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Ellen Porter Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Ellen Porter
Mary Jo McEvoy
November 2, 2008
Although I knew Ellen for only a short time her graciousness was so beautiful. After she moved to the Mount, one day I was helping hang a plant and picture in her room. The next day I received a lovely thank you note. I was so moved that in the midst of her pain she was thinking about others and took the time and energy to express her gratitude. Seeing Ellen through the eyes of others is a beautiful thing. The stories of friendship and adventure, laughter and pain, courage and hope are so wonderful to hear over and over. A special thank you to Ellen’s dear friend, Marlene for sharing her friendship and love of Ellen with me.
In her poem What God Intended Ellen speaks of ‘these moments of joyful mystery’ I love the last sentence, ‘These perfect moments pulling me on and pulling me on until one day, I will slide smoothly out of this world and perfectly, permanently, as God intended, slip into the next one singing.’ Let us all sing with Ellen
Marjie & Gary Toops
October 24, 2008
Our sincerest sympathies to Caryn and her family. We know that she will be missed but that our memories of her will always be in our hearts.
Lynn Weissert
October 11, 2008
When I think of Ellen now it is with great gratitude. . . that our journeys crossed again and again, that she always let me in no matter how long since our last connection, and that she insisted on my being her hospice nurse. She spoke with candid eloquence and we met often in shared silence; momentary or sustained, these times were gift and learning for me. I do not begrudge Ellen her moving on . . I pray she has found deep peace.
Bob&Pat McTaggart
September 22, 2008
Dear Ellen, We will miss the great spirit and courage you always had when we visited with all you Sisters in Erie. Your poetry will always have a very special spot in our hearts. You had an exceptional gift in the use of words to awaken so many senses. Rest in Peace Dear Ellen....Your friends Bob & Pat
Pat McGaffigan
September 20, 2008
I extend my condolences to Sr. Ellen's family, to the Staffs at the Alliance for International Monasticism, and at Benetvision, to the Sisters of Ellen's loving community, and to Ellen's friends.
My memories of Ellen include several opportunities to see her when she visited her family in Portland, OR. During each of her last four trips she and I spent a little time together enjoying our friendship and our collaboration on the book ministry of AIM where she so faithfully selected, packed, and shipped spiritual books to the mission monastics in developing countries. Either by telephone or by emails we joined our efforts to find significant meaning and purpose in that ministry. One Sunday morning during her last visit we traveled to the Benedictine Sisters in Mt. Angel, OR, for Eucharist and brunch. While in the chapel Ellen gazed for awhile at a very large, circular, blue tapestry with dazzling gold and silver light rays radiating from the center of it. The beautiful tapestry, mounted on a prominent wall, symbolizes St. Benedict's experience of seeing the entire world in a single ray of light. Ellen gazed at it awhile and then spoke of her profound appreciation of its message. As I remember those moments I treasure her ability to reflect personally on this connection with the world and with monastics around the world. Certainly Ellen has a very special place in my life, and I am grateful for all that she shared of her vision and life experiences. Her prayer, work, poetry, and friendship have truly been gifts freely given. She has taught me a lot. May my memories of Ellen continue to inspire and encourage me through God's grace in this journey of love, prayer, and service.
Hendrika de Vries
September 10, 2008
My deepest condolences to Ellen's Benedictine Community and all those who were blessed by the gift of her presence. Ellen was a student of mine who over the years we knew each other became my spiritual teacher through her deep poetic wisdom and compassionate, enduring heart. A deep, mystical and gracious soul, she will never be far away.
Sr. Cristina Ovejera,FdCC
September 8, 2008
Without knowing about Sr. Ellen's passing away, I used her booklet of poetry for meditation just yesterday. Packing my things for my new assignment in Toronto,ON, I chanced upon Ellen's book (a gift from Sr. CarolynGK). Now, I'm certain that I have a prayer-partner as I venture to my new life north of the border. My loving condolences to Sr. Ellen's family, and to her OSB community in Erie. I keep you all in my prayer, as I treasure memories of time spent with you all.
My Canossian community will offer a Mass of remembrance for Ellen.
