James W. Costanza

James Costanza Obituary

Of Wakefield, Oct. 16. Beloved husband of Lucy R. (Nicolosi). Loving father of James W. Costanza, Jr. and his wife Lucy of Wilmington, Daniel C. Costanza of FL and Jane M. Crowley and her husband Stephen of Stoneham. Brother of the late Lucy Butera. Also survived by 6 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. Funeral from the McDonald Funeral Home, 19 Yale Ave, WAKEFIELD, Saturday at 9AM followed by a funeral mass in St. Joseph Church 173 Albion St, Wakefield at 10AM Relatives and friends may call at the funeral home Fri. 4-8PM Interment, Lakeside Cemetery, Wakefield. Memorial contributions may be made to the American Heart Assoc., 20 Speen St., Framingham, MA 01701. For obit/directions/guestbook, www.mcdonaldfs.com

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Published by Boston Globe from Oct. 18 to Oct. 19, 2007.

Memories and Condolences
for James Costanza

4 Entries

Joy Costanza

October 20, 2007

James W. Costanza, Sr. 2/26/1917 - 10/16/2007
When I was first asked if I wanted to offer the Eulogy for Grandpa, I was not sure how to answer - I have never known such an honor. In fact, it was such an honor to have known him. I would like to start with one of my own experiences. I think I was about seven, and I had a big question. Rather then ask my parents who got the rest of my big questions, this one was for Grandpa. I remember Michelle, Chrissy, Steven, Jill and Stephen were all playing and I was in the living room of my grandparents house with my Dad and Grandpa. They were in a discussion about something that was of no interest to a seven year old girl and at last I got my chance.
I blurted out, " Grandpa, what is the difference between North, South, East and West and right and left?" Grandpa was quiet for a moment and then he got out of his rocking chair and stepped to the center of the room. He told me he was facing North and why he knew that and showed me his right and left, and then he faced the east and showed me his right and left. "Do you understand? You always have you right and left no matter where you go, and if you can find North, then you can always find your way home." I thought about it and nodded, he went back to his rocking chair and continued is conversation with my father and I returned to play as a seven year old would. I am not sure I ever told that story, but it was something I always remembered in my travels.

Home was the most important thing to him. Each of us has a different idea of what "gold" is in our lives. Family and friends were the gold in his life. He worked very hard as a plumber, coming home dirty and exhausted to provide for his family. He was a man of few words, but the words he used, he used wisely and sometimes really funny! Speaking of wisely, if you ever had the opportunity of watching Jeopardy or wheel of fortune with him you would be amazed! He just knew! Recently he and my Mom were watching Smarter then a Fifth Grader and he decided they were both smarter then firth graders! What a relief!!

Even when he was sick, seeing his great grandchildren, Hayden Liam and Julia was incredible for him. Trying to make them laugh. Hayden copying him, wanting his drink like Great-grandpa's sitting next to him with his arm around him. Grandpa loved it. Each generation - from his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren all knew to run to see the cuckoo. That was the gold in his life.

I do not think I have ever seen a couple closer then my grandparents. They had a secret love. Not only the love that we all saw and felt, but the behind the scenes, with the Kashi cereal with the hearts where he would take one on his spoon and put it carefully on her plate. The greeting cards with the secret message on the in between pages. Grandpa would pretend he did not know Grandma was "secretly" showing us in the other room. There is a love there that writers and poets have attempted to capture over the ages. To have a love that has lasted 64 years! That is just amazing to me. We have been more then fortunate to have this as our foundation, the rock of the family. We all have what we have because of them. Together, Grandma and grandpa gave birth the best friends they could ever ask for.

I remember the bright summer days running at Kingston to get "our" Table. Do you remember the smell of those eggs, bacon and potatoes? I also remember being in his magic garden where the sugar snap peas grew taller then I, and eating them right off the vine with Grandpa smiling and looking so proud.

To live to be 90 years old and never have to live in a nursing home is amazing. Every poss measure was taken to keep him where he belonged that was really his one request. That could never have happened with out grandma being there all the time and Auntie Jane and Dad being there as much as possible.
I am willing to bet that even now, Grandpa still has his right and left, and I know he found North, because it brought him home. Grandpa - we love you and you have been an inspiration to us all on how to live a life well lived.
Love always,
Joy D. Costanza

sandra marshall

October 18, 2007

Dear Jane
I am so sorry to hear about your father I know how close you were to him and how much you loved him. Please give your family my sympathy and my prays are with you to get throught these next few days that are the hardest times.
All I can say is as time goes on you will heal but never will your father leave you.
sandra

Jill Healey

October 18, 2007

Grandpa personified dignity, grace, and love. He was a man of very few words, but everything he said was so interesting, profound, or sometimes just really funny. Not only did he speak with care, but he seemed to do everything (eat, move, think) with the greatest of care as well. Grandpa loved Grandma, and all of our family, unconditionally; and has been my pleasure to love him just as much.

I will think of Grandpa every time a cuckoo clock whistles, when I smell a tomato vine, when I eat pumpkin seeds, and whenever I encounter the numerous everyday things that he made so special to me.

Although my heart has never been so broken, it is overflowing with the most beautiful memories that I could ever want.

Dear Grandpa,
I am comforted in knowing that you are in God’s arms. Thank you for being the most precious and the most beloved grandfather.
With Love & Gratitude,
Your Granddaughter,
Jill

Ann Conroy

October 18, 2007

Thank you Jim for being such a great cousin to me. I will treasure all the fond memories of growing up in your home with your sister and parents you all were my special family. You and your wife Lucy will have a very special place in my heart.
Love, Cousin Ann

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