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Harold Bender Obituary

Harold J. Bender SOUTHPORT - Harold J. Bender, 70, of St. James Plantation, Southport, NC, passed away suddenly on Sunday, March 24, 2013, at New Hanover Regional Medical Center in Wilmington. Known affectionately as "Head" to his friends and family, Mr. Bender was born September 16, 1942 in Winston-Salem, the son of the late Dr. John R. and Louise Zimmerman Bender. He earned his law degree from UNC Chapel Hill in 1969. After beginning his career in Statesville, Mr. Bender worked several years at the Department of Justice, ultimately serving as the United States Attorney for the Western District of North Carolina. Following his tenure as a federal prosecutor, Mr. Bender began a long and distinguished career as a Board Certified criminal defense attorney in Charlotte. He practiced extensively, in the federal courts of the United States, most notably in the Western District of North Carolina, the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals and the Supreme Court of the United States. Head's formal accomplishments included membership in the Association of Trial Lawyers of America and recognition as a Master in the Bobbitt Inn of Court. He was a mentor to a generation of younger lawyers who learned how to practice law by following his example. He was a passionate advocate for his clients and took seriously his vow to defend even those accused of terrible crimes, saying simply "in order for the system to work for the best of us, its got to work for the worst of us. The system requires that lawyers sometimes take on unpopular causes and do the absolute best we can." Beyond his law practice, Harold worked for many years on the weekends, and took great pride and pleasure, as a football referee in the Southern Conference, earning that league's Silver Whistle Award, given to its best referee. Head retired to Southport in 2010, where he maintained a small law practice and continued to enjoy mentoring young Brunswick County lawyers. He was a volunteer and coach with The First Tee of Brunswick County and an active member of the Men's Golf Association at St. James. Surviving are his loving wife Nita Robertson of the home; a daughter Currin Bender of Syracuse, New York; two step sons Ford Robertson and wife Ashley of Raleigh, and Bradley Robertson and wife Niki of Bristol, Tennessee; two brothers Bob Bender and wife Ruth of High Point, and Ralph Bender and wife Sherrie of Houston, Texas; and five grandchildren whom he adored and who loved him dearly, Margaret Robertson, Abigail Robertson, Ella Robertson, Grady Robertson, and Catherine Robertson. A memorial service will be held at 2:00 pm on Thursday, March 28, 2013 at St. Philip's Episcopal Church in Southport with Reverend Barry Kubler officiating. The family will receive friends from 6:00 to 8:00 pm Wednesday evening at Peacock - Newnam & White Funeral Service. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to The First Tee of Brunswick County, 445 Tarkln Court, Shallotte, North Carolina 28470, or to the charity of the donor's choice. You may make online memorials at www.peacocknewnamwhite.com. Peacock - Newnam & White Funeral and Cremation Service, Southport, North Carolina.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Charlotte Observer on Mar. 26, 2013.

Memories and Condolences
for Harold Bender

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Gaye Cline-Schooler

June 9, 2013

I was so sorry to learn today of the Harold's passing. I met him years ago when he was an attorney in Statesville, NC with Pope, McMillan and Bender. My mom, Mary, was a legal secretary for the firm and thought so much of Harold. Over the years, our family got to know him well and always enjoyed his wonderful personality. I later moved to Charlotte and found him working there as well. He had a great career, but was also known for being such a likeable person. I know his family misses him greatly. My sympathy and prayers will continue for your family as you gradually adjust to live without him. May all of your wonderful memories of times spent with him continue to give you great comfort.

Harry

May 27, 2013

I am so sorry to here about your lost. I am a former bailiff in meck co (the one he introduced as micheal jordan look alike) Many years ago he showed me how true he was to Carolina when they lost to a team and I brought the gear of the other team for him to pose in after the lost he took the picture and it was the going thing in the office after they found out i had the picture. He said christmas would be better if i didn't give it to the office. Loved him my sympathy and prayers go out to you anf the family.

B. Gardner

May 21, 2013

Deepest sympathy to the Bender family. May our loving Creator grant you guidance, strength and comfort during this difficult time. He invites us to approach him in prayer and to pour out our heart to him. (Psalm 62:8)

May 19, 2013

May the god of comfort be a source of strength for the family at this difficult time. 2Corn 1:3, 4. Deepest Sympathy, Sue, Concord, NC

Psalm 46:1

May 1, 2013

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.

Andrea

April 30, 2013

My sincere condolences to your family. I truly hope that that God of Comfort gives you the strength you need to endure this difficult time.

John Lowder

April 26, 2013

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

Jonathan Lowder

April 20, 2013

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.

