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Harold Richard Bakst

Harold Bakst Obituary

1953 - 2013
Harold Richard Bakst, most recently of Lewisburg, Pennsylvania died on February 11 after a courageous struggle with kidney cancer that was diagnosed in October of 2012. He was 59. The family will gather to remember Harry on Saturday and Sunday, February 16 and 17, between 2 – 6 and welcome friends to stop in and join us during that time. A larger celebration of his life is being planned for the spring.

Harry was born in Brooklyn, New York to Evelyn and Norman Bakst, who both survive their son. Harry was married to Carmen Gillespie and was the loving father of Chelsea Gillespie and Delaney Bakst. He is also survived by his sister, Helen Bakst Sendroff. Harry received his bachelor's degree in music from Brooklyn College and a master's degree in English from Hofstra University and master's of fine arts in creative writing from Columbia University.

Harry was a master teacher and was devoted to his students at the various institutions where he served as a professor. He taught courses in composition, literature (including the short story, novel, poetry, American, and world), creative writing, ethics, philosophy, western civilization, and interdisciplinary humanities. In addition to his part-time teaching at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, UNITAR (United Nations Institute for Teaching and Research), Iona College, Borough of Manhattan Community College, Marymount Manhattan College, Kingsborough Community College, Pace University, Westchester, he taught for fifteen years at Minneapolis Community and Technical College. Harry was teaching part-time at Bucknell University when his illness intervened.

He was the author of several novels, including Kian, The Mariner, Prairie Widow, and The Legend of Whiskey Stop. He was working on a fourth novel, Brooklyn Quartet and a book of poetry, Optics at the time of his death. His untimely death is a profound loss to his family. We will miss him forever.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by New York Times from Feb. 12 to Feb. 13, 2013.

Memories and Condolences
for Harold Bakst

Sponsored by his wife and daughers.

87 Entries

Charlie

May 31, 2020

As a young man who wanted to be, and ultimately became, a police officer, I took an ethics class from Professor Bakst sometime in the late 90s. He was adept at holding his cards to his chest when it came to his personal opinions regarding different moral issues, in order to encourage robust discussions and deep inquiries from his students. I suspected throughout the course of the semester, however, that we were on fairly different ends of the political spectrum. He was so warm and good at his job that no one was discouraged from sharing and defending their positions (even when they were as outlandish as some of mine were). I recently unearthed a paper I wrote for his class while doing some cleaning. I saw his name on the paper, and remembered his warmth and keenness of thought, and was thus motivated to look him up. I was saddened to find this. Im not sure if you are still monitoring this, but I thought you might like to see a bit of his handwriting that you likely never saw, an artifact which is still inhabiting the house of one of his many students to this day. It allows me to brag about an A over 20 years later, and the opportunity to share what a wonderful impression he made, one thousands no doubt. God bless.

Gigi Marino

February 6, 2020

Harry, Carmen ... what can I say? Such a tremendous loss to all who loved them, especially Laney and Chelsea. They both put enough love in the world to ensure the girls will be taken care of forever just as much as we who loved Harry and Carmen will remember them forever. It's a heavy ache.

Harold at my parents house talking about her artwork with my Mom in 1984 (sorry for the poor quality)

Sandy Zucker

March 17, 2018

I just heard the sad news. Harold and I were good friends from Junior High in Canarsie, through Graduate School in New York City. We lost touch after my marriage back in '87. Harold was a great guy with unbelievable focus and perseverance, whether it was pursuing a career in music or writing. He had given me one of first copies of The Legend of Whiskey Stop. I am glad to hear that he was able to experience the wonderful loving family relationship with his wife Carmen and sweet daughter Delaney. I want to send my condolences to the family as well as his parents Evelyn, Norman and his sister.

Charles Agvent

November 6, 2017

Only just learned about Harold's death and am shocked. I had been out of touch with him for over a decade but was hoping to reconnect. My condolences. I have many great memories of him from our days in NYC, visiting him in Minneapolis, and his visits to me in PA

Kat Allen

June 10, 2017

Harold was my most memorable teacher. I studied at MCTC for such a brief time, in between other colleges, and after years, I still carry around his packet from his class, The Human Experience. I was just reading through it this morning, and thought to look him up, to see if he was still teaching. Then I came across the sad news of his passing and regret that I didn't try to get in touch earlier. Please send links to any of his published works.

George Poppe

January 10, 2016

One of my two closest friends in College was Harold Bakst.
We spent our days in the Music Department at BC having the time of our lives-lots of laughs. I was very sorry to hear of his passing yesterday. I am glad that he became a published author and teacher. Bravo Harold, old friend.

