Mary Vaughan-Lindsey

VAUGHAN-LINDSEY - Mary Daughter of Robert G. and Gertrude Leonard Bainbridge, died Saturday, October 4, 2008. Consistent with her wishes, she died at home, under Hospice care, surrounded by her family. Mary was born in Buffalo, New York on February 2, 1919. She is survived by: her sister, Rita (Raymond) Geraty of Cold Spring, NY; five children: Maureen (Gene) Straight of Naples FL, Lee (Varada) Vaughan, Mary (Francis) Cosgrove, Theresa Vaughan and David Cherubin, and Thomas (Sharon) Vaughan, all of Albany: six surviving stepchildren and their families: Peter (Holly) Lindsey of Greensboro NC, Richard (Linda) Lindsey of Denver, CO, Robert (Cassandra) Lindsey of Saratoga Springs NY, Ann (James) Takeuchi of Seattle, WA, Patricia (Robert) Durlak of Lockport NY, and James Lindsey of Grand Island NY. She is also survived by 24 grandchildren, five great grandchildren, and many much loved nieces, nephews, friends and professional colleagues. She was predeceased by her parents, ten brothers and sisters, her husband Robert Vaughan of Buffalo NY in 1971 after 30 years of marriage, her husband Edward Pete Lindsey of Grand Island NY and Punta Gorda, FL, in 2000 after 13 years of marriage, one stepson, John Lindsey and by her beloved daughter-in-law Julia Hassett. Mary was a woman of remarkable character and grace: A devoted, affectionate and effective wife and mother, an accomplished and skilled professional counselor and author, and, most of all, a woman of deep spirituality and surpassing authenticity. Literally until her last days she continued to reach out in love to people she came in contact with, and to encourage and expect her family and friends to do the right thing for the right reasons. Born and raised in Western New York, she graduated from Mt. St. Josephs Academy in Buffalo in 1936. She married Robert Vaughan in 1941, a man with whom she shared much including a love of dancing. Mary worked in a variety of paralegal and clerical jobs, as well as serving as the Executive Director of the Buffalo Council on World Affairs. Robert fell seriously ill with cancer and finally succumbed in 1971, after 6 years of intensive illness and treatment. The loss of her husband and the needs of her family ultimately led to her return to college at 49. Mary graduated from Canisius College in 1973 and earned her Masters degree in rehabilitation counseling from the University of Buffalo in 1977. While work was necessary during this time it was always in the service of her main activity, fostering the spiritual, intellectual and emotional growth of her family and herself. She developed a fervent interest in child development that led to her involvement, at a local leadership level, in such activities as the La Leche League and the Christian Family Movement. This interest became a lifetime avocation that culminated in the publication in 2006, of her book Sexual Beginnings A Blueprint for Life, a com bination of scientific work on child development and policy prescriptions to foster improved child-rearing. Her professional work as a counselor included work at Niagara Falls Memorial Hospital where her work with people with disabilities led to the creation of comprehensive, psycho-social treatment program that ranked among the leading programs in the country. She completed her counseling career in 1986 as the director of the counseling center at Canisius College. In 1987 she remarried. Her new husband, Edward Pete Lindsey, was a noted New York health care policy analyst and advocate and had six surviving children himself. Mary spent the next several years integrating her two families. During this period, Mary and Pete split their time between Grand Island, NY and Punta Gorda, Fl. In 2000, Mary moved to Albany to be closer to her children and grandchildren who had, since 1968, gradually migrated to the Capital District. Her last years were occupied with completing her manuscript, becoming a valued member of the St. Vincent de Paul parish, and working as a volunteer with local elder care institutions, including Hospice and Our Lady of Hope nursing home. Late in 2007, she began to suffer serious and long-term adverse consequences of her chronic Crohns Disease, that, in all likelihood, she had suffered from for decades. Her struggles with the pain and disruption that marked this last year were marked by extraordinary courage. As at so many other times in her life, she found consolation and strength in her faith and continued to share those benefits with all. Marys life was celebrated with a Mass of Resurrection at St. Vincent de Pauls Parish on Madison Avenue in Albany, NY, Tuesday, October 7, 2008. Internment will be at Mount Olivet Cemetery in Tonawanda on Saturday October 11 at 11:30 AM. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Homedical Associates of Schenectady..