1950
2020
Ray, Steven M.
MADISON – Steven Mark Ray, 70, died of cancer on Dec. 1, 2020, at Sage Meadow in Middleton. He will be remembered as a devoted father, unheralded journalist and steadfast friend, with wry wit and deep intelligence beneath his solitary nature.
The son of William Lewis and George Ann (Frederick), Ray was born Nov. 12, 1950, in St. Paul, Minn.
Longtime work at The Capital Times, as wire news editor, had Steve rising at 4 a.m. to glean hundreds of news stories and photos from around the world. Then he'd choose, prioritize and edit the top dozen or two for publication. It was a formidable job with the daily expectation that well-laid plans would be tossed whenever late-breaking news demanded a quick reshuffling of editorial content.
Steve embraced hard work, avoided fanfare and was professional, efficient, stoic. His 19 years at the Cap Times ended with the newspaper's first round of downsizing in 2008. He was proud that his two children earned college scholarships through the publication's Evjue Foundation.
His hands-off approach to parenting was never neglectful: daughter Katie and son Dan considered it a sign of respect and admiration for his fellow travelers on Spaceship Earth.
Steve went about life with both a quiet dedication to daily routines and a sense of adventure and appreciation for the comedic and absurd. He enjoyed camping with his family in the Midwest and, in later years, spent a part of many winters in Mexico. After newspaper work ended, he took on an early-morning job at Menards.
Learning about other cultures and ways of life – through travels, reading and television – were of great interest. His home was filled with books and old National Geographic magazines. Re-visiting favorite scenes from "The Blues Brothers," "Joe Dirt," "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," and other comedic films also kept him engrossed. His favorite leisure time activity was getting the boat out and spending long, peaceful days fishing with his buddy, John.
Before moving with his family to Madison in 1989, Steve worked as a sportswriter, news reporter or copy editor at newspapers in Green Bay and Monroe; Iron Mountain, Mich.; and Keokuk and Davenport, Iowa. Co-workers appreciated his dedication, integrity and sense of humor.
The guy with brilliant blue eyes, rugged good looks and an infectious laugh graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh with a journalism degree and was editor-in-chief of the Advance-Titan college newspaper. He maintained college friendships and was in Oshkosh during the journalism department's 50th anniversary in 2018.
Steve was a stylish dresser in the newsroom and a perennial hippie – woodsy and flannel-garbed – when away from work. The man of few words occasionally would surprise those who thought they knew his backstory with outlandish and hilarious tales of his unconventional formative years. Like the time he met Ken Kesey. Or the time he launched a 200-pound boulder into the sky with a can of gunpowder.
Despite Steve's solitary nature, he tended to be a focal point for gatherings of friends and family. Wherever he lived effortlessly became the gathering place for holidays and Packers games. His cooking of Italian and Mexican specialties was much loved.
Steve is survived by his treasured children, Katie Ray of Chicago and Dan Ray (Kristin Garcia) of Burlington, Vt.; and grandchildren, Daenerys and Crixus Garcia Ray.
Also bereaved are cousin, Lyn Wygant, of Kalamazoo, Mich., who was like a sister to Steve; lifelong friends, John Peila, Stan LaBelle and Larry Pawlowski, who were like brothers; and Jackie Moore, a dear friend. Steve also remained close to his former wife of 20 years, Sheryl Voita, who cared for him to the end and still loves him in the beyond.
He was preceded in death by his parents; and a sister, Sandy Marie Ray.
The Cremation Society of Madison assisted the family, and a celebration of life will happen after COVID restrictions are lifted.
The loss of Steve's wit, insights and even-keeled bearing on the world leaves it a far poorer place. He truly appreciated people for who they really were, deep down. There was something otherworldly, when he turned his famous bright blue eyes upon you; you felt appreciation and love, as well as a strange connection to all that is unknowable in this life. Even now, in our thoughts, through those eyes, we feel love, gratitude for our time with him - and trust and reverence for life's many mysteries.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
4 Entries
The Ray Family
June 24, 2021
We have a date for Steve´s Memorial:
July 24, 2021
at The Great Dane
in Fitchburg, WI.
(See photo.)
Nancy Parrinello
December 8, 2020
On behalf of the Boylan Class of 1968, we extend our sympathies to the family of our classmate.
Kim Sunderlage
December 8, 2020
Hours of solitude spent with our dogs on the pontoon on a lake "up North," will always be among my favorite and wonderful memories of my former coworker and always friend, Stevie Ray Bob.
Maggie finegan
December 6, 2020
Beautiful story, wonderful man. Katie I know you are so blessed to be his daughter!
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