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VICTORIA STARR Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for VICTORIA STARR
Sponsored by The Cybercats.
Alex Knisely
March 25, 2023
Another year gone by -- and I still wonder : How can someone who was so forceful, so impressive, so skilled and so admirable have left ? * * * The answer is immediate. She hasn't. Our memories keep her with us.
Vicki, thank you for so much. So many things remind me of you !
Dinah Starr
March 29, 2020
I am Dinah Starr, Vicki's sister, the author of a prior tribute. Around this seventh anniversary of her passing, I am moved to share some memories.
So many memories of our childhood, our parents and our life together. We shared the same landscape, the same books, the same shmoo families. (For those of you unfamiliar with shmoos, you might be interested to Google the Wikipedia article) Our mother painted Easter eggs and trays and a toy box for us and our father crafted wooden toys for us. On warm summer nights we slept outside on bunk beds on a porch our father built in our house in Hingham. Vicki
with a couple of her friends formed the Robbers' Jewel Club, with its headquarters in the barn in Hingham that she later renovated as her residence, to which I as her little sister was not invited!
I was a camper at Alford Lake Camp in Maine at a time when Vicki was a counsellor there. I remember having charge of her tent during a counsellors' meeting, and how four rambunctious kids would become instantly obedient at the mere mention of Vicki's name. And
I recall the night I won an all around camper award, and how Vicki embraced me with such warmth and enthusiasm, how truly happy she was for me.
I remember how much I enjoyed visiting her when I was a student at Westtown School and she was at Bryn Mawr College. And our trip to Rome with our mother. I was 15, Vicki was 19, and we stayed at the Eliseo Hotel in a room just below a rooftop nightclub where they would sing Arrivederci Roma and Lipstick on your Collar in Italian.
I was happy that she decided to return home at the end of her life after all those years in Europe and make herself a home in Hingham, Mass., the community of the summers of our youth. I always enjoyed my visits with Vicki, the birthdays and Christmases and meals that we shared. We spent one lovely day sorting through our children's books together. She was very welcoming to my partner John and we both appreciated her thoughtful gifts to us, including some colorful fish with which we decorated our kitchen (she knew that John loved fish).
I am grateful for these good memories
Alex Knisely
March 24, 2020
Today as I composed an e-mail that included a picture of Bársony and Betyár cuddling -- yes, two cats; yes, I live in Hungary -- Vicki's phrase popped into my head. "The Fuzz send purrs." *** So many other turns of speech that were, that are, that ever shall be hers. Chapeau, Mme Starr, je t'embrasse très fort.
Blessing of the Critters
Dorothy Koval
March 25, 2019
The Cybercats are chasing each other with joy at your visit, Alex. There's plenty to do up there, but they're still happy to hear from an earthling. Yes, Vicki is always present for those who knew her well - and she made sure that those she wanted to did! Thanks for that too, Vicki.
March 25, 2019
The Cybercats are chasing each other happily at your visit, Alex! Plenty to keep them busy up there, but they love hearing from earthlings too. Vicki will always be present for those who knew her well - and she made pretty certain that you did, if she wanted you to! Thanks for that too, Vicki.
Alex Knisely
March 24, 2019
How odd. I came inside from a sweaty hour of grubbing up dandelions here in Körmend -- Hungarian dandelions, "pitypang", and no, digging and tugging, I felt none -- just now to find the e-mail that sent me to this site. As I worked I had been thinking, reminiscing with the usual mix of fondness and exasperation, about Vicki, ignorant at any conscious level that today is the anniversary of her deathday. *** She made, she makes, her presence and her absence felt.
My thanks to those who keep her candle lit.
