Carmella Janet Sheeler

I consider myself fortunate to have a grandmother like Carmella, especially in the last few years, where I finally became mature enough to understand the world around me and her place in it. When I was a toddler, I was always elated to come to California to visit, and while I certainly loved my grandma, I didn’t really understand much about anything other than that she gave me attention and had a lovely bowl of hard candies always at the ready. Later, in the tweens and early teen years, I went through the unfortunate “this is stupid” phase where anything that didn’t involve me sitting in front of the Xbox was met with whining opposition and fits. These are the years where I spent my time at my grandmother’s with my face in my phone instead of enjoying the extremely limited time with her I was given. Finally, in my mid and late teens, I broke free. Unfortunately, these mid and late teen years have become the last years I will ever get to spend with her. But, in this limited time, I came to understand that my grandmother was the perfect blend of Old World charm and New World ideologies. In my last two or three visits with her before her passing, I interrogated her about the past, and her experiences when she was young. I learned that she had voted in every single presidential election since 1956. I learned about living without electricity during the Great Depression. We discussed wind up record players, the Fireside Chats, and the cars she drove as a youngster. It is a great honor to have a grandmother like mine. And I am more than grateful that my last memories with her involve intimate, deep conversations which brought both her and me joy to be a part of.

I will always remember your wit and beautiful smile!! Thank you Carmella for your kindness and friendship. Spread your Wings and fly high Carmella, your work is done here. ♥♥

Carmella was a beautiful person inside out . She was the best neighbor and friend anyone could ever hope for. We will miss her tremendously. One thing I do know is how much she loved each of her children and family .

My Mom – Carmella Sheeler
Simply put, my mom was the perfect mom for me.
She may have been old fashioned, but when it came to parenting, she was a modern woman and way ahead of her time.
I was a: high-energy, strong-willed, fast-talking, always-moving TOMBOY– before that was in fashion, remotely cool, or even acceptable.
She embraced, supported, nurtured, and fiercely protected my individuality and independence. Of more importance than her acceptance of her ragamuffin little girl, was her investment in me, on my terms.
When I wanted to play basketball at our local park there weren’t any girls’ teams. She signed me up and got me in as the only girl in an all-boys league.
Of her three children (my sister, my brother, and me) I was the one who WASN’T gifted academically. I struggled to learn to read and was diagnosed with a mild form of dyslexia, labeled “perceptual problems” in those days. Although money was always tight, she found me a “reading doctor” who taught me how to form the dancing and twisting letters on the page into intelligible words I could read.
If a specialist was needed, she found them. But the majority of my life lessons came directly from her, and were of the most significance.
My mom taught me the importance of being truthful, kind, empathetic, and loyal. She showed me how to be solution oriented no matter the challenge. She instilled in me the importance of finding the fun in hard work. And how to find the joys of life even through adversity.
When I failed to pass my beginning swimming class three times, she wouldn’t allow me to quit or feel discouraged. She got me a little trophy when I finally passed at the end of my fourth class, which punctuated the importance of never giving up. I ended up a strong swimmer and on the swim team.
My mom was very wise about emotions, even though she was from the “keep a stiff upper lip” generation. She was a great listener and encouraged me to communicate my feelings no matter how painful being on the receiving end of them must have been.
And she showed me how to be constructive about my almost Tourette-syndrome-like need to be candid.
All of that, plus the gift she gave me of always knowing that she loved me. That might not sound monumental, but it was everything to me.
If I were to be made fun of, or make poor decisions or embarrassing mistakes, it never felt completely devastating. I always knew my mom loved me unconditionally and would help me see my way through anything.
To say it in an old-school way, my mom was a great lady. She was highly intelligent and gifted. She was fun and beautiful and brought joy into our lives. She had a song for every word and situation and filled the house with her piano playing and singing.
As a spunky little girl, I was annoyed by how she would be sparked into song when just hearing a word we may have said.
One day when we were in the car on some errands, I threw out a challenge I thought for sure would foil her. “I bet you don’t have a song for EVERY word,” I said. She responded, “Try me.”
I looked out the window at the first car I saw driving by and read its make... “Oldsmobile!” I yelled.
She grinned, and proceeded to sing, “In My Merry Oldsmobile.” Who knew this song even existed? She didArgh!
When I look back now on my childhood, I have nothing but fond memories of her singing.
My mom was also an avid reader to the point that if I were to come home when she had her nose deep in a James Michener novel, I could slam the door, and she still wouldn’t notice I was there. She also loved to read to us when we were kids. She was very animated and would be brought to tears when sharing a touching story.
She would tell me, “I never worry about you.” At the time that wasn’t exactly comforting because it scared me a little. “What if she’s wrong?” But I came to learn her confidence in me came from seeing I had been successfully indoctrinated into her life lessons of positivity and problem solving. She had become confident I could navigate my own way.
This is not to say she gave herself any credit for the countless things she taught me. In fact, she spent so much of her positive energy on her family, that she didn’t seem to have any left over for herself.
And although I think I was able to convince her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me, I don’t think anyone could have made her truly believe she deserved to feel that way about herself.
As an adult, I came to appreciate her even more, seeing she wasn’t the strong person for herself, she taught me to be. I am not talking about her true strength as a mother, wife, friend, and career woman. Her accomplishments and talents were plenty. I am talking about her never giving herself credit for them.
Over the years the lessons were many. Even in her final days. She showed me how important what she taught me will be as I get older.
I always told my mom that if I could be half the mother to my two children that she was to me, I would be one of the best. Now that she’s gone, I will carry her in my heart – as I always have – but with even greater importance.
Thank you for everything you have given me, mom. Words really don’t do you justice.
Love you always,
Helene

You raised a wonderful daughter. Well done
RIP Carmella

We are so sorry for your loss. Carmella appears to have been an incredible person. We wish we had met her! Love and special thoughts to all of you!