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John J. Gervais

John Gervais Obituary

John J. Gervais of Tewksbury

John J. Gervais, age 42, of Tewksbury, March 16. beloved husband of Cheryl (Creswell) (Daughenbaugh) Gervais. Visiting hours Monday, March 21, from 4:00 to 8:00 p.m. in the Tewksbury Funeral Home, corner of 1 Dewey and 975 Main Sts. (Rte. 38) TEWKSBURY CENTER, phone (800 in MA or 978) 851-2950. His funeral will begin Tuesday, March 22, at 9:00 a.m. from the funeral home, followed by a Funeral Mass at 10:00 a.m. in St. William's Church, 1351 Main St. (Rte. 38) Tewksbury. Burial will follow at Tewksbury Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorials to the John J. Gervais Memorial Fund, will be appreciated. tewksburyfuneralhome.com

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Published by Lowell Sun on Mar. 20, 2011.

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Johnny Daughenbaugh

March 16, 2023

Been so long all that's left are stories and memories that bring a smile to my face when I'm feeling down. I wish you could be here with us to see how far we've come. I owe everything I have to you for all that you taught me and all the tools you left me to be the person I got to become. I miss and love you buddy.

Cheryl Gervais

March 16, 2022

I can´t believe it has been 11 years that you have been gone. I truly Miss You and will Always Love You They say time heals but that´s not true, at least not in my book. You simply learn to move forward and hold onto all the Wonderful memories you shared. Life is never the same as you imagined that it would be. You touched so many lives and you will certainly never be forgotten. I visit your grave all the time and I just tell myself that you are in a better place and you are doing what you always loved...racing. I Love You and Miss You and you will forever be in my heart and I know that you are always watching over John and me. I Love You 143 XOXO

Cheryl Gervais

December 20, 2021

Hi Johnny! I just wanted to let you know that you have been on my mind a lot and I miss you more than anything in the World It definitely never gets any easier and it´s not just difficult because of the holidays as it´s always hard and we just somehow learn to move forward. I know that deep in your heart you want nothing more than for me to be happy so I am doing just that. I visit your gravesite all the time and although I know you are not there it comforts me in some way. You will Always be in my Heart and I am forever grateful for the time and chance to have had such an amazing and loving man in my lifeI Love You and Miss You more than you will ever know

Cheryl Gervais

February 22, 2020

It's been so long since I have written in here but believe me I never forget about you. I still visit your grave every week. I met an Amazing man and it's so strange that his name is Johnny. I think of you every day and miss you so much. Johnny is so supportive as he talks about you because he knows that a lot of who I am today is because of you and the Love we shared. He understands how important you are to me and that my feelings will never change. Time does not heal, you just learn to move forward. I know that someday I will be with you again. I had a very difficult time being with someone else but I know you would want me to be happy. I Love and Miss You 143. XOXOXO

Cheryl Gervais

March 16, 2019

It took me a very Long time but, I celebrate these days as I know you would not want me to be sad. It's been 8 years today and I wonder where the time went as it almost seems like yesterday. I visit your grave every Saturday even knowing that your not there but, I know how happy you must be for the Beautiful stone that I created for you. For 8 years I lived my life all alone and even though I seemed happy I was so sad inside. I strongly believe that you sent Tim to me and I am not sad and alone anymore. He is very good to me and treats me so good. I will forever Love and Miss you and hold you in my heart forever. The memories we shared will stay with me for life❤ Today I went to your grave and found myself remembering all the wonderful times we had together and for the very first time I was not sad because I realized just how Lucky I was to have had you in my life and I am very grateful for that. XOXO 143

Cheryl Gervais

February 25, 2017

It's been a long time since I have wrote anything but, it's certainly not because I haven't thought of you. I think about you every day and about all the wonderful memories that we shared. I am so happy in my new home. Finally peace and comfort. It's perfect. I can't believe that next month will be six years since you have been gone. Seems like only yesterday. I visit your grave all the time although I know you are not there. I somehow find some comfort when I go there. I find that the stone I created for you is just Beautiful! As always I've and Miss You. 143. xOXOXO

Happy Birthday to the most Amazing man i have ever known

Cheryl Gervais

July 15, 2015

Happy Birthday to the most Amazing man i have ever known. I will cherish our memories we made forever. I wish so much that we had more time together. I expected to grow old with you and for you to be a part of all things to come. I think of you each and every day. It does not matter whether its a holiday or a birthday or anniversary, it always seems very hard. Sometimes i am overwhelmed with heartache and wonder will it ever get easier? I think things just change and we have to try to change with it. I celebrate your birthday with all the wonderful memories that you left behind. I am reminded of what an Amazing man that you were everytime i see our son. You made him what he is today and i am grateful for that. I hope today...you are racing and you win Big! I Love You and Miss you 143 XOXOXO

Happy 4TH Of July

Cheryl Gervais

July 4, 2015

Happy 4th of July Johnny! Its been awhile since i have written in here. John and I absolutely love our new home. The only thing missing is you. I sit here and wonder why you were taken from us when you should be here where you belong. If only i could move forward as i know that is what you would want for me. John has attended another retreat and always is asked to talk about his life and how it has changed in so many ways since you have been gone. He talks about how much you have taught him and all he has learned from you. You raised him to be a really wonderful man. You would be so proud of him as i know you are always around. I feel your presence more since we have moved to our new home. I miss and love you terribly. 143 XOXOXO

Missing You

cheryl gervais

March 16, 2015

I will never forget this day as four years ago today i received the most devastating phone call anyone could ever imagine. It haunts me sometimes when i think about it. I try to remember the good times and all the wonderful memories we shared together. I was truly blessed to have crossed paths with such an Amazing man who will forever remain close to my heart. Those who say that time heals all, well lets say that isnt true. Things just seem to change and you have to change with it whether you want to or not. My son gets me through each and every day. Also i am very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life who have always been there for me. I will always be grateful to alot of my coworkers who went out of their way to make sure i had borrowed time and also set up a fund in the credit union for me in which i could never express my gratitude enough. I think they know how appreciative i am. I have been so emotional lately with moving. My heart aches thinking how you should be here sharing these excited moments. I know you will always watch over me. I cant believe it has been four years since you have been gone. I love and Miss you so much Johnny 143 XOXOXO

