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Kay Ellen Capo Obituary
Kay Ellen Merriman Capo, beloved wife, mother, daughter, professor, and dear friend, died on October 31st, 2014. She spent her final weeks among family & close friends at her home of 29 years in Manhattan's Upper West Side, after a courageous 6-year battle with metastatic breast cancer. She was 67 years old.
Kay Ellen was born May 14th, 1947, in Syracuse, NY. She earned a BA from Le Moyne College and moved to Chicago with her husband of 45 years, Jim Capo. She earned an MA and PhD in Performance Studies at Northwestern University in 1978. She was the first in her extended family to earn a graduate degree.
Her teaching career of 42 years included academic positions at Northwestern, Loyola of Chicago, SUNY Oneonta, and Purchase College. She retired from the Conservatory of Theatre Arts faculty at Purchase College in 2013. Her son Jamie was born in 1982, two years after she began teaching at Purchase.
In her academic career she was a dedicated & passionate teacher, completely devoted to her students and love for literature, especially poetry and theater. Over the years, she received a Danforth Foundation Associate award, as well as various grants from the National Endowment of the Humanities, United University Professionals, SUNY, and Purchase College. She served in editorial positions for Text and Performance Quarterly & chaired the Performance Studies Division of the National Communication Association. She developed an extensive portfolio of poetry.
Immediately after 9/11, she devoted extensive attention to the production of audio pieces about its aftermath. Since 2002, she has focused her scholarship and teaching on guiding students in the creation and performance of wartime narratives based on diaries, oral histories, and interviews with veterans. As part of that work, she took three trips with her father (a World War II veteran, now age 98 and still a resident of Syracuse) to the beaches of Normandy, other regions of France, Holland, and Luxembourg, retracing his path through Europe in 1944-45.
Friends and family remember her vitality, creativity, encouraging & welcoming spirit, and ability to help people believe in themselves. She is survived by her husband Jim, son Jamie of Washington, DC, father Paul F. Merriman of Syracuse, brothers Paul J. Merriman of New Bern, NC and James J. Merriman of Seattle, WA, sister Julie Young of Charlotte, NC, two aunts, eleven nieces & nephews, and beloved cousins throughout the United States.
Calling hours will be held Wednesday 11/5 from 2:30-4:30 PM & 7:00-9:00 PM with a memorial service held Thursday 11/6 from 9:30-11:00 AM at Riverside Memorial Chapel, 180 W 76th St, New York, NY 10023. Calling hours will also be held near Syracuse, NY on Friday 11/7 from 4-7 PM at Ryan Funeral Home, 44 E. Main St, Marcellus, NY. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated Saturday 11/8 at 10 AM at St. Patrick's Church in Otisco, NY. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the hospice program of the Visiting Nurse Service of NY (212-609-1525; http://www.vnsny.org/community/supp
ort-nsny/donate/).
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Kay Ellen Capo
Naomi Cahana-Andrews
October 29, 2024
I think about you all the time, dearest Kay, I miss you!
Naomi.
Mary Raddock
October 28, 2024
What a wonderful friend Kay was to me! She was funny, warm, generous and a deep thinker. I admired her very much. She left me with so many happy memories of shared family excursions to Oneonta, Vermont with Jim and Jamie.
It has been a sadness of growing older that she was not here to share it with me. We send special condolences to Jim and Jamie today with love and affection.
Lynn C. Miller
October 28, 2023
I so miss Kay's enthusiasm and humor, her bright mind, and wonderful friendship. Her light shines bright.
Lynn C Miller
October 29, 2019
I think of Kay so very often, recalling all the laughter and family stories we shared, and our professional association and creative work. Kay was a special light in all of our lives and in our hearts. Missing you, Kay. xo
Mary Raddock
October 28, 2019
Ah, Kay. How much I had hoped to spend leisurely days in retirement with her! We lost her 5 years ago and her memory still burns bright. I can hear her laugh and see her hands always working at something she wanted to make beautiful. We miss you Kay. Always.
Susan Nicholson
February 20, 2015
Several days before Kay's death, I had the gift of spending several hours with with her.
Before going, my family asked me to share some of their memories of times together with her.
Zac recalled a playdate with Jamie when they both had chickenpox I was SO glad another mother would allow that! He remembered how Kay loved to sing at Christmas Mass. She's one of the most joyful, always-smiling people I know.
Luke remembers that Kay enjoyed his freshly made Christmas morning waffles and was sure to let him know it.
Kate appreciated that Kay gave her extra layers to make sure she was warm in VT, and always made sure to make her feel included in a houseful of boys.
