John "Alan" Speer

It has taken me over 13 years to write this. Not because I didn't care, but I suppose I foolishly felt that so long as I didn't acknowledge this, that it wasn't real. Alan was truly one of my best and closest - if not my closest at times - friends from 5th through 12th grade. I pulled away from everyone in Charleston - including Alan - after graduating in '88 and we never really reconnected, but there is no questioning the affect his friendship and presence in my life had on me. He challenged me to not care what others thought, introduced to me to D&D (thank you, Alan!) and we shared our love of comics, the arts and laughing. We were in church, band and chorus together - often inseparable. Thank you, Alan, for the difference you made in my and so many other people's lives. You are missed.

Although I never met Alan, he was a part of my family as John, his father, is married to my mother Grace. Alan was always discussed with fond loving memories. He was a swimmer which we had in common. I listened to glowing stories of his swimming adventures and only wished I would have had an opportunity to swim with him.



To the Speer family, keep Alan's stories alive with your loving hearts.

Dear all who love Alan---



I had no idea that Alan had died until my email of the other day bounced. We only kept in touch sporadically, but I always loved his notes as they were so clever and full of life. I looked forward to seeing him in person again some time. Not on this earth after all. We all miss him.

It's been some years since I have even spoken or conversed with Alan. Nonetheless, I'm very shocked and saddened to learn of his passing. I knew Alan as I attended Eastern IL U. (graduated May 1999) and worked as a student employee in the Dean's Office at Booth Library. The Dean's actual office was in listening distance of Alan's and my conversations which sometimes got loud with laughter. It was always funny when the Dean got mad at us for being too loud.



Needless to say to readers, Alan was a great guy with a sort of personal magnetism that caused everyone to want to be his friend. I will remember our conversations on movies and his time being an exchange student in Turkey (I was an exchange student in Germany). I was also very grateful for the "politically correct" critique he did of what was surely a poorly written movie review I wrote for the EIU student paper.



To Alan's friends and family, I'm so sorry for your loss. In a way, I feel like my comments don't belong here because I must not have known Alan as well as the other contributors. But even after a few years of removal from contact with Alan, I feel strongly compelled to write a little something about how great Alan was. Why does this happen to the best people?

Oh, the memories that come flooding back when I remember Alan! Such talent, humor, intelligence, love for people that fostered unique friendships and such interesting conversations. Margaret, John, Celia -- my heart goes out to each of you. We lost our Catherine last December; I'm sure they are busy comparing notes and renewing their acquaintance. My love to you all.

So sorry to hear of your loss.Celia and i were close friends when we were younger.Have lost touch since.John was small the last time i saw him,but has touched my heart the same.Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Alan and I went to Calvin College together. We knew each other best from the two spring breaks we spent together on volunteer trips to Port Gibson, Mississipi. We had such a great time the first year, it did not take much convincing to go another year. The thing I like the most about Alan was his sense of humor. He laughed at my jokes when no one else would and we seemed to connect on a certain wacky level that I can not describe. He was well liked by all. Often the center of attention - but never overbearing - always fun to be around. Alan loved people, and he loved helping people. Though he had his struggles as we all do, I know from his words and deeds that he loved God and wanted to serve him. I was honored to serve with Alan and look forward to sharing some laughs and memories with him in heavan.

I met Alan in 5th grade, when we were paired for a class project because no one else would work with either of us. He became one of my dearest friends. It is hard to write this because I am not sure I can share what is in my heart. Alan was one of those people who make you feel good about yourself, just by being with you.



Margaret, John, Grace, and Celia, I am grieving for your sorrow. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child.

Dear Speer Family,

I am stunned to hear of Alan's death. Alan visited our family for an afternoon last August in Farmington Hills, Michigan. Although we were not often able to see one another, it always felt as if only a day had passed between us rather than months.

Alan and I first met online in 1996 while I was a graduate student in English at Illinois State University and he was working in the Library at Eastern. We often chatted nightly over four or five months before we ever met in person. Our first in-person "date" was dinner and a movie in Champaign and, I am glad to say, he was a wonderful part of my life from then on.

I have many wonderful memories of Alan and his family (and their hospitality)and am thankful to him for helping me become the person, partner, and father I am today. Without my relationship with Alan, I would not have such a fantastic working model of how to be actively engaged in a romantic partnership that values love, intellect, fun, family, and spontaneity.

My current partner Tim and I wanted to spend time with Alan last summer so he could meet our two adopted children, June and Charlie.

The afternoon was great: Alan was excited by his new Mini Cooper, and also somewhat aghast and fascinated by the kids--he couldn't believe that we had two children under the age of two and still seemed able to carry on conversation. Alan and June loved flirting with each other, a seemingly natural gift they shared.

