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BORN
1949
DIED
2015
FUNERAL HOME
Roger Deshaies Obituary
Age: 66 • Madison, Ct
Roger J. Deshaies, of Madison, CT died Sunday, August 23 at dawn in his home. He was surrounded by his loving family after a short but valiant battle with cancer. He was 66 years old.
Roger is survived by his loving wife of 43 years, Rosemary Vogel Deshaies of Madison, and their three children: daughter Denise (Didi) Deshaies, of Bucharest, Romania; son Marc Deshaies of Fort Wayne, IN, his wife, Mara (Linnemeier) Deshaies and their two daughters, Allison Marie and Samantha Rose; and daughter Juliette Deshaies Mead of Newtown, PA, her husband, Jerome P. Mead and their son, Knox McCashin Mead. In addition, Roger is survived by his three brothers: Rev. Robert J. Deshaies of Plantation, FL and his wife Deborah; Richard A. Deshaies, S.J. of Cambridge, MA; and Raymond J. Deshaies, PhD of Pasadena, CA and his wife, Linda Silveira, PhD.
A native of Waterbury, CT Roger is also survived by a large number of nieces, nephews, cousins and innumerable friends and co-workers spread across the country and around the world. An avid outdoorsman, Roger could be found on the water in the summer, skiing down a mountain in the winter, or spending many happy winter hours in his furniture-making woodshop. He was a devout Catholic and his faith was his cornerstone. Professionally, he spent his entire career as a healthcare executive, serving as Chief Financial Officer at several institutions nationwide, including Brigham & Women's Hospital in Boston, MA, the University of Vermont Medical Center in Burlington, VT, and currently at Yale Medical Group in New Haven, CT.
We wish to thank the staff of Smilow Cancer Center at Yale New Haven Hospital, Dr. Howard Hochster and his team, as well as Hospice of Branford, CT.
In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations to AMURTEL Romania www.amurtel.ro (online donations) or by check, made payable to AMURTEL and sent to AMURTEL North America, PO Box 232 Warren, VT 05674, specifying that it is for Romania. Visiting hours will be held on Thursday, August 27, 2015 from 4-7 PM in the Waring-Sullivan Home of Memorial Tribute at Fairlawn, 180 Washington St., Fairhaven, MA. His Funeral Mass will be held on Friday, August 28, 2015 at 10 AM in St. Joseph's Church, 74 Spring St., Fairhaven, MA. Burial will be private. For online tributes please visit: www.waring-sullivan.com
Visit burlingtonfreepress.com/obituaries to Express condolences and sign the guest book.
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Memories and Condolences
for Roger Deshaies
Gwen Stamper
November 3, 2015
I am so sorry to hear that Roger has passed away. He left a beautiful family as a legacy. He will be part of wonderful memories by all who knew him.
Kathleen Phelan
September 22, 2015
My deepest sympathies to the Deshaies family. I didn't know him very long but he made a lasting impression that will be with me for ever.
August 31, 2015
I am so sorry for you loss. He will truly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Robin Bodeau (Fairhaven Ma)
Dan Gross
August 31, 2015
I can't think about Roger without smiling - a happy smile because he made me laugh so much, and a warm smile because he was so generous and giving in ways only those who knew him well would understand. He had more influence on my life probably than anyone I have met, and he will stay with me. I miss you Roger.
August 31, 2015
My deepest sympathy and condolences to the family during this time of grief. 1 corinthians 15:26,
Frank & Cindy Byrne
August 30, 2015
We were deeply saddened to learn of Roger's passing. He was a valued friend, mentor and professional colleague. He has left his imprint in healthcare nationally, and in the continued good work of his wonderful family. Please accept our condolences and prayers.
Ronald Twomey
August 30, 2015
So sorry for your loss. So enjoyed working with Roger at Parkview. My thoughts are with you.
Catherine Hamilton
August 28, 2015
I had the opportunity to work with Roger on health care reform in Vermont in 2011-2013 he was insightful and had an energy that was infectious. He also taught as a guest lecturer in my health care management class. The graduate students loved his wisdom- he may have missed his calling as a professor. My sincerest thoughts are with your family. Love Catherine Hamilton
August 28, 2015
To the Deshaies family,
I worked with Roger for a short time while at the Yale Medical Group. He was a true professional and very smart, but also very caring and funny when time permitted. I'm glad I had the opportunity to know him. With deepest sympathy and prayers for your loss. Joanne Czeczot
August 28, 2015
Dearest Rosemary.....Larry and I were so sorry to hear about Roger. Our heartfelt sympathies to you and your family. We remember so many fond and fun memories together. As you remember the love, as you mourn the loss, may you also celebrate the life. Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things.