Tom recalled his first meetings with Kay when dropping the boys off at school, then standing in the rain, shine, sleet or snow, running late to meetings, on and on they'd talk, and that she was always curious and had thoughtful probing insights, but wasn't that the fourth train to go by just now? Never mind, he loved it! And he got to know Kay in the process.
We all loved Kay's incessant curiosity, her optimism, and enthusiasm for life.
And her cheerful smile!
Kay most valued family and traditions. When she didn't have family in New York, she gathered friends together to create new family traditions for us all. Over the last 25 years, we spent many Christmases together with various friends, foods, and venuesbut it was always KAY's Tradition, which became ours, too.
When Kay visited me at the Metropolitan Museum so I would give her a tour. In each gallery we visited, she knew the poetry and literature that would accompany the paintings and sculptures. From Dante's Inferno at Ugolino, to Emerson and Thoreau at the Hudson River school painters, we walked and talked for hours.
These past few difficult years, Kay yearned to get away to nature, a relief from the din of the city. She found Magic at the Farm in Vermont, where she explored the woods and flowers, listened to birdsong and enjoyed a good swim in the creek.
We miss you and your wondrous spirit.
Julie Young
February 19, 2015
St. Patrick's Church
Otisco, NY
November 8, 2014
For Kay
I know that everyone here today agrees that my big sister Kay deserves one heck of a sendoff so thank you everyone for being here today as we celebrate a life so well lived.
Throughout these last 6 years, Kay fought like a warrior to live her life as normal as possible. She focused her energy and her outlook on the positive; on the things in life that mattered the most:
Namely: her faith, love, family, happiness, and creating wonderful memories.
Kay loved the simple things in life. Whether it be the joy of picking fresh strawberries in the Summer, or marveling at the brilliant colors of Fall, or stopping by the farm where Grandma Merriman grew up just down the road from here to buy apples and pay for them in the coffee can out front, because that's just the way you do it in the country.
My sister had a beautiful soul and she rejoiced to share in the accomplishments of not only Jim and Jamie who were the loves of her life, but of ALL of her family members and students.
So many times she graciously opened her home to family and friends as she supported them in realizing their dreams, like they were her dreams to.
I came across a beautiful passage from The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak and I would like to share it with you because it seems to describe my sister perfectly
People observe the colors of a day only at its beginnings and ends, but to me it's quite clear that a day merges through a multitude of shades and intonations, with each passing moment. A single hour can consist of thousands of different colors. Waxy yellows and cloud-spat blues.
That's it! This is how Kay saw the world and lived her life!
While most of us might take pictures of a beautiful sunrise or sunset, Kay would see every color and hue throughout the day leading up to the sunset and those single moments of the day were as important to her as the finale of the sunset itself.
Although she had seen them every Fall for her entire life, I especially remember her marveling at the incredible golden luster of the tamarack trees on a recent drive through Upstate NY when all the other colors of Fall had faded.
This revealed so much to me about Kay because while most of OUR lives revolve around EST or MST or PST, Kay's life revolved around something completely different it was simplywell KAY time.
While most of us could fit 2 events into an hour, Kay could fit 100but then it wasn't an hour any morebut it didn't matter because that's how she rolled and she wasn't stopping until all 100 events or visits were complete!
There were many moments when my sister awed me. Kay was blessed with amazing God given talents and an incredible loving heart. As she read the beautiful poem she wrote for Grandma Merriman's funeral I realized that Kay's great gift was that she could use the English Language as her palate of color to paint words into an art form. Over the years we have all found such comfort and joy in her beautifully written tributes to those who have gone before us.
So when we lose someone so dear to us, I think the best way to honor them is for the rest of us to go on with our lives in a way that would please them. If we all spend a bit more time seeing the colors throughout the day and not just the sunsets I think Kay would smile to know that she has had this impact on our lives. And maybe all of us could add just a bit of KAY time to our busy livesshe would LOVE that!
I came across the note that Kay wrote to me after she married Jim. (I was only 9) this does not mean that you lose me. It means that now there is Jim too. He is also part of our family. One reason that I love Jim is because he is good to all of you and I think you all love him too. At least I hope so. Have no fear Jim, we all love you and Jamie so much and we are so blessed that one night many years ago you went to a play, fell in love and married the star!
The last time I saw her I reminded my sister that Mom brought you to College on a Sunday and me to Kindergarten on a Monday and who could have known that 50 years later our sons would live in the same city only 2 miles apart? I think Mom had a hand in that one for sure! She smiled at me and was so excited to know that Jamie would be visiting her the next day.
It is only fitting that I close with words that Kay wrote recently for her Godfather, Uncle Gerald and ask Kay to do for us what she asked of him:
Save a place for us
where you are now.
Where the fields are green and golden
Where life takes root in the home of saints.
Show us there is no need for braking.
No need to reverse direction.