I will never forget this day

cheryl gervais

March 16, 2015

cheryl gervais

November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving Johnny! It does not get any easier, especially on Holidays. I have you in my heart always and think of you a thousand times a day. Life has changed so dramatically and not alot seems normal. I try to be as happy as i can be because i know that is what you would want for me. I also believe that if i were to walk around sad and negative then friends and family would not want to be around me and i need all the support i can get. Sometimes i have bad days and choose to be alone and think about how happy you made John and I. He misses you just as much as me and i dont think the pain will ever leave. We just learn to live one day at a time. John deals with his grief at his church retreats. He wrote a letter about himself for the retreat and although it was somewhat sad, it also made me happy as i see what a huge impact you had in his life. He looks up to you and is becoming the Wonderful man you had taught him to be. I wish so much that i could be strong like him and deal with my grief in a way to help others. People tell me all the time that i am one of the strongest people they know, but deep down inside i hurt so much and just try to be the Happy person that they have always known. I will be thinking of you on this day of Thanks, As i am and always will be very Thankful that you were and always be a big part of my life. I Love You Always and forever.. and miss you more than words can say. I Love You XOXOXO

Just to see you smile

Cheryl Gervais

June 4, 2014

As john's graduation approaches, I feel emotional and happy just knowing that you will be there smiling as john receives his diploma. I am so very proud of him as i know you are too. He is such a good kid, sometimes moody but, he takes care of me. What kid would take their mom to get a car so she could feel safe...you taught him well. On the day we bought the car, i wasnt sure about buying a new car and as i was sitting there with the salesman i looked at the computer screen and saw the number of the car was 32 and i knew right then you were there letting me know it was the right thing to do. A few days later i was putting groceries into the trunk and just happened to look at the license plate and my heart dropped as the date on the sticker was March 16. The day we had lost you. I try to look at it as a positive sign. Ironic but positive. As i stand and watch our son accept his diploma, and become the man you always showed him to be, I will be so Happy just knowing you are there with us with a Big smile on your face saying that's my son. I Love & Miss You with all my heart and soul. I Love You 14XOXOXO

Missing You

Cheryl Gervais

May 14, 2014

Its been awhile since i have written anything in here but, believe me not a day goes by that i dont miss you so very much. I wrote a poem for you and i visit your grave more and more. I know you are not there and you will always be close to my heart but, sometimes it helps to go there and talk to you. I am really sad lately thinking about john graduating and it is going to be really hard without you there with me. You must be very proud of him as he is doing exactly the work you did. I know how much he misses you and misses sharing all his experiences at his job. I know you are watching over us and you are always near but, its not really the same and does not make me feel any better. I do try not to be sad all the time because i know how much you never liked to see me sad. So i think of all the good times and all the wonderful things we did. Most of all i think about how sweet, caring and loving you always were to me and i realize that it was an Amazing blessing for me to have found you. I Love and Miss You 143XOXOXO

Veronica Clark Shane Chase

December 1, 2013

Not a day goes by that your not in our thoughts. We miss youJohnny and forever you'll be in our hearts .

Cheryl Gervais

November 29, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving!
I had a good day today with family. We had lots of food and lots of laughs with noelle. She is getting so big. She said to her mom i am bored after we played with her for hours. I said noelle, we are at your house you are suppose to entertain us. She said um...i dont think you entertained us when we were at your house did you? crack me up. She showed us her bedroom and had a photo album with lots of pictures of you and her. It made me sad but, glad to have such wonderful memories. Every day and holidays are not the same. I try to make the best of things for our son john as i know it would only hurt him to see me so sad all the time but, it is not easy. I wish i could help him as he has been so lost since you have been gone. He talks about you all the time and how much fun you both had together. I love you always and forever you will be in my heart. I Love You 143XOXOXO

Happy Anniversary My Love

Cheryl Gervais

September 15, 2013

You're the Love of my life
And the air that I breathe.
You're my light and happiness
And all that I need.
You're my shining star way
Up in the sky.
You're my up and downs
And the reason I try.
You're my strength and weakness
My love from the start.
You're my heartache, my pain
And the beat of my Heart.
You're my tears and my joy
All the love that you bring.
The love of my life, my world
Johnny, you are my everything.

Happy Anniversary
I Love & Miss You Deeply
143XOXOXO

I love writing poems to you because i know how much they meant to you. I remember how excited you would get whenever i wrote a poem and how grateful you were for having john and i in your life. I dont think a day went by that you didnt show your gratitude for finally finding someone who loved you unconditionally, and that i did. You deserved the moon and the stars. I am so very grateful for having had the chance to share such wonderful memories with a very special man with whom i will never forget. Not a day goes by that i dont think about you and miss you to pieces. Happy Anniversay Johnny! I Love You today, tomorrow and Forever. 143XOXOXO

cheryl gervais

September 1, 2013

I am missing you terribly. Last night i had a dream that you came to see me and we took pictures together and you told me that you will visit me all the time. I was showing the pictures to everyone but they didnt believe you were here with me. I woke up feeling so happy but sad. I pray of dreaming of you all the time and my wish finally came true. But, the sadness of reality affects me in a way that i then feel depressed for it was only a dream. How i wish i could move forward in life but, it is very difficult especially now that i have no choice but to sell the house where all our memories are. I know deep in my heart that wherever i go you will be right beside me. The emotions are like a rollercoaster. I Love and Miss You So Much. 143XOXOXO

