Valerie Lily Brinklow

My name is Grant Brinklow, and I am one of only four people who had the incredible, and I really want to emphasise the word incredible, incredible good fortune, to have ValerieLilyBrinklow (known to all as Val) as their mother.

My Mum, our Mum, she was simply the best. Flawed like all of us yes but still the best, an absolute one of a kind, woman and mother.

Thankyou very much for coming here today to Fremantle, to join with my father Paul and our extended family, to mourn Mums passing and just as importantly, if not even more so, to celebrate her life and journey, and the stories of it.

She would have been absolutely thrilled to have you here today as we all are. Thankyou.

To reflect on Mum and her life, I acknowledge from the beginning, the unbelievably precious and special ways she was able to positively touch countless lives over the 77 years she was here with us in body.

Mums was a life extremely well lived, and hers was a phenomenal journey in which she experienced some of the most amazing highs and plenty of them, as well as, well, some lows. Aspects of both are probably familiar to many of you Im sure.

Throughout the ups and downs of her life however, she remained absolutely consistent in her beliefs, life philosophy and moral compass, always being true to herself and those closest to her. She never waivered from any of this. A truly inspirational role model to her children and in fact to everybody.

Her life is one extremely well deserved of remembrance and equally celebration, today and ongoing, as it will always be.

I truly, truly hope all her grandchildren and their future families will forever celebrate her life and inevitably the legend and legacy of our matriarch as it continues to grow over time for what she achieved and did for our family.

From the outset I want say to you that coming from a well filled with the greatest love, pride and adoration in my mother Val, she, she was an extraordinary woman.

Extraordinary. I say it again, an extraordinary woman.

I loved her dearly. We all did.

Mum was first and foremost, accomplished and self assured who through her achievements in her early years had made her parents Doreen and Tim so proud.

As part of this, I am convinced, she drew enormous inspiration for life and her attitude towards it, from the example of her maternal grandmother Lily Bolton, who by all accounts, was also an amazing woman and role model, having along the way endured her own fair share of major challenges and setbacks.

Mum often spoke of all three of them with great love, fondness and enduring memories.

As she did too about her fabulous great aunts including most notably, Iris and Mabel, that we as her offspring remember well too.

Between those two, they acted as a mother of sorts to our mum after the relatively early passing of Doreen in 1968 when mum was only 26. She loved them very much.

Mum was fiercely proud of her heritage particularly on the Bolton side and her upbringing in the early days of Fremantle and surrounding suburbs. Thats where she grew up and is the place she knew well.

She was a proud scholarship winner gaining entrance to John Curtin High School, which in turn provided her the platform later for tertiary studies at Graylands Teachers College.

For mine, as much as I know how much she loved and adored later for many years living in Shelley, I think its apt that we join here together today in Fremantle, because regardless of what anybody else might say, I say she was a Freo girl at heart certainly in her younger and formative years.

Of course beyond her own career achievements and milestones through to her mid twenties, I think it was obvious to anybody who knew her that what became the most important thing in her life, was her family. She adored her family unit. Mum was fiercely loyal and protective, and would defend it at any cost.

And family of course started with her marriage to Dad, my father Paul, back in 1967.

As he and I joked very fondly on a recent occasion, more than 52 years and never a cross word.

Well..

Mum was the most devoted, wonderful, caring, loyal, patient, encouraging, supportive, dedicated and of course loving wife over those 52 years to my Dad.

I know too for certain he absolutely loved and adored her and showed her that in his way.

I feel very sad for Dad today too given he is unable to stand up here and speak to you all freely, but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind he is grieving deeply for the loss of what was most clearly the love of his life.

I ask you therefore to keep him in your thoughts, prayers and importantly presence both today and beyond, as he needs that and he deserves it too.

I know Mum would have wanted that too, no doubt worrying herself sick about how he would be looked after and by whom if she wasnt around.

Its ok though Mum, as we have got this for you.

It was through that wonderful loving union with Paul that Val became the amazing mother she was to Rochelle, Kent, Blake and myself, and then along the way, a loving and dedicated grandmother to Lily, Charlie, Harry, Will, Fletcher, Annabel, Campbell, Reese, Dylan, Brody, Amy, Bentley and a further grandchild due to arrive this December.

As much as Mum was an amazing mother, she too was an adoring Nan to all her beloved grandchildren something I hope they all know and will forever celebrate her memory.

Mum was also a sister to Glynnes (whom she sadly never met), a twin to Geoffrey whom she spoke about through her memories even though he died as an infant, and of course Peter a brother with whom she had a very close and special life long bond.

In terms of other family, Val and her cousin Jan were very close, tight in fact, and more like sisters who grew up together and endured a life long friendship right to the very end last week. Theirs was a very special bond too. And it was the case too with her sister in law Sue. And to a slightly lesser extent with Beverley another cousin from the Bolton side.

Im sure many of you will also know to that she had truly wonderful long term friendships too with her girlfriends including Barbara, June, Louise, and Jo among other, of whom she spoke about with fondness and great regard all the time.