Kathleen Schatzberg
September 8, 2008
My deepest condolences to Ellen's Benedictine community in Erie, and to all who were blessed by her love and friendship in her too few years on this side of eternal time. I hope it is a comfort to think of her in the loving arms of God now, no more pain, just pure love. Though I met Ellen only twice when I was in Erie, her luminosity and courage were evident, and I feel blessed to have met her and felt the bounty of grace she offered to everyone around her. I feel doubly blessed by the treasury of poetry and spirit she left behind. May all her loved ones find peace, and may all of us carry her spirit forward in the world.
Mary Peters
September 8, 2008
I knew Ellen as a guest here at St. Lucy's Priory when she to visit her Mother and Dad.
It was a comparatively short time but One could se a beautiful soul. MDP
Carolyn Gorny-Kopkowski
September 8, 2008
I have known and appreciated Ellen as friend, as "house mate" and as a sister in our Benedictine Community for all the years she has been in Erie. Her spirit now lives within me just as her remarkable life blest us in countless ways. The last two years will remain with me in the sacred silence of treasured memories.
Mary Lou Kownacki, OSB
September 8, 2008
Come, let us praise our God.
Let the soaring mountains and giant redwoods
leap in praise
Let all poets and lovers of the word
sing a verse
Let wisdom figures of all great spiritual traditions
lift a prayer
Let peacemakers and compassion seekers
bow in honor
For our dear sister, Ellen Porter,
-this steady mountain of truth
-this gifted poet
-this magnet to God in monastic life
-this deep pool of peace
-this woman of rare integrity
-this heart of boundless friendship
has graced our lives and left a valued memory
of how precious is each single breath we breathe.
We are grateful, O God, for the priceless gift of a life
that will impact our own for days without end. Amen
Sharon Harland
September 8, 2008
I will always be grateful to Sister Ellen for her kindness to my brother,
Brother Thomas. He spoke with fondness of her care and concern.
Saima Scott
September 6, 2008
I remember meeting Ellen soon after she arrived in Erie. We were working at Glinodo during the summer. Years passed and I saw little of Ellen until we lived together at Pax Priory, and I watched and saw how she had softened and opened and gentled and continued to do so over the years of her terrible illness.
I remember the first time I heard one of her poem's at a Spirit of the Season's Retreat. It was funny and smart and touching. I wanted to hear more. And now she has left us her legacy of poetry, but even more her legacy of hope for transformation and trust that even in the bitterest of situations it is possible to choose to live and to love. For this I am grateful to Ellen, and for many things I will miss her. I send my condolences to the Community, her family and friends, and especially to Marlene, whose heart connection is awesome.
Joan Chittister
September 1, 2008
IN HONOR OF ELLEN, THE QUIET ONE
joan chittister
Ellen Porter was three rare gems
mounted in a single setting:
she was a mountain of courage,
a wall of silence,
a laser-beam of insight.
Her mountain was made up of the years-long
struggle with death
from whose clutches she escaped
over and over again.
From a wrestling match with God
called cancer
she rose time after time
to new life.
In every resurrection they called remission
she became a woman more lively, more uncluttered,
more unpretentiously luminous.
Ellen lived with death, so long, so well
it became the marker of her life
and so stood, ironically, as a counterpoint to our own.
She showed us in her aura of living death
what was really necessary to the good life:
strength for the long haul,
courage for the tiring climb,
companions for the way.
She led us to take for granted
that such immortality could really be won on earth
and then dashed us back into reality
by going from us at its hand,
far too abruptly,
much too quickly to be absorbed.
And so her spirit stays with us still,
always alive, forever thriving on death,
incontestably the sign of eternity,
both here and there.
A big woman with an even bigger heart
she showed us the radiant side
of the journey to eternity--
its demands, its overwhelming depth,
its dismissal of trivia,
its identification of the important things of life:
She moved even closer to her friends, we saw.
She drew strength from one great love
and made it many.
She looked ever more honestly
at the broken strands of her life
and mended them.
She made awareness of death her gift to us all.
She shared it, bit by agonizing bit,
till each of us became friend with it.
