Joan Murray

Today is 1000 Days

Joan, I have lived 1000 days without you.
I have lived 1000 days without looking into your beautiful green eyes accented with golden brown flecks.
I have lived 1000 days without the feel of your lips on mine.
I have lived 1000 days without melting in the presence of your gorgeous radiant smile.
I have lived 1000 days without hearing your laughter or watching you dance.
I have lived 1000 days without seeing an amazing new oil painting come into existence from the brilliance of your hand.
I have lived without eating 1000 dinners with you, lingering over a glass of wine while discussing art or science or current events.
I have lived 1000 days without the two of us being bent together over in a full force belly laugh.
I have lived 1000 evenings without holding your hand while sitting on the loveseat watching a TV show or a movie.
I have lived 1000 days without spontaneously dancing around the house with you.
I have lived 1000 days without hugging you long and tight.
I have lived 1000 days without hearing you call, My Girl! from one end of our house to the other.
I have lived without hearing 1000 Good mornings and 1000 Goodnights.
And I have lived without more than a million I love yous' exhanged in countless ways.
Tomorrow will be day 1001.

Honoring Joan C Murray on International Women's Day.
Joan overcame incredible obstacle after obstacle as well as more pain and suffering than anyone should ever have in their life. Through it all, she was the most courageous, determined, persevering, intelligent, honest, sincere, sensitive, compassionate, generous, kind, gentle, talented, funny, delightful, and the bravest person I have ever known. You were amazing, Joan. I miss you and love you more than words could ever say.

Missing you now more than ever, Joan. I miss your delightful presence in every hour of the day and night. I remember when I would say goodnight to you, I would also say, "I look forward to spending the day with you, tomorrow." I so wish I could say that again! I so wish I could spend many more years with you! Life is hollow and empty without you. The passage of time does not help. I love you forever, Your Joan

You continue to inspire me and I think of you so often as I continue on with my life. I think of you when I do my oil painting. I think of you when I attempt to play guitar. I think of you whenever I do my ethnic cooking. These are all things that I wish that I could share with you now. I never realized how much you influenced so many people with your sense of humor and compassion. I have NEVER forgotten how supportive you were when Herb died. You will always be in my memories right alongside with Herb.RIP dear friend....

Jone (as we spelled it).

Just want you to know that we look at your painting of Glacier Nat'l Park's Lake McDonald that is hung above our piano and think of you often. Today I was looking up physicians online and decided to "check you out" too. Nice to see you as if you were still on this earth. Wish you were. You were always so kind. I still think of how you called me, "Dr. Sprout, M.D." as we joked about it. Bon speaks of you all the time too. Joan II (as she refers to herself) is always keeping us up to date with her thoughts of you and how much she misses you. You are in MANY hearts, but especially with your Joan. Just wanted to leave you a note and took this space to do just that.
Love you Jone.

Bonnie and Sprout

Joan, I missed you more today. Your name was on the giant screen at the American Academy of Neurology meeting in Los Angeles. You would have rolled your eyes.

Your dry sense of humor helped make residency tolerable.


The funniest thing that has ever been said to me was said by you. You will live on in our hearts and minds.

Steve

Joan, I honor you today. I reflect upon the many wonderful years we had together and as you said shortly before you died, "We built such a wonderful life together, I just want more." You have been gone from me now for 18 grueling months. Your absence is such a painful presence. You are missing from my life and you were such a rare and precious gem. Joan, you were such a delightful and remarkable person, it is no wonder that your absence feels like the whole universe has gone dark. Your smile brightened my world every day for over 13 years. Thank you for that, Joan. I love you deeply and forever. Your Joan

My dearest Joan, you have been gone now for 17 months and I miss you more every day. I am remembering in detail your last few days even though at the time we didn't know they would be your last days. Your death came so suddenly and so quickly, I still feel stunned by it. I also struggle to make sense of a world without your presence. A world without you feels so empty and hollow. I would give anything to see your bright gorgeous smile again. I will love you abundantly, Joan, for the rest of my life. Joan

Seems like you have been gone for such a long time. I miss your presence.Can still remember your soft laughter.You would be proud that I have started oil painting and restarted guitar.Wish I could share these things with you.Your picture is in my bedroom next to Herb.Two of my favorite people who continue to inspire me and who I miss every day.

Even though our friend Joan is not physically with us Larry and I continue to think of her as present. Through the delightful memories that make us smile, our photos of her, her painting that hangs in our home, and our love for Joan 2 who remains, and is one of the best mentors in my life in devoted love and selfless commitment, (and here I thought I loved Larry!). And honestly, a mentor in how to grieve, because we all have to at some point in this human journey, and as painful as it is for Joan, she's doing it the right way. It's a lot of hard work but she's sharing the journey. I hope in some small way we are helping.

Even though there will not be a guest book to write memories of Joan after August 4, I will always continue to remember and cherish the times we had together. Joan will always be in my heart.