April 15, 2013

I always enjoyed working with Harold and got a kick out of his calling me Dr. McCauley. Nita, prayers for comfort and peace to you and your family.

Jon Lowder

April 2, 2013

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

Debbie Hill

April 1, 2013

Nita and family,
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Many years ago I helped you with some decorating in your Charlotte home. I remember meeting Harold at some of our consultations. He was the kind of husband I liked to work with...whatever the wife wants. He was a true gentleman and his love for you showed. I didn't realize you had relocated to this area. I moved to Sunset Beach about 13 years ago. I send my sympathy and prayers to you and your family.

March 31, 2013

Nita,
I just heard of your husband's passing. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you and the entire family. I hope I can talk to you soon. My prayers again go out to you. We Love You Leanne and Doug Robertson. Call me when you can at 803-804-0279. I would love to talk to you to support you. Love and prayers Leanne....

Maxine Yelton

March 29, 2013

I was saddened to read about Harold's passing. I worked in the federal magistrate's office while Harold was with the U.S. Attorney's Office. I had close contact with him in his private practice when I was handling the appointment of counsel. Harold was really great about taking the difficult cases, and I confess I gave him some cases that were real dogs! Harold was a skilled attorney and a hoot to work with. I miss him already. God bless the family, and special thoughts to Currin.

John Collins

March 28, 2013

To the Bender Family,
I had the opportunity to work with Harold while a member of the Charlotte Police Dept. I always learned something from him in and out of the courtroom , My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this time.

John Collins
CMPD (RET)

John Stewart

March 28, 2013

So sorry to hear Head died. I grew up on Hawthorne Rd. in Winston about 10 house down. Althought 4 years younger, I still have fond memories growing up. Followed his footsteps and am a Lawyer in Chapel Hill.

Tailgating before a Panther game

Kim Alix

March 27, 2013

I have lost the best crabbing buddy ever. Head, you were a gentle man with a gentle spirit and I am so fortunate to have had you be a special part of my life. Nita and I will continue on. She'll take care of the Holden house and I'll keep an eye on the marsh. Now that there's no competition between us, I expect you to be on my side while I'm crabbing... please make sure those side walking buggers take my bait. Will hold you in my heart forever!

March 27, 2013

Nita,
My sympathy to you and the boys Brad and Ford on the loss of Ed. I will be praying for you and the family.
Love, Pat Hillen
and Eloise too

David Keesler

March 27, 2013

I was so sorry to hear about Harold. In every chapter of my career -- prosecutor, defense attorney, and now judge -- I learned a lot from Harold. These past few days, those of us in the federal court family in Charlotte have been swapping favorite stories of our times with Harold over the years. He was a terrific lawyer and a bigger than life figure. He will be missed. My best to the family.

Judge David Cayer

March 27, 2013

Harold was a skilled advocate in the courtroom, and most of all a good friend. God bless his family during this sad time.

Gail Elder

March 27, 2013

Nita, I was sorry to hear about Harold's passing. He was a pleasure to work for years ago. May God bless you and your family.

Brent Walker

March 27, 2013

Harold was a great attorney who also had the ability to relate to real world people and situations. When I first started in 2000 he always had time to assist a new practitioner with any questions that may arise without being condescending. He will be greatly missed. My thoughts and prayers are with the family.

davis trotter

March 27, 2013

Currin.. I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your dad.. "head" was a true southern gentleman and scholar whether you agreed or disagreed with his views.. it was a pleasure working on many committees at Holy Comforter with him.. My thoughts and prayers are with you.. god bless

Bill Coy

March 27, 2013

Harold Bender was a true Southern Gentleman that represented the legal profession as a mentor and role model.

MAX PACE

March 27, 2013

HAROLD BENDER WAS ONE FINE AND VERY HONEST MAN,LAWYER,FATHER,HUSBAND AND MOST OF ALL MY FRIEND..WE WILL SURE MISS HAROLD.MAY GOD BLESS HIS FAMILY,THE COURTS WILL MISS A LEGAL ANGEL..THANKS HAROLD YOU WERE A TRUE FRIEND

Steven Jessup

March 27, 2013

WOW, Im totally shocked just as others are I can imagine. Ironically I was just looking in the observer online and saw this when normally I just read msn and G-D said check out the observer glad I did. Mr Bender represented me 15/20yrs ago before I got my life together. He didnt just represent me he guided, coahed, encouraged, etc. He was one of the very few who didnt give up on me and when I had the pleasure of seeing him a year ago in federal court building we hugged each other and he said he was proud.
A great lawyer, but a FANTASTIC HUMAN BEING WITH A FANTASTIC HEART AND SOUL which is what G-D examines not our titles. May G-D forgive him his sins and grant him paradise and my G-D,s peace the peace that only G-D can bestowe be on you all(the family), and all that you may come in contact with.
Please accept my apology for the long message.