I cannot begin to tell you what I will miss most without Alan in my life, whether it is facing my next birthday without a specially mixed cd accompanied by a list of movies I should NEVER see or chatting about his latest anime discovery; he was a wonderful addition to my life and I am happy to include him in the list of people I love.

I know his family is suffering from this devastating loss but reading the other entries has been very comforting. It was great to see other folks appreciate Alan's personality and value him as a person in their own lives.

I'm embarrassed to say that I took Alan for granted because I just knew he was always there for me (and always would be) for a quick joke about a bad movie or sharing a blooper from my students' papers (His favorite was the student who wrote about the trauma of dealing with "attention defecate disorder" instead of attention deficit disorder).

I can thank Alan in part for the family I have today and helping shape my worldview. He helped me to understand how to share the best parts of yourself with a partner and how to negotiate the rough edges of a relationship.

We would often just head out for an "adventure" not knowing where we were going or what we were going to do and this is something I still continue to do. I'm just so sad he won't be along for the ride anymore.

My best wishes to Margaret, John, Grace, and Celia. It was a pleasure spending time with all of you and I will carry Alan in my heart forever.

Sincere ly,

Earl Hawley

P.S. Attached is a picture of the last time I saw Alan in August 2004.

It was with total shock and misbelief that I read and reread the emails that Alan had passed. I was checking my email for the first time after a trip to Rome and felt like I had been plunged into dark icy water. The warm feeling of being in a place as magically eternal as Rome rushed out of me.



I met Alan while we both living in the NYC area at a massage workshop. I will always remember the feeling of emotional connectedness that we discovered with each other during the two days. I doubt I will ever feel anything like it again. Alan was such an amazing life force. Of course we remained friends since.



I got an email from Alan quite recently which was full of hope for a change in the direction of his life and excitement about his new Mini Cooper. I don't see how that car could contain his larger than life spirit. I can picture his giant smile behind the wheel.



A light has gone out in the world. No expression of grief can bring him back but the knowledge of how he touched so many people so deeply makes me feel solidarity with all who knew him. Alannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn I miss you.



--Jim

As I type this letter, I still find myself in a state of shock that Alan is actually gone. Alan had so many plans and things he wanted to accomplish, but he was taken from us to soon. I had the pleasure of knowing and working with Alan for the last 7 years. Alan was truly a special person and I am very thankful that I was given the chance to know him. As I read the entries from all of Alan's family and friends, I hope Alan knew just how truly loved and respected he was. In November, Alan asked me to write him a letter of recommendation as he was applying to graduate school at Michigan State Journalism program for the fall semester. In his request he stated he didn't think he could contact his former college professors for assistance as they would probably not remember him. With that statement, I don't think Alan knew just how he touched people and that he will never be forgotten by anyone that he spent time with or had a conversation big or small with. I was honored and scared as I wrote the letter of recommendation for him, because I knew just how gifted and passionate Alan was about his writing and I did not want to let him down. As I gave him the letter I said "take a look and read it over, I hope I did you justice". Alan just smiled as said he wasn't supposed to read them, but that he trusted me and he didn't need to read what I said. Just last week I stopped Alan as he walked past my desk and inquired as to whether he had heard yet. He told me the dead line was that day and that I would be the first to know. As he walked away he turned back and laughed and said I would actually be the second to know, as he would be the first. Alan gave me his awesome Alan smile, that one that would light up a room, and make you feel special just to have receive it, and walked away. I now wish our conversation would have been longer, but I never expected it to be our last. I am sure his acceptance letter has arrived and that Michigan State's Journalism Department will never know what they lost on February 6th. I hope that Alan knew just how much he meant to me. I see by other peoples comments they feel the same way I do, that maybe we didn't tell Alan like we should have how important he was to us. And to let him know our friendship was important and that I enjoyed his company no matter how short or far between it was. I found comfort in a letter I received from my mother last week after telling her about Alan. She stated that when you get to heaven you are placed in a room full of beautiful presents. These presents represent all the love for you from family, friends or even a stranger you passed on the street and just smiled at. I am sure Alan is still opening his presents today and realizing how special he was and how loved he was by the many lives he touched here in his short time on Earth. Alan lived his life the way he wanted and he encouraged everyone to never give up on a dream. He was supportive and was always there with an encouraging word when you needed it. I will miss the emails from Alannnnnnnnnn, but most of all I will miss Alan. He was a wonderful person and in my letter of reccommendation I said I looked forward to working with him again. I know that someday if I am blessed I will see my friend again. I miss you Alan, and I know you wouldn't trade places with any of us for the world. Save me a seat at that movie theater in the sky.

