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STANFORD STEPPA Obituary
STANFORD C. STEPPA
On Tuesday, September 14, 2021, STANFORD C. STEPPA of N. Bethesda, MD. Beloved husband of Elaine Brodsky Steppa. Devoted father of Dr. Scott (Roberta) Steppa, Stacie (Richard) Gorinson and Jamie (Howard) Wollner. Loving grandfather of Aaron (Rebecca), Leizer and Helyn Steppa, Liza (fiancé, Jason Goldfarb), Haylie and Jarrett Levin and Molly Wollner. Dear brother of the late Helyn (the late Louis) Fanaroff and brother-in-law of Arlene Joyce Lipman and the late Donald Lipman. Funeral services will be held on Wednesday, September 15, 2021, 11:30 a.m. at Congregation Har Shalom, 11510 Falls Road, Potomac, MD 20854. Interment following at Judean Memorial Gardens, Olney, MD. Livestream will be available (at the time of the service only) at http://www.harshalom.org/livestream">www.harshalom.org/livestream. Because the observance of shiva is set aside by the holiday of Yom Kippur, the family will receive relatives and friends on Sunday and Monday at the late residence. Memorial contributions may be made to the Alzheimer's Association,www.act.alz.org or to Congregation Har Shalom, www.harshalom.org. Arrangements entrusted to TORCHINSKY HEBREW FUNERAL HOME, 202-541-1001.
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Memories and Condolences
for STANFORD STEPPA
6 Entries
Vincent Supperville
August 1, 2022
Hello Mrs Steppa this is Vincent who use to work for you and Mr Steppa at the house every summer use to clean the furniture for the pool will clean your car sometimes for you and you would make me sandwiches when I work there and they were so good I just found out today about my dear friend Mr Steppa I felt a knot in my chest and could not get over it for a while I want to let you know how sorry I was to read that today 8/1/22 just happen to think about him went to my computer type his name and there was the news I didn't hope to see but I want you to know he was a great man always gave me good advise when I bought my first house thirty years ago he came to my home and I was overjoyed he said to me you going to stay here for a little while and I know you will get a big house which I did and you want to know what's the best part of this is he is smiling right now in heaven saying Vincent you did it just like I know you will God bless you boss will always love you and say good things about you hope to see you one day my love to the family Scott,Jamie and Stacie and of course Mrs.Steppa.
Howard Wollner
September 17, 2021
So, because of Yom Kippur, not only is there no Shiva obligation, so no real opportunity to share thoughts about Stanford, the funeral service was also "rushed" so there were many people, I am sure, that were not able to express their thoughts on Stanford. Count me as one of them. I am a son-in-law. Jamie's husband of 16 years. I will take this opportunity to express my thoughts about Stanford. So, I found myself crying, out of the blue, and couldn't figure out why. I can see crying when I see Jamie (my wife and Stanford's daughter) or Molly (my daughter and Stanford's granddaughter) or Elaine (Stanford's wife) as I feel sad for them and feel their loss. But why was I crying when I am at my desk, or in shul or just driving? He wasn't my father. He was my "father-in-law". Basically, in my life by happenstance. If I had not married Jamie then I never would have known Stanford (or Elaine). I also didn't "meet" Stanford until I was 40. A grown man. So, I thought about it. Once I did, it became clear why. Father-in-law does not do justice to the impact that Stanford had on my life. Other than my father, who is the most important man in my life and has had the biggest impact (all positive) on my life, no other man has impacted my life, in a positive way, more than Stanford. You should know, I am very lucky when it comes to male role models in addition to my father. A Grandfather that was a great man, that I lost when I was about 16 (ironically about the same number of years Stanford was in my life, but during a different time) but had an impact during those 16 years that was very special. An Uncle and friends and mentors that have had tremendous roles in my life. I wasn't looking for another male role model. There are millions of men who get married and have "nice" fathers-in-laws, and if that is what I had, most people would consider me lucky. But, when Stanford Steppa enters your life you open your eyes, your heart and your mind and you absorb as much of him as you can. Stanford's impact was not just by happenstance because he was Jamie's father (as I hear many times on-laws being thanked by son-in-law for having the daughter that the in-law married). Yes, obviously, if he didn't have Jamie I never would have had the great family I have, for which I am very grateful. But it is way more than that. From the moment I met him, at a Redskins game on 9/12/04, where he gave me a big hug when Jamie introduced me (I can assure you that Molly's boyfriend will not get the same reaction from me the first time I meet him) and then proceeded to give me updates every 15 minutes about how many people were at the tailgate, he treated me as a son and not a son-in-law. He made my life easier and better every day. This included proposing to Jamie for me (a story that if you haven't heard, you need to hear because once you