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James E. McIlvain

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University of Southern California Yale University

FUNERAL HOME

Darling & Fischer Chapel of the Hills

615 North Santa Cruz Avenue

Los Gatos, California

James McIlvain Obituary

James E. McIlvain Sept. 21, 1945 - Jan. 14, 2009 SAN JOSE - James Elkins McIlvain (Jim), who spent most of his adult years in the San Jose and Los Gatos area of California, died in Los Gatos on January 14, 2009 after a difficult battle with cancer and a recent stroke. Jim was born in Fort Worth, Texas and went to various schools across the country, making close friendships all along the way. He is the son of the late Robert Wallace McIlvain, Jr. and Mildred Diver McIlvain. Jim graduated from high school at The Hill School in Pottstown, Pennsylvania and from college at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut. His education included a BS in Engineering and Applied Science from Yale, an MBA from the University of Southern California and an MS in Law from Peninsula University Law School. Jim retired from IBM as a Senior Engineer, Planner, and Manager after 30 dedicated years and consistently received recognition for his technical and leadership contributions throughout his working years with many patents, honors and awards. Following retirement, Jim received his JD from Lincoln Law School of San Jose and gave back to his community serving as a professor at Lincoln. Over the years, Jim also provided leadership service and support to many community and academic organizations. Jim was an avid photographer and traveler. He was well known for his gentle spirit, good humor and positive attitude throughout his life and especially during his final days. Jim was preceded in death by his life partner Mary Averill. Jim will be greatly missed by his brother Mac; sister-in-law Kimball; nieces Ashley, Whitney and Lindsay; Ashley's husband Sean and their daughter Rhea; and close friends across the country. The family would especially like to thank the staff at Stanford Medical Center for their help in Jim's valiant fight against cancer, and the staff at Good Samaritan Hospital for their treatment of Jim's recent stroke. These medical facilities exhibited the highest degree of professionalism and skilled patient care. Jim's family is extremely grateful for their service. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Cancer Society. Friends are invited to join Jim's family at a visitation on Sunday, January 18th from 4-7 p.m. at Darling-Fischer Chapel of the Hills Funeral Home, 615 N. Santa Cruz Avenue, Los Gatos. The funeral service will be held on Monday, January 19th at 1 p.m. at The Episcopal Church in Almaden, 6581 Camden Avenue, San Jose, with the Rector Stephen Mills officiating. The service will be followed by a graveside service at the Los Gatos Memorial Park, 2255 Los Gatos Almaden Road, San Jose.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by San Jose Mercury News on Jan. 16, 2009.

Memories and Condolences
for James McIlvain

16 Entries

Tom Devine

January 28, 2009

I "met" Jim through our Yale class's email list, and then met him in person at his lovely home in Los Altos. Jim's courage and good humor in facing his cancer, and fighting it, were exemplary. He was a true gentleman, and I will miss his gracious presence on this earth.

Jerry de Jaager

January 28, 2009

I live in Santa Cruz and was a college classmate of Jim's, but we had never met until I learned that he had cancer. I went to visit him, mostly out of a sense that it was "the right thing to do," but after about 15 minutes I realized how much I had been missing by not meeting him sooner. He was warm, brave, very funny, amazingly smart and accomplished, and a pleasure to spend time with. On a future visit I got to play croquet on his lawn. I can only imagine how much he is missed by those who had the pleasure of knowing him longer than I had. He spoke often of his fondness and appreciation for his brother and his brother's family. My deepest condolences to all who knew and loved him. I will miss him, too.

Richard Lawler

January 26, 2009

Jim was a friend and roommate in college. He was always very thoughtful and considerate. He was very smart and very comfortable with himself. He did not need to be loud to make his point. Over the years he was always very generous to Yale and I think he loved his years there. I have not spoken to him in a couple of years and am very sorry to learn of his death. A very classy guy who will be missed. God bless him and his many friends.
Dick Lawler

Sue Alexander

January 25, 2009

The McIlvain family has gained from having Jim in their lives and so has many other people, including me.
Jim will be missed and I am one of many that will miss his caring, his emails, his phone calls, his humor, and mostly for me his fabulous mind. Mac, Kimble, Ashley, Lindsey and Whitney you are loved always by JIm.

Martin Purvis

January 18, 2009

I had not seen Jim since 1967, but he made a strong and lasting impression on me. He was a good person and a good friend.

Jay Hines

January 17, 2009

Jim and I took a few classes together in college, had been out of touch for 40 years, and then had a final lunch in San Francisco just a couple of weeks ago. He lived an exemplary life, faced death courageously, and will be sorely missed by all of us who were privileged to know him.

Roger Ley

January 17, 2009

Jim came through to me as a gentle and intelligent and brave soul even though I met him only as far as I know by phone in the last month. I am very sad. His family can be very proud of him. Roger Ley, yc 67

George Lazarus

January 17, 2009

Jim was a true gentleman. He was a valued member of the Yale Class of 1967. He shared some of his experiences with his final illness with us on our listserve. I greatly admired his equanimity, grace and intelligence as he dealt with personal tragedy. He will be sorely missed. I extend my condolences to his family.
George M. Lazarus, MD Yale '67

Mark Princi

January 17, 2009

Thank you, Jim, for setting an amazing example of courage, generosity and deeply thoughtful humanity. From a member of the Yale Class of 1967

Don Pierce

January 17, 2009

Jim was a classmate at Yale who was a regular and beloved friend and compatriot with our class group at events and on our internet group. We all looked forward to his company humor and intellect which he was so ready to share. We shared in his courageous fight against his cancer, and were honored to have seen him for a meal in December. We all miss him.
This is a link for those who might wish to download some pictures of Jim at the Yale group gatherings:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/38008521@N00/

Peter Bonoff

January 17, 2009

Yale's Class of 1967 will always remember Jim very fondly. We will miss him and offer profound condolences to family and friends of this extraordinarily good man.

Donald Metzger

January 17, 2009

I will miss Jim as a classmate and friend. I send my deepest sympathies to Jim's family.

Carleton Wilkes

January 16, 2009

January 16, 2009

My prayers and thoughts are with you as you grieve.

The Good Lord shall be with you, and Jim, today and forever.

Carleton Wilkes (Austin, Texas; brother of Lisa Dunkley)

Kate Ikard

January 16, 2009

Our thoughts are prayers are with our family...

Lisa Ikard Dunkley

January 16, 2009

As the days pass, hold tightly on to the happy memories of our Jim. God will continue to carry all of you through the aches of missing Jim. We will all miss him terribly. For me, his laugh was always such a warm fuzzy. We Ikard cousins who call Henrietta, Texas our 'home' could really laugh. What a wonderful memory for me to remember Jim with laughter...

Much love to all of you.

Darling Fischer Chapel of the Hills

January 15, 2009

Offering our deepest condolences during this difficult time.

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