[email protected]

cheryl gervais

July 15, 2013

There will never be any words that will make it seem ok,
I will remember all the good times on this very special day.
You were the most Amazing man I have ever met in my life.
I have never been more proud than knowing I will always be your wife.
Today I celebrate you and all the great times we had.
You were not just Johns best friend, You were a very
Special Dad.
They say things happen for a reason but, how can that be?
When the Love of my life was taken away from me.
People often say be happy and get rid of the blues.
They will never know the constant pain unless they stand
In my shoes.
It does make me happy knowing your in a special place.
But, everyday I re-live losing you the tears roll down my face.
I wish you a Happy Birthday and I am sending a BIG kiss to you.
To the most Amazing man in the world, I will always and forever love you!
I will never say goodbye or think that it is the end.
For you will always be my best friend and soul mate and we shall see one another again.
I Love You Johnny
143XOXOXO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Love Cheryl

Missing your Love on Mother's Day

Cheryl Gervais

May 12, 2013

It's days like this that make me realize just how lucky i am to have had such a wonderful man in my life. I look back on all the special Mother's days we spent together and how special you always made me feel. I know deep in my heart that you are always with me but today for some reason i strongly sense you are right here with me holding my hand. One of the things i miss most about you was you were never afraid to show me how much you loved me no matter where we were or what we were doing. Always holding my hand and opening my car door just like a real gentleman. You were the most sensitive man i have ever met in my life and i miss you so much. 143XOXOXO I Love You

Missing your love notes

Cheryl Gervais

April 21, 2013

I was cleaning the attic yesterday and came across so many of your things. I looked into a box with our names on it and there it was, a notebook full of letters that we wrote to eachother almost every day. Sometimes it is so hard to believe that i could have ever found someone as caring and wonderful as you. Notes full of love. Every note from you always told me how you were never so happy then the day we met. And how i meant the world to you. I was reading one of them and had to laugh because you wrote, I love you cheryl so god damn much and this is going to be my new liscense plate.
CHRLS.MN (cheryls mine) I am so very grateful for the memories i have. Two notebooks full of love notes from you. One of them says to me. Do you have that tingling feeling that will not go away? I do because that is how much i love you. I love and miss you so much. Please watch over the people who lost their lives. Also the ones who's lives will be altered from mondays tragedy. I Love You 143XOXOXO

Happy Easter

Cheryl Gervais

March 31, 2013

Happy Easter To the most Amazing man i have ever known. Today i will be remembering all the Easters that we have spent together and be Grateful. Although i miss you terribly, i am very lucky to have such wonderful memories that you have left behind. Each and every minute of every day you are always on my mind. I take great comfort in knowing that you are with your dad, your grandmother and all your loved ones that have passed. Someday we will be reunited. I want to wish you a Happy Easter.

Johnny Daughenbaugh-Gervais

March 20, 2013

its been so long since you left that your voice is fading away but even tho it's been so long I still see that goofy smile I hear that goofy laugh and I remember all the times you made me laugh so hard I nearly peed and that one time I did... I remember how you were getting so gray on the outside but inside you were still my big 18 year old brother... You gave me guidance you have me someone to talk to and you gave up so much for me I talk to you all the time and whenever things go right I thank you because your watching over me making sure things go right or things go wrong to get me back for all the times I talked back :p I miss you so much and I'm glad I had the time I did when you were here you taught me so much and ill never forget the good times we had laughing and getting in trouble just remember ill be up there soon to cause havoc with you I believe everything happens for a reason and if anyone deserves to be up there it's you god needed a driver and it's unfortunate he chose you but it's all apart of the plan love and miss you John 3:16

Two Year Anniversary

Cheryl Gervais

March 16, 2013

I wrote you this poem and put it in the newspaper in memory of you my love.

Every day i miss your face.
without you here, its an empty place.
As long as we shall be apart.
Memories of you will fill my heart.
It's been two years, and the pain is still there.
I am grateful for the love, we were able to share.
I often talk about you and can barely speak.
Then sadness overwhelms me, and tears run down my cheek.
For everyone, god has a plan.
I was lucky to have had such an Amazing man.

I miss you terribly.
Love you Always 143XOXOXO
Your Wife Cheryl

Always Thinking Of You

Cheryl Gervais

March 10, 2013

As another year approaches that you have been gone. All the anxious feelings are overwhelming. I am reminded of that awful night that when i learned that you were gone. It still to this day does not seem real. Every day i struggle with the thought of having to move forward without my soulmate and it breaks my heart. How does someone continue on with life without the most important person there beside them? I know deep in my heart that you would not me to be sad. I try so very hard to accept that you are not coming back home and that you are always with me. It doesnt make things any easier. The pain isnt any less than it was two years ago. I try to remain strong but, some days i question my life without you. I thank god every day for having john in my life. He visits you almost every day. Its not so easy for me. I just wish i had the answers to why you were taken so soon. I know we all have to go someday but, it doesnt make sense. I keep your memory alive as i have picture of you and me everywhere as it reminds me of the most happiest times of my life. You will always be forever in my heart. I Love You 143XOXOXO

Cheryl Gervais

February 14, 2013

I miss you each and every day. And how much you loved me in every way. I hold you deep inside my heart. Wishing more than anything we weren't apart. I try so hard to let you go. You would want me to move on, this i know. The special love we shared was rare. I often think that life is not fair. I know that you are in a better place. That does not stop the tears from rolling down my face. You will forever and always in my heart be mine. You will always be my one and only Valentine...Happy Valentine's Day My Love. I Love And Miss You 143XOXOXO

Merry Christmas Johnny

Cheryl Gervais

December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas Johnny! not a single day goes by that i dont miss you like crazy. I keep wondering when are things going to seem normal again. I know deep in my heart that things will never be the same without you here and it breaks my heart. Everyday is a struggle knowing that every christmas and every thanksgiving and every other holiday as well as just any plain day will never be as Happy as it was with you. I know that you are happy in heaven with your dad and all your other loved ones and that you are always by my side. I will be forever grateful for having had such a wonderful and amazing man in my life. I know deep down in my heart that you would want nothing but the best for me but, that doesnt make it any easier to move on without you. I wish you a Merry Christmas and just know i am sending Big hugs and kisses to you. I Love You And Miss You So Much 143XOXOXO