March 13, 2015
In loving tribute to my sister Vicki Starr
Vicki read and travelled widely, and had a keen interest in many different ubjects. She was a vivid presence, a lively conversationalist with a repertoire of good stories. As a teacher at Moorestown Friends School ('62-'70) she stimulated and inspired her students. She was a talented sculptor, and studied for a while in Rome under Peter Rockwell (the son of Norman Rockwell). She took beautiful photographs. She transformed her place in Chinon and her family's carriage barn in Hingham with her skill in designing spaces and her zeal in overseeing every detail of the work to realize her design. She was an inspired and industrious gardener, and put her skills to work not only in the beautification of her own places but also to help others. She was an excellent and generous host. She was a devoted parent to her cats. She was a faithful supporter and active participant in the religious and educational institutions of which she was a part. She was dedicated to her friends. She was not a complainer, and fiught her illness and faced her death courageously.
Alex Knisely
March 25, 2014
Lucky to have been, to be, one of Vicki's 'anciens eleves', as she introduced me to her francophone mates -- she gladly shared. And she had so very much to share!
A born teacher, she was. I miss her.
We sleep under her quilt now. It's a happy remembrance.
Jean-Yves Chretien
February 1, 2014
It is with great sadness that I have learned of the passing of Vicki. My family and I met Vicki in Chinon France in the early 80's. We initially met at Church and became friends. She was a unique person, full of energy and we all loved to listen to her telling us the numerous experiences she encountered in her life. We loved her house in Chinon and were amazed of what she did with it. Seeing somebody from another country so dedicated in what she was doing locally made us realized how special Vicki was.
It has been over 20 years since we last saw Vicki and I have learned of her passing through the internet.
Our thought and prayer go to her. May she be, now, walking with God.
Jean-Yves, Yves, Michele Chretien
January 1, 2014
At this festive time and looking forward to the new year
When we've wished everyone health and good cheer
Adorned the trees with lights and sent cards and spread goodwill
With stockings emptied and presents gratefully received
I will take the time to fondly remember my pen friend from across the sea
For no more will I receive my much awaited news
from my dear pen friend, Vicki.
May you rest in peace
Sylvia
September 2, 2013
We were so saddened to learn today about Vicki from our friend Fred Crumrine, who read about her death in the Westonian. She was a wonderful friend, larger than life, and an irrepressibly generous hostess. We were privileged to be guests for two long visits at her beautiful ancient home in Chinon, France -- once in 1982 when we stayed for a week at the tail end of a two-month-long bike trip, and again in 1987 when we returned with our one-year-old son, Nathaniel who was just learning to speak and who called her “Bookie.”
She loved having us there, told us so often, and we loved being her guests. She had an acerbic wit, a contagious laugh, and a deep love of all things French, which we shared. How many joyful evenings we spent with her and her cadre of French friends, laughing at the absurdities of life, the absurdities of people, and the absurdities of ourselves.
A classic Vicki anecdote just popped into mind: When we told her we couldn't come to France in 1986 when Judy was pregnant with Nathaniel, she quipped, “What are you going to name the baby? ‘Instead of Chinon?'” We howled at that, and brought Nathaniel to France as soon as we could.
Cat lovers ourselves, we exchanged news with Vicki about our various feline friends over the years in our annual Christmas letters (Vicki's were always a literary masterpiece), and she was pleased to learn that our daughter, Carrie, has been adept at getting us to adopt strays (two furs in residence at the moment).
We last visited her in Hingham when we were in the Boston area in 2010, and she gave us a tour of her latest architectural forays and the farm. Her spirit was as vibrant and engaging as ever.
Our lives have been truly enriched for having known and loved this extraordinary woman. Her intelligence, love, and deeply multi-cultural perspective were potent antidotes to cynicism and detachment. We will carry her spirit with us, along with countless treasured memories of our times in France when she took us under her wing and shared with us a world we couldn't have even imagined.