If you werent aware, for more 50 years on and off, Mum was primary school teacher in the WA Education Department, and often I have reflected on her teaching career and achievements with enormous pride noting that she taught her final primary school class around the age of 72.

How many young lives did she positively shape, influence and inspire over her teaching career I wonder? Hundreds? Maybe thousands? Who really knows but we can say for sure plenty.

As mum departed her care facility for the very last time last Tuesday, I heard in the still and sadness of that moment, the innocent sound of children in the playground at the neighbouring primary school singing, playing and calling out as they do.

In that moment I thought maybe it a final tribute of sorts, a message of thanks and goodbye to mum from those young primary school kids on behalf of all those she helped so much over a long and distinguished career.

Whilst Mum was always a primary school teacher first and foremost, she became a wonderful business confidant, mentor, motivator and support to Dad, helping him so much through his own working career and then many business ventures they launched and worked in together.

These included Spring Fresh Drycleaners in East Vic Park in which she spent many long days toiling away front and back of house, in the Seafresh Seafood van that used to be stationed in front of what was the Riverton Hotel for many years, and then as non Executive Director in the companies they created including Burbidge Mining, Great Victoria Gold, Vitamins Australia, Comfortwear Footwear, Brinchem Corporation and Sterile Products among others.

And throughout their entire time together Mum maintained the most amazingly well kept and clean home, as well as the meals we all loved coming home to.

Mum was such a hardworker over the entirety of her life, and it was a direct result of her indefatiguable work ethic that she could juggle and keep in the air for long periods as many balls as she did.

There are not enough superlatives in the dictionary to describe my mum and her many positive facets: caring, loyal, dedicated, selfless, strong, supportive, encouraging, determined, disciplined and hard driving all feature prominently.

But most of all, extremely loving, very devoted, occasionally demanding, selfless, hard working, gentle and nurturing.

Mum instilled in you the value of self belief, a want to strive and stretch yourself to achieve and be the best version of you. To do your best whatever your endeavour.

She insisted on you taking a positive outlook on the challenges of life, and those lessons from her have always stayed with me throughout.

To that end Mum gave me this quote when I was about 12 (and I think did the same with my siblings at different stages) with the note from her on the back which read:

Dear Grant, Always remember these words throughout your life. Love Mum. I have always treasured this gift from her and carried it with me since.

If you allow me I would like to share it with you:

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you dont
If you like to win, but think you cant
It is almost certain you wont

If you think youll lose, yourre lost,
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellows will
Its all in the state of mind

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
Youve got to think high to rise
Youve got to be sure of yourself before
You can even win a prize

Lifes battles dont always go
To the stronger or faster man
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

Timeless and inspiring words for almost any occasion, and they were so appropriately from our mum.

Mum was always straight talking and never ever one to sugar coat things. Maybe on occasion now and then, her directness and straight talking might have caused a few people to roll their eyes, but they nonetheless respected and loved her regardless. And she could certainly mix it just fine with anybody and everybody never mincing words. That was Val.

Its difficult almost impossible to pick the best of times with my Mum to share with you from such a rich and long lifetime of so many wonderful experiences together, but for me the earliest days with her and dad at Raneleigh Crescant in South Perth, the annual Christmas celebrations in Shelley and Willeton with the Pursers and Brinklow, all the birthdays with the traditional icecream cake and pavalova, the impromptu catch ups on Sundays or for that matter any with Mum over a bowl of her freshly cooked lamb shank soup from her beloved pressure cooker, the school projects she and I worked on together in year 5 covering the Gold industry in WA and then on the country of Japan in Year 7, the holidays we had as children annually at Rottnest, Karribanks and Appledene in the Porongurups, and Bettys Beach at Albany and her 70th birthday celebration at Sandalford are certainly among the most cherished of memories.

There was also the wonderful time we spent together at the Sheraton Yulara when we all climbed Ayers Rock and then the Olgas, and of course later when living in Darwin she visited a few months after the birth of Harry and Charlie up there. She loved it there.

Beyond those times, it was the more simple occasions and predictable custom centred around the dining room table at 8 Bridget Place Shelley with Mum and Dad that we will all forever cherish the memories of.

Mum wrote a joint note to her 4 children quite some time before her passing and which I received after it, and I would like to read to you an extract from it because for me and hopefully for you too, it was beautiful to hear in her own words how she had reflected on her life.

It goes as follows:

Dear Grant, Rochelle, Blake and Kent

I would just like to say how much I love you all. You and Dad have been my life for the last 50 years and I am so proud of each of you.

Thankyou for your love and support over the years. I have always tried to do my best for you, as has Dad, so please look after him for me!

Enjoy your lives and live it in peace and happiness with your family.

I love all my family and grandchildren. You are all wonderful.

My love for you all goes on forever. Love each other as I have loved you, family is the most important thing in our lives.

Thankyou for bringing so much joy into my life. I have been so lucky to have such a fabulous husband and wonderful children.

Your Mum forever. Xxx

So with that I say thankyou to you Mum. I love you, we all love you, and we will forever cherish and honour our memories of you and your wonderful legacy.

Rest in Peace my dear mum.