Jody Weixelbaum Obituary

On Tuesday, July 29, 2008 of Hudson. Beloved wife of Mark Sugarberg. Loving daughter of Bernard and Evelyn (Strugger) Weixelbaum of West Palm Beach, FL. Dear sister of Elia Weixelbaum and his wife Karen Berger of West Orange, NJ. Cherished aunt of Leah, Josh, Zach, Adina, Tamar, Joe and Cheryl. Services at Temple Beth Sholom, 50 Pamela Road, Framingham on Wednesday, July 30 at 1:00PM. Burial will follow at the Framingham-Natick Jewish Cemetery in Natick. Shiva at her late residence through Friday afternoon continuing Sunday through Monday evening. In lieu of flowers remembrances may be made to American Cancer Society for Ovarian Cancer Research, 30 Speen Street, Framingham, MA 01701. Levine Chapels, Brookline 617-277-8300

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Boston Globe on Jul. 30, 2008.

Memories and Condolences
for Jody Weixelbaum

3 Entries

Chester (Tzvi) Edelman

July 16, 2009

I just stumbled across this site today whilst looking for my old friend Jody. What a loss! I am very sad.

Joel Gluck

July 31, 2008

I knew Jody when we sang together in the Zamir Chorale of Boston. She was an extraodinary singer and person. My condolences to her family and all who knew her.

Gil Yehuda

July 31, 2008

In Jody’s honor
by her request, and to elevate her memory

Jody used six words in her last phone call to me. “Will you speak at my funeral”. It didn’t take many words to convey the entire story. With these six powerful words, I understand the recent turn of events.

Jody asked that I be light-hearted and irreverent. She knew that it was impossible for us to not be sad, but she did not want sadness. She asked if I’d say a joke or two, and I told her I don’t think I can, but I’ll try.

I then realized that this would be the first time I would speak with her in the same room, and I would not be corrected by her.

Instead of jokes, I’d like to share words that lift our spirits. I think this is what we all need.

God is obsessed with music. He created heavenly creatures who sing to him every day. He is so obsessed with music that every single atom inside of every single piece of matter vibrates. Every cell of every person contains these vibrating particles. Every particle vibrates like concert cymbals, and like vocal chords. Most of us cannot hear the music created by every piece of God’s creation. But each one of us is a walking concert. We each make music by just existing, and almost no one can hear it.

God is so obsessed with music that He gave us Jody. Jody heard music in all of creation. I remember she would come over, she heard the Green line screech on Beacon Street, and she immediately called out the note it screeched to. She knew the note that our hot-water-pot would whistle to. It was amazing to see how carefully she heard the sound of reality.

God is obsessed with beauty. He created beautiful people to inhabit this world. He is so obsessed with beauty that He filled the world itself with beauty, so that the beautiful people he created would have a home in a beautiful world. He then gave us an obsession with beauty, so that we would seek it out in others and would create it in everything we did.

God is so obsessed with beauty that He gave us Jody. She saw beauty in all of creation. She would visit it on her bicycle and photograph it on her travels. And sometimes she’d add her own colorful spin on the pictures to make the world even more beautiful. She saw beauty in the fields of Sudbury, in the canals of Italy, and on the shores of California and Nova Scotia. And we saw beauty in her.

God is obsessed with opinions. That’s why he made the Jewish people. Each one of us is full of opinions and we share them. God is so obsessed with opinions that he gave us Jody. She was a master of insight, and was very skilled at expressing her views.

You see, God is also obsessed with truth and justice, and so was Jody. Her opinions directed our attention toward her sense of truth and justice. She had little tolerance for injustice. If something seemed unfair, she would call it out as such. It was like a sour note in the harmonics of the particles. It was a mismatched color on a photograph of beauty. If someone defended an idea that seemed unjust or unfair, Jody would speak out.

I met Jody almost 20 years ago, and I was blown away by her personal strength and conviction. I was at a conference with Elia, and he introduced me to Jody. She was a force to contend with, she had a passion for life and an unbelievable reservoir of energy. We were at MIT at their Israeli dancing night. We danced a little, but talked a lot. In that one evening I knew I made a friend for life.

