Esther Louise Guyer

Esther Guyer Obituary

Esther Louise (Heck) Guyer East Lansing Age 97, died May 8, 2010 in Berrien Springs, MI; born October 22, 1912 in Haverstraw, New York. Mrs. Guyer passed away peacefully in her sleep, having declined rapidly after learning of the death of her daughter. She was preceded in death by her husbands: John Jones, Fred Doris, and Paul Guyer; by her brothers: Charles, Gerard, and Lawrence; and by her daughter, Sarah L. Huyser on January 25, 2010. Surviving are her 2 granddaughters, Karen Huyser and Lauren (Alan) Krieger; and 2 great-granddaughters, Rachel Krieger and Dylan Krieger. Esther was born to Charles and Sarah (Lawlor) Heck. She and her three brothers grew up in the Rockland County area of New York. She was raised Catholic and attended Catholic schools as a girl. As a young woman she waited tables and later worked at the Garnerville Print Works, where she set pins into the rollers that dyed patterns on the cloth. However, most of her working life was spent as a domestic. Esther and her mother often worked for the same household, doing the cleaning and cooking and providing catering services when the family entertained guests. Often her duties as a domestic included child care; she helped raise children in the MacGillicuddy, Heeke and Huyser families. She continued to work as a domestic until she was well into her eighties, and was always much loved and valued by those for whom she worked. Esther originally moved to the Lansing area in 1948 with her husband, mother, and daughter, staying for eight years. She returned with her daughter's family in 1969, living with them in East Lansing until 2006 when she and her daughter Sarah moved to Niles and then Berrien Springs in order to be closer to granddaughter Lauren. Esther tried and enjoyed many things in her long life. She loved to dance; as a girl she would walk two miles each way to go dancing. She loved gardening and flowers, especially yellow ones, and took up flower arranging as an adult. She learned embroidery and sewing from her Grandma Augusta, who made her beautiful clothes growing up; her whole life she took great pride in her appearance and was always tastefully groomed and dressed. She played at bingo and solved jigsaw puzzles. She loved music and loved to hear her granddaughters sing. But most of her energy was spent on her family. She doted on her mother, daughter, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and she encouraged them all to stay together and work together. A list of the many events and milestones in her long life would include (in order) WWI; eighth grade graduation and her first job; the loss of her youngest brother; her first marriage; the birth of her daughter Sarah; the loss of her father when 22; the Great Depression; WWII and the loss of her oldest brother in the Battle of the Bulge; her second marriage; moving from New York to Lansing when 35; her daughter's marriage in 1951; granddaughters born in 1956 and 1959; the loss of her middle brother and her mother; learning to drive at 50; night school in bookkeeping; her third marriage; the loss of her son-in-law, whom she adored; Lauren's marriage; two great-grandchildren; and 97 birthdays, especially her 90th, which was celebrated with her church family at All Saints Episcopal. Church and devotions were important to her throughout her life. She liked to read daily prayers every morning and went to church every Sunday she could. Esther was a good, kind woman who loved her family, friends and church. She was a great daughter, sister, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She will be sorely missed by everyone who knew her and loved her. Memorial services will be held Saturday, May 29, 2:00 pm at All Saints Episcopal Church, 800 Abbot Road, East Lansing with the Rev. Katherine Ann Carlson, officiating. The family will receive friends at the Church Saturday 1 hour prior to the service. Those desiring may make contributions to All Saints Episcopal Church or to the Salvatorian Society of the Divine Savior in memory of Mrs. Esther Guyer. Online condolences may be sent to www.gorslineruncimaneastlansing.com.

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Published by Lansing State Journal on May 26, 2010.

Memories and Condolences
for Esther Guyer

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1 Entry

Alan Krieger

November 21, 2012

Homily delivered at Esther's funeral by her grandson-in-law, Alan D. Krieger: “HUMAN LOVE AND THE LOVE OF GOD”

I first met Esther around Christmas of 1982. She was in Tucson with her daughter Sarah and granddaughter Lauren to see her other granddaughter Karen who, like me, was a graduate student at the University of Arizona. I was, shall we say, very taken with Lauren and soon enough Bada, as she's known to everyone in the immediate family, was my grandmother-in-law. For whatever reason, we hit it off right away. Maybe it was our common Irish ancestry or New York area background or the fact that “Esther” was also my mother's name, but – whatever the reasons – we enjoyed chatting about family, common acquaintances, current events, all kinds of things. She sensed right away that I was something of an American history buff so she enjoyed regaling me with stories about her brothers (Charles, Gerry, and Lawrence), other members of her family and, more generally, American life before and during World War II. And so, as some very fortunate in-laws will, we grew to care for, to love each other. For over 25 years, we enjoyed each other's company; I hope I brightened her life a bit; I know she brightened mine a lot.
But in the last few years, things changed, as often happens when age and infirmity begin to take their tolls. Most of the time Bada remembered who I was when I went to see her; occasionally she just seemed confused by my presence. Increasingly, she didn't seem able to recall the identities of, let alone talk about, those who had been closest to her. And although some of us who cared for her could still demonstrate our love, it struck me that a number of her older friends and acquaintances had very likely become as disoriented in their memories and connections with her, as she was with them.
Over the past few months, these developments have gotten me thinking about the very real limits of human love. We mean well, of course, but the fact is that the depth of close human relationships is contingent on a certain quality of consciousness. They depend greatly on clarity of recollection and a continuing ability to put past and present events in a meaningful context. I don't think you have to be a psychologist to realize that these are complex mental tasks; we often take them for granted when we're younger of course, but the aging process can powerfully reveal the fragility of our emotional life.
But the good – no, great – news for the Christian is that we know (or should know) that God's love has no such limitations. He is constant; the same yesterday, today, and forever, and His love for His children does not fade. St. Peter affirms this in his First Epistle when he reminds us that our spiritual inheritance is incorruptible and undefiled and does not fade away, reserved in Heaven for you. In the light of recent events, I appreciate Solomon's warning in Ecclesiastes, chapter 12, to “remember your creator in the days of your youth, before the difficult days come and the years draw near when you say ‘I have no pleasure in them.'” If we accept God's gift of faith and believe His promise of salvation through His Son Jesus Christ, His love will sustain us and give us spiritual life, even as our material faculties fail in the present earthly regime of sin, disease, and death. Christ himself assures us in John 14:23 that through the indwelling Holy Spirit, the eternal God makes his home with us and this is why He can uphold us personally even as He is “upholding all things by the word of His power,” according to Hebrews 1:3. Peter insists in his First Letter (chapter 5, verse 7) that Christians should be “casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”
Finally, these reflections have unlocked for me the truth of one of the so-called hard sayings of Jesus, Matthew 10:37: “He who loves Father or Mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” In my view, this is not to denigrate the importance of human love, but to recognize that we should love God first because His love is greater, and more constant, and more efficacious than ours. Fully revealed through the sacrifice of His Son, His is the love of the Creator, with the power of life itself and the ability to eternally sustain: remember Jesus' declaration in John 11:26 that “whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” Ours is the love of the creature, a sometimes impressive reflection – but still just a reflection – of the power of God's love. John's first letter helpfully clarifies this difference. “In this is love,” he explains, “not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
Christ held Bada in His arms even as she slipped away from us. And although we can no longer see her from here, He is with her, loving her, in a Kingdom where the limits imposed by sin no longer apply, even now and forever. In knowing this, we can be grateful -- for her sake, and for ours.

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