Wayne Dudley Lance

In my time living with Wayne I appreciated his capability to adapt and to change his mind on long standing beliefs, and to find peace in the end...
His daily commitment to exercise has stoked my own fires to keep reaching for better and better daily habits to enhance my life. He showed me that no matter our age we can continue to grow and expand ourselves.
I am forever grateful for the time we had together.
With love, Charles "Chaz" Shand

Dad was organized. One of my favorite memories is the "Saturday List." The Saturday List was usually written on a yellow ruled pad. Dad would start working on the list early in the week (sometimes there were unfinished tasks from the prior week) and by Saturday morning the list was an entire page long. Saturday often started with a trip to the lumber yard or hardware store to pick up supplies that were needed for the day and completion of tasks on the list. Most of the tasks were for the house, garage, garden or cars. As tasks were completed, they were crossed off the list.
When Dad had most if not all of the tasks completed and crossed off the list, he would lie on the living room floor, tired out from the days work and listen to a game or watch The Jackie Gleason Show, Flipper or The Lawrence Welk Show.
Now I find myself making lists, usually mentally but sometimes written. I know he satisfaction I feel in crossing tasks off the list, is the same satisfaction Dad must have felt on Saturday evenings.

Dad was reliable. He was emotionally stable, categorically the opposite to moody, always on an even keel. And he was very caring. With Dad present, I knew I was safe. Of course in my sullen teenage years it was different, as would be expected. I was past needing security from my parents by then, and hyper aware of our differences. It’s only through insight as an adult that I recognize how important that sense of safety was in my early childhood.

There were a few occasions when I feared my dad’s anger, when I knew I’d done something outside the boundaries of my parents’ dictates. But it was my own shame I feared, not corporal punishment. Dad handled those situations with only a scolding. Having subsequently had exposure to children damaged by physical and emotional abuse, I can really appreciate how well my dad moderated his anger; how fair he was.

I had a little anxiety when he traveled for his job, which was sometimes as much as a week away at a time. He’d be gone to Juneau, or Guam, or Hawaii, for example. Doing consulting, I guess, to school districts wanting to develop their own special education programs. A week without Dad was a week with a simmering anxiousness. And his return immediately lifted that tension.Then all seemed right again, and I knew he’d be home every day after 5:00, and home on weekends.

Dad was truly an inspiration in how to live according to one's values. He was consistent, kind, sensitive, thoughtful, and always thinking ahead to being prepared. Two important influences he had on me were his love of nature, and his dedication to his health and fitness. My earliest fond memories are of trailing him around our gardens in Eugene, where he worked as a professor at the University of Oregon. Through him I learned the basics of gardening. I can't imagine how he had the energy to lay out gardens and irrigation and fencing on his weekends, with his other dedication to the church on Sunday. Meanwhile also taking our family on camping trips in the Oregon wilderness, where he could utilize the skills he learned in The Boy Scouts, something he took great pride in. He also remained a steadfast runner until age 70, I think, at which point he switched to walking or whatever exercise was most at hand, but never let up on pursuing his fitness until the very end. His outlook was consistently positive, even in the face of chronic illness at the end. I feel truly blessed to have had such a wonderful father.

What a wonderful father he was to me and my siblings. I am forever grateful. Rest in peace, Dad. I love you.