Daniel J. "Dan" Ryan

Time stopped for a moment on Tuesday, November 25th, some of you may have felt it, too. We imagine it was the moment Dad saw Mom again, and he asked Jesus if they could have a moment.

He managed 14 months without Cheryl, the love of his life, and it was just enough time to make sure he took care of business here. Also, FOMO. Dad had an acute case of it, giving him decades more life than a body would normally allow, but it was handy in his battle with cancer. In his last hours, he found a moment of clarity and opened his eyes to ask, "What the hell is going on here?!" He must have heard us all singing and laughing around him and wanted in on it. Even while unconscious, his feet kept the beat to the music of Elton John and Cat Stevens.

Dad was 79 when he left. He was born on June 30, 1946 to Alice and James Ryan of LaFayette, NY. He had 7 sisters and 1 brother, 4 daughters, 2 grandsons, 4 granddaughters, and 2 great-granddaughters. All those girls taught him to be one of the great feminists (but also a man who left his dinner plate where he ate because someone else would clean it up). His wit and wisdom came from seeing the world and being of Irish descent. We'll let you decide what that means.

Danny boy was a farm boy from birth to the day he enlisted with the Air Force in 1965. There were no structures he could not build, no crop he could not raise, no fighter jet he could not identify, and no food he would not salt. His Uncle Joe, also a farmer, taught him to swear. Grandpa Pelletier, his mother's father, taught him how to shave with a straight razor, always sharpened with the same strop used to threaten him if he acted up.

Dad and his sisters and brother had great adventures on the old farm on LaFayette Road where the family of 10, plus Grandpa Pelletier, plus Perle the farmhand, lived. He and his sisters swam in the water pump when "Gramp wasn't looking and the cows didn't mind." When the corn crib was empty "we'd transform it to a playhouse, or a restaurant, or a school." Dad's childhood on the farm brought him a closeness to nature and everything it painted: Their apple orchard which grew his love for cider season, the hundred pine trees he and his family planted ("It makes me wonder," he said, "how many of those trees were hauled home by a daddy for his little ones to hang tinsel.") As a young father, there was a very special Maple tree on the Susquehanna Turnpike in Little Meadows, PA that he loved and dozens of old stone walls he found on family hikes.

In 1963, at the Student Union at SUNY Cobleskill, Dad met Mom. Time stopped for a moment for him then, some of you may have felt it. They were married on January 21, 1966. Their love and devotion lasted nearly 6 decades and was a love that many call "goals."

The story goes that Uncle Jim hung up the phone at the news of the engagement and drove over state lines to deliver a staggering punch to his brother's face. He was a groomsman at their wedding and a wonderful brother-in-law.

The war was calling for young men in 1966, so Dad was set to join the Marines. But Grandpa Ryan said, "for chrissakes, they'll shoot you in the belly, figure something else out." And so the Air Force it was. Specifically, Ramstein, Germany. Mom joined him there and they settled for four years, first at #5 Hirtenfad Strasse, Kindsbach, and eventually a larger home in Miesenbach ("more suitable for a wife and baby.") Cheryl Anne was born in Landsthuhl in 1968. The young Ryan Family traveled Europe over, collecting memories in Holland at the Keukenhof, the Alps, the Black Forest, and Paris. In his duties, he did TDY in Seville, Palma De Majorca, Spangdahlem, Bitburg, Erding, and relayed aircraft during the Six-Day War in Israel. Dan often commented that their time in Germany made them strong. "It was just the two of us and no one else."

Back in the states, Dan's little family grew quickly. In 1973, Patty, whom they adopted after laying eyes on her at just 8 months old. The day they brought her home to see Grandma Ryan is when they found out they were pregnant with Bridget, born in 1974, followed by her Irish twin, Meaghon in 1975. The family's peripateticism-Dan would call it "itchy feet"-left imprints in Groton, NY, Little Meadows, PA, East Meredith, NY, Cortland, NY, Milwaukee, WI, and Auburn, MA. Dan's skills as a father were second to none. His sister, Molly, wrote on Father's Day, "if I had to take a class in parenting, you would be the teacher." It wasn't just because he let us sit on his lap at 5 years old and help steer the car, or because we used him as a climbing wall, or because he taught us the value of music from gospel to Springsteen, or because he would prank our friends all the time, or because he taught us to drive a manual transmission starting on a steep incline from a parked position, or because of Christmas morning games of clue to find our presents, or because of the fall hikes and cider mill trips, or because of the many home improvements he made to our new homes, or because of the midnight phone calls to check on us, or the overnights with his grandchildren, or the apple crisp and warm German potato salad. It was because he was the kind of father who taught us that wealth comes from family, love is shown through championing each other's successes, and answering a call for help.

