Richard A. Paradiso III

1985 - 2021

Richard A. Paradiso, III, "Trey" 36, of Virginia Beach died from Schizoaffective disorder and PTSD on December 1, 2021. Trey was born on July 1, 1985 in Frankfurt, Germany in the same hospital his uncle and brother were born in due to him being a fourth-generation soldier (see "Virginia Beach family's legacy built on service, sacrifice" By THE VIRGINIAN-PILOT JUN 24, 2009). He was a graduate of Frank W. Cox High School, Longwood University, and was just two classes short of a dual MBA/Strategic Leadership Master's Degree from Western Governors University.

Trey had been troubled since childhood, a classic ADHD child. In spite of his burdens, he was able to persevere and achieved much in his short life. He was hilarious, kind, generous, helpful, silly and loving. He was a good athlete and wrestled and played volleyball in high school and club-wrestled at Longwood. Thin and lanky, he never won a wrestling match in high school, and after finding a love for weight lifting, never lost a match in college. He loved the Boy Scouts, achieving the Brotherhood rank in Order of the Arrow and earning his Eagle Scout while acting as the Senior Patrol Leader. While not the greatest in terms of getting good grades, he was amazingly smart. When a subject interested him, he threw himself into it with an unbelievable zeal and learned so much about it, it was almost scary. He could smoke anyone while watching Jeopardy.

Trey loved the Army. It brought him up, it shaped who he was, and it provided him probably the most satisfying years of his life. Trey was an Army brat and that let him live in Germany; Clemson, SC; West Point, NY; Leavenworth, KS; Okinawa, Japan; Annapolis, MD; and finally, Virginia Beach. He experienced things in all these places that others only get to dream about.

Early in his tenure at Longwood, Trey had a horrible hazing experience while pledging a National Fraternity. Trey knew that his dad had had a wonderful experience in Theta Chi while in College. Unfortunately, Longwood did not have a Theta Chi Chapter. Undeterred, Trey and another Theta Chi legacy decided to start one. This proved to be unbelievably difficult given the many bad experience's colleges were having with fraternities at the time. However, these two young men persevered, writing letters, making presentations, and working closely with the College's administration. Finally, during Trey's junior year the Iota Lambda Chapter of Theta Chi Fraternity, built on a foundation of zero-hazing and true brotherhood, was chartered and has since flourished, winning national recognition three times since its founding. It was one the things Trey was most proud.

Trey commissioned as a Lieutenant of Transportation following several years in the Simultaneous Membership Program (Army Reserves and ROTC) while at Longwood. Initially slated to go to Ft Lewis, WA, he broke his leg in Ranger School putting him out of cycle for his original assignment and was asked if he wanted to be stationed at Ft Story, VA. While disappointed he did not get to go to the west coast, he was very thankful he could serve at his home. While at Ft. Story, he deployed twice to combat in Iraq, once as a staff officer and once as a Company Commander. He was an exceptional commander, who truly loved his soldiers and they loved him. He continued that mode at Ft. Carson, CO. While there, he again served as a Company Commander and as a Battalion Operations Officer, deploying for a third time to the Middle East. His duty performance was phenomenal, resulting in his early selection for attendance at the Army's Command and General Staff College and selection for promotion to Major. Unfortunately, his demons had become too much for him and despite his exceptional work, he learned the hard way that the Army doesn't deal well with severe mental illness, especially in its officers, and was asked to terminate his service. This was a crushing blow to him and only served to further sink him into his depression. However, regardless of how he was treated by the Army, he loved that he had served and that service remained the high point of his life. His love for the Army was huge and his service was more than enough reward, that and the lasting friendship and respect of his comrades-in-arms.

Following his discharge, Trey worked closely with the Veterans Affairs and was classified as 100% disabled for his illnesses. While he tried valiantly to live on his own, he needed the help and support of his parents and lived with them the last five years of his life. Many thanks go out to the PTSD Clinic at the Martinsburg, WV VA Hospital for their care and support. He did well following completion of their program.

But ultimately depression continued to deceive Trey, it told him that he was of no value and undeserving of life. After years of this continued anguish, he believed it. He was wrong. The truth is that Trey was remarkable. He was a larger than life personality and made life so much better for so many people. He could be so kind and compassionate, especially for those in need, as evidenced by the sheer number of former soldiers and friends who have said so since his passing. Trey was not someone you met and didn't remember, he made an impression on every person to have the fortune to meet him.

Trey was predeceased by his maternal grandparents, David and Carol Conder of Charlotte, NC. Left to cherish his memory are his parents, Rick and Carol Paradiso, his brother and sister-in-law, David and Summer Paradiso and their new daughter Autumn, his paternal grandparents, Dick and Gayle Paradiso, and his uncle and aunt-in-law, John and Erika Paradiso, all of Virginia Beach, VA, a host of loving friends, and many brothers and sisters in arms.

A Funeral Mass and internment will be held at 2:30 on Friday, December 10 at Church of the Holy Family Catholic Church, 1279 N Great Neck Rd, Virginia Beach, VA 23454. A reception will immediately follow at Frank W. Cox High School, 2425 Shorehaven Dr, Virginia Beach, VA 23454 where friends and family can reminisce.

Trey's depression was of a depth that no one could truly understand, most notably his family. Keep a close eye on those around you, especially those you love. If you even suspect that someone is suffering from this horrible condition, please do everything within your power to get them the help they truly need. Help stop the deception of depression.

In lieu of flowers the family requests any donations be given in Trey's name to Vetshouse Incorporated at P.O. Box 62963 Virginia Beach, VA 23466.