Thomas Christopher

August 19, 2013

Harold was a great friend, a man with a poet's heart. I remember a trip we took together to rural Ontario almost thirty years ago; Harry sat up all night watching the constellations wheel across the sky...

Susan Behrens

February 24, 2013

I was so sad to hear this news. The photo gallery offers a glimpse of the man everyone loved (and loves) so much. I heard such good stories. My heart goes out to the family.

Marilyn Pridgett

February 24, 2013

Carmen, praying thinking of You always ,Chelsea and Delaney love. Aunt Mimi

Bernhard Kuhn

February 22, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

We did not know Harry as well as we would have liked, but whenever we met, we had conversations about meaningful things. Harry never just talked to talk, he always had something to say. Recently, we met at a children's get to gather at RB Winter state park. He wanted to talk about the film La vita è bella (Life is beautiful) and we had a deep discussion about the meaning of this film, which he saw in the immense love and ultimate sacrifice of a father for his son, which enabled the son to survive extreme circumstances and to continue to live. One can look at this film from many different angles, but Harry's take also says something about him as a person. He loved his family above everything and he would do anything for them. Harry will continue to live in our memory.

Our hearts ache with yours,

Bernhard, Emek, and Luca

February 19, 2013

Dearest Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

One of the most treasured possessions a loved one leaves is a heart full of loving memories. You have deplayed amazing strength these past few months ... our wish for you is that your strength continues to sustain you and your memories will be a precious source of healing and comfort.

With deepest sympathy,
Louis and Monica Neeley
Burke, VA

Harry watching the Universal African Dance & Drum Ensemble

Heather Hennigan

February 17, 2013

Heather Hennigan

February 17, 2013

Carmen,

I still don't quite know how to put into words my sadness, my anger, and my love, and my amazement at your strength and grace throughout these last four hellish months. Seeing you and Harry together gave me a glimpse into true love and pure happiness--some people go their entire lives without finding their soulmate, so to see you and Harry and the strength of your love was incredibly special and something I'll never forget. What touches me the most, though, is picturing Delaney and Harry together. I've never seen two human beings so connected and so devoted to one another. If I had to pick only one thing to post here about Harry, it's that he was an incredible father. The expression on his face whenever he looked at Delaney was that of pure joy--that little girl has had his heart since day one, and I know that Harry will always be watching over his treasured baby girl. Carmen, rather than telling you how sorry I am, I'd much rather thank you for guiding, trusting, nurturing, mentoring, consoling, and loving me these past two years. Thank you for opening up your heart and your home to me and making me feel like a part of your family. I don't know where I would be without you and Harry and the support you both have provided me. I'm so grateful that I had the pleasure of knowing Harry and I am so blessed and honored to say that the brilliant and beautiful Carmen Gillespie is my friend. I'll love you both forever.

February 16, 2013

Dear Carmen,

You have our deepest sympathy and are in our thoughts and prayers.

Jim and Kathy Brewer

Harry and Delaney getting the bad guys (April 2012)

Sheila Lintott

February 16, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

We will always remember Harry as the loving and devoted father he was. His love for his family was obvious to everyone and he clearly thrived in his role as a father. He was always happy to help Delaney celebrate at her friends' birthday parties. The picture attached is of Harry and Delaney shooting super villains with sill string at Jack's birthday party in April 2012.

We are so sorry for your loss. May you find some comfort in the many happy memories you will cherish forever of your lives with Harry.

In deepest sympathy,

Sheila Lintott, Eric Johnson, and Sonja and Jack

Ghislaine McDayter

February 16, 2013

Dear Carmen,

One of my strongest memories of Harry comes from one very hot afternoon when all the parents of young children had fled to the playground for some relief from the humidity. I had arrived with a very fractious Claire who had begged to have me push her on the swing. Harry was arriving with Delaney just as I had slumped onto a bench, refusing to go anywhere in the heat. Harry walked over to the swings, Delaney paddling beside him with an unsteady toddler-trot. Harry lifted Delaney up onto the swing and I caught a glimpse of pure, joyous, adoration in Delaney's eyes as she looked up into her father's face. She kicked her feet madly in an effort to simulate the movements of the other, older children on the swings, and Harry chuckled at her as he looked over, caught sight of me, and waved. The two of them at that moment were so very happy together. It's a single memory "snap shot," but it is the way I will always remember Harry. Carmen, Delaney and Chelsea, I send you all my sympathy and love.

Linda Smolka

February 16, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,

In our shared time together at birthday parties, kids gymnastics and the town pool Harry was always filled with a smile, exhuberance and a curiosity to know how we were doing or what we were up to in our lives. Harry had a special ability to find value in the people and activities that filled his days. As an example, Harry loved helping Delaney on the nature hunt at Maya's 5th birthday party as they searched for pine needles, sticks, rocks, bugs and other things. At the end of the hunt, Harry told us how great it was to take the time to search the forest at R.B. Winter and how valuable an activity it was for Delaney and him to do together. Harry was a special friend who we will forever miss.