Johnny Daughenbaugh Gervais

December 23, 2012

John Daughenbaugh
12/3/12
Memoir #1
One of the saddest days of my life was on March 16, 2011. This was the day my father was found unresponsive in a hotel in Connecticut. But I'm going to start from the beginning of the story. My parents got divorced when I was 5 this was tough not understanding what it meant at the time and I started taking two hour drives to see my dad every other weekend. Soon a tall man in a big black truck named John started coming to my house in Tewksbury and this became my mom's new boyfriend. I didn't understand who he was as my mom tells me that I kept telling him my mom and dad were still together because I was only 5. His name was John my name was John so I told him he had to be called Johnny because I was here first. Well as I got older me and him became best friends to a point where he became a better father than my real dad was. He had started working with his brother doing jobs all around New England and this is when he was leaving to do some work in Connecticut. He was getting ready to leave and I was on the couch watching TV my mom said why don't you give him a hug and a kiss before he leaves. This was odd because, we barely hugged and never kissed I don't know why but I wish I did this time. He left and we didn't talk till I texted him a week after he left because I had a question about something I was working on in my garage. Then I woke up on march 16th seemed like a normal day sun came up I had a normal day got a hair cut after school and went on my way. My mom called Johnny right after the haircut because he said he was feeling a bit sick the night before but he didn't answer. My mom left a message. The words will echo in my head for the longest time. “Hi honey I was just calling to see how you were just wanna make you're your not dead.” This was funny at the time, just a little joke like we always joked with each other before. Later that night I was on xbox with my friends just talking and playing some old game and my mom was watching tv in her bedroom. I think she called my Uncle Bobby to see how Johnny was doing. Bobby seemed upset and couldn't talk. Soon she got an answer. He had passed away. She come screaming and crying into the kitchen yelling “Johnny's dead!” words that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I didn't know what to say or what to do but I didn't cry I was too in shock and yelled at her in extreme anger to never joke like that again but the tears running down her cheeks I have never seen before then turned this whole disaster to reality. I ran to the phone and called my Uncle Bobby and asked is it true is it true he said yes jr. I was crushed I ran to my safe place, my garage. The place me and my dad spent the most amount of time and then I hit the floor and thought of every single thing that I won't be able to do any more everything I wish we did when I had the chance and how the biggest influence on my life is now gone just like that. I cried and punched the wall and realized how terrible things will soon be without my best friend without my dad and my role model. Soon after I realized he would rather me smile then shed tears and laugh and do what we used to I try but its not the same alone. What hurt the most as seeing my mother the way she was depressed angry and not knowing how to handle it. I handled it my way which could be why I have so many issues now. I barely talked about it and I still struggle to cope with the loss I've become depressed unfocused and mostly a very angry person. I'm trying to change and I didn't know all this could come from just one day. The day I call the saddest day of my life.

Cheryl Gervais

November 23, 2012

Just thinking about you and i wanted to tell you how much I Love And Miss You! I know you already know but, i just felt the need to tell you.

Cheryl Gervais

November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving Honey, I had a pretty good day at Linda's house with George and mom and Odette and John. We got lost and of course i remembered all the times we would get lost whenever we went anywhere. You would say "OH" i know how to get there, and you didnt. Noelle said grace, she is so smart and getting so big. I started to cry during the day but, then thought about how you use to do the lawn mower dance and that made me laugh instantly. I miss your sense of humor, we were like two peas in a pod. I am not only grateful today for my family and friends but, also for having had such an Amazing and Wonderful man in my life. And although you are not here with me physically i know you are watching over me and always by my side and the memories i will have forever. It does not get easier like people say, your life just changes. Its often like a rollercoaster. Only your not on the ride with me. I will always be thankful for the chance to experience the love of a lifetime. I Love You & I Miss You 143XOXOXO

You Will Always Be My One And Only Love

Cheryl Gervais

November 1, 2012

Hi my love. I just wanted to let you know that i missed waking this morning to you smothering me with kisses and hugs for my birthday, even though it never had to be a special day for you to shower me with all the love that you had. I miss the two cards you would always get me on special occassions, one funny and one sentimental. Today was a pretty good day thanks to my wonderful friends at work buying me flowers and gifts and having a icecream cake for me. It makes my day alittle brighter and i am grateful for having them in my life. I also got to come home to dinner and another icecream cake. My aunt dottie, mom and john was all i needed. Something was definately missing and that was you. I know you are always by my side watching out for me and john. John is hanging in there but, has alot of anger inside him and i wish i knew how to help him. I know you will always be there to guide him. I wish i could get him to talk to someone because i know it would make him feel just alittle better. I worry about him. He is lost without you as i am. I dont know how to fill the void. They say time heals all but, i dont feel less pain now then i did in the beginning. I think we just learn to go on even though we hurt deep inside. I have our special memories and thats what keeps me going sometimes. I just keep telling myself how lucky i was to have found such a wonderful, amazing man. That i will hold onto forever and ever. I love and miss you! 143XOXOXO

Happy Anniversary

Cheryl Gervais

September 17, 2012

I have been so caught up in trying to keep my mind busy in knowing our anniversary was coming that i forgot to write you and let you know just how much i miss you and did not forget about our special day. Sometimes i try to put myself in a place where this is all a dream but, that never seems to work. whether it is holidays, special days we spent together, it doesnt matter because every day i am missing you just as much as the last. I miss you and love you 143XOXOXO

Cheryl Gervais

September 2, 2012

Thought of you a thousand times today already. Its getting close to our anniversary and it hurts so much that you are not here with me. This year would be five wonderful years with the love of my life. You are constantly on my mind, day and night. I miss the way you always would wink at me and i miss you holding the car door open for me and you holding my hand. And how you would tell me a hundred times a day how lucky you were to have me and how much you love me. I miss how excited you would get when you came home from work with a big smile on your face as soon as you saw me. I miss how you would hold me and tell me that you never wanted to let go. I Miss You more than anything in this whole world. I Miss You My Love
I Love You 143XOXOXO

