Carl Williamson

1964 - 2017

Carl Marden Williamson

July 8, 1964 - December 16, 2017

Pittsboro

I lost my best friend, beloved husband of 31 years, and dedicated father to our beautiful twin boys on December 16, 2017. Carl was a devoted fan of West Ham United Football Club, lover of music, mediocre domino player, fair-weathered fan of UNC basketball (he would have been most upset at their recent loss to Wofford), occasional enthusiastic gardener, sore loser, and intermittent fashionista.

He was frequently caustic, and my kids and I often cringed at what came out of his mouth - but he was also passionate, caring, had a generous nature and could make me fall down laughing.

Besides his wife Denise, Carl is survived by his children, Owen and Elias, his dog Mickey, and his mother and father, June and David Griggs. He was previously deceased by his dear grandmother, Mary Baggott aka "Nan", and his biological father, Ben Williamson. He is also survived by his in-laws, David and Sylvia Svendsgaard, brother-in-law Butch, sister-in-law Lisa Krise, along with nephews, Jack, Harry, Trey, Griffin and Gus. He leaves behind his band of brothers from the Royal Navy, and the family of friends we met through our kids.

Born in Orsett, Essex, England on July 8, 1964, Carl grew up primarily in or near Stanford-le-Hope. He also spent a couple of years in New Zealand and Australia. He graduated with enough O-levels from Thorp Hall School in Southend-on-Sea to pursue going to University or becoming an officer in the Royal Navy.

Following his desire to leave his home and travel, Carl took a faster route and enlisted in the Royal Navy two days before his 17th birthday, July 6, 1981, where he bunked beside Wayne Smith, aka "Smudge", who become a brother and lifelong friend.

Smudge explained that Carl earned the nickname "Wally" since that went with the surname Williamson, but also because he could be a "right Wally" at times by getting into trouble with officers by not knowing when to keep his mouth shut. Smudge said "Carl had a way of making me laugh. As fresh faced young sailors, I wouldn't have had the nerve to question what an officer would tell me to do… but Carl, with his (sometimes misplaced) confidence, would question the order, and with his (sometimes strange) logic, have the officer either doubting himself, or throwing him into a rage." Carl surmised that the Navy granted his request for early release after he questioned an order to scrub already clean floors at 2am. Carl did not pursue becoming an officer.

I met him in St Thomas, USVI, in 1984, less than a year after I broke my neck. He was on a ship en route back to England after patrolling the Falkland Islands. I was surprised that anyone would be interested in me, as much of my hair had fallen out while I was in the hospital, unable to move for over three months. But we were inseparable during the 3 days we had together in St Thomas, and we parted ways with him claiming he would marry me someday. Married in 1986, we called each other "best friend" until our twins were born when we started calling each other "mom" and "dad".

His pursuit for higher education was put on hold for several years after we first got married, during which time he became a hair stylist, and then part owner of the business in Chapel Hill. When an opportunity arose for me to transfer to San Francisco in 1996, we jumped.

At San Francisco State University, he completed a bachelor's degree in history that he had begun at UNC, and subsequently received a Juris Doctor (JD) degree from Golden Gate University. Carl often used the authority bestowed by the JD to support that "sometimes misplaced confidence and strange logic" - asserting his opinion in a way that others often found equally charming, infuriating, thought provoking and memorable. We left San Francisco soon after our twin boys were born in 2002, and moved back to NC.

Before getting my first wheelchair, Carl routinely carried me in his arms, through cross walks and down city streets. A consumate caregiver, he carried me into the house when the weather was bad, and upstairs when I was too tired to walk.

After getting the wheelchair, he used it as a "warning shot" to any discourteous people who decided to cut across our path. I routinely had to play the innocent victim caught in the middle of an ankle grazing. Let's just say the spice market in Istanbul provided a target rich environment for Carl.

Carl's driving and parking abilities left much to be desired, but in spite of this, he was confident to a fault. He called the lines on a road "mere suggestions". He was frequently pessimistic, highly competitive, easily annoyed, and lacked patience. We found his impatience hilarious at times, especially during domino games spent waiting for Elias to assess who had which dominos left. One of my favorite memories is from the state fair when Carl became enraged as his bumper car got stuck and he couldn't move (he also considered himself a world class bumper car driver).

We embarked on a great discovery of food together as we shared the delicacies with which we had each grown up. Carl introduced me to cockles and whelks from Leigh-on-Sea, Indian food, and brussels sprouts. He loved the southern traditions familiar to me, especially the cornbread, field peas, and okra. He loved cooking, and mastered English pancakes, roast dinners, my grandmother's skillet cornbread, and Benton's country ham. On regular rotation was a curry, which we referred to as Erik's curry, based on a yellowed and tattered recipe (from turmeric and age), that we acquired in 1985 when we visited one of Carl's cousins in Los Angeles.

Together we travelled the highways and meandered the back roads in search of eating adventures - a lifetime of great memories. Recently we revisited some special favorites - a picnic table beside Tomales Bay at Hog Island Oyster Co, and savoring shawarmas from Truly Mediterranean in San Francisco. There are too many other memorable road trips to mention, however we are hoping someone will accompany the boys and I to return to Cantler's Riverside Inn in Annapolis to crack blue crabs.

Carl loved music of widely different genres - this included early favorites from growing up during the punk era in England, along with a nod to mods (a British style movement) which influenced his love and appreciation for American soul music and ska.

Music was an early connection for us - when we met, he shared his enthusiasm for David Bowie, Joy Division, The Jam, and The Specials. Together, we felt fortunate to see Nina Simone, John Lee Hooker, Hazel Dickens, and Joe Strummer, and many others.

As friendships developed through our childrens' peer group, we discovered they were avid music festival aficionados. Carl began taking Owen and Elias to Shakori Hills, where they have grown up enjoying the camaraderie of festival camping, tailgating in a meadow, and playing with friends. Music was always in the background for our adventures.

We lost Carl on December 16, 2017. We honored his wishes to donate his organs, and in lieu of gestures to our family, I would ask that you consider donating your organs, and ensure your loved ones are aware of your wishes. Should you choose to make a donation before you're ready to part with your organs, a charitable donation could be made in Carl Williamson's name at Hawbridge PayPal, or mailed directly to The Hawbridge School, PO Box 40, Saxapahaw, NC 27340 (please denote Carl's name in the memo). The Hawbridge School is a 501(c)(3) organization.

Our lives will be quieter and more boring without Carl, but we have been comforted by the outpouring of support we have had from relatives and friends far and wide, and knowing that Carl loved us very much.

A memorial service will be held at 2pm on February 3, 2018 at the Haw River Ballroom in Saxapahaw, NC.