Joan, a year ago today was the second worse day of my life. Early that morning you decided that you could not fight anymore and asked for everything to be disconnected and all meds stopped. I painfully watched as the doctors and nurses disconnected you, disconnected your life, disconnected us. It was both surreal and terrifying. I don't know how you fought as long as you did - you were so incredibly brave and determined. You told me, "The only reason why I want to keep living is because of you - we have built such a wonderful life together - I just want more." I am so sorry you didn't get more Joan! I wanted more too! I now find it hard to enjoy life without you. The doctor thought you would live for 10 days to 2 weeks after they stopped everything. But then you suddenly died just 30 hours later and I was stunned! I am still stunned. Now that a year has passed, I feel like it is time for you to come home. I miss you. Your absence is pure agony. I love you more than ever, Joan.

These days are so difficult - it is almost hard to breathe at times remembering the last days of your life at this time last year. The month of June will be forever etched with pain in my heart. I remember these last days so vividly as if they were just yesterday. I can still say that last year you were here, but not for much longer. It feels like I haven't seen you or talked to you in such an enormous period of time, but on the other hand, if you were to walk into my office right now, saying, "Hey, honey..." it would feel completely normal like you were never away. Daily enduring your absence is very hard and very painful. You were indeed bigger than life itself Joan. I miss you and love you so very, very much.

Joan,
I want you to know that I remember. I remember that you saw trees and heard music for the last time 11 months ago today. You felt my hand holding yours for the last time. You felt my lips upon yours for the last time. You breathed the air for the last time. Your tired heart had one last beat. I held you as you left. I will never be the same again. There is such a gaping hole in my heart and in my entire life. I miss you, my dear sweet Joan. I am flooded with love as I remember you today.

Joan, I want to honor you and your precious life today. Here is a photo of you showing your fabulous paintings at the 2014 Bozeman Art Walk. 2014 was a great year for you. You hiked up a mountain trail for a couple of miles to a gorgeous waterfall in the Tetons. You were doing so well. But the unexpected took your life 10 months ago today. Joan, I am so sorry you lost your wonderful, beautiful life. I love you so much and miss you so very deeply. Life without you holds an emptiness that painfully and continually weeps over your absence.

Joan, I extent to you my deepest sympathies. I just learned of your Joan's death yesterday and was very shocked and saddened by this news. I was trying to reconnect with her (sadly after too many years) as I was excited for my 10 year old budding-artist son to meet her for advise on painting, as I have been humbled by her beautiful portfolio. To become even a fraction of the talented artist she was!

Joan and I knew each other for 29 years; we were both neurology residents at Rush and I have been in her admiration society since then! What a caring and brilliant doctor she was. Her sense of humor was unrivaled. Her impressions of the teaching neurologists were hilarious and spot-on and she could get a whole room of people laughing with her biting (but never unkind) wit. My goodness, she lightened an experience that frequently could be dark and depressing.

I tried to recruit her to my Neurology practice in Boulder, CO when she was looking to relocate West for her love of the outdoors and especially fly fishing. I had a shot; the angling in Colorado is good, but I knew I was sunk when I had her talk to other docs who were anglers and they would ask her where else she was looking and she said "Bozeman"; each of them would get far-away stars in their eyes and dreamily say "Ah....Bozeman". Darn!

I eventually migrated to Montana too. I now have a lovely wife and four 4th-generation Montanan children and understand the incredible beauty and peace of this part of the world. I know it gave Joan that peace as well and I hope you find it again.

My prayers are with you.

Mark Dietz

My dearest Joan,
I honor this day marking the 9 month anniversary of your untimely and unfortunate death. What a remarkable person you were! I miss you SO terribly. I continue to cherish you and the wonderful life we had together. I love you more than ever. I am so sorry you lost your life which you loved so much - you deserved to live much, much longer for many more years. I am forever yours. Joan

Every time I come to Mexico each year I think of 2003 when you came to Mexico with me the year after Herb died.That was special....

My dear Joan, you have been gone for 8 months. The magnitude of the loss of you just seems to get bigger. I miss you so much. I miss our life together. I miss us.

Every day with you, Joan, was Valentines Day. I love you more than words can say. I miss you.

We were taken out to two very expensive japanese restaurants in Las Vegas over the Holidays. One of the dinner bills was $2,000. I said aloud "joan would of loved this." Exotic raw fish, various seafoods, and Japanese beef that was $40/ounce made up part of the menu. I know you would of appreciated the menu as we had our own private chef. I wish you were here so I could call you up and go through our evening dish by dish.Not everyone I told was as impressed with the food as I was and I am sure you would of been. Made my annual chinese grocery run when in the Bay Area at christmas and thought of your chinese grocery list you gave me to buy for you only a year ago. Whenever I cook chinese, I think of you.

Joan,
7 months ago today was your last full day and night. I had no idea that you would die the next afternoon. There are many things I wished I would have said to you before you died. However, I do hope my main message to you was firmly planted in your heart. "I am here." I always promised you that no matter what happened in your future, you would not be alone, that I would be with you. "I am still here, Joan, as a living testimony to our great love and there is still space in me for you." I love you and I miss you more than words can say.

