Joan Howard

11/14/1934 - 09/03/2025

Joan O'Connell Howard, beloved wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, and friend, passed away on September 3, 2025, at the age of 90. A Funeral Mass in her honor will be held on Wednesday, November 26, at 10:30 a.m. at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Alexandria, Virginia.

Born in Boston in 1934, Joan was the second of five children of Joseph and Helen O'Connell. She grew up in a lively Irish Catholic household where hard work, devotion to faith and family, and a positive mindset were guiding principles. She attended Emmanuel College in Boston, majoring in mathematics and playing on the women's basketball team. While diligent in her studies, Joan freely admitted that her favorite part of college life was playing cards in the smoking lounge with her teammates.

After graduation, Joan worked as an analyst for an aerospace company before meeting the love of her life, Matthew Andrew Howard, Jr., a young Army officer and fellow Bostonian. The two were married and embarked on a decades-long adventure as a military family, raising five children and moving twelve times before finally settling in Northern Virginia. During those years, which included two combat tours for her husband "Matt" in Vietnam, Joan was the ever-optimistic center of the household—resourceful, determined, and endlessly devoted to her children, turning each of their military-base quarters into a true home, as well as a launch pad for new adventures in the family station wagon.

Known for her unshakeable Boston accent and mischievous wit, Joan was a natural storyteller who never let the facts get in the way of a good tale. She believed in three things above all else: family comes first; education is priceless; and a good deal makes everything sweeter.

Once her children were securely on the path to college and beyond, Joan returned to the workplace as a high school math teacher. Following her retirement from the school district, she found her true calling as an after-school math tutor, working one-on-one with students five days a week well into her seventies. She took pride in helping every student reach their potential, and in the process, found great satisfaction in stockpiling her earnings for future trips to Ireland and her grandkids' college fund.

Deeply proud of her Irish roots, Joan made several pilgrimages to Ireland with Matt and their children and grandchildren, visiting tiny Cape Clear Island and the remains of the windswept stone cottage, where her mother was born and raised. She also delighted in summers at Bethany Beach, Delaware, and gathering her clan for the annual Family Beach Week—a cherished tradition that continued for more than thirty years and never failed to include storytelling, honey-baked ham, matching T-shirts for the obligatory Christmas-card photo, and "Granny's" exuberant applause for every grandchild's talent show performance—no matter how humble. It was the happy chaos she loved best.

Even in her later years, Joan's zest for life never faded. She was crowned "Queen of the Valentines" at her senior living community this past February and remained as spirited and mischievous as ever—once famously caught trying to break into the locked wine cabinet. She also reveled in sharing stories of her children's successes, proudly reminding her tablemates that she had raised a neurosurgeon, an attorney, an engineer, a businesswoman, and a pilot.

Joan was preceded in death by her beloved "fella" Matt; her sisters, Patricia Foley and Catherine Gallivan; and her grandson Kevin Howard. She is survived by her five children and their spouses—Dr. Matthew Howard III (Delia), Mary Howard (Chuck Rosenberg), Ann Marie Irwin (Bill), Joan Smith (Kurt), and John Howard (Dana); her sister, Mary Racine; brother, Joseph O'Connell (Roseanne); twelve grandchildren; and six great-grandchildren.

Her family takes comfort in knowing that Joan has reunited with her loved ones "upstairs" and that her boundless energy, laughter, and love will live on in the many "Granny stories" that they will continue to share for years to come.