Few, indeed, die so slowly-and so well.
ELLEN WAS ALSO A WALL OF SILENCE.
She was an observer of life,
a thinker, a ruminator.
She watched the world from the edge of it
at one level,
and from its very center at another.
Nothing was unimportant to Ellen.
The nurse in her scratched down
to the marrow
of the bones of existence
and exposed every torturously exquisite --element of it.
She asked the whys within
when others only said 'because'
and often came to different decisions
than those around her.
She thought no less of them
for being other
but she herself found it impossible to drink the water
of tradition or authority or social expectation
just because it was more comfortable
to make peace with the conventional
rather than to expose its shadows.
Behind those inscrutable eyes,
under that cryptic hint of a smile,
she kept her own counsel--
free of the judgments of others,
free to be herself.
Eternally unchained in either heart or spirit
by either mind or space
She was, then,
Free to move from one religion
to another
loving both.
Free to move from one region
of the country to another,
yet embedded in both.
Free to move from one way
of being in the world to another
yet totally committed to the good in both.
"All these things," as the scriptures say,
"she pondered in her heart"
and became a piece of the truth
for which we all seek.
FINALLY, ELLEN WAS A LASER-BEAM OF INSIGHT:
Broken open physically for years,
she grew into a cauldron of experience
overflowing into poetry.
She lived with suffering
as others live with joy,
using one to amplify
the meaning of the other in her.
Living life from the observation point of the soul
it was her poetry
that broke her silence
in such a way that what she did not say
aloud when she lived will outlive her for years,
will echo on after her,
will let her speak within many more than only we
here and now,
but also then and there,
until the ripples of her unspoken words
and the sound waves of their layered meanings
stop riffling their insights through time.
No wonder then we feel so keenly--
in each of our own unspoken ways--
that she is, though gone, not gone
but with us yet
for time, and time, to come.
Ted Fowler
August 31, 2008
I read with great sadness the news of Ellen’s death. My heart goes out to first of all to her sister Caryn and to all who have been close to Ellen over the decades, which, as I peruse the previous entries in this online guest book, read like so many discrete chapters in Ellen’s rich and clearly meaningful life.
My association with Ellen was concentrated in the first and second decades, as a neighbor who lived right across the street and who grew up with her, more like brother and sister than as neighbors. Like siblings, we knew impish intrigue, intense rivalry, and great affection. We formed our own club, played endless games of make-believe, and were indefatigable in our quest to remain children. In short, I knew her in her prime, or so I would like to believe, just before and after our ages had broken double digits.
Although we were eventually defeated by the world around us in our quest to fend off adulthood, I carry with me to this day countless memories of what a childhood ought to be like, and cherish the lesson, however imperfectly learned, that if we can retain anything at all from our childhood, it ought to be our imagination.
Sheila McLaughlin
August 28, 2008
I have had the good fortune to work with Ellen for the past 4 very blessed years. I enjoyed getting to know Ellen and to be able to call her "friend". I loved her quiet presence, her sense of humor and her great love of the written word. She introduce me to new authors, her love of poetry and the importance of prayer. I always felt I was able to talk to Ellen about anything -she understood and never judged. I miss her very much.
Tina Picchi
August 26, 2008
Ellen,
Thank you for leaving your unique and loving imprint on my heart. I will always treasure the work we shared at St. John's and your friendship.
Maggie Zeller
August 26, 2008
Ellen,
How could I know back those many years ago when you first came to Erie,
how much your life would touch mine. These last 3 years especially have
been so precious and spiritual. Thank you for your trust, your love and
your great insight. Oh, and I'll miss your wonderful sense of humor.
Go, now, and be at peace.
Scott & Sherry Meiners
August 26, 2008
You fought the great battle. Be at peace.
Cheryl Bough
August 26, 2008
How can I name what is in my heart? Ellen and I connected because of our shared love of wild places. She was a woman of honesty, courage and faithfulness. I have been overwhelmingly blessed by her friendship. She was pure gift.