Now Paradise lies straight ahead
Julie Merriman Young
Maria Swanson
December 10, 2014
You gave us such special, wonderful memories that we will have with us until the day we join you. You always held family ties so dear to your heart. You helped others realize how special and blessed our family is with your beautiful words, delivered in a way that no one will match. Thank you for all that you've given us. We miss you.
Ronald Shields
November 19, 2014
Kay Ellen's smile would light up the world...such a brilliant mind and tender heart. She gave so much to his performance studies cholarship.
Paul (Joe) Merriman
November 12, 2014
What wonderful sentiments by so many folks!
Thanks for giving her family an insight into who she was "outside" our normal line of sight.
Dan & PJ Pritts
November 10, 2014
We are really sorry to hear about Kay's passing. We only met a few times at Paul's WWII Reunions but she made an impact . You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Naomi Cahana-Andrews
November 10, 2014
Dear Jim, Jamie and all of Kay's family and friends:
So many of us loved Kay, and will remember her forever.
25 years ago, Kay, a complete stranger, sat next to me at our kids baseball game and said plainly: I want to be your friend! And, we stayed best friends from that moment on.
I admired her infectious curiosity for everything around us: people (mostly), culture, beauty, food...
From the detailed stories she told me, I know everyone of her family members, friends, colleagues and students.
We shared our deepest thoughts, feelings, desires and fears. We supported each other with love and understanding.
I believe she is still here, listening, and knowing how much we loved her.
Naomi
David I.L. Poole
November 9, 2014
Kay Capo was one of the most dedicated and passionate people I know. Her influence is always felt in my theatre practice and teaching. I will always remember the countless hours we spoke about theatre and the world. She got me to see performance and theatre in many different perspectives. She was always there for her students. She will be truly missed! My condolences to her family. This is a very sad day.
Evan Luis Solana-Cardona
November 8, 2014
Kay was gracious, astute, and wildly disorganized, but that's okay, because she was also the first professor that made me really think about how to tell my own stories, and why. Thank you for teaching me, valuing my art, and helping to shape my future.
Eric Nicholson
November 8, 2014
Dear Jim, Jamie, and All of Kay's Friends and Family,
My most heartfelt condolences, and fondest thoughts of the extraordinary woman we all love and will remember always, the one and only brilliant, passionate, and generous generous generous Kay. I'm with you there in spirit at the funeral, and I'll be sending a much longer message by tomorrow. Kay was unique and superlative in every respect, as a teacher, colleague, friend, and inspiration.
Sharing your grief, deeply, but also joining you in celebrating Kay's life and enduring legacy, joyously,
Eric Nicholson
Corey Morgano
November 7, 2014
Kay Capo was a marvelous teacher who went far out of her way to help me. I was a Purchase student of "non-traditional age", and she gave me a lot of confidence. A wonderful woman whom I will miss.
Beth Merriman
November 7, 2014
Kay was all about family. She took amazing care of her Dad, She made sure he got the best "doctoring" and was always treated with compassion and respect. She was "over the moon" in love with her sweet baby boy Jamie and as an adult she would light up every time he walked into the room. She fiercely loved her siblings, nephew and nieces, cousins, Aunts and Uncles. For Kay her circle of life was her immediate and extended family. She knew that her family was the backbone and embraced all that her family was, is and will always will be. We will all miss you Kay. You will always be in our thoughts and prayers
November 7, 2014
My family and I will never forget the years we spent as next door neighbors on Hopper Rd. Especially the picnics and swimming at Skaneateles and one time in particular when we tried to unclog the kitchen sink and ended up on the roof w/ a plbg snake. She was a beautiful person and will be missed.
The Mitchell family-Nancy Lynn David and Alex
Mary Jane Luzzo Schaefer
November 6, 2014
Kay had the genius of deeply wishing others well.
Kay was not only a teacher and a writer,
but an inspired actress. And how she loved the stage. Her best work, however, was herself. She should NOT be gone, as she was just now coming into her own. This should have been her time. I would say I feel cheated, only I can see her smile and hear her low, amused purr.
David Bassuk
November 6, 2014
A light has gone out in the hall. It is darker exactly where you need a light to navigate the passage way… Kay has illuminated the worlds of literature, politics, and personal relationships for me and for generations of students.
Her smile, that twist of surmise – that caught any hypocrisy, any double standard.
Her laugh – that enjoyed a well said and well thought observation. She was enthusiastic. Enthusiastic. Excited. Eager. Passionate. Fervent. Wholehearted. Animated. Keen. She was Kay.
Loved life, loved people and their stories. Loved stories. Loved teaching, loved reaching the other – all races, all genders, all orientations.
