Mary Grinsteiner

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” Psalm 31:30-31

Mary Wagner Grinsteiner passed peacefully into the arms of her Savior on Tuesday, March 3, 2026, in Brookfield, Wisconsin, after 94 wonderful years of life. She was born on August 16, 1931, in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, and spent her childhood on a beautiful family farm with her parents, Clara and John Wagner, her three sisters and two brothers. From the very beginning, she made the people around her feel seen, loved, and cared for—and she never stopped. Mary excelled in school, with a natural gift for math and a deep love of reading and writing. After graduation, she took a bold step: leaving the family farm and moving to the Milwaukee area, where she eventually became head bookkeeper at the law firm Michael Best & Friedrich. She was sharp, capable, and quietly ambitious long before that was a common or expected path for a young woman from a Wisconsin farm. She married the love of her life, Joe Grinsteiner, in 1962, after meeting him on a blind date the year before. She always said they both knew from that very first evening they were meant to be together. They built a loving home and spent many joyful years raising six children. Mary’s life philosophy was simple: people always come first. Mary was easy to know and easy to love. She remembered the details of people’s lives, prayed for them by name, and made them feel like the most important person in the room. She had a gift for friendships that lasted decades—not because she had the loudest voice, but because she was the most present one.

For many years, Mary bowled in leagues with Joe and their friends, took ceramics and cake-decorating classes, and kept up a knitting club with her girlfriends for more than sixty years. She was also a devoted Brewers, Packers, and Bucks fan right to the end—and if you knew her, you knew better than to say anything negative about Brett Favre. In her later years she developed a passion for genealogy and created a thorough and loving record of the family’s history and the old farm. Mary quietly and consistently devoted her time to others. Through the years, she humbly volunteered with many organizations and found great joy in serving people. She never wanted the spotlight, so we honor that by simply saying she cared deeply and always found ways to help. That same devotion defined her most difficult years. Mary modeled true love in the way she cared for Joe throughout his thirty-year struggle with Parkinson’s disease. She also endured the unimaginable loss of three of her six children during her lifetime. Through it all, she remained the anchor of the family. She held fast to her faith, to her surviving family, and to the God she trusted completely. She was, in every sense, a woman of extraordinary grace.

Mary was preceded in death by her husband, Joe, and three children: Craig Grinsteiner, Beverly Noll, and Gary Grinsteiner. She is survived by three daughters, Gloria (Pete) VanAacken, Donna (Mark) Zilavy, and Mary Jo (Craig) Netzer; her daughter-in-law Sue Grinsteiner; her son-in-law Tom Noll; and 11 grandchildren: Mark VanAacken, Darlene (Paul Bielinski) VanAacken, Tom (Tammy) VanAacken, Naomi Mahan, Dustin Noll, Jewel (Fred) Hosman, Sarah (Jim) Keller, Brent (Brigid) Grinsteiner, Gary (Emily) Zilavy, Zachary Netzer, and Rachel Netzer. She was also blessed with many great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren, all of whom called her “GGG,” short for Great Grandma Grinsteiner. 

The family would like to express deep gratitude to all the friends and family who took the time to call and visit Mary in her final years. The family also extends heartfelt thanks to Jean, Nilah, and Jennifer of Heartland Hospice and the Regency Brookfield staff for the loving and respectful care they provided. 

A visitation will be held on Friday, March 27, at Holy Apostles, 16000 W. National Ave., from 9:00 to 10:45 AM. A funeral service will follow at 11:00 AM. 

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to Meals on Wheels America.

“But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” — John 3:21