Yesterday was Christmas and we have fond memories of you and Juana joining us for brunch. We know you two would have enjoyed coming over to see our grandbaby Hayden and we would have made you both a special breakfast (sin sal) and some really delicious mimosas. But this year your absence is just too fresh for Joan and she needed distractions so she went to CA to work on her photography over Christmas.
We know you're proud of her as you watch her walking through the sludge of grief. It's a lonely job and she's working very hard.
We love you and miss you. And we love your Joan E.

My Dearest Joan,
6 months ago today I watched you die while I held your hand and kissed your face.
I will never forget you. I don't want to either.
Along with the great sadness that comes from missing you,
lives a universe of gratitude for
having shared love with you at all.
Our connection changed my life.
I'm honored to be able to miss you.
I will love you forever,
Your Joan

Memories of u are never far from my mind. Chuckling as I remember u, me and mom making Glug for the holidays. I miss those times little Poo. I miss u!!

Joan, I placed these 60 colorful luminaries in the front of our home to celebrate your 60th Birthday. I know, I can just hear you say, "Hey! I was only 59!" Well, you did live into your 60th year so I am calling it 60. I so hope you were able to see your 60 Birthday candles radiating all of my love to you. I love more than ever Joan. And I miss you more than I can describe.

Happy Birthday, Dear Joan. I was recently reading something in a neuro journal that reminded me of one of your hilarious imitations from our residency years. After all these years, you can still make me laugh out loud in a quiet room, but at least it wasn't during Neurology Grand Rounds! Miss you!

Happy 60th. I know you saw the beautiful luminaries in celebration. Yes your beautiful spirit will live on.

Joan1, We are extraordinarily grateful to have had your wonderfully funny and poignant friendship in our lives! We are thankful to remain close friends with Joan2, your forever partner in love and in life. We look at your beautiful painting in our home and think of you every day. Remembering you and all of our good times with love and gratitude. Bonnie & Sprout

Missing you horribly little Poo! My first thanksgiving without you in my life, but your presence is very strong in my heart now and always will be. Happy thanksgiving to you in heaven.

Happy birthday, dear Joan. You may no longer be with us physically but you will live on in our consciousness forever!

Joan, today would have been your 60th birthday! You & I talked for many years about turning 60, so I am very sad that you didn't make it to 60. I am so thankful for your presence in this world & I am eternally grateful for your presence in my life. "I am a very lucky girl" as we used to say to each other about our extraordinary partnership.

Sweet thoughts of Joan on her birthday.

Happy Birthday dear Josn! Miss You, your wit, your friendship and a good laugh! Nicky

I'm thinking of Joan today on her birthday; and I'm sending a giant hug filled with love to you in Montana, Joan.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY in heaven my beloved sister!

I want to express my sincere gratitude to so many of you who continue to wonderfully support me, affirm me, and encourage me as I now live with the incredibly painful loss of the love of my life.

I keep returning to this site as my means of communicating with you Poo. I keep your memory tucked away in my heart, keeping you close to me. Just returned from your beloved Santa Barbara...we had a small family memorial event at the ocean for you and mom. You would have loved it. It warms my heart to know how very deeply you were loved by so many! I love you now and always my beautiful sister.

Joan, 4 months ago today, you saw the trees out your window for the last time, you heard my voice for the last time, and you breathed your last breath. The opacity of my sadness thickens as the time increases since I last saw your magnificent smile.

Joan, 23 people gave moving, loving tribute to you in our living
/dining room on October 1st. You had a big impact on so many people's lives and you were a very lovable person who will be deeply missed. We lifted glasses of champagne with many loving toasts to you. And we wore red- your favorite color. I hope you were watching and felt greatly loved and cherished.

I enjoyed the memorial service in Bozeman this past weekend. Not only did we all have a wonderful time, but I was able to put a few faces with the people who have made several comments in this guest book. It did my heart good to meet Joan's Bozeman friends and feel so much love in the room.

The reds in this year have been especially spectacular this Autumn in complementing the yellows and oranges. Several of our friends have commented that it must be in honor of you Joan. Everything I see reminds me of you. I miss you so very much.

Memories of you, my beautiful sister, warm my heart every day. Your presence is still very much alive in my thoughts and my soul. Remembering childhood antics bring a smile to my face and sometimes even a little chuckle. Still trying to come to terms with your absence, but you will never leave my heart.

Today is the 3 month anniversary of your death Joan. I have been finding your absence so difficult to endure. I am missing all of our outings this time of year looking for good fall colors to paint and photograph. I would do anything to pack our gear in the car tomorrow and go for a drive with you down some dirt road. As we have done every September, we would "Ooo" and "Aaah" out loud together at the brilliant backlit reds & yellows splashed at random around the dark green pines.

Thinking about you all day and missing you horribly. Still haven't accepted the harsh reality that you are gone from my life. I would give anything to hear your beautiful, musical laughter and watch you slap your knee when laughter totally consumed you. I love and miss you little Poo.

Missing you little Poo. Awaiting the traditional birthday card and phone call with Marilyn Monroe vocals that will sadly never come. Think about you every day! The void in my life is immense.