Judy and Denis Nicholson Asselin
Barbara Peters
July 3, 2013
I met Vicky in Rome, Italy in 1974 at St. Paul's Within-the-Walls. I was first a professional soprano in the choir, and later became Secretary in the Church Office. Vicky was an active member of our merry band of ex-pats from all over the world. I apartment sat for her one Christmas holiday, and left her apt. keys in a taxi -- she was not a happy camper (neither was I). Complicated new locks, etc., etc. I lost touch with her when she moved to France. BUT!!! About three years ago, when I learned she'd moved to Hingham, MA --just up the road from where I grew up in Scituate, MA, we re-connected. I took her to lunch one wintry afternoon while I was visiting my mother, and also visited her at her beautiful home. I watched her meditation garden come into being, as well as her smashing iron-gate, for which she, herself laid the cement. Vicky is a power of example in my life -- she absolutely faced life head-on and always with a dry wit that never quit. I am sorry to learn, so belatedly, that she has left this dimension -- I had hoped to see her again this summer. Godspeed, Vicky!!!
Siera Alkee RN
July 2, 2013
I had the privilege to work with Vicky shortly before her passing, her spirit was pure, she was kind, loving and compassionate. I will enter into her home with a heavy heart and leave smiling and full of life. Heaven added another angel.
Golden Dragon atop Vicki's house in Chinon, France
April 17, 2013
Michael O'Connor
April 16, 2013
Vicky was a serious cat person, but she always liked our Labrador retriever, Oban. Whenever we would be driving down from Turkey Hill and spot Vicky, either on the road or in her garden, she'd come over to say hi--always to the dog first.
Our second Lab, Caledonia, would get the same polite greeting.
Vicky was an acquaintance; our interactions were too few for true friedship, though never trivial. In our discussions at the edge of Weir River Farm, we covered a lot of ground, from the Loire Valley to Belted Galloways, to Turkey Hill Road speeders to the art and artistic significance of Polly Thayer Starr ("Mother").
Vicky cared about the land and those who trod lightly upon it.
Vicki's Meditation Garden in Snow
April 15, 2013
Dorothy Koval
April 15, 2013
Actually, this is a little bit of incense to remind her of us while she explores her new territory!
O'Mally, Grimm, Fergie et al.
April 15, 2013
Vicki Cooking, 2008
April 15, 2013
Vicki constructing Meditation Garden, 2009
April 15, 2013
Vicki with Tim Linwood, 2012
April 15, 2013
Vicki at MFA Japanese Garden, 2011
April 15, 2013
Vicki at Bryn Mawr, 1961
April 15, 2013
Vicki Writing
April 15, 2013
Deborah Howard
April 12, 2013
Before I moved permanently to Cohasset in 2006, I discovered the Thayer's pet cemetery on Weir River Farm while trail running through this beautiful property. I was especially taken with the beautiful tribute to Scrap, the three-legged dog who died in 1908, and wanted to know more. I became friends with Trustee employees who told me to introduce myself to Vicki, who then told me the story of the cemetery and how Scrap had been her grandmother's dog. We immediately hit if off because I run a national nonprofit for animals, and she is a cat lover who had built a special outdoor enclosure for her cats. We also shared a love for all things French. We took a walk up to Turkey Hill, and sometimes I'd see her in her garden when I was running with my dogs. I only wish I had seen her more in the last couple years. What a wonderful, interesting person who led a full life!
Vicki holds Sneaky Pete to be blessed on St. Francis' Day
April 12, 2013
April 12, 2013
CONDOLENCES (GuestBook)
04/04/2013 Elise Mannella
Trenton, NJ, USA
Thank you for updating her bio. Time does terrible things to one's memory. I am grateful to remember how Vicki introduced me to Peter Rockwell, who at the time was working on a major sculpture commission for the gargoyles on the National Cathedral in DC. We worked in his studio near the airport--Vicki creating something beautiful, while I realized this was not the medium for me. She was involved in the art and ex-pat communities in Rome and introduced me to Henry Moore, who kept studios in both Italy and England. Early on, she was one of the people who demonstrated the art of creating an interesting life--much, much appreciated! Elise Mannella
04/04/2013 Judy Cope
Medford, NJ, USA
Vicki was a great part of the reason that high school was NOT a horrible experience for me. Her gift of humor made Latin an inspirational class. Her gift to us of understanding, caring and respect made us all better human beings. Heaven, throw her a fish!