Dorothy Scovil
August 26, 2008
I'm sitting here in front of a computer when I want to be sitting here with you Ellen. I sitting here crying and wanting one last touch of your Grace. Yes I know I have it always, but I miss your presence. Thank you dear one for all of everything you gave to me . When I miss you I will read your poetry and remember your love. Many deep blessings and thank yous to all the wonderful sisters and friends who took amazing care of Ellen . I love you all.
Fr. jim Willems
August 26, 2008
Sister Ellen has affected lives of more people than she probably suspected. With a life lived as close to Grace as hers, one can only celebrate that she no longer has to deal with the terrible illness. As a cancer survivor myself. I wish her fight had given her more time. Love and blessings to her friends.
Kim sentinella
August 25, 2008
I shall miss you. Being your friend was eye opening. Working with you was fun. Being your Boss was a challenge. A challenge I loved. The "Boss" you chose for the last 10 years has been perfect. Who else could handle you.
I love you,
Kim
Marlene Bertke
August 25, 2008
Ellen was beyond all expectation of what a friend can be. Her quiet presence, her deep sensitivity, her love of beauty, her genuine goodness and integrity--she has been a priceless gift in my life.
I walked through some pretty dark days with Ellen--and she never gave up. She fought for life and wholeness and succeeded in a way that few people could have.
I will miss her terribly but I am filled with gratitude for all that we have shared. I'm just glad that she said "Yes" when I invited her to cut grass with me the day after she arrived from California. Little did she know....
Rest in peace, my friend, where all your days are "70 and sunny."
Vena Eastwood
August 25, 2008
It is with sadness this morning I read of Ellen's passing. On my many visits to the Mount I came to know Ellen as a gentle giant of a woman, with a gentle smile and always a kind word. Her long illness, bravely bourne was an example to all who met her. Now she has her eternal reward and we have our abiding memories of Sister Ellen OSB.
Benita Coffey, O.S.B.
August 24, 2008
When visiting at Pax Priory a year ago, I had the good fortune to meet Ellen, and through this past year have come to know her through her poems online. In glory now, may she experience joy. My prayers for her Sisters and friends as they learn to share with her now in a new way.
Linda Gray
August 24, 2008
Our paths crossed
then collided
and became one
for a few full years.
Then slowly, they pulled apart
like opposite sides of Velcro
as you followed your own way.
But before that parting
we shared a life and a home together.
We shared a garden
and sweet tangerines,
jigsaw puzzles with Mozart and Bach,
backgammon and gin rummy tournaments
and the Dodgers.
We shared ocean waves
on boogie boards side by side
leaping dolphins
Yosemite hikes
and the “where am I” game,
one trying to guess where the other’s
mind had wandered.
We shared the first sign that something was wrong
the mind-numbing diagnosis
and the fear that followed.
I knew you so well.
You knew me so well.
And that was the greatest gift of all—
that knowing and being known.
I love you, Ellen,
I’ll always miss you.
Linda and Pen
August 24, 2008
Our hearts go out to Caryn and Valerie and little Gracie, to Ellen's loving community, and to all who loved such an amazing and wonderful woman.
Ruth Banks
August 24, 2008
The wondrous gift that is Ellen has been present in my life since she was five years old, some 55 years ago. It has been my honor to follow her through the years as she matured into a radiant woman whose many gifts will continue to enrich my life. Friend, poet, warm, wise and compassionate human being and as she lived with cancer for so many years, she has shown us remarkable courage. I will miss her. Love and strength to her family and Community in their loss.
The Rev. Jean Carmichael
August 24, 2008
Ellen was a dear and special friend for over 46 years. Though time and geography often kept us in different parts of the country, the connection was always there. She was a joy and gift to all who knew her. My prayers and love to Ellen's family, Caryn, Valerie, Gracie and to her Community. Her transitory life is over, may God grant her eternal rest. Let light perpetual shine upon her, and may her soul rest in peace.
Theresa Hernandez
August 24, 2008
Condolences to Sr. Ellen's family, God bless you. I cherish the memories made while working with Ellen at UBS/Ventura .... what a pleasure to have known Ellen, a powerful, positive women.