Lit a candle this afternoon. Remembering today. You have been gone 11 weeks Joan. I miss you terribly.

I remember. I lit candle today and honored the sacred day 10 weeks ago when you passed from this world Joan. I am so happy you are no longer suffering. Joan, I deeply miss you and I will love you forever. forever.

Another memorable photo. The Joans on Christmas morning 2006. Joan had just retired from her medical practice. She was starting a new chapter in her life where she would and I would do some traveling and she would grow as an artist and paint many incredible paintings and win national awards. This photo captures that turning point. Click onto photo here to see it bigger.

Still seems like a bad dream. I miss.you more each day. I can still hear your beautiful laughter.

Joan, I lit a candle today to remember that you took your last breath of your remarkable life 8 weeks ago today.
The loss of you has been mourned by me and by many others ever since.

Here is another one of my favorite photos of Joan. We were on a trip to the Bitterroot Mountains in Montana. Joan was painting the beautiful view at Como Lake. She was in her element and her happiness radiates from her beautiful smile. You can see this photo bigger in the Photo Gallery.

The last time I saw little Poo, October 27, 2015, she was sitting in my kitchen drinking tea. As she left, she backed over a bush at the edge of my driveway. I heard the branches crack and watched as it bent to the ground. In true form Poo began laughing hysterically and sped away. Part of the bush survived and is thriving. A true testament that her spirit lives on. I miss her!

I miss Joan every day. Every time I take a deep breath I remember how such a simple thing was so difficult for her. I am grateful that she fought so hard for so long to be among us but glad her torment is over. Reading these entries has become the way we all keep her alive in our memories and our heart. She was blessed to have so many wonderful friends who loved her and supported her through the most difficult of times. And of course, she was blessed to have Joan 2 in her life. I never met anyone who was more committed and supportive of her partner. She has been amazing!!

Every time I read a new entry I want to write again as new things pop into my mind or I want to shout out YES! What a hoot! Like those breathy, Marylyn Monroe birthday songs. I don't know most of you but I feel like we're in the sisterhood of the Joans. How sad, gut wrenching, happy, wonderful, and inspiring these posts have been!
And this last one from Bonnie and Sprout; SO true and beautifully said. Thank you for writing such a wonderful tribute to Joan 2! She was Joan's rock...but that sounds so small... she was Joan1's mountain!

I just wanted to add a note about our perception of the two Joans. Not only were they spectacularly suited to one another artistically, they were clearly soulmates on many other levels. How they met: Joan 2's mother brought the two Joans together when she sought out Joan 1 for medical treatment for a brain tumor. Together, the Joans fought for her mother's life and then, quite sadly, grieved her absence. That always made me feel that the Joans' life collaboration was meant to be.
Until Sprout (Nancy) & I met Joan 2 in person, we could tell in phone conversations how happy Joan 2 made Joan 1. But when we finally were able to spend time together in person - fabulous trips to Glacier National Park and Sun Valley, Idaho - we were able to experience firsthand their easy laughter, their similar senses of humor, their shared likes & dislikes (politically, gastronomically, love of nature and human interest stories), artistic enjoyment and, most importantly, their love for one another. Unlike so many couples with whom we've spent time, the Joans were kind to one another and always treated each other with respect. They were true partners, experiencing life together, making plans, having fun, singing goofy songs, and being thoughtful, considerate of, and interested in everyone around them.
When it came to Joan 1's medical conditions, Joan 2 virtually earned her medical degree as she selflessly stood by her love - supporting her, making her comfortable (at the expense of her own needs), serving as Joan 1's communicator with medical personnel and friends, and finding things to make Joan 1 laugh at -at times most of us would do nothing but cry. She also encouraged others to find gifts that Joan 1 would really appreciate such as funny stories or photos. This helped friends of the Joans' also, because none of us knew what we could possibly do.
True that Joan 1 was courageous and doggedly determined in the face of an increasingly dire prognosis, so too was Joan 2 courageous and exceptionally gracious as she fought for Joan 1's wishes when she could no longer fight for them herself. Now, as too young a widow, Joan 2 has been left to pick up the many complicated pieces of Joan 1's fully-lived life and to figure out how to go on without the soulmate, playmate and life companion who delighted, loved and completed her. We are holding you in our hearts, dear Joan 2, during this unimaginably difficult time.

I met Joan when she was my neurologist and diagnosed me with MS in 1998. Eighteen years have gone by, and I am still doing well on the regimen she prescribed. She was a smart, caring and compassionate physician who would take time to listen and thoroughly ponder each case. On one of my first visits, I needed a ride and she took time out of her busy appointment schedule to drop me off. We became immediate friends.
Over the years we hiked, got together for coffee and lunches, and she never ever missed my birthday.
I was honored when she purchased some of my artwork and hung it in her office. Later, I was able to attend her art shows. I was so proud of the painter she became and the amazing talent that she had.
We had similar opinions and outlooks on life, and it was always a joy to spend time with her. Most of all I will miss our discussions, sharing insights, and of course her constant laughter which will always remain in my memory. R.I.P. dear friend. You are now part of the beautiful landscape that you loved.

