Wayne A. Costello

Wayne Anthony Alfio Costello was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts. Wayne attended local schools and enjoyed playing football as well as running track. As a member of the local Boys Club, he set many records for speed and distance that still exist today. He graduated from Lawrence High School in 1982 and began his active duty in the US Army, serving stateside as well as in Germany. He was honorably discharged in 1985.

Wayne married his high school sweetheart in December 1982, and one year later was blessed with his only child, Keisha. Although their youthful marriage didn't survive, the love, friendship, and respect that he shared with his only wife, did.

Wayne had great difficulties in his all too brief time with us, but he overcame most. In 1995, he received his Master's of Education in Counseling Psychology from Cambridge College, Cambridge, Massachusetts. Wayne had, until his death, been employed by the United States Veteran's Administration, most recently in Northampton VA Medical Center as a Research Assistant/Counselor. Wayne's special affinity to disenfranchised members of society touched his peers as well as his patients who suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and other effects of war experiences. He counseled and befriended, never totally separating the person from the problem. Wayne made time and friends in the process. He took a moment to comment, to share, to talk, and to encourage all who came in contact with him. His smile could light a room. His sense of humor was unrivaled.

He had a great love of music and was a fountain of knowledge for all. He loved jazz and the greats of the jazz genre… Miles Davis, Charlie Parker, as well as classic Motown sounds. His music collection was eclectic from new age, folk and rap, to mainline jazz, pop, rock, R & B, and oldies. His Boo, Mimi, even got him to enjoy the Dixie Chicks! Jokes were often made about his lacking only one known form of music... drum corps!

His other love was fishing. He would travel miles and miles to bag a trout or a striper. He often organized fishing outings for his patients while working at the VA. He wanted to introduce "the guys" to the quiet contemplation, the conversations, and excitement that accompanied his fishing experiences.

Wayne's greatest loves and joys came from his family. He was especially close to his mother, with whom he shared an unconditional love. His joys were times shared with her, his sister Donna and her husband and children, his daughter and so many others… he loved children; their curiosity and humor sparked his sense of caring and nurturing. He most recently shared some wonderful times with his nephew, Jon and his godson, Brandon and his godchild, Nicole, who misses him still. Not to mention his 2 nieces, who are caring for Wayne's dog, Buster! Wayne had a unique gift with children and a knack for meeting them where they were... his own experiences of being fatherless for most of his life created a sensitivity that few can match. He touched so many lives. We are better for the experience.

Wayne was truly a gift that God allowed us to share for these far too few years. Always quick to smile, to tease, to lend a hand, lend a shoulder to cry on, and two strong arms to hold us up and to embrace us. He gave his love in limitless quantity, leaving little for himself. He devoted the past 10 years to sobriety and drug-free living, encouraging others to surrender the vices that he had battled successfully. He left us with a legacy that we embrace… that through all his pain, his struggles, his hurts and disappointments, a moment spent sharing a word with those society has abandoned is like gold. Wayne touched many, many lives as no one before. He was not perfect, but he cared. Throughout his life, he could be counted on. His friends were friends for life.

As shared by many who attended his service, he would stay up 36, 48, 50 hours with someone who needed him to help them get through a detoxification plan. He would travel to rescue a vet who was struggling with a relapse or flashback issue even when it was his weekend off. Several expressions were shared with the family from those folks he helped, many torn between their love of Wayne and the psychological pain he endured alone. One veteran said, "I loved Wayne. He saved my life. He was the best guy and had so much to give. If I could die and he could come back, I'd do it for him." Others: "I should have been there with him when he needed me. If I only knew."

Wayne suffered from Clinical Depression and chose to leave us on August 19, 2000, one week before his 36th birthday. In the years that we were blessed to share with him, we the family, encourage all who knew him to embrace your memories of Wayne, knowing that he loved you as much as you loved him. But, as he himself is quoted, "the pain is too deep." He sought and now has his peace with God. He is free.

As his memorial booklet says: "Don't grieve for me, for now I'm following the path God laid for me. I took his hand when I heard him call, I turned my back and left it all. I could not stay another day, to laugh, to love, to work, or play. Talks left undone must stay that way, I found that place at the close of day. If my passing has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared a laugh a kiss, ah yes, these things I too will miss. Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish you sunshine of tomorrow. My life's been full, I savored much, good friends, good times, a loved one's touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief; don't lengthen it now with undue grief. Lift up your heart and share with me… God wanted me now… He set me free."

From the family:

To we who mourn him still,

God comforts us
To we who love.... God still loves us and grants us peace in our pain
A light so bright is now dim, but we will forever remember him.