backyard and swimming with him on hot summer days. I became a fish because of him and love remembering him going for a dive into the pool after a long day at work. We also had a hot tub and I can remember on one winter night him and I rolling in the snow and then jumping back into the hot water. One of my earliest memories is going up to Christina Lake to visit my aunt and uncle and digging in the sand and swimming in the water that had scary seaweed in it. I can still remember holding his hand as we walked that beach one day when I was 2 years old. When my brother was little, him and my dad spent many days building kites and rockets that they would send into flight out in the field behind our house. They also built a huge train set that almost took up our whole basement and spent endless hours playing with that together. I remember my dad trying to cook rice for us one night when my mom was working but he burned it all to the bottom of the pot. He wasn’t one for cooking but he was good at so many other things that I think it made up for that. I remember the parties my parents had with their friends when I was a kid and my dad dancing with my mom and singing along to his favorite songs. Those nights were hard to get to sleep with all that noise downstairs but it is a great memory of the friendship that he had. I can remember traveling to Denmark and him being so proud to show me where he hung out as a kid and it was great to be able to see him interact with his family at home. Lately I remember giving him free haircuts and him always saying after that his pile of hair on the floor looked like our old dog Willy’s fur because of it’s mix of grey and white. He loved dogs and he had so much fun wrestling with and spoiling my brother’s dog Keyla and our dog Molly. He could not get enough of those dogs; they were like his own grandchildren.

The memories I have of my dad that stand out the most though are the little things; the slippers or Danish wooden clogs that he always wore everywhere he went, him sitting out on the porch on a hot day with his beer and his pipe, the little pats on the bum he would give me as his way of showing me he loved me, him lounging in his reclining chair watching the history channel or being engulfed in one of his many books, the smell of his clothes after he came home from work or being in the shop, the way he would pull out his little comb from his pocket and slick back his hair, his contagious laugh when watching stupid shows like Candid Camera. My dad was a simple man, if he could have potatoes and gravy and rye bread and liver paste everyday, he would’ve been happy. These little things that made him who he was; those are the things that I will remember.

I am so glad that my dad was able to experience so many good things in the 78 years of his life. Starting a new life and adventure in Canada almost 45 years ago, being married to the love of his life for 43 years, being a father for 36 years, having a job that he loved for almost 30 years, being able to travel the world and see new places, provide things for his family that he only dreamed of as a boy, seeing Kevin and I grow up into successful and honorable people just like him, being able to walk me down the aisle and get to know my husband who he was so happy to see me marry, and experiencing tremendous joy when he found out that he was going to be a Grandpa next July. These are all things I am grateful that he was able to have while he was here on earth. He had a good life indeed, one that we will cherish forever.

My dad always told my mom that she was lucky to have him as a husband. She joked back that she should’ve married someone younger and richer. He assured her that there was no one better for her than him and I agree. I can’t imagine a life with any other dad but my own. I am truly his daughter and sometimes that got in the way of us showing each other how much we loved one another with our stubbornness and quiet personalities. But I know that he loved me because I could see it in his eyes and that is all I really need. It’s hard to believe that he is gone now. It feels like he is just sitting at the hospital waiting for us to come pick him up. But I know that is not true because his spirit was not with him the last time I saw him face to face. He is no longer on earth but I have the hope that we will all see him again one day and I can only be comforted knowing that he is now watching over us. We want to thank all of you for coming and showing us so much care and sympathy over the last week. Please do not forget us as we adjust to life with one less in our small pack. Thank you so much for the joy you gave to my dad and thank you for acknowledging his life and honoring it with us today.

The day after my dad died, there was a heavy fog in the air, which was an image to me of the sadness we all felt in our hearts. That fog will slowly start to lift, as I know he would not want us to be sad for long but to be happy and remember him as we carry him in our hearts. My dad was very strong and he would want us to be too. Dad, we will miss you so much, thank you for being such a great husband and dad to us, we will love you forever and always.

We were so truly sorry to hear of the passing of our dear uncle.

Dear uncle Valde

God looked around his garden and He found an empty place
and then He looked down upon the earth, and saw your tired face.
He put His arms around you, and lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful, He always takes the best.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you didn't go alone,
for part of us went with you, the day God called you home.
We will love you and miss you always. Rest in Peace dear uncle Valde.

Our hearts goes out to Ulla and family, you’ll be in our thoughts and prayers this holiday season and always

With deepest Sympathy
Your sister Putte, nieces, nephews and all family from Denmark.