Lisa Gervais

September 1, 2012

Hello John. Just wanted to say HELLO. It has been a bit since I sent you a message. You are always in our thoughts. Wishing you a wonderful Labor Day. We miss you do much. Love Always and Forever. Bob, Lisa, Savanna & Hunter

Cheryl Gervais

August 31, 2012

I dont know why but, it has been a tough week for me. I dont seem to want to do much of anything. Being on vacation and having too much time on my hands has not been good for me. I had all these plans for my week off but, when the time came i have no motivation. I havent been able to control my sad feelings in which i should have never hid them. I just wish people would understand that what i am going through is not easy and except that my whole life has changed. I dont know how or should i say i am not ready to move forward with my life. Trust me, i do try. I try to think that i was blessed having you in my life in which helps alittle. I know i need to let go of you and start over but, its not that easy. I have accepted that you are gone but, you will forever be in my heart. My friend Kathleen from group says that i should not worry about showing my feelings and that if people are my real friends, then they will stand by me and support me. I Love You 143XOXOXO

Always Thinking Of You

cheryl gervais

August 18, 2012

I ask god every day to take away my pain. But every day without you, the sadness seems to remain. Every day i promise you that i will not be sad. Then i think of all the wonderful memories that you and i had. Moving ahead without you is not easy as i always try. I just cant seem to let go and tell you goodbye. I have kept my feelings deep inside and they are catching up with me. As all i want to do is cry and set my feelings free. I hope that friends and family see that i myself have not changed. That my life is very different now and has been all re-arranged. I have to somehow learn to live without you, something i do not wish to do. Not moving on with my life, i know is hurting you. I know you wish me to be happy and i try every day. I know it will not be easy but, for you i'll find a way. I have never loved anyone as much as i Love you. But, knowing your always with me, the tough days i'll get through. As i spend today with your family, i will be thinking of only you. I know that i'll be smiling because you will be thinking of me too. I Love You So Much And Miss You So Much! I Love You XOXO 143

Happy Birthday To The Love Of My Life

Cheryl Gervais

July 15, 2012

There is nothing that anyone can say, that will make it seem ok.
I will remember all the good times on this very special day.
You were the most Amazing man i have ever met in my life.
I have never been more proud than just knowing i will always be your wife.
Today i celebrate you and all the great times we had.
You were not only John's best friend, You were a very special dad.
They say things happen for reasons, but how can that be.
When the Love Of My Life was taken away from me.
People constantly tell me i should be happy and get rid of the blues.
They will never know the constant pain unless they stand inside my shoes.
It does make me happy knowing you are in a special place.
But, everyday i re-live losing you the tears roll down my face.
I wish you a Happy Birthday and im sending a BIG kiss to you.
To the most AMAZING man in the world, I will always forever love you.
I will never say goodbye or think that it's the end.
For you are my best friend and soulmate and we shall see one another again.

I Love You Johnny!
143XOXOXO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST AMAZING MAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

Cheryl Gervais

July 7, 2012

When i close my eyes you are the only one i see. I knew the day we met you were the only one for me. Now you are gone and i am left with alot of pain. I hold onto the precious memories for they will forever remain. I wait for the day we meet again when i can kiss your face. Until that day i will often think of our very special place. Two people so much in love that sometimes it didnt seem real. Now your gone and it hurts so much i dont think my heart will ever heal. I sometimes get mad and yell out loud why did you have to leave. I know you did not choose to go that much i do believe. you would never leave me if you had a choice that much i know is true. You were and always will be the most amazing man i ever knew. I Love You 143XOXOXO

Lisa Gervais

July 5, 2012

Hello John. Sending love to you on this 4th of July Holiday. We are up at Salisbury beach for the week. Weather has been great, thanks for sending it our way. We miss you every day. With Love, Lisa Bob Savanna and your best buddy Hunter

I Thought Of You A Million Times Today

Cheryl Gervais

July 5, 2012

I thought of you a million times today. I woke up at five and couldnt go back to sleep. I keep wishing this was all just a bad dream. I went to the fireworks last night and tried to think that every firework that lit the sky you were right there watching them with me. I think the worse part of losing someone is trying to understand just why the most important people in your life have to die. I always thought that we would grow old together. With each passing day the pain gets worse and the emptiness i feel doesnt seem to subside. I hold all the special memories of you close to my heart. I know deep down you would want me to be happy and move on with my life. Alot of things are easier said than done as i try but, dont seem to get anywhere. You are always on my mind day and night. Everything i do reminds me of you. I pray every night when i go to sleep that when i wake up you will be right here next to me. Forever in my heart you will always be The Love Of My Life. I Love And Miss You Johnny 143XOXOXO

cheryl gervais

July 3, 2012

It has been a while but, i think about you every minute of every day. Another fourth of July without you. John went to a weekend retreat and they had a candlelight service and you would have been so proud of him singing. I know he like going to the retreat because there he can talk about you in which he doesnt talk to me and thats ok as long as he talks to someone. I went to pick him up at st johns church sunday morning and he sat with all the kids from the retreat while i sat and cried, i dont know what came over me i just kept thinking how you should be here with us and sharing all these memories. I miss you more and more every day. I am on vacation and it stinks. Even though you were always busy working and didnt get alot of time off, just knowing i could cook you a big meal when you came home made me happy. You were always so appreciative of everything i did for you. I wish i knew how to go on and live my life but, it just plain stinks without you in it. I Love You And I Miss You Deeply

Savanna's Recital

Cheryl Gervais

June 4, 2012

I went to Savanna's recital yesterday. She is getting so big. You should have seen her dance. What a little princess. She too calls me cheri. In which makes me happy and sad at the same time. You always called me cheri although i hated it. I wish so much that you were sitting beside me. I held in the tears i so much wanted to cry. I know you were watching and that you were proud. I am very thankful that i can be a part of your family. I miss you so much and you are always on my mind. It isnt getting any easier though. I go to work and i am a different person than when i am home and i am expecting to see you. I love and miss you deeply. 143XOXOXO