Remembering 6 weeks ago today when you passed from this world Joan. My world will never be the same as you have left a huge void. Joan, your presence was so big, so full and so wonderful. I am happy for you that you are now free of your damaged body that kept you constrained. You were both too large and far reaching in spirit for such restrictions. You finally escaped and are free at last! Be patent with me Joan while I languish in your absence. I will always feel the strength of your love for me and for that I am eternally thankful.

I met Joan in 1997. At that time Dr. Herb Prussack was kind enough to let me share the office with him to start my practice. Joan came soon after and the three of us shared one small office and 2 exam rooms, a rather intimate arrangement. Joan had a Hebrew word-a-day calender, and what fun it was to hear Herb explain the nuances of the words to her, correct her pronunciation and then later hear Joan incorporate the words into her vocabulary. Herb retired and thereafter, I had the good fortune to share an office with Joan for the 10 years or so before she retired. I remember the year she won the lottery for a coveted big horn sheep tag. The bow she took with her was as big as she was. On that trip she did quite a lot of climbing and on one occassion slipped on a slope of shale and tumbled down. Luckily she was only bruised.
Joan and I didn't interact so much socially as we did working along side in the office. There I saw many qualities of Joan that made her the excellent doctor that she was. No question she was intelligent, but moreso, she was hardworking and diligent and unrelenting when it came to her cases. Perhaps, she felt sympathy for her patients because of her own experiences. Typical of a neurology practice, there weren't a lot of cures, more medical interventions to maintain quality of life. I sometimes wondered how she kept her good humor. She had a exceptional sense of responsibility for her patients. I remember a patient who was experiencing muscle weakness. All the data suggested ALS, but she was not content with that. She was on the phone calling collegues and teriary medical centers to be sure that she had not missed a reversible diagnosis.
I am so happy to hear about all the good times that people are sharing. However, I will tell you that the symptoms of her heart failure did not happen overnight. After Herb retired, she was the only neurologist in Bozeman and essentially was taking call all the time.She always had a full clinic. Many days in the later years, she would be working late, making phone calls and finishing notes, but looking completely exhausted. She showed so much strength and determination. I cannot remember even one time she complained of feeling bad. As she became weaker, she struggled so much with deciding if the time had come for her to retire. She felt that others would see her as a quitter if she did. She was a fighter then and a fighter to the very end. Also, not least of all, I enjoyed our talks about spiritual things.

I am so glad that she was able to have so many good experiences during her retirement. Joan2, we all love you so much for bringing Joan's joy over the years and appreciate all you did for Joan when she needed care. She would want you to be happy, so don't forget that.

Joan, you're not really gone to me. Living in Florida now, it feels to me that you are still in Montana, doing all the things that you love to do. You said to tell everyone that your heaven was on earth, and Montana is heavenly, so maybe you still being there is not too far from the truth.

See ya next time.

She was a wonderful person and a great sister it so sad that she was taken from us way too early

Crying as I write this...I miss my beautiful sister every minute of every day. A lifetime of memories flood my mind but the memory that always plays over in my mind, is the wonderful time we spent visiting Yellowstone in 1998. We spent hours in Herb's old truck laughing at everything and anything. I take some comfort in knowing that she enjoyed her time here on earth and made the best of a devastating health condition and never allowed it to get the best of her. She adjusted her activities to accomodate multiple health set backs. Little Poo will live in my heart forever!

I am grateful to have known Joan from first meeting her medical school and over the years I have appreciated how she embraced living to the fullest. First would be the interest in learning something (medicine, sports, cooking, art...), order the magazine or book related to the activity, buy the outfit and equipment, take the lessons and then master the skill. She had so many amazing talents and gifts. Her humor could be dry and mischievous and she laughed/giggled so easily. She had an accent at the ready. She often used words of endearment. Because coffee sustained us in medical school and residency, we called each other "Cuppy" since we so often asked each other "would you like a cuppy of coffee?" I think of her daily as I look at the picture she painted that hangs in my home. I hold her in my heart through connections with others who are a part of my life because of her and remember the times we shared together. Joan2-I am so glad she had you to be her rock through the last part of her life.

I first met Joan when she came to Bozeman to interview for sharing an office with my husband Herb Prussack. I found her to be quiet and reserved. My husband took an instant liking to Joan and their professional and personal relationship blossomed. I became friends with Joan as we shared a common interest in fishing and the outdoors. I soon began to see her never ending sense of humor. She could imitate people to no end. Mainly I grew to love Joan's compassion for other people. She never complained about life or her health problems, and was always the first to ask how you were doing. When my husband passed away in 2002, I remember how she was there to support me. They had a special relationship that I had never seen him have with anyone else. To Herb, she was simply "Joannie".I think of Joan every day. I have a picture she painted of my husband that she gave me for my 60th birthday. I will miss Joan's physical presence of not being able to talk or see her when I want, but she will always be a part of me. I am honored to have known her and thankful for the impact she had on my life.