Kirt Tolman

March 27, 2013

He was a great man who I enjoyed visiting with when he came to the jail to meet with his clients. He was always polite and a very patient gentlemen. May he rest in peace!

Carol Kilgore

March 27, 2013

So sorry to hear of Harolds passing. I work with him for many years at the Courthouse. He always had a smile on his face, and alot of fun. RIP Harold you will be missed by all.

Cenie Alexander Smith

March 26, 2013

I worked with Harold in the US Atforneys office. He had a great sense of humor. One of my favorite attorneys to work with.

Lisa Shanklin

March 26, 2013

Currin, I know light perpetual will shine on your Dad. I love and miss you.

March 26, 2013

I shall remember "Head" with great respect and love. When I met Head I was viying for the Miss Statesville Pagent 1975-76 and won. He then became my business manager and treated me always with much kindness and respect. As I recall the times he stood by my side I am happy even in sadness that I knew such a man as he and his name is Head Bender. Deborah A. Knox

Phil Kelley

March 26, 2013

I am saddened to lose Head. He and I worked as Assistant US Attorneys together and I respected him and his work ethic. The bar has lost an excellent steward.

Lisa Matthews

March 26, 2013

I just heard of Harold's passing this afternoon. I am still in shock. I worked for Harold for about 6 1/2 years, he gave me my first shot at working for a law firm. He taught me so much and was such as good friend as well, you will be missed so much my friend. To think I just spoke to you a few months ago. My thoughts and prayers are with the entire family.

NORMAN FREEMAN

March 26, 2013

ANOTHER FINE ATTORNEY GONE. HE WAS A GREAT ATTORNEY AND WILL BE MISSED BY ALL THAT KNEW HIM MAY YOU RIP MY FRIEND.

Ken McAllister

March 26, 2013

Nita, I am so saddened by the death of a great lawyer and a great human being. My contacts with Harold were sporadic, having met him when he was US Attorney for the Western District of NC, having mediated a case for him, and having the honor of meeting both of you at Holden Beach. He truly was one of the "good guys", and made us all proud to be lawyers. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Bill Leake

March 26, 2013

Was dismayed to learn of Head's passing. From our times together at Reynolds High School through the Beta house at Carolina, he was a friend. God bless him.

March 26, 2013

Harold was always a gentleman, always kind. It was a pleasure working with him and he will be sorely missed at the Courthouse. I am not alone in these sentiments and I have heard these statements from everyone here this week. Nita you will be in my prayers.
Gina Essey

Shelli Simontacchi

March 26, 2013

I am so sorry to hear about Harold's passing. I worked for Harold for over six years..so many good memories from working numerous trials with him. I learned a lot about the legal field while working for him. My thoughts and prayers to Nita, Currin and other family members.

Hulbert Glenn

March 26, 2013

Harold was a great mentor and father figure to me as a high school student and throughout my college career. Without his guidance and support, I honestly don't know where i would be today. Harold...RIP

March 26, 2013

Haraold was good friend to me and a fine mentor to our young First Tee participants here in Brunswick County. He always had a smile and loved his golf and his Nita. We all will miss you Head here at The First Tee of Brunswick County. You pal, Coach Terry Mauney PGA Program and Academy Director The First Tee of Brunswick County

Catherine El-Khouri

March 26, 2013

I had known Harold for the entire time I have practiced criminal law in Charlotte. He was truly a mentor to younger attorneys just starting out and I grew to greatly admire him. His dedication to his clients and upholding the rights of the accused was unwaiverable. My sincerest sympathies to his family.

March 26, 2013

As an FBI agent during the time Harold was a federal prosecutor, I had many opportunities to work with him. What a joy. He was easygoing, yet thorough and tough when he needed to be. We developed a close friendship that endured long after his days as a prosecutor. When I retired, my first case as a private investigator was one of Harold's high profile cases. Harold was a great person and a great friend. I am sorry that he is not with us anymore. Well done. God bless.

Leila Lahbabi

March 26, 2013

I worked with him when I was at the DA's Office and always had the highest respect for him. He will be missed. My condolences to the family.

George Laughrun, II

March 26, 2013

Nita, Harold was a great mentor and friend. We tried several cases together and as co-counsel. He is and will be missed, my thoughts and prayers are with you

Jon Cawley

March 26, 2013

The Courtroom, Gridiron, and the Golf Course will miss Head. The memories and the stories will carry on.

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