Harry was immensely proud of each of you. His eyes twinkled as he told stories of the projects and achievements that filled each of your days.

With our deepest sympathy and love,
Linda, Peter and Maya

Nathalie Dupont

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,

My most heartfelt sympathies for your loss. May the peace that comes from the memories of love shared and the friendship of those around you help you through the days ahead. You are in my thoughts.

Nathalie

Paula and Jim Buck

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen, Dear Chelsea and Delaney,

When you moved to this town I thought how brave you all were--Carmen and Harry buying a first house together and awaiting Delaney's arrival, Chelsea starting out at a school and in a town so different from what she had known in Detroit, Carmen with her what-could-I–have-been-thinking laughter as she launched, exuberantly, a new phase in her career, and Harry ecstatic over the prospect of caring for a baby. I imagine that now those years, with their immense challenges, will seem a kind of golden age for your family, as they do to those of us who caught glimpses of your living them. I remember Harry in the audience at high school plays and concerts and musicals, radiant as he watched the work in which Chelsea was so invested. And late one summer night, he and Carmen pushing a small and almost supernaturally calm Delaney home in her stroller after a backyard dinner, her little voice saying moon and pointing. More recently, we've watched your inspiring bravery and devotion through Harry's grueling illness. Carmen, I keep imagining you in the iconic red shoes in which you married Harry. How you must wish you could click them three times and go back. But the magic of who he was and his evident love for each of you is (needless to say) much more powerful than the shoes ever were. May it stay with and by you, giving you the courage you need to face the adventure of life without him.

Much love,

Paula and Jim

Kris Trego

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

I first came to meet Harry only this past summer when my office moved next to his, which I quickly learned was prime real estate since it afforded me opportunities to chat with him. His smile was contagious, and the days I talked with him were warmer and brighter because of it. You'll be in my thoughts.

Kris Trego

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

I came to know Harry just this past summer when my office moved right next to his, which I quickly learned was prime real estate since it afforded me opportunities to chat with him. His smile was contagious, and the days when I talked with him even briefly were warmer and brighter because of it. You'll be in my thoughts.

David Jacobson

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen,

I am very sorry for your loss. We are thinking about you and have fond memories of Harry.

Dave, Shari, Nick, and Catherine Jacobson

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,
It was always nice to see Harry in the library. His office was on the third floor, and he always had a kind word for those who passed him in the shipping & receiving room when he was getting his mail or when he was going through the library on the way to and from class. I remember a conversation when I was at the Reference Desk. He stopped to commiserate about some political disaster (the midterm elections, perhaps), and I remember feeling better after he left, not because we had solved anything, but because it was such a pleasure talking with him. I will miss his presence here, and I send my love and sympathy to you all.

Martha Holland

Stephen Appiah-Padi

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,
In this trying moment of your lives know that there are friends who are praying for you that you will overcome these times and thrive nonetheless.

Harry has only taken the lead and you will be with him again, some day, eternally. Take heart.

Harry and Carmen July 30, 2012

Renee Gosson

February 15, 2013

Dearest Carmen, Chelsea, and Laney,

In our mind and hearts, Harry is still in Lewisburg, just as he was in our home, on our porch, wishing us a good trip the evening before our departure for France on July 30, 2012.

Because of the strong bond between Laney and Lucie, we knew Harry primarily as a parent and a partner. Most of our conversations were at the thresholds of each other's homes as the girls giggled their reunions and departures and we exchanged words that ranged from discounts on Nutella to black bear sightings at RB Winter. Our conversations were always about the shared joy of parenting four-year olds.

We will remember Harry as the sweet, soft-spoken, honest, and generous man he was. We will honor him by standing by you three and participating in Laney's upbringing, especially in the outdoors that we know Harry also loved. We are grateful that he was a part of our lives and at a time when Laney and Lucie were old enough to remember him and his “babushka hugs.”