Remembering with deep sadness...Joan, you died 5 weeks ago today. Your absence seems impossible to bear. I miss you Joan more than words can say.

@Shirley - I knew you would provide the missing links. I do recall sitting in the back seat with Dalia but couldn't remember who was driving. Yes, on our way to Colorado.

I met Joan briefly when I was a medical student doing a rotation in neurology at Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn, IL. She was a 4th year resident then and I recall walking into the neurology resident's conference room on the Neuro floor and she was imitating one of her attendings in a room filled with residents and students...She had the attendings accent and manner down perfect and everyone was laughing. I could tell from the minute I stepped in that room how everyone looked up to Joan, found her fascinating and how much they all loved to be around her. I will never forget that day...I did not know who she then. It would not be until several months later, when I became a resident at Rush, that I had the opportunity to really get to know Joan. She was so full of life, open and honest. She was so loved by everyone she came into contact with. As many have pointed out, she would research and then try to master whatever caught her interest (especially if the activity or sport came with equipment or outfits). We had such great times fly fishing in Colorado, Idaho, and Montana; road trips in Idaho, Montana, Colorado and the Oregon coast; River rafting on the Bio Bio with Dalia and May; skiing at Sun Valley and Big Sky; hiking and camping in the Sawtooth mountains. Her talents were vast and her curiosity, love of life and food were even bigger! I love how she had pet names for friends.

I am so glad I also had the opportunity to meet Joan H and get to see their relationship grow. I know that the 13 1/2 years Joan H. and Joan were together were her best years!

Joan had a heart of gold and I feel so blessed to have known Joan for 25 years...I will miss her all the days of my life!

@ Editha - I'm pretty sure we were in Nebraska making our way to Colorado. Joan was driving and she wasn't paying any attention to the gas gauge. Dalia & you were sleeping in the backseat & I was up front. I woke up to realize the gauge was on 'E'. We were incredibly lucky that gas station appeared out of the blustering snow & howling wind. I did have a sick feeling that we were going to be stranded. Someone was watching over us that day.

It has been incredibly hard for me to accept knowing that Joan Murray is no longer here; writing this was one of the hardest things I have done in years. I am writing this for Joan2, who wanted to hear from the community of people whose lives were affected by Joan.
I met Joan when she was 16 (a senior) and I was 15 (a sophomore) and we both joined our high school tennis team. From the first meeting, we clicked as friends, and became best friends over the next year.
What made me want to hang around with Joan at first were two qualities. One, as others have written on this page, was that Joan had a wit that was unique and hilarious. She could express more with a raised eyebrow than others could with words. The other was that she was very intelligent, and was curious and interested in so many things, and wanted to learn more about them all.
With tennis, she showed her habit of immersing herself in an activity to strive to become the best at it. The summer after her senior year of high school (after she graduated and tennis team was over), she and I played tennis at least five days a week for between two and seven hours per day. And often our games stopped as we laughed hysterically at something she said.
Her bike riding also really began in earnest that summer after her senior year. We would ride into Chicago, to the lake or to different neighborhoods, or north on the bike trails. In those days, before bike outfits had really caught on, she wore shorts and a tee shirt!
Joan brought out the best in me as a person; it's my belief that she did that for others, too. She was very serious about the important things in life, but found laughter in the midst of them, and often in spite of them. She helped me, a very serious young person, to lighten up, and for that I am forever grateful.
Joan was fiercely independent as a teenager, and asked why rather than accepting the status quo. The way the world had always been was not the world she lived in; she believed in better ways and in a better world.
Joan and my friendship evolved into a relationship, and when Joan went away to DePauw in Indiana we stayed in touch with visits and voluminous letters. Her letters were sprinkled with her drawings and cartoons, usually of a funny nature, but sometimes of a natural setting in Indiana. Reading them was like reading a book with professional illustrations.
When Joan was diagnosed with Hodgkins the first time at age 19, she dealt with it in a way well beyond years. Her family didn't.. However, Joan took the diagnosis as a task to be addressed, a situation to resolve. Being with her while she underwent treatment and was sick, watching her lose weight, and watching the very active young woman I loved spending most of her time in bed or in a chair was hard. I was there every day, which was hardbut as hard as that was for me, that was nothing compared to what it was for her. Throughout the treatment she never lost her sense of humor, and she never lost hope. One story illustrates this. Joan's mother would make her banana milkshakes several times a day and bring them in her bedroom; Joan did not want them as her taste buds were affected and they did not taste good. But she would always thank her mother, pretend to drink them while her mother was in the room, and then I would later go into the bathroom and dump them outand then we would laugh. Even in the midst of her own medical battle, Joan understood that her mother had to do something to help her, but Joan also saw humor in it.
When Joan was diagnosed with a recurrence of Hodgkins a few years later, the treatment was even more harsh, and she was hospitalized in Chicago. This was the treatment which damaged her heart, but which also kept her alive for a long time. I'd ride my bike to visit her at the hospital, and on the days she was feeling a little better I'd take her outside to the parkway across Lake Shore Drive and she would drink up the fresh air, and watch the trees, and see people doing all the things she lovedbicycling, carrying tennis rackets, walking dogs. When I read Joan2's emails to us about her taking Joan to sit in a space at the hospital in Minnesota where they could see a lake I was reminded of how much healing there is in nature, and how Joan always knew that.
Joan was young during these two bouts with Hodgkins, in her late teens and early twenties, and talking about dying and death was something that we had not anticipated having to do until we were really old, but we did it. She talked about it bravely and thoughtfully, she dealt with anger and fear, but she also faced it with humor. She taught me a great deal about living while she was facing the possibility of death.
Joan eventually moved out of Chicago, and we would reconnect through the years, sometimes in person, more often by mail or phone. And she would sing me that lovely rendition of Happy Birthday every year, which I will truly miss. We would pick up our conversation after a hiatus of months or more, talk about the changes in our lives in terms of partners, jobs, moves, and family illnesses, and I would ask her for advice and she would ask for mine. I knew I could always trust her to be honest and that she would tell me what I needed to hear, which wasn't always what I wanted to hear!
When Joan started talking about Joan2, and continued to do so over the past 13 and one-half years, I was so happy for her. She found a partner who nurtured, loved, and respected her, as well as being a traveling companion, a fellow artist, and someone who approached life always with curiosity. I am comforted by knowing that Joan was with Joan2 through her last illnesses, and that they faced that time together.
I am lucky in that I have two paintings of Joan's. In those and in all of her art work I see her love of nature, and he understanding of its importance in her life. And I see the glow which Joan2 wrote about. She captured the very life and light of the thing or place which she paintedcaptured is perhaps the wrong wordshe reflected that life and light back to us. And that is how I think of Joan alwaysfilled with life and lightbuoyed by the beauty of the worldaware of its sadness and tragedy but focused on the preciousness of every second. Annie Dillard wrote How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. I think of how Joan spent her days in Montana or traveling throughout the world with Joan2 by her side, and she was painting and eating spicy food, and laughing, and reading, and exploring. She lived every minute of her life, truly aware of what mattered. I will miss her deeply.

