Roger Graham

Mystic - With great sadness and sense of loss, I wish to convey to the community, where he had lived and worked these last 53 years, the news of the death of my dear husband, Dr. Roger Graham, 83, of Mystic. He passed quietly in the early hours of June 22, 2011, at The Elms in Westerly.

Dr. Roger A. Graham was born on June 10, 1928, in Dublin, Ireland, into a family of eight. He was the son of Francis and Therese (Reynolds) Graham. With the early tragic loss of his father, the family experienced considerable additional privation in already difficult times. Roger, on top of making his contribution to the welfare of the family, applied his wits and capacity for disciplined hard work to pass through O'Connell School on his way to earn an MD degree from the University College Dublin (UCD) in 1955. Curious to explore the wider world, he signed on as ship's surgeon for the P&O Line of London on the Australia run, having the care of 2000 persons for many weeks at sea. On the suggestion of his older brother, James, he then came to New York for a year of additional seasoning, training, and discovery. After an interval of advanced studies at Columbia University, he located permanently to Southeastern Connecticut as a private practitioner of psychiatry and a staff member at Lawrence & Memorial Hospital in New London. His love of his profession and the care of his patients kept him active as a physician until his 77th year.

Marrying in 1982, Roger settled along the Mystic River. He dearly loved the many faces of river in the flow of the seasons. Roger's friends from this era will also readily attest to his devotion to the poets of his native Ireland. In conversing with Roger, it was such a delight, when he would work into the conversation several stanzas from Yeats or Auden in what was invariably the last word on the subject.

I remember as yesterday, touring the Greek amphitheater at Epidaurus. Roger astonished the group, volunteering to test the acoustics by reciting Yeats's entire Sailing to Byzantium, filling the huge space with his lyrical oratory to the last row. How we laughed as we surmised that the summer storm which broke on the proceedings, as he finished up his memorable performance, was Zeus thundering his approval. Until nearly his end, he retained the capacity to recite whole poems from memory, not as narrative so much as song.

Which brings us to his other great love among the arts - opera. Our shared interest in this magical marriage of music and drama took us, on occasion, to performances all over the U.S. and Europe. And, on most other occasions, we took to our radio and later the local theater for the Saturday matinee from the Metropolitan Opera.

Roger may have emigrated to America but to encounter him was to meet the kindly considerate Irish gentleman. He would greet his guests in his unvarying dress shirt, tie, and blazer (with his favorite knit scarf in the cold seasons), never failing to inquire after the comfort and well-being of the newly met and loved ones alike. Having no children of his own, Roger dearly loved each of his six grandchildren, delighting in their milestones, the unfolding of their personhoods, and the manner in which they met the challenges of their young lives.

With these inadequate words, we release our dear Roger to eternal rest. He gave so much to so many in his care of his patients, his love of friends and family, and in his being the utterly unique, generous, and wonderful soul he was; and is.

A Mass of Christian Burial was celebrated in St. Catherine of Siena Church in Shelburne, Vt., followed by internment at Brookside Cemetery, Westford, Vt.

He is survived by his wife, Susan; his brother, Eamon, 87, of Toronto; sister, Therese, 80, of Dublin; and several nieces and nephews who reside in Ireland, Scotland. England, Canada, and the U.S.