04/03/2013 Dolores Thompson
Lower Mills, MA, USA
Sorry for your loss Dinah, we will miss and remerber Vicki always.
04/03/2013 Larry Hinds
Hauula, HI, US
Vicki Starr was my Latin teacher from 1967 to 1970 at Moorestown Friends School in NJ. While I was only one of her marginally capable students, she had a way of including all of us in class discussion. Her personality was engaging and her use of interactive education methodologies was ahead of its time. She was one of my favorite teachers! My condolences to her family and friends; she will be missed.
04/03/2013 Molly Forsythe
McDonalds Corners, Ontario, Canada
Vicki, used to come to Sunday tea at our house when I was a child. She brought a wonderful world of learning how to think and the lifetime of ideas and joy! Before she left France my Mother, my daughter , and I visited her in France, thanks to my sisters. What a wonderful trip visiting historic landmarks, and having her stop and talk to the workman, who worked on her home as well. But I will always remember the wonderful terraces in her house, including her Cat Terrace. So I am working on making some ceramic cats to climb the terraces around my humble home, with thoughts of Vicki.
04/03/2013 Al Bernatavicius
Hingham, MA, USA
Vicki will always have a special place in our family's heart, and she touched our lives in many subtle ways. I have very fond memories of talking with Vicki at the top of Turkey Hill while taking my dogs for a walk with my kids. She always made me chuckle, whether her story was something about her past adventures, something political in nature, or of deer eating all of her flowers. We would always offer her a ride back to her house in inclement weather - including a raging blizzard when the wind was blowing so hard you could not see further than 5 feet and it steadily shook the car violently. She always refused and said she would be fine....typical of Vicki's spirit! Vicki always felt part of the land to us - someone who would always be around, and while she no longer graces the earth, she will live on in my family's stories and memories.
04/02/2013 Bruce Haines
Media, PA, USA
As a Middle School student at Moorestown Friends School the greatest gift Vicki gave me was her organization of season subscriptions and bus transportation to the McCarter Theater in Princeton. I loved drama, and every play, but in 9th Grade we went to see Of Mice and Men. I remember riding home palpably shaken and moved. To this day it was the most powerful experience I've ever had in a theater, and I've subscribed to fine theaters my entire adult life. It was only a few years ago, when I saw Vicki at her 50th Westtown reunion that I learned the secret. She had made it possible for me to see a young John Lithgow in the role of Lenny! I remain forever grateful to Vicki for nurturing my interest in theater in this most powerful way. I suppose to this day I am looking for a performance that moves me as deeply. Much love, sadness, and celebration of a life well lived! Bruce Haines
04/02/2013 Elise Mannella Trenton , NJ, USA
Vicky was my home room teacher at MFS. When she found out I would be studying in Italy during my junior year of college, she invited me to visit her in Rome, which I did. I visited her several times, met some other interesting students. One night she made couscous for us for dinner--the first time I ever ate it! I remember her openness to life's experiences & her role model as a woman. I lost touch with her & send my deepest sympathies. She was very unique. Elise Mannella
Ginny ORoak
April 5, 2013
Vicki and I called ourselves college roommates; she lived on the third floor and I lived at the other end of Radnor on the second floor. The friendship worked well that way. We argued for years about the age of souls: now she knows the answer. Cheers, Vicks.
Jed English
April 2, 2013
I was very lucky to have met Vicky through a mutual friend Tim. The first time was 16 years ago and she understood exactly what to give me to read in order to have the insight on how to deal with what I was experiencing at the time; I Never Promised You a Rose Garden by Joanne Greenberg.
The historic building she restored was one of the most sensational homes I have ever seen in my life. She will always have a special place in my heart.
Jed English, France
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
From The Old Testament – Ecclesiastes: Chapter Three
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