All our love and our deepest sympathy,

Renée, Simonne, and Lucie

February 15, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

You are in our thoughts in this difficult time. You lost a dear husband, a loving father, and we lost a dear old friend and colleague. However, the memories of Harry/Harold will never be lost. He was such an easy-going and friendly person that he was a friend to all his colleagues and students that what he has accomplished in his teaching and living here in Minneapolis can never be erased.
Wendi and Bill
St Paul, MN

Suzanne Muggy

February 14, 2013

(sigh) If only I could do for you what you did for me. When I was losing, you were finding (Harry)... It's the circle of life really, isn't it. We love all three of you so much....and we continue to stand next to you and pray for you. With profound condolenses, love and support.....Susie, John, Moe and Angel Ellie who has found a new friend to entertain! Come see us~

Yasmine Darrehmane

February 14, 2013

I know I only spent time with Harry a couple of times while visiting you guys. But you and Chelsea and delaney are really my second family. My mom has known you since you were kids, and my mom would tell me how often you would come and visit us when I was first born. You have been there from the start, and I am deeply saddened for your loss. I'm so glad my mom has been able to be with you through these last couple months, and we will all continue to be with you. I've loved delaney since I first saw her as a baby, and Chelsea is like a older sister to me. I hope in the midst of all this, you are able to find peace within your heart. And that my mom and I can continue to be there for you. I can't wait to see delaney again. I love you.

Amanda Wooden

February 14, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, Delaney,

Our sincerest condolences for your loss and sorrow. Although I did not have the pleasure of getting to know Harry, I distinctly remember his wonderful smile so many have commented on here. It is clear that the memory of Harry's beautiful character will live long in this community and in so many places he touched. We wish you strength and peace in the days ahead. May you dwell in the happiness, smiles, and love you shared.

With our love - Amanda, John and Aidan

Julia Ferrante

February 14, 2013

Carmen,

I only met Harry once, one day when he accompanied you to an event at Bucknell. Your strong partnership and happiness was so apparent. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure it is a comfort to know you could be there with Harry during his final months.

Love,

Julia

February 14, 2013

Harold left a living legacy to the students who visit the Learning Center at Minneapolis Community & Technical College by giving permission to post and allowing students to use his numerous grammar worksheets. May his memory always be a blessing. Ellen Lewin, MCTC

Shallary Duncan

February 14, 2013

Words alone cannot express my heartfelt regret for your loss. Though I did not know Harry personally, what I observe was a man of great strength and courage. May you find comfort in knowing that a part of your beloved Harry is with you—the gift of courage and strength.

Pete Mackey

February 14, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Laney,

Early last September, Carmen and I were walking on campus and amusing each other with stories of being parents and noticed how hard it is for parents not to effuse pride about their own children, when Carmen stopped and said in essence, “I have tried to tell Harry since Laney was born that not everyone is as excited as we are that Laney has spoken or taken her first steps or is learning to swim. He thinks everything she does is magical. What can I do? That's Harry. He adores her. It's impossible not to agree with him.” And she laughed.

I knew Harry most from seeing him at every Bucknell cultural event I've ever attended, as if he were attending every event in between too. He seemed omnivorous in his curiosity, and was always a warm and gentle man to talk with afterward. Beside him, always, was Carmen. But this other small moment sums up the Harry I only knew through the glowing prism of Carmen's eyes – the adoring father.

Kyna, Rory and Danni join me in sending our love and prayers to you all. We hope the love Harry felt for you so deeply will give you comfort that will only grow in time and assure you that his spirit is with you always. It is true: Love endures.

With affection,
Pete

Debra Sarlin

February 14, 2013

I am on the third floor of the Bertrand Library,
down the hall from his office,
mourning his loss today
and sending all my best wishes to you.

February 14, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, Delaney,

I always found Harry to be a warm and kind person. Please know that all of you are in our thoughts and that our hearts go out to you.
Sincerely, Abe F.

Michael James

February 14, 2013

Dear Carmen, Delaney, and Chelsea,
Harry will always have a special place in my heart. I first got to know him during my sabbatical year - 2008-9 - when we had neighboring carrels in the library. We would talk about our work, politics, our families, and especially our recently born daughters, Cecilia and Delaney. I will always remember how protective he felt towards Delaney, how he wanted to keep her out of daycare as long as possible. I think we really bonded as fellow "older" fathers, prone to excessive doting! I also loved talking politics with Harry, either in our carrels or at various kids' birthday parties. I hope the other parents didn't mind our rants too much. I often imagined us together at future events with Ceci and Delaney - birthday parties, school plays, graduations; and I mourn greatly that fact that he won't be there when these events take place. Goodbye Harry - I will miss you. Michael James