Joan pursued her interests which infectious enthusiasm, joy and mastery. As many have shared, she excelled in whatever she chose to pursue. She was always eager to share her passion for a sport by inviting newbies to give it a try. Whenever I am asked if I ski, I reply, "I have skied a handful of times in my life and have fallen on the best mountains...Park City, Utah and Vail, Colorado." I have Joan to thank for my skiing memories.

During a spring break at Kellogg, Joan, Dalia, Shirley and I drove west for my first attempt at skiing. As we neared our destination, we nearly ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere....literally. I can't recall who was driving; three of us where fast asleep and the first to wake up announced, "Um...the gas tank is on empty..." Well, this announcement roused the remaining sleepy heads, including the driver, and we nervously wondered how we would get out of this predicament because a quick scan of the area we were driving through showed no signs of commercial areas that would provide relief. Then, out of nowhere, like a mirage, a dusty, old gas station appeared. Catastrophe averted! Needless to say, we remained vigilant about having enough gas in the tank for the remainder of the trip.

One day during this trip, Joan thought trying cross country skiing would provide me with some relief from tackling (falling on) the mountains. To this day I am dumbfounded about how we ended up in a black diamond cross country trail on my first cross country ski experience! Joan was naturally leading us and I recall vividly hearing Joan shouting, "TOWANDA!!" as she skied down a hill to keep me laughing and distracted.

When it was time for Joan to start her private practice she vowed she would move West so that she could more readily fish, bike and ski. As the opportunities were presented to her, she would pull out the map of the U.S. and start showing Dalia and me the areas where she could fly fish, bike or ski - proximity to streams, rivers and mountains were as important as the medical practice she would choose to join.

The last time I vacationed with Joan was about nine years ago when we went to visit Dalia in Argentina. I was introduced to Joan 2 then and liked her immediately. One of the sweetest memories I have of this trip was a rainy day the Joans and I spent walking around Buenos Aires. We spent the day walking, eating and talking which was thoroughly enjoyable. That day we had dinner at a typical Argentinian steak restaurant. The three of us were tickled to read on the menu, "Happy ThanksGIVEN." From that day forward, the Joans and I would wish each other a "Happy Thanksgiven" on that fourth Thursday in November.

Remembering Joan now and the times we shared reminds me to take the time to pause, reconnect and create fond memories with friends and family. When I think about her, I will remember her zest for life, her resilience and indomitable spirit.