Marilyn Scott
August 24, 2008
For dearest Ellen, I send blessings on her journey home. May she go well and safely now that this struggle is over. Our long, heart-connected friendship embraced so much life, both rough and joyful, and has stayed strong across time and distance and circumstance--and does and will still. Along with her complexity, she had a simplicity of heart and beingness and expression that shone like a beacon to so many of us. My life is so enriched by her numberless gifts of spirit--her poems, her joy in dolphins and ocean, sage, redwoods, beach walks, loved songs. I'm grateful for all these ways of evoking her presence. And I miss terribly the sound of her voice and her physical being in the world.
Betty Cahill, OSB
August 24, 2008
Ellen was a strong and calm presence. Her poetry spoke of her inner struggle with cancer and of her deep love of life and friends. She will be missed by all who knew and loved her.
Kimberly Porter, OSB
August 24, 2008
Ellen's gentle and loving presence was a gift to all whose lives she touched. I remember several conversations in which she offered words of wisdom, encouragement and a touch of humor. May she now rest at peace in God's loving embrace. May all who mourn find solace and comfort in the many memories of times shared and in the company of each other.
Mimi Simson
August 24, 2008
My condolences and love go to Ellen's family and so many friends. Prayers are sent in thanksgiving for her life and for her many gifts.
JoAmy Rice
August 23, 2008
I have many fond, fun memories of my days working with Ellen in Ventura. She lives on in our memories.
Therese Djahanshahi
August 23, 2008
Ellen blessed this planet for too brief a time, but what a remarkable legacy she leaves. Her strength, grace, humor and utter honesty through life and in her death serve as an inspiration to many. What a privilege to have known Ellen and called her friend!
Rest well in joy and peace, oh valiant woman, sweet poet.
Darlene Chauvin
August 23, 2008
Ellen entered my life about 35 years ago, and left an indelible imprint on my heart and soul. I knew her as the nurse who sang her patients to sleep, a friend always eager for a hike in the mountains, and a free, creative spirit, always seeking truth and finding God in all things. Rest in peace my dear friend.
cathie williams-earvin
August 23, 2008
God bless the family of Ellen , what a gift she was to many people , It was a great pleasure to know her .
Mette Julian
August 23, 2008
"Go, Ellen, go safely, and love be ever with you." Thus I sang when I first met you and so I sing today.
Thank you for countless lessons in love, faith, endurance and friendship which I have been so privileged to witness just a little through Marlene's missives and in your poetry. They represent
a lasting legacy which reaches very far and wide and I shall keep them in my heart .
Mette (A singing sister from Santa Barbara)
Sr. Marge Boyle nds
August 23, 2008
Ellen's gift of love and deep beauty now will certainly enrich Heaven. Her journey--the pains and the joys--has been a long one and is now completed; I having known her for so many years, and have been privileged to be both a participant and an observer. She will be sorely missed by all of us who knew and loved her.
Kim VanderLaan
August 23, 2008
I have so many fond memories of Ellen, she will be dearly missed. I feel so blessed to have had her in my life. Rest in Peace my friend. Love, Lil Kim
Dodie and Paul List
August 23, 2008
Ellen was such a nice person -always so kind and calm no matter what she was facing.
BRIAN McHUGH
August 23, 2008
SINCERE SYMPATHY TO THE COMMUNITY WITH THE LOSS OF A SISTER IN SPIRIT.
Mary Frances Baugh
August 22, 2008
Sr. Ellen and I shared our love of poetry and poets, such as Mary Oliver. Ellen inspired me to write this love poem after reading one of her poems:
THE CUP OF MY HANDS
"I hold you fragile as a dream in the cup of my hands." Ellen Porter, OSB
I hold you, a memory now -
your laugh, your smile, your eyes
that knew my soul are vivid - warm
as steaming tea in a china cup.
Where are you? Why can't I touch you,
hold you, be immersed in you?
Will it always be like this - holding
you only in the cup of my hands?
I place my hands tightly over my heart,
longing to find you there, holding me,
your kiss warming my breath.
Fragile as a dream, I become
a love poem.
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