Missing You

Cheryl Gervais

May 14, 2012

I was feeling so sad and depressed mothers day without you here. I decided to go into work to keep myself busy. Nothing is the same anymore. I try so hard to do things and go out and try to enjoy myself but, its not easy because no matter where i am or who i am with i am always thinking of you. It is so empty in this house without you that i dont even care to be in it half the time. I went with your mom to see the impersonator rod stewart. I remember when donna and i came home one night and you were painting the bathroom with the cd of rod stewart playing so loud. We were laughing so hard as you were having a good time for yourself. Always trying to make me proud of you in which i was extremely proud of you no matter what you did. I Love You & Miss You So Much 143XOXOXO

Emmas First Communion

Cheryl Gervais

May 6, 2012

I went to Emma's first communion yesterday. It was so sad and lonely not having you sit beside me. The whole time that was all i could think about. You would be holding my hand the whole time. We all went to Rick's Cafe afterwards Then we topk the kids to the park and watched them play. You should have seen Hunter, what a cute handsome little man. He was having a ball. He said to me auntie cheryl "you cant get me" as he was going up the ladder to the slide. He didnt think i would run up the stairs and grab him. The look on his face was priceless. I wish you were here so you could see all the kids and how big they are getting.
I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Thinking Of You

Cheryl Gervais

April 24, 2012

I absolutely love this picture because, you seem to be in deep thought. It makes me think your thoughts are with me as mine are always with you. We were without a doubt meant for eachother in every way. I think with each passing day things would seem alittle less painful but, it doesnt change. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Thank You Barbara & Doris

Cheryl Gervais

April 20, 2012

I want to thank Barbara & Doris so much for keeping this book online. I appreciate it. I write to John all the time and somehow it makes things just alittle easier. So Thank You Both.

My Shining Star

Cheryl Gervais

April 19, 2012

As i see the same star every night, how bright it shines on me..
seems to be the same star we seen when you got down on one knee..
And on the nights that star dont shine, are the nights that you are free..
Because i can feel that you are holding me tight as you are lying next to me..
I lie in bed every night and try not to cry..
I remember that aweful night i lost you, when you came and said goodbye..
I will never say goodbye, because i believe in fate..
I know that when my time comes, you will be waiting at the gate..
So when i look up in the sky, to see the star not shining bright..
Those will be the amazing nights when you are here holding me tight..

I Love You 143 XOXOXO

The Hardest Thing Aside From Losing You

Cheryl Gervais

April 19, 2012

Aside from losing you, this was one of the worse days of my life. Having to pick out a stone for the Love of my life. It was so hard designing your stone but, The verse i had put on it, says it all because You were My Best Friend, Love Of My Life & Soulmate thanks to the keeper of the stars. That is exactly why we had picked the song Keeper Of The Stars for our wedding song. I cant even begin to tell you just how much my heart aches and the sadness that i feel. I know that you would want me to be happy but, how am i suppose to be happy without my soulmate? I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Are You Thinking About Me

Cheryl Gervais

April 19, 2012

I Love This picture because it makes me think about you thinking about me. I use to wonder what was more important..your racecar or me but, i know that i always came first in your life. You also put our son first. That was the most amazing feeling, that you were so much more than a father to john. I know he misses you just as much as i do. I need you and I know he needs you. I think about all the important things to come and it makes me so sad that you will not be here to share it with us. I Love You 143XOXOXO

You Made Me As Happy As I Made You

Cheryl Gervais

April 19, 2012

Our honeymoon. Look at how excited you were. I will never forget the amazing love we had for eachother. The most amazing feeling in the whole world. I thank my lucky stars to have had you in my life. I made you just as happy as you made me. No matter how hard it is not to have you here, i will always have the wonderful memorie's that we shared. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

This is the picture I was talking about when i said you are either thinking about winning or me

Hi Uncle John

Lisa Gervais

April 18, 2012

We Love You Uncle John, Savanna & Hunter

Lisa Gervais

April 18, 2012

Lisa Gervais

April 18, 2012

My brother in law John - how I miss you so much. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you. It has already been more than a year since your passing and cannot believe it. I look at your picture everyday in my kitchen, it always brings a smile to my face. This past winter (if you want to call it a winter) was especially hard because I would always see you in the door way of the house with wet boots and the kids would run over to you to see. It was the best feeling to see those kids light up in your presence. Uncle John Uncle John -I can still hear Hunter speak it. You must have talked to the Snow God and told him to be easy on us since you were not around to help with the plowing. Your life was taken too soon. Wish we could have had many many more memories, but I do think of all the good ones that we were able to share. I will forever hold those close to me. Some of them make me laugh and some of them make me cry.... Hunter & Savanna send wishes your way. Miss you always and forever!

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

I cant figure it out...either you are thinking about winning or you are thinking about me. I would have to say you were probably thinking of me. You are always on my mind every minute of every day. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

I am so glad i took the chance

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

I remember this day like it was yesterday. We had only been together a few months but already so in love. As much as i pushed you away when i first met you I knew you were the one for me. Your persistance won me over and i am glad that i took that chance because i had the best time of my life when i was with you Johnny and i know you felt the same with me. You always had a smile from ear to ear when we were together. I remember all the times we would go out to eat and you were just like a little kid in a candy store. That was just one of the many qualities that i loved so much about you. I Miss You Terribly 143 XOXOXO

Johnny hard at work as always 143 XOXOXO

April 18, 2012

My Baby Jasmine

April 18, 2012

Father & Son

April 18, 2012

Johnny, Cheryl & Nichole

April 18, 2012

Our Weird Son

April 18, 2012

Nichole & John at Kelly's Wedding

April 18, 2012

Johnny's Pride & Joy

April 18, 2012

Brittany doing Johnny's Favorite Dance "The Sprinkler"

April 18, 2012

Johnny, Dottie & John

April 18, 2012

A very excited Johnny on our honeymoon

April 18, 2012

A special gift from Candy

April 18, 2012

Johnny and John's Masterpiece

April 18, 2012

John's Racecar

April 18, 2012

Nichole & Noelle

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

Nichole & Carl

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

Mom & Dottie

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

This is the trip that we gave to dottie and mom. I am so glad that we could do something like that to show them how much we appreciate everything that they do for us. Just look at the smiles on their faces. PRICELESS.