Dear Joan Murray, what can I say that expresses well enough the support and love I felt whenever I was with you. You were a kind, intelligent, warm and witty woman. You were more interested in hearing what was happening with us than talking about yourself. I am so glad that you got recognition for your wonderful paintings. Susan and I miss your smiling face whenever we are somewhere that we all painted together. We miss you dearly! Rest in peace knowing that you touched our lives and the lives of mant, many others.
Howard

As I read these posts (which are so wonderful!) I realize what a brief time it really was that I knew Joan, but I feel blessed to have had this amazing woman in my life for even a short time. We forged a quick friendship and packed a lot in during this time. It is rare that a friendship is shared equally between spouses, and it is one of the best gifts. I know that my husband shared my love for Joan. Together, he and I looked for and planned opportunities to get together with "our Joans," for dinners, Christmas Day brunches, wine tastings, travel. I have two precious memories; the Joans greeting me and Larry with a welcoming spread of margaritas, salsa, guacamole and chips upon our arrival at our shared vacation rental near Tulum, MX. In that moment, rounding the corner of the house into the breezeway, I can still feel the pure joy of seeing the two of them and the feeling of excitement that we were getting the opportunity to share a special time and place with them. On another day, the same vacation, the Joans and I went down the beach to a next-to-nothing beach bar and each ate a ridiculously large (whole!) fried fish (huachinango) and drank beer, stunned by the beauty and simplicity of our location and our good fortune to be there, laughing together, while Joan and I practiced our Spanish.
Her ability to squeeze all the goodness out of life was evident in everything she tackled. The fact that she wanted to tackle life, learning new things, seeing new places, was inspirational to me.
Joan was no passive by-stander of life or circumstances. She suffered in ways most of us can't even imagine but literally waved it off and chose to laugh in the face of her troubles, then carried on with her characteristic joie de vivre and said with an ironic gleam in her eye (quoting her mother) "Who has more fun than people?" She inspired me to live my life more deliberately, more immediately. Ahhh, Joan...I miss you SO much.

I met Joan after she had moved to Idaho to practice Neurology with Dr. Hammond. I have struggled with what to write because to some extent, I am at a loss for words or maybe it is just in denial that my friend Joan is no longer here to talk to.
I have laughed when reading many of the comments. I, too, experienced first hand Joan's interest in outdoor sports and her need to outfit herself in the latest attire. Upon arriving in Idaho, Joan decided to become a hunter and her desire was to shoot a bear and instead of a gun, she would try a bow and arrow. There would be no wool leggings or green jacket for Joan but rather only the best Cabela's Parka in which she would have a deep interest in the pattern, the fabric and of course the fit. Fortunately, after trudging up a hill or two, she traded in her bow for a shotgun and took an interest in bird hunting. This then led to having the perfect hunting dog, a Pointer, that she named Orion. Bird hunting was short lived and Orion was also not that popular. He was as high stung as they come. Instead it was decided that bow hunting, with pretend targets, and in some competition was the way to go. Next, as Joan was an avid lover of the outdoors, we took up mountain biking. We could, after all, take the lift to the top of the ski mountain in Sun Valley, and ride down. The best specialized bikes were bought and the out fits to match. Did I mention that coming down a ski hill on a bike is treacherous, even if it was summer. Then came handgun target shooting, and a beautiful Lady Smith was ordered from Smith and Wesson. By now, I had known her for about 6 months and we were both tired. A neighbor of Joan's was teaching a paint class. Everyone painted the same picture as the teacher stood in front giving instruction. My interest lasted through one class but Joan's became a passion.
I have fond memories of her love of Thai food "extra spicy" I could never understand her trying to make it through dinner with her nose running and her eyes watering.
Seinfeld was very popular and Joan and I were hooked. Her favorite episode was Kramer and the "Merv Griffin" set. She would slap her leg and laugh until she would practically roll off the furniture. Sometimes, just during random conversations with Joan, one of us would randomly say "The dingo ate my baby" and we would instantly crack up all over again.
I accompanied Joan on her move to Montana. She rented a house that was double the cost as that in Twin and twice as scary. It was straight out of the 70's. Even though it was not the greatest, I still have many find memories of spending time there. She moved to Bozeman and took a job with Herb Prussack. He and his wife Kris were instantly like family. They welcomed Joan into their lives and invited her to their house for her first Thanksgiving in Montana. It was wonderful to witness such a great partnership.
Joan loved Montana, she loved the mountains. She, of course, fly fished in the Gallatin Canyon. One of the last meals I shared with Joan was in Big Sky Montana and it was there that I got to know Joan 2. I instantly liked her. Little did I know then how important of a role she would play in Joan's life. She has been strong stable, articulate, put together, comforting and encouraging throughout Joan's life and I was so glad Joan had found a companion with whom she had so much in common.
I do not know how to end this long ramble that has over taken me. Like most of you, I was stunned at the news of her passing. I will miss most her calls on my birthday, where in her best Marilyn Monroe voice she would sing Happy Birthday. She would normally ask "How are you, Chicken?" and I would respond,..."not to bad Montana.

Dearest Joan, what a wonderful friend you are. I enjoyed our monthly visits, and you always knew where we left off on conversations! You have been a true friend and confidant. I always admired your intelligence, gift of art, and your humble nature. You are greatly missed by me. I will miss our chats, your funny wit. You are a true survivor. An insperation to all. Life will have an empty hole without you. We have memories and your fantastic art to hold on to. A tenacious example you are. I applaud Joan for being by your side I know the trail your dearest friend Joan went through and appreciate the effort, sadness and stress she lived through. You are missed. With love, Nicky