Susan and Larry Sheetz
Marion Couch
August 28, 2015
Rosemary,
I was so sad to learn of Roger's passing. I always enjoyed working with him and I learned so much from him. I'm especially grateful for your visit to Indiana University School of Medicine, where he was so helpful to us. Roger impressed everyone with his intellect and wisdom. I will miss him tremendously. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Sincerely,
Marion Couch
Michael Charchaflian
August 28, 2015
Dear Fr. Rich, I am privileged to get to know Roger, Rosemary and the entire family. The backgammon session I had with Roger and his funny comments keep lingering in my memoirs. I am very sorry for not being able to be with you and the family during this difficult time. Be assured of my heartfelt prayers, in my Rosary today and Holy Mass on Sunday. May Our Lord guide Roger's soul and give all of you comfort and peace knowing that he is in a much better place.
Lucille Zarillo
August 28, 2015
In loving memory of a wonderful person. We will love you and miss you always, Roger. Your loving cousin, Lucille
August 28, 2015
All of us who had the privilege of working with Roger were devastated when he became ill, and now grieve along with you for the loss of this wonderful person. Those who worked for Roger truly loved, respected, and admired him. Those who worked by his side as colleagues quickly learned to listen when he spoke. His words, and stories, were filled with experience, common sense, and wisdom. It is quite amazing to realize the impact he had on our organization in such a brief time, and the example of trust and excellence he left for us. I will always treasure my memories of hallway conversations, meetings, golf, and an occasional drink with Roger, and those memories will always bring a smile.
Ronald Vender, New Haven, Ct
Paul Taheri
August 27, 2015
Our sadness is deep and heartfelt. Roger was truly one of the greatest most giving individuals I have ever had the privilege of meeting. He was smart, to the point, thoughtful and most of all funny. His jokes always made meetings fun and engaging.
He was a mentor to many of us and I particularly looked to him for advice and counsel on a regular basis. I will miss "hanging out" in his office chatting, and sitting on the porch having a scotch. Your friendship and kindness will be deeply missed.
Our prayers are with you, Rosemary and the kids in this difficult time.
Alan Swircenski
August 27, 2015
To the Deshaies family,
May you know that I am wishing you healing and peace through this tough time.
With Sincere Sympathy from your cousin.
Dave Doiron
August 27, 2015
Rich, I didn't know Roger, but you certainly were one of the most memorable people I knew during my 40 years at St. Thomas Aquinas Chapel. I'll always be grateful to you for your part in the richness of the liturgies during the Chilson years there that made worship the anchor of my spiritual life even to this day as an Episcopalian. I lost a younger brother in 2005 and know how devastating your brother's passing away can be. I offer you my prayers during this time of mourning..
Roger Stone
August 27, 2015
Very sorry to read of Roger's passing. Roger had a remarkable, positive professional impact on the healthcare community of Vermont and Northern New York. His knowledge, expectations and mentoring created, almost from whole cloth, a model of organization. He led with integrity and confidence. And always there was Roger's humor and interest. Kit and I send our deepest condolences to Rosemary and the family
Joan Cappuccio
August 27, 2015
Rosemary and Family,
I wanted to recall some of my fondest memories of Roger and found there were too many to list. But here are some of my favorites; putting a fence on our deck so Lily wouldn't fall down the stairs, knocking on our door with Ray to show us the huge fish they caught, painting our ceiling, tinkering on his boat and making a beautiful treasure box for Lily when she was born. He was one of the finest men I ever met. The beautiful family he left behind is a testament to that. Jimmy always thought the world of him so I know they will find each other in heaven. Love and deepest sympathy.
Rita Deininger
August 27, 2015
Rosemary and Family: I had the pleasure of knowing and working with Roger at Parkview. I held him in high regard and had the utmost respect for him. I also remember his laugh! My sympathies to you and your family in your loss.
Ted Catino
August 27, 2015
Rosemary, I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. His memory is something that no one can take away. I will sure that you will find him every day thru your children and grand children. I am sorry that I am so far to be able to bid my last farewell.
Love Ted
Sharon Amberg Miel Domis
August 26, 2015
Dear Rosemary, We have not been in touch for awhile, and Roger's cancer came as such a surprise to us. How sad for all of you, and know he must have had the best of care from Yale. We remember so well sailing with you in the BVI and how much he loved the water, the islands, and sailing. We will be thinking of you in the coming days, and send our love to you.
August 26, 2015
Rosemary, I am so sorry to hear of Roger's passing. He lived life large and was will be missed by many friends and colleagues. I will never forget his unique style- truly one of a kind! My prayers to you and your family. Matt VanVranken
Gene and Marggie Faley
August 26, 2015
Rosemary, Denise, Mark, and Juliet-
Marg and I are greatly saddened by Roger's passing. I have known for a few months that Roger was waging a valiant struggle with the dreaded disease. Roger was a tough adversary, but also a very kind and giving person. I fondly remember the get togethers and dinners at your house on Sunday afternoon. We still have a table-top Roger crafted one afternoon while waiting for dinner to cook. And who could ever not forget the Hilly Hundred bike rides! I have many fond memories as I am sure you all do. My prayers of acceptance are offered to you and the family.