I am filled with extreme sadness and shock over the sudden death of my dear friend, Alannnnnnnnnn. Words can not describe what Alan has meant to me. I can only hope I gave him a portion of that friendship back. He taught me to look at life and situations in a different light. When Alan showed that wonderful warm smile- it was contagious and no mattter who you were, you smiled too. Alan had an angelic presence about him, he just had to walk into a room and all eyes were on him. He brought with him warmth, compassion, happiness and a true sense of being. He was truly the most caring and generous person I have ever met and thankfully he allowed me to be his friend! I treasure every moment I shared with Alan! I just wish I had actually told him how much I cared about him and how important his friendship was to me. I could never be as thoughtful to him as he was to me. He was always there for me, giving his advice,sharing his wisdom,a smile,a hug and making me laugh. He shared in the many joys of my life, my marriage, the birth of my son and he never forgot my birthday. It seems that so many of us shared the same experience with him, he was always giving to us and appears many of us don't feel we gave as much in return. I hope that Alan knew how much he was loved and what an impact he had on so many.

It is hard to believe that God took him from us at such a young age, but Alan's spirit will live on forever in our hearts and thoughts.

We can all cherish him forever by learning to truly live and love life like Alan did. I love and miss you Alannnnnnnnnn!

Dear Speer Family and Friends:

Please accept my sincere sympathy for your great loss. I, too, was at the meet that Sunday and was truly stunned by the loss there of Alan at such a young age. I plan to donate to the Young Heart Scan Fund so that such early deaths might be avoided. I've read the many notes that people have wrtten and make the connection with (veggie hash, too) at GAIA, programs at the UICA,...and Calvin College just swam in the MIAA meet over here in Holland this weekend. His passing is so sad but it reminds me that every day truly is a gift. It appears that Alan was a gift, too, to his family and many friends. We will miss him in Michigan Masters Swimming but we won't forget him.

Sincerely, JP

I knew Alan from school, and we were friends but lost touch until about six or seven years ago when my husband was going back to school to get his teaching certificate. I was the assistant speech coach at the high school and Alan did a lot of judging. My husband told me of this great guy he was working for who was really smart and had great taste in movies. It was Alan, of course, and we all became good friends. We all shared a great love of movies and had a lot in common.



When we all moved, Alan kept in touch through long, lovely, entertaining, barely legible letters that sometimes took me a long time to decipher. We both would joke of our equally horrid penmanship.



He came to visit us last year, and I'm so grateful to have had that precious time with him. We kept in touch lately through e-mails, and I always looked forward to his letters and his film reviews, which I always found astonishingly well written and so observant. He was a fantastic writer.



Alan was one of the brightest, most talented, generous people I have ever known. He touched so many lives, and we will always cherish his memory.

John, Margaret and Celia,

I dated Alan during high school after meeting him at church camp in the summer of 1985. I spent time at your home while we attended dances, stage shows and other events together between Charleston and Catlin, where I lived. We remained friends for years but lost touch in the late 90's. He found me again last year, and it was such a joy to reconnect with each other. I cannot imagine the grief I would suffer at the loss of one of my children, and I am just so sorry for each of you. I am praying that God would meet your needs and place those in your path that might bring you comfort and support. Our God is faithful and true and I know that in His time, he will again bring peace to your heart.

To the Speer Family,

I'm writing this message for my parents Zeno and Ruth Bailey since they don't have e-mail. We are sorry to read about Alan's sudden death recently in the Times Courier Obituaries. Your entire family is in our thoughts and prayers during this time of loss. In case your having trouble plcaing me,My Dad and Alan's dad John were colleagues at EIU.

Dear Margaret and Family:

Alan will be missed by all that he touched. I had the honor to work with Alan at Booth Library and we kept that friendship going through e-mails when he moved to michigan. He was one of the most non judemental people that I have ever met except when he saw someone being mistreated. Alan taught me to not only follow my dreams he taught me to LIVE my dreams. I will miss him so much and there will be a void that can't be filled. My prayers are with you in this trying time.

suellen

I was very saddened and shocked to hear about Alan. My condolences

to his family.



I mostly knew Alan as a teenager. I was three years older than him,

so we didn't really know each other through school. Mostly, we knew

each other through competitive swimming and other extra-curricular

activities, like piano.



People have said that Alan was good at just about everything, and that

was true. My most vivid memories of Alan are from when I was about 15 and he was 12. That year, we swam in the same lane at the Charleston Swim Club, and traveled together to many swim competitions. I was three years older, but he had more natural talent, so at the time we were

somewhat evenly matched.



At an invitational meet in Danville, IL, I came to realize that Alan wasn't just good, he was GREAT! The meet was kind of a big deal, in no small part because the sponsors of the meet were giving out trophies, not just ribbons (age group meets were usually low-budget!). Alan had an amazing meet - he won every event that he entered, against some of the best 12-year olds in that part of the state. Even as a 12-year-old, he was gracious in victory, and never arrogant. I remember him being excited at being able to swim so fast.



I lost touch with Alan after high school, which I regret. Through the

grapevine, I occasionally heard about him going to Istanbul, later

that he was swimming on a college team, and later still that he was

going to film school in New York. I regret that I didn't get to know him as an adult. He was special when he was 12, and it sounds like he was still special as he got older.

