Stephen Ellis Assaf

1962 - 2023

Stephen Ellis Assaf, September 13, 1962 – July 10, 2023, 6:55pm New Orleans. Soft hearted, hard working brother…He was a truant in kindergarten…missing a week of school due to a bully in the alleyway…little Huck Finn he was already at five! Stephen did ultimately, cleverly, find a way to circumvent his nemesis, but not before the authorities at Lakeview School filed their missing student report! The third born boy to Evy & Roberto Assaf of Lakeview, he would show a sense of adventure his older brothers hadn't…driving his mother to absolute madness with worry as he'd "jump the levee" to explore the wilds of the 17th Street Canal. He would go on, in his career as a student, to become the kid who went to summer school year after year. But he'd already found his signature smile, and forged life- long friendships with those other sweet and rowdy boys who joined him on those sticky half-days…As a tweener, Stephen excelled in karate and became a master at nunchuks. But, when he was sent to the principal's office for bringing a weapon to school, he convinced Sister Mary O'Carm that this was no weapon, but rather, a musical instrument, and promptly gave her a private concert. Clacking the sticks together and jangling the chain, he took that nun for a ride with those nunchuks! She believed him! Stephen started out a choir boy, and it was in the Brother Martin choir where he'd forge a bond with Wesley Merritt†. His best friend. But growing up in the seventies, in that era of such great music, Stephen lived a double life as a rock and roller, honing his skills at home on the electric guitar with Wesley on bass. Band practice was upstairs at the house on Spencer where we siblings grew so accustomed to studying to the rhythms and rehearsals of Jimi Hendrix, Cream, and Led Zeppelin, we couldn't spell or multiply without humming the tunes! When Stephen and Wesley decided it was a good idea to give a concert at Popp's Fountain in City Park – of course, they didn't ask anybody if they could. Amps, mics, drum kits, extension cords tapped into the city's electricity – the cops were called to haul the rebel-errants off to juvenile hall. And that posse of police –they came galloping in mounted on horseback! But let's hear it for the N.O.P. D.! They didn't pull the plug that day, but rather ran crowd control and rocked out to Stephen and Wesley's raucous covers. It was a sweeter time. The band played on. Stephen would go on to become an in-demand lead guitarist known for his fine picking skills. Must we mention here he was a chick magnet? And not that there was any competition, but Stephen's real estate portfolio put the rest of us to shame. A mini mogul, at one time owning as many as seven homes in Lakeview and a six-plex facing the bayou, Stephen's work ethic was tied to his need for freedom – to live life as he wanted. With his brother Ronny, Stephen went on to build a musician's hideaway. On an apple orchard, next to a waterfall, high in the mountains of Costa Rica – a big house with many rooms – a place to write and record – its custom gates were decorated with the opening notes of Somewhere Over the Rainbow…He called it Manzana. Apple in Spanish. Un saludo a the Beatles. Life the way he wanted it. Stephen loved the wildlife, too, and knew all the fauna by name, Louisiana and Costa Rica. Exploring the rainforest, he'd point out the butterflies, the monkeys, and crocodiles…Canoeing through the swamps he loved so much, look, there's a cotton mouth, check out the turtle, wow! that egret…when I expressed fear of the animals lurking in those waters, he'd correct me: no animal is more cruel than the human. And yet, he loved people. He knew how to put them at ease. The name Stephen means "crown," and we, his siblings hereby do crown him the Prince of Friendship. We've never known anyone to have as many friends as he. Tall and handsome, and known for his smile – always smiling – Stephen was warm. Hospitable. His voice so gentle, expressive. Inviting. The best joke teller we ever met, and a great conversationalist, too – the kind, because he was so kind, who could talk to anyone about anything. And if the words should somehow lull, he'd pick up his guitar…a soft sing along would become a jam session! Everyone crowding around Stephen, wanting to be near. As we were a restaurant family, I can't not mention Stephen's skill as a restauranteur. Yes, he could cook! Suave host…check! Mean cocktail…smooth as smooth can be. But if any of you've been watching the hit TV show BEAR, you'll have learned by now the importance of an expediter in the kitchen. Damn. Did Stephen rock it! All those music lessons, the nunchuks, figuring out how to circumnavigate a bully, calling all the plants and animals by name…could it have given him this special gift in the kitchen? Such a leader. Such grace under pressure. Stephen's middle name Ellis means kind, benevolent. That he was indeed. Such a sentimental guy, Stephen teared up easily, especially when you did a little something that awakened his affection for you – even if you simply made him laugh. Or maybe even especially so… Oh, Brother, where art thou? Where does all that talent go when someone dies? How dare you take it all with you, Stephen. There you are, crossing the River Styx, so comfortable on that skiff…smiling your ready smile as you approach the river's opposite bank. Your brothers Robby and Jonathan awaiting you…Mommy and PaPa overjoyed to see you again. Your siblings left behind – Ronny, Alessandra, Christopher, and Tiffany – your daughter Fernanda – bearing our missing you with your smile imprinted on our hearts – as we know, we'll take the pain so you don't have to endure any more. Stephen was taken unexpectedly by cardiac arrest. He will celebrated in style by private invitation.