Roberta Bocock

1937 - 2025

Roberta Bocock

August 15, 1937 - July 8, 2025

Roberta Hamilton Bryan was born August 15, 1937, the younger daughter of Gertrude Skelton Hobson and Alexander Hamilton Bryan. She died peacefully of natural causes July 8, 2025. Berta was educated at St. Catherine's School and then St. Timothy's School, (Captain, Spider Team), graduating in 1955. She received an Associate's Degree at Marjorie Webster Junior College in 1957 and worked in Richmond at Liggett & Myers Tobacco Company.

She married Frederic Scott Bocock September 9, 1959. Each numbering among 19 first cousins, they were used to setting an energetic pace, and Berta's life was a testament to it. Berta and Freddie spent their whole married lives in the same wonderful neighborhood, raising their four children, Natalie, Jack, Alex and Marianne, and enjoying activities through the years with their 14 grandchildren and legions of dogs.

Berta contributed to the community around her in myriad ways over decades. She received numerous awards from the James River Garden Club over many years, including the Jeffress Bowl twice, for giving generously of her time and sharing her knowledge of horticulture and love of flowers. She served on the Board of Trustees of Episcopal High School from 1984-1990, and from 1993-1999, receiving their Distinguished Service Award. Berta also served on the Maymont Board of Trustees and on the Board of the Richmond SPCA from 2001-2007. She was the embodiment of their mission.

Berta was a keen lover of sports, and she excelled at them. She was an accomplished equestrian. In addition to winning championships in the northeast, she was invited to compete in show jumping at the country's most elite competition at Madison Square Garden. She was not allowed to go and later insisted that her granddaughters, when offered the opportunity to delay college and compete for the US Ski Team, prioritize opportunity over convention. Berta was a skier and a keen fan of baseball and tennis, and she loved following sporting event news with her grandchildren. She and Freddie were frequently at their children's and grandchildren's sports contests and became lifetime friends of their children's teammates. She told us there was no place she'd rather die than on a hockey field. She was knowledgeable and had strong views on game strategy, sometimes asking to speak to the coaches after her granddaughters' games. Berta's father, Ham Bryan, boxed for UVA and taught her the sport at a young age. Recently when her son, Alex, took up boxing training and queried a finer point, he heard her put down the phone and take a stance, only then instructing him to anchor his weight on his back foot!

Berta loved us, her children, deeply and gave us every advantage she could, especially the advantage of her full time and attention. But, she understood "tough love" and would not hesitate to speak frankly about something we needed to hear. She believed in a long leash, and space for us to be ourselves, but she expected the very best efforts in return. Punishments frequently turned into some form of adventure or lesson. Self-importance was a quality Berta particularly disliked and chastised. When she visited one son's college graduation and was invited to see his secret society building, she asked what was the nature of the group. He explained with false modesty it was an honor to be asked, and they mostly hung out with each other. She looked at them a minute and said, "I think it is a self-admiration society," which they realized, of course, hit the nail on the head.

As her children's friends can attest, she treated them like family, and her high standards were applied to everyone in her orbit, related or not. They both respected and adored her; her word was law and yet any invitation to be with her was looked forward to. After complaining the four dogs in the back of the car smelled bad, one friend got the chance to ride with the dogs in the back himself. Another found herself wearing yellow Playtex gloves scrubbing the tub with Ajax after Berta thought she needed to be taught how to properly clean it. One friend explained, "I don't know that she cared as much about reprimanding me as teaching me something important."

Berta's village was a place of support and interest. A relative commented that one summer in the mountains, Berta came and found her and her sister on a foggy day and said, "Come on girls, we are going to make fairy gardens." Cookie sheets in hand, they crawled around the mud in their raincoats collecting moss, rocks, lichens and acorns from under the trees for the fairies. They thought Berta really must be magic. Another relative remembered that even as a "second cousin once-removed," she always kept up with what he was doing. "Even though I never knew how, she always had the latest information, encouraging me to go to New York and act, when no one else did," he said. "While most people asked about me to be polite, she was genuinely interested."

While Berta finished her own formal education at 20, she was a voracious reader and expected her children and grandchildren to be intellectually curious. She had a binder in which she kept notes of books on the Classics, World War II, and other favorite topics her grandchildren were studying. If a grandchild did not know the name of a key battle or general in a country they were visiting, Berta would issue a clear and swift rebuke. She was never intimidated by rank or station, whether it be a four-star General at a Navy SEAL gathering or the lead singer for REM. She was mostly intent on gleaning something interesting from the people she encountered and being able to contribute herself.

Berta was her own inimitable force of nature--fun, generous, wise, loyal, kind, determined, unforgettable. She was preceded in death by her parents, and her sister Gertrude Skelton Bryan. She is survived by Natalie Bocock Turnage (Mark), Jack, Mary Buford, Nellie and Bo Turnage; Jack Bocock (Nora Brookfield), Willis Bocock (Liza Lindgren), Molly and Nonie Bocock; Alex Bocock (Amy Sullivan), Scottie, Jimmy, Mary and Elisabeth Bocock; and Marianne Bocock Doyle (Brian), Lucy, Courtland, and Zander Doyle.

A celebration of the life of Roberta Bryan Bocock will be held at 3:00 p.m. on Thursday, July 17, at Hollywood Cemetery.

Gifts in her memory may be made to the Sheltering Arms Foundation, P.O. Box 91758, Richmond, VA 23291-1758 or online at https://shelteringarmsfoundation.org/, or to the Richmond SPCA, online at
​ ​https://richmondspca.org/how-you-can-help/donate/, 2519 Hermitage Road,
Richmond, VA 23220.