Like everyone who knew Alan, I was so shocked to hear of the death of someone so full of life as Alan was. I met Alan in Charleston in 1996, when I was a freshman at Charleston High School. I was on the speech team and he was a judge for our tournaments. Over the course of countless long bus rides Alan and I became good friends, as we shared similar cultural and intellectual interests. He took a genuine interest in me, and his friendship and advice helped me through difficult teenage years. Like Alan, I was an AFS student, spending my junior year of high school in France. He had experienced the myriad of emotions that accompany living abroad, and his letters were a great source of comfort and support for me during that time. Alan even made the trip from Ann Arbor to surprize me at my high school graduation in 2000! That was last time I saw him, but we remained in touch through email.



He was truly a dear friend. I hope to follow in the footsteps of his adventurous zest for life.

A draft of this tribute was submitted on 2/11/05 but never appeared. I have revised the draft and resubmitted it.



This online forum allays the shock of having my new friend taken away so suddenly and introduces me to Alan’s family and worldwide coterie of friends and admirers. Your expressions of love and loss have enabled my tribute. Thanks, too, to the DeVries for posting a picture. I hadn’t really known Alan long enough to have my own.



Alan started swimming with Team Detroit Aquatics last year, and only since October had we discovered our mutual interest in training regimens, competition, getting published, and—yes—film! Alan respected that I had changed careers at age 50. He wanted film criticism to be his career—not his hobby—and was making plans to enroll at Michigan State in the fall to get a master’s in journalism. He claimed he had a dark side, but I never detected it. From my perspective Alan had it all: youth, intelligence, wit, good looks, accomplishments—and a perfect swimmer’s build!



I think Alan and I were moving in the direction of being “road buddies.” We day-tripped to Grand Rapids in early January to brunch at Gaia (yes, he had the vegetarian hash!) and see “Vera Drake” at UICA. He had wanted me to do the meet in Battle Creek with him, but I had made other plans. Alternatively, we put it on our calendars to do the West Bloomfield meet on March 6 (I’ll be there, Alan, and I can visualize you cheering me on from the pool deck).



I had complained to Alan recently about how unavailable I felt he was. In the context of his passing and all the tributes from his friends, I know now how lucky I was to have spent time with him. Alan had this marvelous ability to be “in the moment.” I think that’s why everyone loved and sought his company so much. Furthermore, he listened like a confessor. One could wait ten days for a return call from Alan, but he never rushed the conversation, never felt awkward with pauses or silence, and never pushed to end the connection.



Alan, you’ve enriched my life. I’ll take the lessons to heart. I miss you terribly.

Steve

Dear Family & Friends of Alan -



I met Alan our first day of school, freshman year at Calvin. We both played the flute (he was so much better than me!) While we had little in common (except playing the flute), we became good friends. I always thought he was so much more "fun" than me - but he never made me feel that way. When he lived in Zeta 2, I lived in Lamda 2, right down the hall. Alan walked me home from the library so many times, I lost count. He never failed to give me a great big hug every night. I will always remember Alan's hugs. He hugged with his whole body, not one of those "pat-you-on-the-back" hugs. I always knew I was special after an Alan-hug.



We went to movies together, out to eat together, and visited each others' home towns. We even played a flute duet one Sunday in my hometown church. After college I thought we would lose touch, but Alan is not that way. He wrote to me regularly from New York and, once we both had email, we kept in touch electronically.



I hadn't seen him since our 10-year Calvin reunion in July of 2003, but we talked regularly. I will miss him tremendously, and I wish I had been given a chance to say goodbye.



Goodbye, my friend. I miss you.

To all of Alan's family, please know that you are in our thoughts as you grieve the loss of this very special young man. We cannot, I am sure, know the pain of losing a son/brother at such an early time in life. It would seem that he had so much for which to live, but I can see by reading the guest book entries that he had ALREADY done a great deal, touched many lives and made a difference. Many who live to 90 cannot say as much! We will keep you all in our thoughts and concerns.

I had a wonderful time working with and getting to know Alan. He was a great person with a real sense of life. I will miss him and I am proud to say that I knew him in his short time here. My heart goes out to his friends and family.

My thoughts and prayers are especially with Alan's family right now, but also with all of us who knew and loved him. He was so smart, so funny, and so kind -- but in a way that you didn't realize he was being kind to you until later -- you were laughing too hard at the time.



I am so glad to have known him.

To Margaret and John, my heart goes out to you, fully, at this time of grief. Your son was a truly wonderful man and a devoted friend. I'm a better man for knowing him!

Alan, you will never be forgotten. I will treasure our friendship forever.