Gene and Marggie Faley-Leo, IN
Teresa White
August 26, 2015
Dearest Rosemary, I am truly am sorry for your loss. I have been so blessed to have met Roger, you and your wonderful family. Please know you did all that you could for Roger. You have a wonderful family and are blessed to have them. Please let me know if I can do anything. Teresa White
Steve & Linda Fisher
August 26, 2015
Marc,Linda and I are so sorry for the loss of your father. We will keep you,Mara and your family in our thoughts and prayers, Steve & Linda Fisher
August 26, 2015
Dear Rosemary -- So sorry. Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family. It was a pleasure knowing you and your family while you were in Ft. Wayne.
Mike & Mary Jo Amorini (Ft. Wayne, IN)
Jack Petropoulos
August 26, 2015
Rodger you left so much behind. You left things you made, things you made then gave, and things you simply gave. You gave your friendship, your knowledge, your smile, your wit, your uncomfortable yet ever useful frankness, and you gave it all without asking for anything in return. You leave us in the black and we are all the better for it.
Marie Chartier
August 26, 2015
Dear Rosemary, Bob, Richard and Raymond,
My heart is with you during this difficult time. I can only thank God for making me re-connect with Roger (and you all) over the last years. I will certainly keep the best memories of our skiing trips, visits in Canada and Roger's (and Rosemary, of course) hospitality. I will miss Roger's great sense of humor, presence and wonderfull personality. Love, your cousin Marie Chartier ([email protected]; 819-380-6438)
Karen Roberts
August 26, 2015
Rosemary, My heartfelt sympathy to you on Roger's untimely death. He was by far the best mentor I ever had and a truly classy and warm person. You both built many lasting friendships in Fort Wayne and were great hosts to many people. My prayers are offered for Roger and all of his family.
Russ Tracy
August 26, 2015
I worked with Roger on several projects; Roger was always intelligent, articulate and a gentleman in his work. I was surprised and saddened to hear of his passing. My thoughts are with the family, and a wish that over time the wonderful aspects of his life will overtake the sadness of his passing in your thoughts.
Vance Gravel
August 26, 2015
Roger,
You are such a wonderful and caring person. Will miss you very much.
Your Cousin,
Vance
Vance Gravel
Gracia Mitchell
August 26, 2015
Our deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. May God give you the comfort and peace that you seek and need at this time may the soul of your loved one rest in peace.
God Bless your family and loved ones.
Karin Paulsen Couillard
August 26, 2015
Dear Rosemary & Family,
I was so sorry and sad to hear of Roger's passing. I worked with him at Fletcher Allen Health Care. He was a wonderful guy and lightened many moods with his keen sense of humor! May God wrap you in his loving embrace to give you comfort, peace and much love.
August 26, 2015
RICHARD-I'm very sorry about your loss of Roger. Please call me at 203-597-4146.Keith Brilliant
Father Don Ravey and Roger
August 26, 2015
We are sorry to hear of the passing of Roger. We enjoyed the time you both spent as parishioners of Immaculate Heart of Mary in Williston, Vermont. Be assured of our prayers for your loved one and for your family during this time of loss.
Ros and David McLean
August 25, 2015
Rosemary, my dear friend for over 50 years, our hearts are breaking for you and the beautiful family that you and Roger created. We will always cherish our memories of Roger and the fun times we had when we visited you over the years. His propensity to "lose" and then find things (especially shoes) will stay with us for ever. He was so much fun to be with. We only wish we could be with you at this very sad time. You are in our thoughts every day and we send our love to you and your family. Ros and David
Dennis Dykhuizen
August 25, 2015
Rosemary: Linda and I were of course saddened to hear the news of Roger's passing. He was for me not just a client but a good friend. I admired not only his skill in doing his job, but also the way he knew how to balance work with recreation. Whether it be golf, boating, cooking lobsters on the grill, going to the Indy 500, etc., you always had a good time with Roger. We will miss him. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Dennis Dykhuizen
Julie Burns
August 25, 2015
Rosemary...My heart is breaking for you and your family. Roger was truly one of the 'Great Ones!" His love for you and the kids was always so evident! He was kind, funny, quirky, and encouraging all in one. He was Dennis the Menace in a big-boy body. He always said there was more to life than work! And he made sure everyone around him realized it too. He was a great mentor and a great sharer. I remember he would always ask if anyone ever wanted to use the 'beach house' or go on a fishing trip, or go on the skiing field trips. It was amazing. I will always smile when I think of him! And I know I am a better person in this world because of knowing him. Thank you for sharing him!
God Bless all or you. Be Strong.
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Waring-Sullivan Home Of Memorial Tribute180 Washington St, Fairhaven, MA 02719
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