David Hayes Permar

1943 - 2022

David Hayes Permar
June 5, 1943 - June 21, 2022
Raleigh, North Carolina - David Hayes Permar, champion for his family and understated, highly engaged community member, passed away peacefully at his home in Raleigh on Tuesday, June 21, 2022, with his wife of 53 years, Ann, by his side and bluegrass music in the air.
He'll be remembered first and foremost as a devoted son, brother, husband, father and grandfather. He loved his chosen home city and state, and took advantage of all Raleigh and North Carolina had to offer, while also giving his time and efforts to preserving and improving them for future generations. He loved family trips in a big van, live folk and bluegrass performances, the outdoors, history, sailing, practicing law, and long-term, stable, slow growth investment strategies. He was particularly fond of his community of friends at First Presbyterian Church; Hatch, Little & Bunn; and Capon Springs & Farms. And he was keenly aware, even while experiencing diminishing mental faculties, that everything is better when there's an ice cream stop involved.
Born in Columbus, Ohio, David was the son of Esther and David R. Permar, (Commander, U.S. Coast Guard). Because of his father's work, the family moved often and David grew up in a number of places, including Hawaii, Massachusetts, New Jersey and Virginia. He graduated from Blair Academy in 1961, began his undergraduate education at Duke University and graduated from the University of Maryland in 1969. In between he served as a Captain in the Army and worked in the Army Intelligence Corps, specializing in Mandarin Chinese and Electronic Intelligence. Also during this time he met Ann, both then employed by the National Security Agency. The couple were both highly intelligent and spoke so little about their roles and responsibilities at NSA that it has been deduced by their family that they were likely spies of some sort.
He earned his law degree at The George Washington University, after which he sought a more permanent place to call home. He and Ann, with their eldest daughter Lisa, found the perfect fit in Raleigh, where they moved in 1972 when David was hired by Hatch, Little & Bunn. At the law firm he enjoyed practicing municipal, insurance and environmental law and worked scrupulously on behalf of his clients and community. Many of his law associates were also good friends and he valued all of the firm's employees. He even had great affection for the property at 327 Hillsborough Street itself and cherished his role as firm parking lot manager, much to the dismay of many patrons of The Flying Saucer who failed to read signs. He retired his partnership at the firm in 2017 after 45 years. Professionally he was a member of the Wake County, North Carolina and American Bar Associations, the Transportation Lawyers Association and the North Carolina Academy of Trial Lawyers, and he often helped friends and family members in need of legal services (though he was known to overcharge his children for handling their speeding tickets).
Outside of work, David was a dedicated member of First Presbyterian Church, where he served numerous roles and often lended his legal expertise. He was a Deacon, an Elder and Elder emeritus, a high school Sunday School teacher, a longtime member and past president of the Vanguard Sunday School Class, and, after becoming a grandfather, "that volunteer nursery worker who keeps giving the kids temporary tattoo stickers to put on." He also took on the unofficial role of historian of the 200-year old church, helping to spearhead an effort that produced the book "A Cloud of Witnesses" by Glenn Jonas, which documents the church's story from inception to present day.
Other organizations he worked with or served on the Board of Directors for over the years include: Theatre in the Park (President of the Board and cast member in Ira David Wood's "A Christmas Carol"), Presbyterian Homes, Raleigh Rotary Club (faithful bell ringer), Raleigh City Cemeteries Preservation, Carolina Sailing Club (Tanzer 165), and the Triangle Greenways Council. He also served a term as Chair of the City of Raleigh's Telecommunications Commission where he supported equal access to technology and communications and memorably went toe-to-toe with Dan Savage and the Sex Kittens live on cable access television.
In his work and volunteer service, he rarely sought positions for visibility, instead preferring to "get the job done" with effort and energy that often went unrecognized.
But nothing was more important to David than his family. He drove thousands of miles to practices and performances of music, dance, sports, academics and other ventures for his three children and continued the trend for five grandchildren. He enjoyed planning and taking big trips with his family, including visits to the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Hawaii, New York, and Disney World. He enjoyed North Carolina from coast to cliffs, particularly the Ashe County, NC, mountains. Annual trips to Topsail Island that included various combinations of his parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, niece and nephew were always a highlight. And the annual trek to Capon Springs & Farms, West Virginiaâ€"including visits to every historical site between there and Raleighâ€"has resulted in lifelong memories and friendships in and outside of the family, but yielded very little in the way of improved golf scores. While he wasn't exceedingly social himself, he seemed to revel in the fact that his wife and children were and took great joy in his family's friends. "Pops" as he came to be known as a grandfather, loved being behind the wheel of the van, bobbing his shoulders while the family sang, pressing to get to the hiking and picnic spot with as few stops as possible.
David was preceded in death by his parents, David R. and Esther Permar and his beloved daughter Lisa Permar Ham. Surviving him are his wife Elizabeth Ann Permar; his daughter Sallie R. Permar, her husband Matt Ferraguto, and their children Sam and Kinsey; his son Hayes Permar and his wife Mary Aiken Barrow; his granddaughters Bailey, Lucy, and Annie T Ham; his brother William A. Permar, his wife Gayle and their children Camille and Stuart; and his sister Susan K. Permar.
A celebration of David's life will be held at First Presbyterian Church of Raleigh on Thursday, June 30, 2022, at 2:30 PM.
Memorial gifts may be made to the First Presbyterian Church Foundation, 112 S. Salisbury Street, Raleigh, NC 27601. Arrangements by Cremation Society of the Carolinas.