To Alan's Family and Friends,



He truly was a deep soul, and for me, reached to the center of my being and stood by me many times encouraging me to "live truth". He demanded nothing less of himself and tolerated and accepted no less from others!







We were all more blessed to have his love and acceptance and had the brief opportunity to share in his life.



His spirit that touched me will live within mine for the rest of my life.



I wish you all comfort and peace.



Randy Lyons

My name is Celia, I am Alans sister. I wanted to write a note to say thank you to everyone who shared a memory on this page. He was a wonderful brother and a wonderful friend. It helps me to know that I am not alone in my grief.

thank you,

Celia (Speer) Lawrence

I remember Alan as one who envisioned a goal and then did it. I remember him as being kind, witty, caring, loyal, intelligent, creative, cheerful, extremely talented, cultured, interesting, energetic, adventurous, fun, funny, and sometimes wacky and off the wall.



I have enjoyed the activities, conversations, correspondence, and friendhship we've shared over the years from as far back as elementary school. I am grateful for his efforts to maintain that friendship and correspondence. I mourn his passing. I will miss him.

To Alan's family and all of the many many people Alan counted amongst his friends, I'm sorry for your loss. I have known Alan since we were in grade school. We were friends in the way that you can be friends and not necessarily always be in touch. I always felt a respect for Alan in the way he dealt with people with generosity of spirit and forthright quirkiness. I had lost touch with Alan over the years, after high school, after college, after life got busy and full. I was pleasantly surprised recently when Alan looked me up and I enjoyed being in touch with him once again. His vision of the world was always energized and animated, he always seemed to encourage people to believe in the best side of themselves. I liked that about Alan very much. What a special man he grew to be. I'm thankful that he looked me up and got in touch. I'm thankful that I knew him. I hope that I learn something from the loss of him.

You were an amazing guy. Wrote magnificent letters. Solid and smart to the core. I hope you are in a good place, with your very own lane. I will miss you mucho.

Marcia

To the Speer family and friends,



I feel so sad for you, especially because he was taken from y'all at such a young age. But I would like to share with you something that Alan has significantly reinforced within me, even in the very short time that I had contact with him.



I met Alan just late last year as a fellow member of our swim team in Detroit. We only talked at length one time, for about 15 minutes, one-on-one, just prior to a swim practice on a Sunday night at Cranbrook. He told me about his recent road trip up north to Canada, how he could drive through miles and miles of the snowbound landscape, how beautiful it was up there in the middle of the winter and be perfectly content as he did so, just happily driving his new Mini. I thought to myself how happy he was, being so independent....but at the same time, as I read entries to this guestbook, that he also enjoyed being around others too and touching others lives in such a positive way. I regret that I did not have the chance to get to know him better. But he has taught me, reflecting back on that brief discussion and reading entries in this guest book, to go ahead and live my dreams as soon as I'm able...to enjoy life, being with friends and be positive, because I never know when God will call me from this world.



Alan, thank you so much for touching me in that way. I will be even more positive to myself and others in my life because of your example.

Alan, I will miss you

It is with a heavy heart that I add my thoughts to Alan's guestbook. Alan was my third grade student at Mark Twain School. He was fun-loving, energetic, very bright, a great student in every way. He was like a little sponge, and eagerly absorbed any new information and especially liked the creative arts. I am very sad to hear of his death; I am very happy to have known this wonderful human being!

Helen Krehbiel-Reed

Thanks to the DeVries for posting a picture of Alan. I hadn’t really known him long enough to have my own picture. And thanks to his vast coterie of friends and admirers for sharing expressions of love and loss in this forum. It allays the shock of having my new friend yanked away precipitously.



Alan started swimming with Team Detroit Aquatics last year, and only since October had we discovered our mutual interest in training regimens, competition, getting published, and—yes—film! Alan respected that I had changed careers at age 50. He wanted film criticism to be his career, not his sideline and was making plans to enroll at Michigan State in the fall to get a master’s in journalism. For my part, what was NOT to find attractive about Alan--younger man, champion swimmer, perfect swimmer’s build? Alan’s dry land stretches before hitting the water made any swim practice memorable!



I think Alan and I were moving in the direction of being “road buddies.” We day-tripped to Grand Rapids in early January to brunch at Gaia (yes, he had the vegetarian hash!) and see “Vera Drake” at UICA. He had wanted me to do the meet in Battle Creek with him, but I had made other plans. Alternatively, we put it on our calendars to do the West Bloomfield meet on March 6 (I’ll be there. Alan will be goading me from the pool deck to my personal best).



I had complained to Alan recently about how unavailable I felt he was. In the context of his passing and all the tributes from his friends, I know now how lucky I was to have spent time with him. Alan had this marvelous ability to be “in the moment” with his friends. I think that’s why everyone loved his company so much. He listened like a confessor. One could wait ten days for a return call from Alan, but he never rushed the conversation, never felt awkward with pauses or silence, and never pushed to end the connection.