anna paparcone

February 14, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,
Every morning, when I arrived in my office, Harry was already there. His office door, just a few steps from mine, was always open, and his “Good morning! How are you today? How are your kids?” were warm and reassuring. I had very pleasant, funny conversations with him. I remember that in one of our last chats, he turned more seriously and said: “You know, no matter how much work you have, once you get home, stay with your daughters, don't think about your work anymore.” I thought then that he must have had a wonderful family to devote himself to. When he proudly told me that he had two daughters I felt his words closer to my heart.
He was very kind, personable, easy to talk with, always busy with students at his door, always engaged in long conversations with them about how to write better. His passion as a professor was evident. But the strongest image I have of him is of when I arrived in my office and he was sitting at his desk, staring silently at something or somebody in front of him that I could not see. I did not dare to say hi for fear of interrupting his meditation. It was amazing to see how a man could quietly stay still for a long time, while all around him moved frantically. I will never know what he was thinking about, but I have the feeling that his mind was functioning towards something good. I have missed his door open, his gentle reassuring smile since October 2012, and I am sure I will never forget him.
You and your family are in our heart, and we hope that memories you have with Harry and the love of your friends will help you to always smile as he did.
With my deepest sympathy.
Anna Paparcone and family (Jason, Leila and Maya)

February 14, 2013

Professor Gillespie,

I truly want to send my condolences to you and your family. May the Lord be with you during this time and your husband's legacy will truly live on.

Best,
Nakea Tyson '11

Harry and Carmen resting by the cool stones of the Quaker Meeting House, Summer 2009

February 14, 2013

Katie Faull

February 14, 2013

My dearest Carmen, You have my deepest condolences.

In these dark times try to remember that Harry's love for you and your girls will always shine through; in a smile, a glance, a hug. That love will never leave you and you will never be alone.

Ned Searles

February 14, 2013

I'll miss you Harry. You always had a smile when you pulled into the Sunflower Childcare Center parking lot. Your sweetness, cheerfulness, generosity and courage will be missed. Love, Ned

February 14, 2013

Dear Carmen, Delaney, and Chelsea, You are one of those families that I truly regret not knowing better. When ever I ran into any of you, it was such a pleasure. Roger LOVES seeing Delaney at Hebrew School; he always comes home and tells me how ridiculously adorable she is. And Chelsea, I have always heard such impressive things about you and they way your parents describe you is always so full of love and pride. We (Roger, Manny, Jake, and I) are here for all of you. We are all so lucky to live in this small community in which the members take care of each other. We are here for you. For support, for laughs, for food, for anything. Just reach out and I will grab your hand. We are sending you love and healing thoughts. The Rothman Family

Kathleen DeVore

February 14, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney, there are so many heavy hearts in Minneapolis thus week sending you all waves of peace and love. When he was with us at MCTC for 15 years he was Harold, and he was always a warm and intelligent spirit. Then when he met and married you Carmen he was visibly lifted up, lightened by the love you and Chelsea wrapped him in. With the arrival of Delaney the transformation was complete: he truly became Harry in front of our eyes- still deeply warm ,but with a lighter heart and more radiant spirit. Thank you for loving our old friend so well, I know he is pure love now and wrapping around all of you right now and always. Very much love,
Kathleen DeVore, MCTC

Jim, Luda, Rachel

February 14, 2013

My wish for Delaney is that she always continues to feel dad's love, how he adored her, cherished her. And, as she grows older, that she realizes how she enriched Harry's life, immeasurably. Luda and I recall the proud look on Harry's face walking in and out of Sunflower. I'm not sure I've had a conversation with Harry in which he didn't mention Delaney. I am so glad that life brought them together, though much more saddened that they've been separated. Luda and I wish Carmen, Delaney, and Chelsea strength, love, and peace. I look forward to seeing Rachel and Delaney play again. Having lost my father too, at Delaney's age, my family feels a special bond to her and to her family, and to Harry.

February 14, 2013

Carmen, I know that there are no words or gestures that I can offer right now that will ease your pain and loss. Know that I had great respect for Harry and his contributions to the lives and learning of our students. KNow also that my heart aches for you and your daughters and that if there is anything that I can do, say the word and I'm there. With much love, Robert Midkiff

John Rickard

February 14, 2013

I enjoyed having the opportunity to watch Harry teach. He was a caring and thoughtful teacher and mentor who was able to kindle a love of literature and learning in his students. We will miss him.

Lisa Perrone

February 13, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,
I had the pleasure of getting to know Harry quite well as we shared office space for the past three years on the third floor of the library at Bucknell. Delaney, most of the time your Dad and I chatted we were talking about you: whether you should go to kindergarten this year or next, what you like to do at Sunflower, and what your hobbies are. I remember telling your Dad one day that I thought you looked a lot like him and he smiled, such a proud father. Harry was an amazing teacher. Every day he met with his first year students at the big wooden table in Bertrand 309 and pushed them to become better thinkers and writers. As he worked through their reaction papers with them I always heard him ask the students what the "kicker" was in their paper and I thought this was such an effective way to teach writing. He loved cinema and always asked me what I thought of Italian films that I'd seen. He was so happy to have found a classroom in Dana with no windows - a perfect place to screen films. He was such a thoughtful and insightful man, and always had time to chat with all of us in the office up in the library. In my mind that office door will always be his and I think of him each time I walk past it. Harry will certainly live on in the hearts and minds of those who knew him and loved him.
With our deepest sympathy,
Lisa, Felipe, Gianluca and Alessandro Perrone

Mahjoub Darrehmane

February 13, 2013

I was saddened to hear of Harry's death. My sympathy is extended to your entire family.

