Alex Vonnegut

1962 - 2021

Vonnegut, Alex ALBANY After a long battle with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), Alex Vonnegut died last Wednesday, June 16, 2021, at home with family at his bedside. In the care of his partner Laura, son Sean, and The Community Hospice, he died peacefully, without suffering. He leaves behind his partner of 12 years, Laura Scheuner Noel; children, Cassandra, Justin and Sean; granddaughter Alexanna; brother Scott; and nephews and nieces. Alex was a loving husband, father, grandfather, uncle, and brother to those he left behind. He follows family members who departed before him, his mother Lois; father Bernard; and Terry, Peter, and Kurt, three of his brothers, who, as Alex, died too young. Alex was born on March 22, 1962, in Wellesley Mass., the youngest of five brothers. When he was five, his family moved to the Capital District where his father, Bernard Vonnegut, accepted a professorship at the University at Albany. He lived in Delmar until the death of his mother Lois at the tender age of nine years old. His father, now a single parent, moved to Mckownville, next to the University, to raise his youngest sons, Kurt and Alex. Here both brothers attended Guilderland schools until 1978, when Alex transferred to the Hoosac School. After graduation in 1981, Alex joined with a friend to start a painting business and other business ventures. It is said that he worked hard during the day and partied hard at night. Struggling, with no clear path in his life, Alex fell into reliance on drugs and alcohol to quiet his "demons." In 1995 Alex's life changed when he married Karen Hermann. He found love and purpose helping raise her children, Cassie and Justin, as his own. They had a son together, Sean Bernard, in 1998. Alex was a good father and patient husband. He worked hard to provide a good life for his family. And when away from work, he loved the time with his wife and children, relaxing on the beach or exploring a theme park. But this domestic tranquility dissolved with the recurrence of an unbridled addiction, triggered by an unfortunate turn of events, that led to the breakup of his marriage and threatened the dissolution of his family. The threat of losing his children, whom he loved so dearly, was the transforming moment of Alex's life. Alex, with the help of friends and colleagues, worked on a program of recovery that helped him break free of his addiction. He lived the last 16 years of his life being "gentle to himself" and to those fortunate to know him. Those years were lived fully, especially after getting the diagnosis nine years ago that his life would inevitably be cut short by COPD. He found love in a beautiful woman who lived in his apartment complex. He, an otherwise shy man, wooed her unabashedly, arranging "coincidental" encounters in the lot where she parked her car. Despite her initial reluctance, he became her friend and then, eventually, her partner in life. While not formally married, he considered Laura his wife as she cared for him for the 12 beautiful years of their relationship. After living in separate apartments near each other, Laura and Alex combined home and family. The five years they lived together were some of the happiest years of his life. Their home became a welcoming place for family and friends to celebrate holidays, have barbecues and where Laura took care of her grandchildren, Lucas and Julia and Alex's granddaughter, Alexanna, named after her grandpa, whom Alex affectionately called Ally. Alex will be remembered for his hearty laugh and beaming smile, his words of encouragement and thoughtful advice. He loved sharing anecdotes about his father and brothers, sons, and daughter, most especially those about his brother Kurt who died unexpectedly. His closest brother in age and spirit, Kurt's loss five years ago was traumatic, but the retelling of stories about him kept his memory and love for him alive. Alex's self-effacing, self-deprecating sense of humor often used to illustrate his own (and his brothers') foibles and shortcomings. His story of the search for the missing pie (spoiler alert: on the roof of the car) with his brother Kurt, brought tears to the eyes. He was always there for his children, listening and offering advice whenever asked. He eagerly shared his interests and enthusiasms in politics, science, nature, and sports. A lifelong fan of the METS, this season's first place standing and phenomenal pitching by DeGrom were frequent topics of discussion. When speaking of himself and the trouble he got into in his earlier days, he never made excuses or blamed his misbehavior on others. The lessons he learned from life guided him in how to raise his children. His wisdom and life experiences created an openness, vulnerability, and kindness that he shared with his family and friends. With the knowledge of the frailty of his own body and mind, he became a greater person and used the years he knew remained to radiate his love of life and love for those around him. We should take this as an example for our own lives and live each day as a gift and let those around us know that we love them. We love and miss Alex - fond memories of him will always be with us. A private service for family and friends will be held at Meyers Funeral Home in Delmar. Contributions in Alex's memory may be made to the COPD Foundation at: https://www.copdfoundation.org