Johnny & Roland

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

This is another one of my favorite pictures. Roland is such a funny little man. I laugh every time i think of easter when we were getting ready to eat and he had a easter egg with two dollars in change and he said to me "Pay To Eat" I said i will give you a tip "Dont Eat Yellow Snow" He said to me well i did once when i was three.

Judy & Bob

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

Jimmy & Veronica

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

Bobby & Hunter

Cheryl Gervais

April 18, 2012

It's times like these that makes me sad. To know that you are missing out on seeing all the kids grow up and knowing how much we all miss you. Our godson is growing up fast. I know deep in my heart that you are always around and watching over all of us. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Cheryl Gervais

April 17, 2012

Hi my love, I had a very nice lunch with your mom today at our favorite place. I never thought in a million years that i would be able to go there but, when i do i remember all the good times we had there and it's not so bad. After we ate we sat out on the patio and it was such a beautiful day. I remember all the times we sat out there in the summer just sitting and talking for hours. I am grateful for having all of your family in my life. I hope you like the beautiful poem that john wrote for you. It is absolutely beautiful. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Johnny Daughenbaugh

April 17, 2012

A whole entire year,
Without you even here
Above the glorious clouds
Where angels and peace surrounds…
Along time to be away
there's a lot I have to say…

I miss you smile, your voice, your laugh,
Without you I'm only half.
Your jokes, your comebacks
Every memory of you stops me in my tracks..
The way you loved my mother
Was absolutely like no other.

You taught me so much, you taught me so well,
In such little time before the final farewell.
You went so fast,
I should've appreciated the time, we had last.
I look back and don't laugh nor cry,
Just think about our time together, time I wish I could buy.

I send you my prayers and I send you my love,
Yet through all this, the bond of mother and son grown thereof.
One day you will meet her at those shiny gates,
There your true heaven, finally awaits.
Not long after I'll follow behind
But until then I will keep your precious memories in mind.

With a falling tear in my eye
I will sit each day and wonder why?
Also the what ifs haunt me in my mind
The feeling we have for you can't even begin to be defined.
If you were here I'd know just what to say,
I love you Dad with all my heart now please wont you just stay…
Love you Johnny
Love Your son,

Jr.

Wondering just what or who you are thinking of in this picture....probably me

Cheryl Gervais

April 17, 2012

I sit here wondering what would we be doing. I know you would be telling me to enjoy my vacation and dont clean the house. You would say I will clean it when i get home from work. We never really got to take alot of vacations together because you always had to work or you would be helping someone in which that was why i was so attracted to you because you always put everyone ahead of yourself. Although i always seemed mad it was only because i wanted you to be able to do the things in life that you wanted to do but, you were just always overly static just to have john and i in your life and that meant the world to me. I Love You 143XOXOXO

I am glad that i had the chance to experience the Love Of A Lifetime

Cheryl Gervais

April 16, 2012

I woke sunday morning just so depressed. I decided to go to the cemetary and sit with you. As i sat on a blanket and began to talk to you, It hit me hard wondering why had something so wonderful had been taken from me and where do i go from here. The more i thought about how happy we were, the tears rolling down my face uncontrollably. I just wish i could understand why you had to leave. I know that everyone leaves at some point but, you were taken from me too soon. As much as i dont like to go to your stone alone. All i could think about is how much i just needed someone to hug and tell me that it was going to be ok. It's the worst feeling in the world to feel alone. I usually tell myself what a good friend once told me. That i should be grateful to have experienced something so wonderful and that most people spend their whole lives never getting the chance to find someone as wonderful as i have. Sometimes it helps alittle but, not today. Thank god for Kathleen who i met in group. I called her up and she without hesitation met with me, and i felt so much better. It helps extremely just to know that someone knows just exactly what i am going through. I am going to try to make today a better day. I know that you would not want me to be sad. I Love You and I Miss You 143 XOXOXO

So grateful for my friends at work

Cheryl Gervais

April 12, 2012

Just sitting here wishing you were here to share my good news about receiving employee of the month. I was so surprised and very grateful. My heart dropped when i saw the certificate and it read march. I will always dislike the month of march because that reminds me of when i lost the love of my life. What hurt even more was knowing i didnt have you to share it with. I know how much you would have been proud of me. You would have bought me flowers and taken me out to eat because you were just so sensitive and observing of my needs. Always there for me no matter where or when. I could call you anytime and ask you for something and you would drop everything you were doing just for me, and i miss that. As happy i am for being nominated for this honor, I am also sad for not having you here to celebrate with me. I am so very grateful to my coworkers who i also consider very special friends i can honestly say i am glad i have such wonderful and caring people in my life. They always make me feel special and for the most part they have been there for me through this very difficult time in my life. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Kelly's Wedding

Cheryl Gervais

April 9, 2012

Today i thought of my sister who has been gone for 33 years. I thought about how nice it is that you can finally meet her. I put an angel at her stone just like the one i put at yours. I now have two guardian angels. You would have laughed so hard if you saw hunter yesterday all dressed up like a little man but, the funny thing was he had on alot of cologne. I get sad when i see him because i know how close you were to him. He will always remember you. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Happy Easter Johnny

Cheryl Gervais

April 8, 2012

Happy Easter Johnny, Today was a good day at your mom's house. Roland, Emma and Sydney are so hilarious and entertaining that it made it so impossible to be sad and that is a huge plus. I visited your stone yesterday and put an angel there in rememberence that you are and always will be my guardian angel. I know you are with me all the time. The strong bond that we shared together there is no way you would ever leave me i know you are around me all the time in spirit. Alot of times i feel you all around especially when we are all together as a family. Visiting your stone was so hard and difficult to see your name and face on that stone just made it so real. I do accept you are gone but, sometimes it hits me real hard and i wonder what i am suppose to do now. Also there are so many times that i feel alone and i think back and remember what you always told me that no matter what happens in life i will always be ok and i have to believe that. I Love You, I Miss You 143 XOXOXO

Judy & Roland

Cheryl Gervais

April 7, 2012

I just love to visit your family because i feel so strong your presence. As easter approaches i feel a sadness you will not be with me but, it makes it so much easier when i am with all the family.