February 13, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,

We hold you in our hearts and send our deepest condolences for your loss. I have these wonderful and random images of Harry-- walking by a class he was teaching in Marts, having a great conversation with him at a party, crossing paths at Sunflower as he dropped off or picked up Delaney, or hanging out at the pool this summer exchanging stories while we watched Delaney and Henry in swim lessons. Harry would cheer Delaney on as she would kick across the pool or jump in from the side into the arms of the teacher. What a proud and loving father.

With love,
Kelly Knox and Matthew and Henry Heintzelman

Dustyn Martincich

February 13, 2013

Though I think my favorite memory spent with Carmen and Harry is sitting in their beautiful garden, I have so many memories of this supportive father and husband. All of our sympathy and peace and love. Love, Dustyn and Joe

Fay Stetner

February 13, 2013

I only met Harold a few times, but I wish it had been more. I was immediately drawn to his friendly, warm personality. My heart goes out to you and your family at this terrible loss.

Marion Brown

February 13, 2013

Carmen, Chelesa, and Delaney, I was saddened to hear of Harry's death. He was such a beautiful man, everything one could wish for in a life's partner.
My sympathy is extended to your entire family.

Steve Zweifel

February 13, 2013

Harold was a mentor, a colleague and a dear friend.

When I started teaching at MCTC, he was the first to greet me and to share the wisdom of his experience, smoothing my path immeasurably.

He was a gifted conversationalist who could listen like few I've ever known. You knew when you spoke with him you had his undivided attention. We'd meet often for dinner and the evening would fly by as we solved the world's problems and laughed at how perfect everything would be if everyone just shared our common sense.

I will always be struck by how utterly himself he was wherever he went and in whatever milieu he found himself. He was a man absolutely incapable of pretension.

The last time we conversed via Skype in September, he called Delaney over to say hi, and as she stood shyly by him, I saw a look of delight in Harold's face that I'll never forget.

He was a rare soul and will be deeply missed.

Tammy Hiller

February 13, 2013

Our hearts ache for you Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney. We pray that your bone-deep knowledge of how deeply Harry loved you and you love him in return will ultimately bring you peace. Love, Tammy, Bud, Sara and Joe

February 13, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney:
Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May reflecting on the time shared with Harry bring solace to your grieving heart.
Vivette, Sénami & Linden

February 13, 2013

I always looked forward to seeing Harry at a department function. He was so easy to talk to, so positive. We first met at a Stadler event at the Brasserie, and we talked about our favorite neighborhoods in New York City, about writing fiction and teaching it. Harry was enthusiastic about it all, but most of what he wanted to talk about was fatherhood –the joys of having a young child, of being a new dad. His was an infectious joy, a gushing really. I left the Brasserie smiling, and appreciated being a father just a bit more.

Our deepest sympathy and love,
Robert, Michelle, Gabriella, and Alexey

Elisabeth Guerrero

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,
I first met Harry several years ago when he used to wait for Carmen on the bench outside my office each day. It was a privilege for me to witness the tenderness with which he held his little girl, just a baby then, and the mutual respect and sweetness of his bond with his beautiful wife Carmen. Carmen turned out to be a hall mate who was not only smart, creative, and accomplished, but who also was generous with the warmest hugs imaginable. We hold you in our arms now in turn and send our love and support as you weather this tremendous loss.
I was honored to chat often with Harry as he waited with Delaney outside my office. He turned out to be a man who, like Carmen, generously shared his kindness, wore humbly his formidable intellect, and adored his little girl. Your family has had a place in my heart ever since.
Harry's insights and kindness touched the lives of countless students and friends. A little of his spirit will live on in each of us. He was a man that spoke with thoughtfulness and kept it real. I remember my last conversation with Harry before he became ill -- a conversation about art, about fatherhood, about compassion and contemplation, and about his loving concern for his extraordinary wife.
I can only imagine how hard Harry's untimely passing has been for the family. Sophia, Sebastian and I are deeply sorry for your loss. We stand beside you and your sweet daughters. Love, Elisabeth

Nina Banks

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

I am so very sorry for the loss of Harry. He was such a devoted husband and father. Perhaps my fondest memory of Harry was the time when the two of you dropped Chelsea off to babysit. You were pregnant with Delaney and you and Harry sat in the car just beaming with happiness, so proud of Chelsea and excited about the new baby on the way.