Alan, you’ve enriched my life. I’ll take the lessons to heart. I miss you terribly.

Steve

Alan with Kim and Ben photo taken in April 2000

I wanted to send my condolencsences to Alan's friends and family and let you know my prayers are with you in this sad time. As the meet manager of the Harper Creek Masters meet and a long time masters swimmer, I have learned that Alan loved swimming and competing. Next year when we host the meet, we will remember Alan and swim fast. Please accept our condolencsences from all of Harper Creek.

I am so sorry that this wonderful and unique person of talent, kindness, intellect, strength and grace has left us. I knew Alan since we studied together in Paris, and was always touched by his generosity and his appreciation of his friends. I will miss him dearly.

Alan was my first love. I was a sophomore he was a freshman. As I look back at that I see how innocent and very special it was. We dated off and on again for over a year but we were always friends. Close friends. As the high school years passed we danced together for the talent show, were in the press club, speech club, we went to concerts together, and traveled on school trips (he was in the band I was in the flag corps) not to mention the all the other times our little group would get together for movies, parties or just hanging out. Alan introduced me to Spam and Nilla wafers. I introduced him to INXS and The Pet Shop Boys. Even back then Alan as larger than life. He always made me laugh and was great at everything! After high school we went our separate ways we lost contact but I would always keep track of him thru my cousin or friends I had back in Charleston. About a year ago we got back in touch again and it was like we had started where we had left off. Alan still larger than life, making me laugh thru his emails. To his family I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I will miss him so much. Its not fair that he has left us so early but if I know Alan he lived every moment of his life to its fullest and that’s something to celebrate. For the last 25 years Alan has held a special place in my heart and after all this time I still love him.



Cassandra Foster

a.k.a.

Kris Easton

Alan was a dear and loving friend. I had the chance to spend last Friday evening with him. We went to one of his favorite places the Redford Theater to see the classic movie "Mr.Roberts". To see his smile and to hear his laughter just brighten the entire auditorium,but then anywhere he went he'd brighten the place. I recall going out to eat one Sunday morning with him at a small diner in Detroit and as we sat down the waitress came to serve us coffee and said to Alan, "how's my guy from Ann Arbor doing". We looked at each other with amazement and began laughing. The last time we ate at this diner was more than a year ago. Gosh, what an impression he could make on people.



I will always cherish the time I spent with Alan. Seeing movies at the IMAX, going to the Saugatuck Film Festival, going to the frame shop to get his posters framed,looking through his scrapbooks and listening to his stories of his childhood,his time living in Turkey and his years at Calvin. Alan made a big impact in my life. He was always there when i needed advice or just cheering up. He picked me up during some stressful times. What a good friend he was. I will never forget him.

When Alan was 6 or 7 years old, he and his sister, Celia, came to me for piano lessons. Celia was the same age as our older son and those two were friends. Alan was the music teacher's dream: I knew quickly that he had perfect pitch and unlike others, he knew what to do with it. At Christmas, when he was 7 years old or so, I put a duet of Jingle Bells on the music rack and he said "I don't want to play this in the key of C; let's play it in D major; I'll transpose." And he did! One day I looked at him and tears were streaming down his cheeks. I asked what was wrong and he said I had not seen his drawings. My students always carried a steno notebook back and forth for assignments. He always drew a picture so I would see it when he came for a lesson. On that day, he had hid the picture for a joke and was so sad that I missed it. The pictures were full of hearts and Iloveyous.I still have those pages. We loved each other, but what he really loved was music. Play on, Alan! Suellyn Garner

Dear Family and Friends of Alan,



I wanted to express my condolences to all of Alan's family and friends. It's hard to know what to write to express what I am feeling. I lived with Alan in college--Zeta 2, Ardmore street house--and shared many memorable times with him. Many of the stories I remember vividly from my college years relate to things he did or times spent talking and hanging out with him. He had so many wonderful gifts and talents and he always had a way of making you feel happy when you were with him. Alan loved life, and he genuinely loved people--so many people all around the world. As a fellow athlete, he understood how important my running was to me. He was the only friend from college who would call me up a couple of days before the Boston Marathon or some other big race to wish me luck. About a week before he died, he emailed me to let me know that he wanted to visit our family this year, since Pittsburgh wasn't too far away.



The other day, as I was thinking about Alan and what he meant to me, I remembered one time when he told me that he really appreciated my friendship, but that he thought that I didn't really need his friendship. He said that friends needed one another--it had to be mutual. I think he was right, and I still do. I also know I wish I had taken that advice more to heart, and I wish I could tell him how much I need his friendship. I wish I could see him again and let him know how glad I am that I had the chance to laugh with him and to live with him. I only hope I can live life to the fullest as he did. That's what he would want.