Happy Times With Family

Cheryl Gervais

April 5, 2012

This was just one of the fun days we had together. I hardly see harry and linnie and i miss them. There was nothing more enjoyable then spending time with family and i intend to always stay close to yours. I know they know just how much i love you and we will always be connected by you. Johnny i cant even begin to tell you just how much i miss you and how much my heart aches but, i am trying to take the advice of a special friend and i try to spend my time thinking of the good times and how lucky i was to have found you and have you in my life when some people spend a lifetime never experience what we shared. I Love You 143XOXOXO

You Always Put Everyone Before Yourself

Cheryl Gervais

April 3, 2012

I use to love watching you make your lunch, when you would give more of the sandwich meat to the cats and dog then you would put in your sandwich. That was just the amazing man you are, always putting everyone ahead of yourself. I use to get so mad at you because i couldnt stand to see you always getting taking advantage of. But, as time went on i realized that it made you happy to do for other people, and i loved you so much for that. You were the most Amazing and important thing in my whole life. I so cherish the time that we had together. I Love You 143XOXOXO

The Dog Pee

Cheryl Gervais

April 3, 2012

I just wanted to share this with you. We went to your mom's after the Mass and were all sitting around the table when the kids called me into the other room to perform a show for me. well roland comes over to me and keeps lifting his leg up and down and i thought wow, that is a cool dance. well driving home with nichole and john, nichole says to me did you see rolands dance i said yes, she says he calls it the dog pee. I laughed so hard. The kids are growing up so fast. It was not easy being sad because they certainly entertain you. I Love You 143XOXOXO

Cheryl Gervais

April 2, 2012

I remember the good days when we would just sit and talk or go for walks with john and jasmine. I see people walking holding hands and it breaks my heart because that was us so in love with eachother with no cares in the world when we were in eachothers arms. I miss those days so much. I feel sick all the time just thinking about how you will only be with me in spirit. I love you so very much and miss you more than anything in this world

One Of My Favorite Pictures

Cheryl Gervais

March 30, 2012

This is one of my favorite pictures, although i have a million of them and treasure them all. Hunter is getting so big and i know he does not understand where you are but, i know you are all around us all the time. although john gets sad because hunter thinks he is you at the same time john appreciates that because he always looked up to you. I Love You 143 XOXOXO

Cheryl Gervais

March 28, 2012

We had a nice service for you tonight. I remembered all the good times and that is what i focused on. Of course i cried. We all went to your mom's after for dinner and it was really nice to all be together. I know that you were right there with us smiling. I wish so much that you were here with me. I Love and Miss You 143XOXOXO I added this picture of hunter and you, i was thinking tonight as i looked at him how much you loved him and how much he loves you. Every time hunter sees john he calls him uncle johnny and it breaks my heart.

Famous haircut from kelly

Cheryl Gervais

March 19, 2012

This was one of your memorable haircuts from your favorite cousin kelly. This is a nice picture of the two of you. I miss her and i wish she didnt live so far away. We usually all get together every christmas at uncle harry's but, not this year. This christmas was not the same without you here so i really dont think it would have been any fun.
I Love And Miss you 143XOXOXO

Mike D

March 16, 2012

Seems like it was only a few days ago that I saw you in Cheryl's office, laughing. You had driven up from CT to see her. I'll never forget the day you helped me out of a huge jam with my rental SUV at your shop. After which, you didn't even want any money! But that was you, always helping people out. Rest in Peace, Johnny Gervais. A good soul taken too soon.

My Poem To You

Cheryl Gervais

March 16, 2012

How could something so wonderful,
Come to an end.
A year ago today I lost my very
Best friend.
The most amazing man that I've
Ever met in my life.
Im grateful for having had the
Chance of becoming your wife.
Even though it seem as though
We're far apart.
You will always be close to me
As I hold you in my heart.
I often wonder why you had to
Leave and can not stop the tears.
I have learned that some of gods
Greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Some people live their whole life
Never having a love like ours.
Im glad that I had that love,
Thanks to the keeper of the stars.
Every minute of every day you are
Always on my mind.
I cherish the wonderful memories
That you have left behind.
Words can not express the
Emptiness that I feel.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself
As it still does not seem real.
Im thankful for all the knowledge
You have given to our son.
The bond between the two of you
Can never be undone.
Our son has become a wonderful
Young man, hes smart and funny too.
Thanks to the most amazing man,
Johnny Gervais I owe it all to you!

I Love & Miss You So Very Much! 143 XOXOXO

Im so proud of our son

Cheryl Gervais

March 15, 2012

I am so proud of our son that he made it into skills usa. He has learned so much from you and he is a wonderful young man because of you. As tomorrow is near it is so hard to imagine it has been a year. I cry all the time even though i know it will not bring you back to me, i remember all the wonderful memorie's we have shared over the years and i am grateful that i had the most amazing experience of a lifetime having you in my life. I Love and Miss You So Much. 143 XOXOXO

Judy Spengler

March 14, 2012

Hard to believe a year is here and gone, everytime there's a family gathering I feel like you'll be coming along any minute, and walking thru the door. I miss you every day especially that giddy laugh of yours & always having a smile on your face. I think about you all the time, and know that your spririt is always around. Aunt Jean told me at your wake that they'll be times when you're around me. She said it might be something in passing that may remind me of you and that'll be the sign that shows me you're around. I never forgot it and over the summer I went to NY, while I was there doing my grocery shopping with the kids. We happen to get a carriage but not just any carriage it was a race car carriage and your race car number was on the side of it...how Ironic, it was there that I realized how true it is that you'd be around. I knew you were around us in spirit. Until we meet again, I'll enjoy feeling your spirit of presents. Love ya & miss you, Judy