Mary Ernish

1930 - 2025

Mary Ernish
Born: November 25, 1930
Died: December 10, 2025

Mary Ernish of St. Helena, CA, who has died aged 95, passed away peacefully on December 10, 2025 in the exceptional care of Adventist Health St. Helena, St. Helena, CA after a sudden but brief gastrointestinal illness.

A devout Catholic who was a parishioner of St. Helena Catholic Church for more than twenty years and a Perpetual Member of the Miraculous Medal of Mary Society, she was constantly concerned about the welfare of others. She is remembered by family and friends for her sense of humor and zest for life, which, particularly in her later years, she lived and enjoyed to the full.

She is preceded in death by her son Joseph, parents Bridget (Byrne) and Owen Roe O'Neill, brothers Hugh, Owen, Patrick, Michael and Thomas, sisters-in-law Anna, Joan, Catherine, Lily, and Anna (Marie), and brother-in-law James Carolan, all of the Republic of Ireland, son-in-law Howard Backen, and former husband Anthony F. Ernish.

She is followed in death by brother-in-law Peter McKenna.

She is survived by her daughters Mary Alice Ernish, Ann Marie (Ernish) Backen, and Elizabeth Ernish, son-in-law Alan Mukamal, four grandchildren, two great-grandchildren and her immediate family in Ireland - sisters Josephine (O'Neill) Carolan and Margaret (O'Neill) McKenna and numerous nieces and nephews.

She was a resident of Napa Valley for nearly 25 years and had lived in St. Helena for some two decades. She was a former resident of Newburyport, MA and Metuchen, NJ.

She was born Mary O'Neill and grew up in the small town of Ardee, Co. Louth, Ireland, which borders Dublin to the north, one of the counties included in and defined in the late 15th century as The Irish Pale. Her father was named for the Irish rebel commander of the 17th century of the same name and was a master tailor and highly successful entrepreneur who also raced champion greyhounds. He was known for consistently putting the needs and welfare of others first. Mary was deeply attached to him and her grief from his premature death when she was just a teenager remained constantly with her. As a young girl she used to jokingly complain to her father that his greyhounds living in outdoor kennels enjoyed central heating while the children residing in the family house did not. Despite the geographic distance separating her from her Irish family back home, she maintained a close and loving relationship with her mother and all of her siblings throughout her life.

Mary was the only one of the eight siblings who emigrated to the United States. In 1952, Mary, age 21, arrived solo. She had come to stay with one of her maternal uncles and his wife who lived just outside of Philadelphia. After a brief time there she relocated to New York City at the invitation of an Irish friend from home, Una, who promised that the lights were brighter and the men handsomer in New York.

Like many young Irish immigrant women in New York, Mary quickly found employment with the famous Schrafft's restaurant chain, which was often featured in Helen Hokinson's cartoons for The New Yorker. Wearing a starched black and white uniform Mary often worked at one of the locations along Madison Avenue. She vividly remembered waiting on infamous attorney Roy Cohn in the Men's Grill and being reminded by the manager, Miss Winchester, to serve the cocktails routinely ordered by two particular nuns ONLY in teacups.

It was New York, where Mary developed a passion for opera. However, it would not be until the Metropolitan Opera House relocated to its present Lincoln Center location in the mid-1960s that she would finally sit in one of its oxblood-red velvet seats. On Saturday afternoons she would often listen to the radio broadcast of the matinee performance.

Mary married in Perth Amboy, NJ in 1960 and shortly thereafter moved to nearby Metuchen, NJ, where she was a full-time mother and homemaker. She was later separated from her husband, began raising her children singlehandedly, learned how to drive, returned to work outside of the home, made many new friends and was subsequently divorced. In 1992 she enthusiastically relocated to Massachusetts to help care for her recently born granddaughter.

She started yet another new chapter of her life when she relocated to California nearly a decade later with her daughter Ann, son Joseph, two grandchildren and her grandson's father, Matthew Connorton. She immediately fell in love with Napa Valley and all its bounty, never tiring of its beauty. Above all, she was deeply devoted to and loved continuing to help care for her two grandchildren.

She was highly knowledgeable about food, had no patience for less than prime ingredients and was precise in her culinary instructions - specifying that she only ate dark chocolate, not milk and insisting her bacon was always cooked crisp and that her water contained no ice. For more than fifteen years before her death Mary called Silverado Orchards in St. Helena, CA her home. Here, she led a very happy and fulfilling life participating in many of the activities and outings generously offered by the Baldwin family, assisted by their loyal and attentive staff. She made many new friends and was well-liked and admired by many residents who remember her generosity and kindness. In her later years she was known for her perfectly color-coordinated ensembles, which always required a matching pin or scarf and lipstick. Her devoted primary care physician for over a decade, Tara Scott, MD, recently described her as, "looking like a bonbon - she was primped and prepped to perfection every time I saw her."

For almost 13 years, her eldest daughter Mary Alice was her primary caregiver and assistant. Over the past year she also received the loving and compassionate care of several local caregivers and, more recently, outstanding at-home skilled care by Sutter Care At Home. She remained living in her home at Silverado Orchards until just before she passed.

Per Mary's final wishes a full Catholic Burial will be held. Funeral arrangements entrusted to Morrison Funeral Chapel, St. Helena, CA and are as follows: Tuesday, January 6, 2026 - St. Helena Catholic Church, 1340 Tainter Street, St. Helena, CA; 9 a.m. Vigil and Rosary; 10 a.m. Funeral Mass followed by Interment at Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery, 2121 Spring Street, St. Helena, CA. For condolences and inquiries please call or text (707) 396-6788. In lieu of flowers, donations to assist with funerary expenses may be made through the Everloved.com website at https://everloved.com/life-of/mary-ernish/? qr=1