Jody was the musical director for my singing group. She composed and arranged much of our music. She spent countless evenings frustrated with our intonation and our pitch. Oy, did we argue. It was the best time. And it was totally frustrating for all of us.

Jody is not known for being passive or surrendering easily. Her tenacity and courage came out in everything she did. The truth is -- that in this world of music and beauty -- there is also pain and darkness. I’m afraid to say that God may have a small obsession for pain and darkness, as these do exist in our world too. And much like everything else in creation – Jody was aware of pain and darkness. She once gave me a book to read – about a black dog – She told me “read it, and you’ll understand”. I did and I did. Jody confronted darkness and pain in its many forms, and with a tremendous amount of courage, she fought it. At times there was much pain and darkness, and I don’t know how she overcame it. Her tenacity and character strength carried her though some very rough times. And it was through you, her friends and family, that she found strength and support.

Jody always insisted that she would never get married. She dated a bunch – she liked getting out and meeting people, but never saw herself in any traditional role. You all know Jody – hardly one to uphold traditions for its own sake.

But one day she came over the house with a guy she met. Now, she told us about some of her friends in the past, various guys she met here and there, some she liked more than others. But she had not told us much about this new guy – Marc. She brought him over to meet us, and she just looked different. After about 10 minutes I took her to our kitchen and said “Jody, you are going to marry this guy!” She said, “yah, I know”. It was clear that meeting Marc was a transformative event that brought her so much joy that she was like a different person. She was madly and forever lovestruck – she was beaming.

I remember the wedding. It was so amazing to see Jody Weixelbaum getting married, after insisting she would never. Ha! And it was the greatest thing to watch.

Jody defies classification. Religiously she adhered to an unorthodox orthodoxy that was more like a paradoxical traditionalism: Jody has a devout faith the right way and in the truth. This is what we call God. “Hashem Elokeichem – Emet”. She gladly challenged anyone who spoke in God’s name – rabbis beware! But she did so with full awareness to what is fair and proper. She was very orthodox, and very unorthodox. She was conservative, and liberal. She defied and upheld. And it makes perfect sense when you consider how clearly she saw this crazy world of music and darkness; beauty and pain.

Jody was a soloist. But for the last few years she was in a beautiful duet with a wonderful guy. If there is anyone here who does not believe in angels, let me ask you to open your eyes and look here, and see what it means to be an angel. I could never imagine how hard it is to be an angel like Marc, and I’m in awe at the character strength this guy has.

So now I believe in earthly angels, like Marc. These angels sing praises every day, even if they don’t sing at all. Marc’s very being is a concert. Jody heard this concert and loved its music.

Jody was also deeply committed to the Zamir chorale and joined these earthly angels in their song too. About her attachment to these angels in her life – this makes sense, just take a look at her family and you’ll see many of these angelic qualities with the Weixelbaums. And these qualities are carried forward in them as they cherish her memory.

Now I only want to imagine Jody with heavenly angels, singing with them and probably correcting their pitch if they are off. I imagine what it might be like, if there is a mechitza there – I’m absolutely sure that she is speaking up and telling the senior management that it must come down. And even if it does not, she’ll sing loudly enough so that it doesn’t make a difference.

I want to thank Jody for sharing her music and her beauty with us. She found it in reality and captured what many of us did not even notice. She sang at our wedding, and she inspired my son Ben to take up photography as his hobby.

I ask that her memory be bound in the “chords” (cords) of life. That we learn from her to see and hear with clarity. To overcome darkness and pain with courage and strength. To find joy and love, and to add our own colors to this beautiful landscape. To honor tradition, as she did, and to challenge it in order to elevate it. And to do this in her memory, so that her memory will be a blessing to us.

I ask that we reach out to Marc and to the Weixelbaum family and we shower them with love and support. And we pray that they be comforted among the mourners of Tziyon and Yerushalayim.