Richard A. Gardner M.D.
GARDNER-Richard A., M.D. A child and adult psychiatrist and psychoanalyst practicing in Cresskill, N.J. died Sunday at his home in Tenafly, N.J. He was 72. He had been a clinical professor of psychiatry and faculty member in the division of child psychology at Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons since 1963. Dr. Gardner authored more that 40 books and 300 articles on psychiatric issues related to children and families. In 1970, he wrote the highly acclaimed book for children, ``The Boys and Girls Book About Divorce''. He created the first psychotherapeutic board game, ``The Talking, Feeling and Doing Game'' in 1973, and later the ``mutual storytelling technique''. In the last 20 years, he devoted himself to high conflict child-custody disputes, serving as court evaluator in more that 400 cases. His most recent work was on evaluating and treating families affected by a disorder he identified as the parental alienation syndrome. Dr. Gardner was born April 28, 1931 and attended the Bronx High School of Science, Columbia College and SUNY School of Medicine. He lectured extensively in the U.S. and abroad. He is survived by his mother, Amelia Gardner, three children, Andrew Gardner, Nancy Gardner Rubin and Julie Gardner Mandelcorn and their spouses, by eight grandchildren and by his partner, Natalie Weiss. Funeral service 11:30AM today, Wien & Wien, 402 Park St, Hackensack, N.J. Interment Cedar Park Cemetery, Paramus, N.J. Shiva May 28th and 29th at Dr. Lee Gardner's and May 30th at Natalie Weiss'. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to American Tinnitus Association, Unit 20, POB 4900, Portland, OR. 97208 or Chai Lifeline, 151 W. 30 St, N.Y., N.Y. 10001. For information call Donna LaTourett, 201-567-8989.
Published by New York Times on May 28, 2003.
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12 Entries
"That time runs out before one's life's work is completed by no means makes it worthless. The fragmentary quality of life does not detract from its meaning. It is not from the length of its span that we can ever draw conclusions as to life's meaningfulness. We cannot, after all, judge a biography by its length, by the number of pages in it; we must judge by the richness of its contents." from THE DOCTOR AND THE SOUL by Viktor Frankl.
Richard, may flights of angels guide thee to thy rest. Bon voyage, Patricia
patricia lefevere
June 27, 2003
Dear Dr. Gardner, thank you very much for all your kind help and support. We are indebted to you for your suggestions. May you rest in Peace. Our condolences to your family.
Ruth and Bernard Kahn
June 26, 2003
I didn't get to know Dr. Gardner well before his untimely passing, but in this past year he has provided me with inspiration to remain a dedicated father and the tools by which to bring that about. I had suffered some seven years of attempted alienation and never once realised what was going on until I read about Dr. Gardner's work in a Scottish newspaper last summer. I thereafter sent him a letter explaining my situation not expecting to hear from him, but to my surprise he called. We had several conversations and because of him I am still in my daughter's life and it gets better every day. He was a wonderful man and I doubt there has been a truer advocate for responsible parenting. He changed my life and I will forever be in his debt.
Graeme Reid
June 8, 2003
Docteur Gardner, thank you very much for all u work in defense of the rights of the fathers, u work a lot for the justice for the men, u discover the p.a.s (parental. alineation. sindrome), great study for the future in the divorce in every world, many fathers in spain are gratefull for you work... rest in peace, friend........my condolences for the family
juan rodriguez
June 5, 2003
I will never forget what Dr. Gardner did for my dear friend and her daughter. May you rest as God had planned. My thoughts are with the Gardner family
Renee Feldmeier
June 5, 2003
Dr. Gardner will always remain alive in the memories of those who were touched by his work. He inspired many parents around the country to work together, struggle together, to fight for their beloved children. I can still see the love in Dr. Gardner's face as he shared his wisdom in the courtroom.
The Gardner family are in our thoughts these days.
Norma Perez
June 4, 2003
Desde España, gracias Mr. Gardner por darnos razones para seguir luchando por la felicidad de nuestros hijos.
From Spain, Thank you Mr. Gardner for giving us reasons to keep fighting for our children's happiness.
Juan José Cebriá
June 3, 2003
Dr. Gardner's talent lives on in memory of Nathan and the legacy of Alanna. In memorium of the countless and nameless children that those special talents will leave their mark on and the future generations he has affected.
M L Bruno RN
June 2, 2003
Words cannot express the depth of my feelings. Dr. Gardner has inspired me more than he will ever know. In Nathan's honor, I will keep Richard Gardner's name alive, so that the world will never forget what he has done for our children.
C.A. Ross
June 1, 2003
Yesterday, I took my 4-year-old to the local plant nursery and together we picked out the purest, whitest rose we could find. We brought it home and planted it in the garden to honor the memory of Dr. Gardner.

I never had the priviledge to meet the man, but he gave me a great gift -- the feeling of being understood.

I hope that the honesty and truth of his work passes into the final stage of Schopenhauer's quote:

Self-evidence

Thank you, Dr. Gardner, for leaving the world a better place, and may your family find solace and love among those of us who were truly touched and changed by your creativity, perseverance, and intelligence.


*******


Uly sses
by
Lord Alfred Tennyson

--------------

It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel; I will drink
Life to the lees. All times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Through scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea. I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known--cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honored of them all,--
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untraveled world whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
As though to breathe were life! Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains; but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.
This is my son, mine own Telemachus,
To whom I leave the scepter and the isle,
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfill
This labor, by slow prudence to make mild
A rugged people, and through soft degrees
Subdue them to the useful and the good.
Most blameless is he, centered in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In offices of tenderness, and pay
Meet adoration to my household gods,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.
There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail;
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toiled, and wrought, and thought with me,
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads--you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honor and his toil.
Death closes all; but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks;
The long day wanes; the slow moon climbs; the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down;
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Mariellen
May 30, 2003
Thank you, Dr. Gardner for your work for children and parents.
For many parents and professionals you are world-renowned for your work against Parental Alienation Syndrom.
Rest in peace.
Per Andersson
May 29, 2003
Thank you, Dr. Gardner for putting a name to a face of evil I had experienced for years, PAS. Through your work I felt empowered and gained knowledge and comfort from the fact that I am far from alone. May your work continue to break new ground by way of your peers and admirers. You stood by your beliefs in the face of much criticism. Rest in peace.
Rachel Malone
May 28, 2003
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