Vivian Silberstein

1928 - 2020

If Mom were here, she'd say just tell them I died. No one needs to know more than that. She was a private person. But her children need to say more. So hang in there Mom, while we tell your story. Vivian was born in Sacramento on 9/5/28 and died peacefully at 91, on 2/25/20. She grew up in Oak Park, attending Sierra School, Stanford Junior High, and Sacramento High, before meeting her husband Fred at Arata Brothers Market on Third Ave. Vivian and Fred married when she was 19, to the end a decision she would argue was the best she ever made. Mom was completely devoted to Dad, looked up to him, depended on him for emotional strength and loved everything about him. He was her rock and his steadiness gave her confidence to get out there and live a full life, knowing he would "always take care of me." Vivian and Fred went on to have 5 kids who survive her - Pam (Jim Peacock), Sandy (Tom), Fritz (Dianna), Karl (Janice) and Paul (Barbara). Vivian took her role as a mom seriously; once she decided to do something, she committed fully. She was the mom to step up to babysit neighbor kids, and be the: room mother, girl scout leader, snack bar mom, and go-to PTA member. She made our clothes, cooked gourmet meals daily, taught us to drive, could morph into the most caring nurse (once convinced you were really sick), and was a formidable disciplinarian. She slept with one eye open and one foot on the floor, and we knew it. Her kids are still trying to be good because it's just easier than torqueing off Viv. We learned that Mom expressed her love through daily acts of service, as opposed to a caring touch or word. When we learned that, we understood she loved and was proud of us. Her toughness made us stronger and gave us backbone, self sufficiency and independence. Vivian and Fred were charter members of Arden Christian Church, where Vivian was known for her church dinners, her command of the kitchen, and putting on a meal or reception for hundreds without breaking a sweat. She learned cake decorating and flower arranging, and became a free lance caterer for weddings and family celebrations and general head of operations in First Baptist Church and Courtyard School kitchens. She was, and we are, proud of her culinary skills, her sewing, needlepoint, and knitting productions and whatever else she decided to try. Vivian could be opinionated and ornery. She also was reliable, committed, the one to step up and get it done. Vivian loved to cook, hated fruit, enjoyed going out to eat, but was tired of all the chicken on the menus. She was bored by television and fully entertained by her cats. Going for a walk was a "waste of time," but she never sat down. She loved flowers but gardening was out because she didn't like to sweat. She had the lifelong gift of good health and physical strength; she was "too busy to get sick". Vivian is survived by her children, 5 granddaughters, 3 great grandchildren, her sister Mearline, numerous nieces and nephews, and her cat Brenda. A special thank you to those who were there for her, especially in these final years after Fred's passing - Carol Alsman, Novella Becky, Marian Darmsted, Grace Hiuga and Tracy Manson. And thank you Lisa Tillman, her caregiver and companion. You taught all of us what love looks like - it's patience, kindness, empathy and a solid sense of humor. Thank you. At Vivian's request, no services will be held. Remembrances can be sent to Sutter Hospice, Sacramento Food Bank, or charity of your choice.