With love,
Nina

Virginia Zimmerman

February 12, 2013

Dearest Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,

We are so very sorry for your loss. I think of Harry with great fondness. In my mind's eye, I see him with a smile and with a small girl, and I will hold that image of him always. May you be surrounded by good memories. We send strength and love.

Much love,
Virginia, Jordi, Elijah, Aley and Thea

Coralynn Davis

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen,

Although I did not know Harry well, I could readily see how his love shown in you and the children and through you to all you encounter. This important legacy remains now and shall remain. And we are all the better for it.

You and your family have my deepest condolences. Wishing you strength and softness in measure, through your grieving.

Jacob Agner

February 12, 2013

Carmen,

I'm very glad to have met Harry last year, and I offer this memory: During the 2011 Bucknell film festival, I noticed your family near the front row for Fantasia, and it was delightful for me to see you and Harry with your children at the movies. A wonderful family.

Kate Heidel

February 12, 2013

I knew Harold when he lived here in Minneapolis. He was a great conversationalist and a superb listener. You knew you could always just be yourself around him. With all his intellectual gifts, Harold didn't have a pretentious bone in his body.
All his many friends in Minneapolis missed him when he left town, but we knew he was happily embarking on a new life with Carmen and Chelsea, and then little Delaney came along. Now that he's gone, we miss him all over again.
When my boyfriend Steve and I spoke to him last October when he knew he was ill, he mentioned Delaney so fondly. "She's my little girl," he said. He loved his family so much.

Harry, getting my parents some punch

Alex Block

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

One of my favorite memories of your family is how you opened your beautiful home to host a baby shower for me when I was new to Bucknell and you barely knew me. Harry was such a kind host. Here's a picture of him making my visiting parents feel at right at home by plying them with punch. He was so full of generosity, as you all are. Our deepest sympathies, and all our love.

February 12, 2013

My condolences to all of you. Harold was the first person at MCTC I really got to know, when we had our offices next to each other. I recall that when our department did a move to a new suite my only concern was that I'd still have an office next to him. We had many great talks about life and literature. I recall before Delaney was born us talking about the importance of parenthood and his trepidations. I know that once she came into she was the light of his life, along with Carmen and Chelsea.
God bless all of you.
My warmest regards,
Jay Miskowiec

Sheilah & Hilbourne Watson

February 12, 2013

Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney

We cannot think of them as dead who walk with us no more
Along the path of life we tread -- they have but gone before.

Please accept our heartfelt sympathy for your loss..

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney:

We are so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts are with you...

Eric, Phoebe, Otto, Mette

Lynn Breyfogle

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,
I wanted to share with you my heartfelt sympathy for Harry's passing. I didn't know Harry well, but this past semester as I have heard from students, who have been in his Foundation Seminar or an advisee, how much he was loved and appreciated by his students. Repeatedly I heard that he was an awesome teacher and excellent adviser. I hope that the love and support from friends, colleagues, and former students will help to carry you through this difficult time.
Sincerely,

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,
I send my love and deepest sympathy to you and your entire family. From time to time, I'd see Harry in the library with Delaney. You couldn't miss his pride and love for her, and her joy at having such a wonderful father! Harry's students speak so highly of him, and I have no doubt his caring teaching and his deep devotion to learning have touched countless lives.
In friendship and love,
Nancy Frazier

Roberta Diehl

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen,

Although I did not get to know Harry, your kindness and ever present smile and ready laugh are certainly a reflection of the love and happiness you and Harry shared. My thoughts are with you.

Katie Hays

February 12, 2013

My love to you, Carmen, and to Chelsea and Delaney. Among several memories that include Harry, I remember an outdoor summer dinner at Paula and Jim's, baby Delaney dozing contentedly on Harry's lap, and Harry full of laughter and friendship and good talk--as we all were, together. It is devastating to feel his loss. Andy and I send our love and support to you and your family.

Alice Reitenbach

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,

I am so thankful for the time I got to know Harry. I could tell Delaney had a special place in his heart. I would watch as he dropped her off at Sunflower and patiently gave her "just one more hug Daddy" after several attempts at leaving. Harry will be greatly missed, but never forgotten. Hold on to your memories.

Much love and many hugs,

Alice

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,
My thought and prayers, and deepest sympathies, are with you. I know there are no words to take away the grief, but please know that I and many others truly care.
Sincerely,
Chris Fry

Jane Leach and Joe Sularz

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,

We send our deep condolences to you all. Harold, as we knew him for so many years at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, was a dear man who treated all of us--his friends, his students, his colleagues--with kindness, gentleness, respect and dignity. We were so happy to see him in the arms of your loving, beautiful family and we send our wishes for healing and peace.