hear it I guarantee you will look to the person next you and say "yep, that's Stanford"). He showed me how important it is to support your family (he didn't have to tell me, just watch him). He showed me and told me how important it is to embrace being Jewish. Ask my NY and Charlotte friends, who to this day still comment on how many times Stanford said during his speech at our wedding "I am so happy that they are going to keep a Kosher home". That doesn't begin to explain his love of Judaism. I can't even begin to recall the number of times, when I would tell people who I was married to and they find out that Stanford is my father-in-law, that person would then go on and tell me a story of how Stanford either helped them or someone else they know. No reason for Stanford to do this other than that is who Stanford was. There were two phrases that I will always remember coming from Stanford. One was "this is a WOW". Whether it was a good drive by Jamie on the golf course or a fancy event or watching Molly sing or dance, it was always "a WOW" and it was the most heartfelt "WOW" you ever heard. The other is that "we are very lucky Jews". Now, this was normally mentioned if something wasn't going 100% as planned. Didn't matter. He always knew and made sure to express to us, that we are lucky Jews. Not just lucky people, but lucky Jews. As I sit hear and think about him again, and think about my father, I can't help but know that, yes, I am a lucky Jew. How lucky to have two men in my life like my father and Stanford. Most are not lucky enough to have one. Who am I to have two? The total lack of hubris was amazing in Stanford. He could have walked around tooting his own horn about how successful he was or how charitable he was but never did. I don't ever remember hearing him ever take any credit for his role in the success of his business or the success of the family he and Elaine raised (all credit was always given to Elaine, and always justified). I don't ever recall him telling me how much money he gave this place or that place. He never did anything for the purpose of recognition. He never put himself first.
Towards the end of Stanford's life, as his cognitive ability began to wane, I would go to lunch with him every Thursday (before our study sessions). I always enjoyed spending time with Stanford, but, I think, as time went on, I enjoyed these lunches even more. I have to admit, purely for selfish reasons. Maybe, just maybe, taking him to lunch and telling him about my day and my family gave him some joy as he realized his mind was not what it once was, and somehow I was able to "even the scorecard" for all that he gave me. Not that Stanford kept score of course. When we were speaking with the Hazzan the day Stanford passed he explained that one of the reasons people stand up and talk about the deceased is to help with the judgement before G-d. G-d has a list for everyone. Need to have more checkmarks on the "good" side than the "bad". These "witnesses" help with that, I guess (and didn't know this). The Hazzan mentioned this, because, as mentioned earlier in this diatribe, we were going to be short on time, but not to worry. Of course not to worry. I am sure that when G-d's angels pulled up Stanford's name and gave his list to G-d for his judgement, G-d looked and said something to the effect of "I don't need to look at this list. I know who Stanford is and I know what he has done, so bring him to the head of the line and let me finally take him to my world." Therefore, I am not saying this because it is needed for Stanford. I am saying all of this because it is needed by me. I can go on and on but I have to imagine there is some limit to how much one can type on this website. I can go on about all the funny stories but, perhaps another time. Not sure this forum was intended to allow for this much anyway. Therefore, I will end. I will never forget Stanford (dad and pop-pop). Not only will I see him every time I look at Jamie and Molly and see the greatness of Stanford in them, I will "feel" him every time I try to do the right thing as I know he always did the right thing. I know that one day soon, the tears that come when I think of him now will turn to a smile as I remember Stanford. It has to because I always had a smile when I was with him, so I (and Jamie and Molly) will smile again when we think of him, once the sadness passes.
Again, please find me and have me tell you the engagement story. It is worth it.
Wally & Ruth Becker
September 16, 2021
Dear Elaine, It is with much saddness that we just learned of Stanford's passing. Please extend our sincere sympathy to your entire family. We have only fond memories of our relationship with your very vivacious husband and father. Heartfelt sympathy.
Irwin (Irv) Smietan
September 16, 2021
My condolences to Elaine and family. We lost touch over the years but the memories of our friendship years ago are still fresh in my mind.
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Arnold Malhmood Coolidge 1952
September 16, 2021
Stanford was the most upbeat person I've met in a long time. He reveled in going to work at Magruder's. We will all miss him terribly
Sandy McElhaney
September 16, 2021
Dear Stacie and Family, I am so sorry for your loss. He was a gentle giant among men. May his memory be for a blessing.
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