Mari Bender

Mari Gallagher Bender, 71, of Missoula, died in the early morning of October 1, 2025 due to complications from her cancer treatment. She passed peacefully in her home surrounded by her family, as was her wish.

Mari was born to Edward and Helen (Grubich) Gallagher on May 4, 1954, in the small, bustling town of Anaconda, Montana. She was raised with her siblings, Mickey, Ed, and Deb, in what she described as an idyllic childhood. Growing up in the working-class neighborhood of Goosetown, she was incredibly proud of her Anaconda roots as well as her Irish and Croatian heritage. Mari attended school at St Peters and Anaconda Central High School, graduating in the class of 1972. She went on to pursue an education degree at East Montana College in Billings. But as Mari told her kids too many times to count, “It all comes back to Anaconda…”

While returning home in the summer of 1974, she would meet Bruce Bender, the Music Minister at St Peter’s Catholic Church. They would fall deeply in love. Jokingly dubbed “The Lutheran Psalm Singer” by Mari’s father, Big Ed, Bruce would quickly endear himself to the whole Gallagher family. They were married on July 24, 1977, in the very church in which they met. Together they would share 48 years of love, laughter, and friendship.

Their married life began in Helena. Mari got her start in teaching and Bruce made his first inroads into city government. It was here that they welcomed their first child, Bobby. After a brief stop in Bozeman, the young family settled in Missoula in 1983. There they would plant their feet, make a home, and grow a wonderful community of friends. It is also there that they welcomed their second child, Maggie.

Mari was a devoted mother to Bobby and Maggie. She took delight in their learning and growth, and nurtured a love for curiosity, imagination, and finding magic in the simple things. She emphasized the importance of family and of quality time together.

Her only grandchild, River Bender, arrived in September of 2024. She cherished her role as a grandmother, making frequent trips to California to spend as much time as possible with her grandson. Though their time together was brief, Mari’s relationship with River was a beacon of light during the hardships of her final days.

Mari is survived by her husband, Bruce, her son Bobby and his wife Stephanie, Maggie and her spouse Heather, her sister Deb and her husband Mike; her brothers Mickey and Ed; nieces and nephews that loved her dearly, as well many beloved cousins, particularly the Heaney crew, who she adored.

Mari is preceded in death by her parents, Ed and Helen, as well as her beloved cousins, Kay and Marty Heaney.

Mari’s interest in learning and connection to children made her a talented and skilled teacher. She had a way of making things easy to understand while also creating a desire for achievement and hard work. Mari taught in East Helena, at Main Street School in Helena, and spent 13 years as a preschool teacher at the UCCC in Missoula. Mari eventually landed at Russell Elementary School as a first grade teacher where she wrapped up her impressive 34 years in the profession. It is there that she built a loving crew of teacher friends and also where she decided to pursue a master’s degree in education with an emphasis on reading literacy.. Mari retired from teaching in 2017.

In her retirement, Mari loved spending time with family, sailing on Flathead Lake, and enjoying the hikes and walks that beautiful Missoula has to offer. She loved to travel, and cherished the memories of her only trip to Ireland to see her relatives. She prioritized time with her kids, making many trips to both Los Angeles and New York to see her children.

Mari was a wonderful friend, an avid reader, and a maker of povitica. She was a lover of animals, particularly the family’s three dogs, Taffy, Molly and Lucy. She was a gatherer of people, often looking for any reason to bring both the immediate and extended family together. She was a wonderful conversationalist and an avid storyteller - tall tales from Goosetown and comical family adventures. These stories were never shared once, they were fondly repeated, and the stories became richer with each recitation. Her memory was legendary - names, birthdays, family connections, street names, dates - her powers of retention were second to none.

Mari was also a great lover of obituaries, often spending her mornings with a cup of coffee and the Missoulian, reading the stories of the recently departed. She had given strict instructions to her kids to make her obituary a good one; we hope we did you justice, Mom.

The family would like to thank the wonderful staff at St. Pat’s who worked so hard over the past year and in particular the past two weeks, especially Dr. Sorenson and Nurse Kelly LaFlamme.

Mar, we are going to miss you terribly. Until we meet again.

A service will be held at University Congregational Church at 405 University Avenue on Sunday, October 5 at 3pm. Memorial reception to follow with light refreshments.

Mari was a huge advocate for children and social justice. In lieu of flowers, we ask that you donate to one of the following organizations near and dear to Mari: Watson Children’s Shelter, Garden City Harvest, and Russell School Family Resource Center