Atiya Stokes-Brown

February 12, 2013

Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

Please accept our deepest and heartfelt sympathies for your loss and know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers. May the love of those around you and your sweet memories of Harry help you heal in the days ahead,

Atiya Stokes-Brown and Gus Brown

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,
I am thinking of you all, with deepest sympathy and sorrow for your loss. With love, Jean Peterson

February 12, 2013

Dearest Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

Gary and I are so, so sorry for your loss. I know intimately through all of our work together that the heart of all you do was and will be Harry's presence in your life. We will always treasure the lovely dinner that we all had together a year and half ago when we were able to observe first hand your loving family. That is Harry's legacy for you. I do hope that can give you strength in this time.

Much love,

Paula Davis and Gary Steiner

Elaine Hopkins

February 12, 2013

Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney,

The love that Harry inspired in you and in his friends, colleagues, and students is very evident in the great outpouring of emotion that has been shared publicly and privately since October. This shared grief does not bring him back, but it does show that Harry's passage on this earth was significant to many people and that he will remain in the hearts of those whose lives he touched. That is the most important kind of legacy. Thinking of you with love and wishing

Sabrina Kirby

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,
I will always be sorry that I didn't get to know Harry well, because my few conversations with him were memorable for his kind attention, his good will, his dedication to teaching, and his love for his students. He made a deep impression as a warm-hearted soul, and I am very sorry for your loss.

Kate Parker

February 12, 2013

Carmen, Chelsea and Delaney, we are so deeply sorry for your loss. Even though I only met Harry once or twice (over a late-night, wine-fueled "meeting" with Carmen), he was never without his little girl draped over his shoulder. She clearly adored absolutely everything about him, and my memories of Harry are inextricable from my memories of Delaney. I'm so very grateful for even those few minutes I spent in Harry's fun-loving and spirited presence. I hope that you will all find peace in the coming days, though I know Harry will be missed always. With much love from Wisconsin, Kate (on behalf of Justin & Eliot)

February 12, 2013

Carmen, Chelsea, and Delany:

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will continue to find support from your many loving friends. May your love and many wonderful memories of Harry sustain you.
Rosalyn Richards

Deirdre O'Connor

February 12, 2013

My deepest sympathy to you, Carmen, Chelsea, Delaney and extended family, and my abiding support.

I did not know Harry well, though I know his students loved him and, of course, his family. Lately I've often flashed to the memory of Harry, Carmen and Delaney walking a few steps ahead of us in the march for Trayvon Martin last spring. Though we were marking a terrible injustice, it was a beautiful day, and I was moved to see Delaney holding both her parents' hands and then Harry carrying her when she was tired.

Sending you love and strength now and in the days to come,
Deirdre O'Connor and Bill Flack

February 12, 2013

What a wonderful man Harry was. He was the most devoted father I have ever seen--his love for Chelsea and Delaney so clearly on display that it illuminated the depth of joy his children brought him. I loved watching him with Delaney, how he could make her laugh so easily and how he looked upon her with such clear devotion. He was besotted by this tiny creature, who charmed and loved him back in equal measure.
I am so sorry for his loss. But I am so grateful to have known him.
With much love,
Amy Franklin-Willis

February 12, 2013

Carmen:
Know that my prayers and thoughts are with you in your lost. May you be surrounded by good thoughts and good people.
Trudier

Susan Lantz

February 12, 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of this father, husband, writer, educator, friend. My thoughts are with the entire family during this difficult time.

Denise Lewis

February 12, 2013

Carmen,
Please know that you, and the girls, are in my thoughts. Harry was a kind person who will be missed by many. I know I will miss him stopping in for hard candy from my desk. :o) Sending love and hugs to you...
Denise

Gigi Marino

February 12, 2013

Carmen,
Though Harry's time with Laney was short, he was the best father ever to her ... and his life with you and the girls made him complete. It's a swift and horrible loss, but know that all of you are loved and cherished by many.
xo,
Gigi and Robert

Helen Morris-Keitel

February 12, 2013

Dear Carmen, Chelsea, and Delaney,

Last academic year I had the pleasure of having an office right near Harry's. It was always a delight to chat with him about the world and the university. I was also able to see him as an adviser and writing coach, and believe me, there are many young people who benefited from his guidance and his questions.
This past fall, I remember one day in particular when I ran into Harry in the library -- he had a tie on! Not Harry's usual look. I asked what the special occasion was and he said, Delaney asked to wear it, so I did!

My love to all of you. Helen Morris-Keitel

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