Always a warrior for justice, Dan was known to show up at (not just one) KKK rally to pass out anti-racism flyers to klansmen with his friends Bud and Pat. He took in strangers (not just one) throughout the years while they got back on their feet. Not just one person was given a job and help to get out of homelessness. One man was named Cornelius and his shaving cream smelled funny. Cheryl Anne remembers a time in 1979, during a blizzard, when a stranger knocked on their door, trying to find a way home for Christmas. Dad grabbed his coat and drove this nameless person across the state lines through the storm to get him to his family. (probably in that beat-up Chevy Kingswood, one of the few non-Volkswagens that Dad and Mom owned throughout the years). Dad stood proudly in the Massachusetts State House in 2020 and watched Governor Charlie Baker sign a bill, fought for by Cheryl Anne and named for his grandson Nicky, that protects the disabled and elderly. He was a devout Catholic with a bleeding heart who followed Christ's call to carry each other's burdens, and treat the hungry, thirsty, stranger, naked, sick, and imprisoned. His nieces wrote, "He gave so much hope. He defined 'peaceful warrior' to me. I loved his ability to be sentimental in a cruel hard world. He was more himself than anyone I have ever met." "He was old enough to be a mentor and young enough to be a buddy… Dan never hesitated to jump in and be a part of our lives … Dan remained the "fun" Uncle, always ready with something witty or wise. There was never a question that we could call on him if needed."

The farmer in him was always there, but he turned his career to business, directing non-profit organizations for public higher education, including at SUNY Delhi, SUNY Cortland, and retiring from Milwaukee Area Technical College. His work meant a lot to him, but it was the people he loved. It was hard to keep him at a desk, he'd rather be with his employees, sharing stories, coffee, and plans for new operations. His colleagues became chosen family and he remained connected to them for the rest of his life. Like his friend, Rob, who decided the holidays were too commercial, so he and Dan and their families started a new holiday called "Bah Humbug Day." The holiday became popular---too popular and too commercial, in fact, so they stopped celebrating it, but secretly raised a glass on 1/11 every year.

Dad and Mom were married for 58 years before she passed in 2024. Their devotion to each other and their family will never age, will be carried on through their children and their families, and their families. They will be remembered by their dancing, singing, playing, storytelling, and laughter. Every day. Music always filled our home. Mel Carter, Billy Joel, Simon and Garfunkel, James Taylor, Dylan, Cash, Willie, Carole. It was common for Dad to answer a question in the form of a song or find a song to match our answer. Mom and Dad sang an impressive "I Got You Babe."

Dad was a genealogist, and while he'd like you to know his entire family tree back to County Wicklow, we'll give you this: He was predeceased by his bride, Cheryl (Van Tassel) Ryan, his parents Alice (Pelletier) Ryan and James Francis Ryan, his brother James Albert Ryan, sister Agnes Naeglin (Joseph), Kathleen Simonds (Robert), Susan Hawks (Clayton), and Mary Anne Ryan. He is survived by his daughters Cheryl Chan (Alex), Patricia Ryan, Bridget Snell (Matthew), and Meaghon Ryan, his grandchildren Nicky Chan, Ryan Gordon, Isabelle Chan, Chynna Moore, Mary Pearl Snell, Juliet Snell, great granddaughters Cae'Lani and Royal, his sisters Maureen Gray (Ken), Sheila Richer, and Eileen Ryan, his nieces and nephews Mary K, Marty, Jen, Clay Jr., Steve, Mike, Dougie, Sarah, Reuben, Hannah, Annie, Leah, Claire, Quentin, and Zach, and daughters-esque Michelle and Sheila, and countless best friends from the world over.

Join us to raise a glass of Guiness or a coffee (black) and say, "Not to worry." We got this.

A service to remember and celebrate Dan will be held on Thursday, December 11, 2025 at 11:00 AM, with stories and eulogies at 12:30 PM at Britton-Wallace Funeral Home, 91 Central Street, Auburn, MA. A Mass will also be celebrated at St. Joseph's Church at 6104 US-20 in LaFayette, NY on Tuesday, December 16, 2025 at 11:00 AM, where military honors will be rendered.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Christopher Heights of Worcester, MA via GiveCentral.org.