Margaret, John, and celia, we are so very sorry to hear of Alan's death. I read some of the tributes his friends have written, and he was loved and appreciated by a lot of people! He will be remembered by a lot of people too, and by us. We are thinking of you all now.

I only knew Alan a short time, but in that time he touched my life with his intellegence, humor, and many talents. I know that our time together was happy for him as it was for me-he was always smiling. His passing is both a tragedy for the world as it has lost his talents to achieve great things and it is a personal tragedy for me as our relationship did not have the time to blossom into what it could have been. I will miss him greatly.

Steve Gittleman

He signed his emails "Alannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"



Alan was a very good friend of mine. I met him almost six years ago when I moved to Ann Arbor (from Battle Creek). Words alone cannot describe Alan well; he was a very considerate, kind, generous, loving person. He always tried to make sure that everybody around him was happy. I always enjoyed his company whether we met for dinner or going out for a night on the town. He always wanted me to try food that I had not tried before but never recommended something he wouldn't eat. He took me out to dinner for my birthday one year and we were at the restaurant for almost two hours. I couldn't believe how quickly time had passed.



There was never a dull moment with Alan. He loved to show off a new hair cut or color and asked my opinion of it. Though he swore he would never own a car because of the cost of insurance and maintenance, he definitely enjoyed driving his Mini. He bought his dream car and the freedom that came along with it. Taking the bus was a thing of the past.



When he set up www.cinemadox.com, he asked me to help with a few technical things. I didn't mind helping him because he was such a great guy. Of course, he stuffed me with some cheese and Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I was addicted to that flavor of Ben & Jerry's for a few weeks. If we weren't hanging out, we were emailing each other. As many people know, he loves to write and it sometimes took me a day or two to completely respond. I will miss him greatly.



He had many friends and many different "families" of which I am happy to be involved. It is good to see that so many of you have responded to share your stories. I think he would be very happy to see this. He would have printed them out and added them to one of his many scrapbooks. A big hug goes out to all of his family and friends. We loved him very much and he will never be forgotten.

Celia and family,

I am so sorry. I have no idea what to say. This was such a shock. My prayers and thoughts are with you and if there's anything we can do don't hesitate to call day or night. I wish there was something more to say or do, but we're thinking of you.

I wish to send my most sincere condolenscences to Alan's family and friends. I can only hope that there is some sanctity taken in knowing that Alan's life ended while he was doing something that he loved.

Alannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Coconut cream birthday pies, midnight subway rides in New York City, lots of gourmet vegetarian food, baklava, Sunday afternoon family bike rides, watching crazy movies together, coloring Easter eggs, lots and lots and lots of email, looking through those Mini Cooper brochures, Alan taking turns with Rick and me carrying Kim and Ben on our shoulders when the walking in New York City was too much for their little legs to handle, hanging out with Mark, flute choir concerts, birthday party time with Lady Chaos, spending a day at Greenfield Village, fun at Splash Water Park, Alan “rescuing” Kim from the stairs of the Statue of Liberty when her fear of heights got to be too much, an introduction to Alan’s favorite vegetarian hash at Gaia Café (Kim thought it was awful), pretending he really couldn’t get away when Kim and Ben at ages of about 5 and 6 tied him to their swing set so he would “stay at our house and play forever” or at least until they had to go to bed, coming over show us his new bike, shopping at the mall, coming to the rescue and driving groceries to Alan’s college house when he realized he bought more than he could carry home on his bike, getting his yearly movie lists, silly email cards, deep thoughts, more gourmet dinners -- Alan loved to challenge me to cook lots of good food for him and boy could he eat it, Mother’s Day cards from Alan (that sure made me feel loved), year after year checking the record boards at Calvin College to see how many of his swim records were still on display, sending each other encouraging emails as we both earned our masters degrees, competition with Ben to see who would wear their water park wrist bands the longest (Alan actually kept it on for about a month before realizing that he might as well cut it off because Ben would never take his off first), Cinemadox, talking with Alan about life, dreams, and hopes while Kim and Ben played on the swings at Mulick Park, going to visit Alan in Ann Arbor, Sobe beverages, ever changing hair cut and hair colors, graduation parties, and etc. I loved Alan dearly. I’m proud to say he was part of the fabric of our family’s life.



In his last email to me he wrote “(the movie) ‘Bright Leaves’ opens at the UICA on February 25, which I’m determined to see. So how ‘bout that weekend? Dine with me at Gaia?” You bet I’ll be there and I’ll save a chair in his honor, and maybe I’ll even take a pad of paper with me to take notes at the movie. Oh how I’ll really miss Alan, but he was bigger than life so I’m sure my family and I will be able to keep the memories alive.

I just want to share my thoughts of sympathy with the family and friends of Mr. Speer. We were there when he passed on. We are so sorry for your loss, and from the letters that have been written, he must have been a wonderful guy. It is so difficult to know what to say, the sorrow is so deep especially when such a vibrant young person is inexplicably taken away. My son lost his friend and co-captain of the our boys swim team last year, suddenly, and our pain is still there. Please accept our sincerest sorrow at your loss.

