Bernadette O'Brien

Bernadette O'Brien

Oct., 26, 1954 - July 8, 2024

LONGVIEW - If you're reading about this in the obituaries, obviously, I'm dead.

But don't feel bad for me, I've had a wonderful life. In June of 2022 I was diagnosed with Stage IV metastasized cancer and given a prognosis of 6 months or less to live. Obviously, I have exceeded everyone's expectations which is exciting, because I have done a lot in the last couple of years.

Earlier in life I lived on an island in Northern Minnesota, in a cabin with no electricity and no running water. You can imagine how cold that got in the winter! I did that for a couple of years, perfectly happy. Later I lived on a sailboat for a few years in the South China Sea which was great. Great -- well, until the Philippine revolution, and things went kind of downhill from there. But nothing's perfect!

I've travelled throughout Central America. I've lived in Norway too, of all places. As a nice Irish Catholic girl in Norway, I kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. I had many wonderful travels.

I got married to the best man one could possibly marry -- Phillip Olson. Unfortunately, Phil died over ten years ago, when I was in my late 50s, which was a major turning point in my life.

Since age 65 I've been busy gathering tattoos and having more adventures. I went skydiving for the first time. I went paragliding over the jungle near the ocean in Costa Rica. I took a trip up a river and watched crocodiles come to feed.

I went ziplining in the Sierra Madres in Mexico which was an incredible experience where our group had to hike up a mountain. I kept going higher and higher and, believe it or not, by the time we hit the top, the other people in the group had given up and this nice little old lady was the only one that made it to the top! Just me and the two guides; it was great! I was proud of myself.

The best thing that happened however, is all the wonderful, wonderful people I met along the way. I have made friends with a very eclectic group of folks, all of whom I love very very much, and I know they love me too. It's been wonderful.

I've lived life to the fullest. The last two years have been a blessing to me. I don't know why I've lived these extra years, but it probably had something to do with procrastination!

After my diagnosis I was prescribed medicine for death as part of Washington's Death with Dignity program. After the prescription expired, I thought maybe things would just keep going the way they were. Sadly, all good things must come to an end. Several months ago, I noticed I was having symptoms again. I had a scan that confirmed yes, things were getting worse. I didn't want to live through organ shut down, I didn't want to go through pain, and I didn't want to go out in the end with despair. I wanted to go out on a high note. And I did.

You may have heard of interesting Celebrations of Life; mine was the best, because I attended! The day before my death I had an open house celebration attended by friends. Most of them came together as strangers with only one thing in common: they loved me, and I loved them. During the celebration everyone got to know each other and had conversations. We had lots of food, wine, and told stories. If you ever have a chance to attend your own funeral of-sorts, I highly recommend it. It will be fun if you make it fun. The one rule of the celebration was that no one was allowed to cry -- and they didn't! We all laughed. It was absolutely glorious.

Reflecting on my life I've done some dumb things. I've also done some REALLY dumb things. I've been petty, I have hurt people's feelings -- sometimes intentionally, but normally unintentionally. To all of those whom I have hurt, I can only say I am sorry. Please forgive me. I'm a human being, I have failures just like everybody else, and I can only hope that I have spread more love and joy throughout the world than pettiness and hard feelings.

The best we can do as human beings is to treat each other with the same love and compassion that we expect from others. Assume that people are doing things with the best of intentions, or the best they can do at the time. Start now! I waited too late. It was silly, but I did.

From my vantage point, the best advice I can give you is to start each day with the intention of spreading love every place you go and joy to everybody you meet. If you're anything like me, you will fail several times during your day despite your best intentions. Sometimes fail miserably. But each time, don't beat yourself up about it. Laugh at yourself and decide that you will do better tomorrow. And I promise you will.

Treat yourself with the compassion that you treat everybody else. I promise it gets better and better, and easier and easier, every day if you actually try. You'll fall down or stumble but get back up again and promise yourself you'll do better the next day. And you probably will.

Throughout my life, despite all the places I have gone, the miraculous things that I have seen, and the adventures I have had, I have to say the very best thing was all the wonderful people I met throughout my lifetime. People are amazing. YOU are amazing.

Once I broke free of my porcupine-like shell of self-protection and opened myself up to a world of love and joy in humanity, my entire existence changed. I'm a happy person. I faced my final day with a combination of curiosity and wonder of my next adventure (which I would love to tell you about, but I'm bound to secrecy on that one!).

My last day on earth was great. I died surrounded by people who love me. And people I love unconditionally. I'd love to tell you about what I experienced on the other side, but there's that whole NDA thing going on -- but just know that it is GLORIOUS!

My last words were, "I am dying with smile. I am surrounded by love that is sending me out of this world and into the next one." Ho'oponopono.