Stephanie Gilmore Obituary

Stephanie Gilmore
Stephanie Gilmore, February 3, 1942 - February 10, 2021.
Stephanie passed away peacefully at home, held in love by her family. She had just celebrated her 79th birthday. Stephanie was the oldest child and only daughter of Della (Cecil) and Robert Gilmore, is survived by her brothers Tim Gilmore and Kim Gilmore and was predeceased by her brother Jim Gilmore. Stephanie was born in Des Moines, Iowa and grew up in the Sonoma Valley in California. She was valedictorian of her eighth-grade class at Dunbar Union Elementary School, graduated from Sonoma Valley Union High School in 1959 and attended the University of Minnesota. She transferred to UC Berkeley, and in 1962 married William Thomas. After she graduated from UC Berkeley in 1963 with a degree in English Literature, she and Bill went to American Samoa to teach English. Upon their return to California, they had three children, Katie, Eric and Megan. After her divorce, Stephanie attended graduate school at Antioch University and graduated in 1979 with a Master of Arts with a Concentration in Urban Studies and Planning. She worked in public health for over 30 years, eventually relocating to Columbia, Missouri and retiring in 2004 from her position as the first ever Chief of the Office on Women's Health for the State of Missouri. She then moved to Blacksburg, Virginia and became a beloved and active member of her co-housing community, Shadowlake Village, and the Unitarian Universalist Congregation. She reveled in being Granny to Eric and Anna LoMascolo's children, William and Maggie, and developed a deep and affectionate relationship with Anna. Stephanie later became Granny to Megan and Scott Barr's son Evan and built a meaningful connection with Scott around his work in social justice and underserved communities. She connected with Katie's husband, Michael Thomasson, over their shared love of history and travel. Stephanie often talked about how proud she was of her kids; she loved watching Katie build a non-profit agency and nurture many, many budding therapists; she delighted in Eric's growth and development into the amazing High School History teacher of 22 years that he is; and she treasured Megan's almost thirty-year career as an educator. She was very close to her three brothers Jim, Tim and Kim and their wives, Julie Eichenburger, Pamela Wiley, and Sue Katz. She also had close relationships with her eight nieces and nephews, who all adored her.
Stephanie was an adventurous woman, at one point strapping a kayak to the roof of her car and traveling around the US exploring, and later in life living her dream of owning a VW Westphalia Vanagon and setting off on camping and traveling adventures. She is remembered by all who knew her as a community minded, loving and giving soul who shed much light on all around her. A Celebration of Life will be held this summer at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation in Blacksburg, Virginia.

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Published by Sonoma Index-Tribune on Feb. 19, 2021.

Memories and Condolences
for Stephanie Gilmore

2 Entries

Lydia Ferrante-Roseberry

March 7, 2021

I’m sitting here eating Ben & Jerry’s out of the container, and thinking about Stephanie Gilmore. Stephanie was the first person who gave me “permission” to eat right out of the container, and even exulted in my enjoyment of it.

I met Stephanie in a time of brokenness in my own life. In 1993, at the age of 27, I was devastated after breaking up with a man I desperately wanted to marry. Rev. Janne Eller-Isaacs put me in touch with Stephanie, who was looking for a housemate. I moved in for a month, and stayed for a year. Our not-so-guilty pleasure was sitting at that big, round living room coffee table on Friday nights, eating our Ben & Jerry’s out of the container and watching Melrose Place.

Katie and Eric were already out of the house when I moved in, but Megan was still living there. Megan and I became friends too, enjoying our Ben & Jerry’s and Melrose Place ritual with her mom, even living in the same apartment building for a spell after I moved out of Stephanie’s house. I mostly knew of Eric and Katie through Stephanie, who adored all her children, and loved to tell stories about them.

Stephanie’s home became a nest for the inner work I needed to do. Stephanie was a good listener, and very wise in her advice. She was open about the joys and disappointments of her own life, proud of her kids and her professional accomplishments. She wanted to make a difference. We laughed a lot, and cried a lot. She provided what my own mother could not have done in that time of our lives. With Stephanie’s motherly presence, I learned to accept myself in new ways, and healed.

Stephanie was a confidant and even cheerleader for me through the ups and downs of my young adult life. (Too) soon after my heartbreak, I met Phil, who is now my husband of over 20 years. Stephanie loved Phil, and welcomed my new love energy in the house. She was equally disappointed to hear I’d broken up with Phil a year later, but nevertheless supportive of me. We had some tension over some other relationships of mine, but time smoothed them over. We then lost touch after Stephanie moved from Oakland to pursue her last professional appointment in Columbus, Missouri. But for me, the affection towards her never waned.

Stephanie Gilmore came into my life in an incredibly important moment, and was a source of great healing for me. Her curiosity, playfulness and sense of adventure inspired me. Her willingness to meet me with acceptance and support shifted my understanding of how I could move with love in the world.

The last time I saw Stephanie was in 2014. I’d come to Blacksburg for Dara Olandt’s ordination and installation at the UU Congregation. We walked around Shadow Village, caught up, talked co-housing, and met her kids and grandkids for brunch. As always, she was gracious, warm and open. I hope I told her how much she meant to me.

I was deeply saddened to hear about her passing, and send my love to Katie, Eric and Megan. Stephanie will live in my heart forever.