Laura Drabik, Harper Creek swim parent.

There are no words that can adequately convey the sadness that I felt hearing about Alan's passing. Alan was a wonderful and kind person who always took the time to listen to his friends. How could you not love a guy with a million uses for spam? Alan, the world lost one of the great ones with your passing.

I met Alan in the fall of 1987, when I was a 14-year-old freshman at Charleston High School. Alan was an accomplished and popular senior at the time. I liked him immediately, for his warmth, his intelligence and his sparkling sense of humor, as did scores of my classmates.



Although Alan was three years older than I (a conspicuous age gap among teenagers), he took a genuine interest in me, and I felt lucky to count this worldly young man as a new friend. I was fortunate to be surrounded by many role models as an adolescent, and Alan was among the first I encountered at the high school.



We fell out of touch for many years in the 1990s but had recently resumed an e-mail correspondence in 2004 after I moved to New York City. I had hoped we might someday be able to catch up in person. Farewell, Alan, and thanks.

I only knew Alan for a very short time, and I was shocked and saddened when I heard of his sudden passing. We had lunch with a small group of people the day before, and we all laughed and talked for hours. I was only beginning to discover Alan’s many talents, his love for movies, and his many adventures around the world. I shall regret not hearing any more of his stories. My thoughts are with his family and long time friends.

Alan was one of my dearest friends when we were together at good old Charleston High School--some of the best and worst times for both of us I know: competing in Speech Team, working together on the Newspaper staff, attending the same church--we even double-dated to the Prom. He was one of those people you would dearly love to hate--good at sports, music, academics, writing, drama...pretty much everything he tried he excelled at and was gorgeously handsome to boot. You really wanted to hate him. Unfortuntately he was also a thoughtful, kind, charming man and a good friend as well, which made hating him for all his successes rather difficult.

Though we have lost touch in recent years, he has always stayed fresh in my memory as someone who helped shape the person I am today. I will remember him as someone who strived constantly to better himself. I will remember the way I barely reached his chin when he hugged me. I will remember the way his laughter could fill a room. I will remember that he helped me have a second childhood at the mature age of sixteen. I will always admire the way he seemed to constantly re-invent himself rather than stick stubbornly to routine expectations.

I think everyone he met will feel his absence deeply. He left us far too soon.

I was so shocked to hear about Alan's passing. Although we hadn't spoken for many, many years, I always remembered him with such fondness. His exuberance for life was contagious and his humor warmed my spirit. I regret that I never took a chance to let him know that. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Alan-

How can I explain the feelings that wash over me when I close my eyes and remember you? I remember times like when you and I and Tuna and Jon Bates sang "Happy Together" our senior year. What proud dorks were we. What good times! Late night creeping around c-town, r-p games at Erik's house, discussing the nature of the Universe - these are all things that wash over me. I feel them like a thick, heavy blanket that keeps me warm although I am very cold right now. I feel remorseful, regretful, for missing several opportunities to visit with you in the recent past. You were always the best kind of a friend. I miss you. I love you. Farewell.

OMG!



Alan,



I am so at a loss for words! I know you knew how I felt about you.

I have never met someone that has kept me speechless as much as you had.

You were supposed to come and visit us again this month, but I already know that you are here.

As you are with all of your loving friends and family.

Sleep long and well my friend. You occupy a part of my heart that will pine for you forever!!

Someday we will all be together, wherever that may be.



I love you and will forever miss you, Alan!



Lou

Dear Margaret and family,

How shocked we were to read of Alan's death in the Times Courier this morning. I will always have such wonderful memories of him in Kindergarten. He was an outstanding student and was willing to try many of the things we did for that age level and beyond. I am so sad for all of you that you lost such a wonderful young man so early in life. Since we are in Calif. spending the winter we will not be able to take part in the memorial for Alan. You are in our prayers. Sincerely, Bud and Mary White

I have known Alan for 15 years and he was a dear friend from our time at Calvin College. I can't say enough about what a tremendously loyal and supportive person he is! Alan talked and laughed me through some difficult times. He will be dearly missed by many around the world, as he has so many friends from literally all over the world. Alan loved God and always sought to know Him more, which was also an inspiration to me.

In recent years, Alan lived a lot of his life on-line, so it is appropriate that this 'guest book' exists for him in cyberspace where so much of him will remain floating around indefinitely. Among his many talents, of course, Alan was a brilliant writer, so there's a bit too much pressure to make this entry as smart and funny as his countless reviews (and to use a lot of big and probably made-up words). He was also a very good friend. A better friend to me than I was to him, I'm afraid. It was hard to keep up with his generosity and sense of life. I'm going to miss you Al.