David Lee DeFord

David Lee DeFord (1984-2026)
Loving Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Grandson, Nephew, Uncle, Cousin, and Friend
David Lee DeFord had a need for speed, but he left us too quickly. At 41 years old, David died on January 3, 2026, doing something he truly loved - working out in his garage. Trying to capture the magnitude of David's life and legacy in words is near impossible, but in true David fashion, we will not back down from this challenge. We know that David would be disappointed if we took him (or ourselves) too seriously, so here goes nothing.
David's life began on December 1, 1984, when he was born to David Michael DeFord and Shannon Schultz. David's first moments were spent in the arms of his mother, witnessing the first snow of the season through the hospital room. This kickstarted his journey as a self-proclaimed "Momma's Boy", something he was extremely proud of. Despite his size, age, or his uniform, David had designated Tuesday calls with his mom, where he'd proudly sit in the parking lot to savor extra moments on the phone even if it meant being late for work.
David was loved abundantly by parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews, friends, coworkers, dogs and truly anyone who met him. With a heart of gold, David knew how to make each person feel seen, loved, and protected. This deep tenderness created the space and bandwidth in the people in his life to tolerate his constant aggravation and bullshittery. Let's face it, David was an asshole. An extremely lovable asshole who was certain that nobody could out-best him in being an asshole.
David's whole life is one big love story, but his favorite love story to tell was that of his Sugar Mama, Sarah DeFord. At 17 years old, David met the love of his life and what a beautiful life they have built together. He proposed to Sarah on April Fool's Day, so he is said to have the longest running April Fool's joke in history in being Sarah's husband. In all seriousness, as his favorite co-pilot, the mother of his children, and his best teammate, Sarah (and dat ass) could not be more adored by David. Together they brought Hunter and Andrew into the world, with whom he was able to share the gift of fatherhood.
David was an exemplary father, demonstrating what it meant to be a man filled with love, tenderness, and grace. David modeled what it meant to lead, protect, and serve from a place of genuine love. David shared his joy of travel and adventure with his sons, ever-expanding their senses of the world and what could be possible. He lived his life with integrity and passed that on to his children, telling the boys to "eat that shit sandwich" and take accountability when necessary. This is something David practiced, not only preached.
David was the epitome of big brother energy. Thankfully, he had many siblings to share this well of love and support with. He made each sibling, and even his many cousins, feel the warmth of his tough-guy protection and tender-hearted listening ear. This also meant David had an infinite source of comedic material and outlets for healthy sibling fist fights and antagonization.
He fulfilled his wish of being known as the "fun uncle". If David wasn't winning Sexiest Man Competitions on a cruise, he could be found repeatedly telling kids they were grounded or sharing fun historical facts like "As George Washington always said, 'Stay strapped, or get clapped ". He was fulfilling his duty of making the children "resilient." David knew how to make you big-time-belly-laugh, even in the most inappropriate times.
Professionally speaking, David was an absolute powerhouse with an absurdly long resume. He was one of fewer than 3,000 certified bomb technicians in the entire country. He absolutely loved what he did for work, and he was proud of his accomplishments, training, and certifications, as are all who know and love him. He took all his "Type A Organizing All My Hot Wheels Cars by Type and Color in a Neat Row" energy and channeled it into the most impressive and high stakes career one could think of. He loved to share his knowledge and bring others along with him. No matter how big or strong or smart or larger than life he was, David would always kneel (physically and spiritually) to meet people on their level, to make them feel seen and included.
David took after his father's love for cars – working on cars, driving cars, speeding in cars – but David's favorite hobby of all was talking shit. Nobody could go harder or make it weirder. He often shared that he was only verbalizing half of what was going on in his brain, so we can only wonder what creative and insightful reflections he was concocting up there.
David lived 41 years. He may have lived them way too fast, but he lived them with intention and with integrity. He really lived, in every sense of the word. As we remember David's legacy and honor him with our own lives, may we quickly make peace with the fact that he left extremely large shoes to fill. May every joke we make, every sip of an Old Fashioned, every time we (safely) press the gas pedal a little harder, every strong embrace, bring forth the magic of his one-of-a-kind smile.
David is survived by his wife, Sarah; his children, Hunter and Andrew; his parents, Shannon, Kurt, Mike, Sandy, Caryn, and Bob; his siblings, Melissa (Isaias), Mickey (Jenna), Michaela (Bobby), John (Julie), Elijah, Frank, Amanda (Luke), and Logan; his nieces and nephews, Anna, Marshall, Zack, Bella, DJ, Paisley, Bailey, Lainey and Ivan; his grandparents, Donna Lee and Michael Barbour and Anita DeFord, and many loving uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, and colleagues.
Honoring David's wishes, there will be no traditional service. On Saturday, January 10th a Family visitation will take place from 10:00am-11:00am, with friends and loved ones welcome to join from 11:00am-1:00pm to say their final goodbyes.
A Celebration of David's life will begin at 2:00pm on Saturday, January 10th at the Fraternal Order of Police,1624 S Agnew Avenue, Oklahoma City, OK 73108.
Light refreshments will be served. Please BYOB to share in a toast to David's memory.
In lieu of flowers, offerings may be directed to support Sarah, Hunter, and AJ in this time of unimaginable grief. Contributions can be made via GoFundMe.