She listened; she was present – “enthusiastically”. We love her because her generosity was so abundant. And we love her more because she enrolled us – no, enlisted us in the cause of living with empathy, living with compassion – and living in the beauty of the best expressions of our minds and hearts in language.
Language was how she charted the rhymes and rhythms of our mind - she pursued us in our words – in our verses and in our sentences – and found what we were really trying to say or articulate, but really - she found us! She invariably discovered us in our mangled verses and prose – she made us feel that we inspired her! And we moved on with self-knowledge, self-love, and a model of kindness that we would hope to emulate for the rest of our lives.
Kay was not only a teacher she was a priestess. She redeemed us with her mind and lifted us with her enthusiasm. And illuminated our path though the dark passages of our memories, our lives and our view of the future. Her light was warm and enthusiastically bright. Having known her - made us better, her words, her laugh must now be heard silently in the dark passageway which always remain warm for us as we remember her…
All of her Students
November 6, 2014
We love and miss you.
Clista Townsend
November 6, 2014
My friend Kay, gone. Hard, too hard to put those words together. Her fight, heroic fight over. But she remains in my heart, in my mind. Her love endures. Kay's love was infectious, a deeply compassionate person with a genuine sense of love for all aspects of life, always with kindness, exhibiting integrity, a passion for language, a fervent belief in feminism, a restless curiosity and all with warmth and generosity. She saw connections that many miss. She didn't put her life into separate boxes; she lived it passionately and thoughtfully, as a mom, a wife, and a mentor, as a friend. Though I struggle to express the loss of Kay in my life, I find comfort in knowing she leaves an enduring legacy through her family, friends and students.
Rebecca Bruckenstein
November 5, 2014
I was one of Kay's students at SUNY Purchase. I'm sending my deepest sympathies and prayers to all her family and friends especially her husband,son and father whom she loved so much. Kay was a wonderfully warm and compassionate person when I heard about her passing I was in shock I yearned for one last conversation the ability to say thank you. She not only saved my senior project and provided me with solid wings to fly on she provided me with so much more so much passion. She knew what I had in me often before I did. I will always remember her office at purchase briming with books and knowledge and her welcoming nature. I want to thank her family again for sharing her with us cause I know she put in many late nights over the year to teach us. I hope I do her proud in my years to come.
Ofra, David, Omri and Adam Bloch
November 5, 2014
Our deepest sympathy to the Capo and Merriman families,
It does not seem right to write about Kay in the past tense. It is not often that one encounters a human being with such vitality and ever present energy.
Kay was a poet at heart who wore her heart on her sleeve. She was full of ideas and the passion to pursue them. We especially appreciated her capacity for joy and the wink in her eyes.
Kay was truly an amazing friend. We miss her already.
Audrey Bartow
November 5, 2014
Thank you for all of your love, Kay.
Emily Duff
November 5, 2014
A generous, beautiful human. She will be missed.
Peter Sprague
November 5, 2014
Kay was a wonderful colleague and friend. When I was hired at Purchase in the Drama Studies department she made my arrival a seamless thing of welcome and collegiality. Though not technically faculty, she dealt with me as generously as anyone ever has and made me feel that my contributions were not only of value, but were crucial. I cherish her and miss her.
Pat Spencer
November 5, 2014
My deepest sympathy to Kay's family. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to know her.
Gary Balfantz
November 5, 2014
I salute my friend Kay. Her generosity as a college in Performance Studies is well known. Her visits to my campuses in Hawaii, Pennsylvania and Michigan were always extraordinary times. We will miss you Kay. My love and sympathies to your husband, son and especially your father. We won't forget the jellyfish stings! Aloha and mahalo dear Kay Ellen Capo.
Tyler Moss
November 5, 2014
Sincerest condolences to the Capo family. Love to all.
Dara
November 5, 2014
Professor Capo was an incredible individual. Extremely kind and a master of her craft. I will never forget how kind she was. Her classes were great and I still use some of the tools she provided us with when I'm working on my shows. I'm sad to hear of her passing. My prayers go to the Capo family and the Purchase community. She will be greatly missed. I participate in the Avon Walk for breast cancer in memory of my sister and will now carry Kay's memory and legacy with me. She will never be forgotten and will always be loved.
Marnie McCasland Reidy
November 5, 2014
Jim and Jamie, for years, aside from my mother, Kay was the most important adult in my life. I will never forget the lessons she taught me on how to live life with her always optimistic attitude. I loved her very much and so did many others. What a wonderful person to have visited us here in this life.
November 5, 2014
My love and thoughts are with Kay's family and friends. She was a big reason I look back on my time at Purchase College so fondly. She gave so much to her students and I for one am sincerely grateful.
dawn
November 4, 2014
On behalf of so many students...
Dawn Saliba
November 4, 2014
Kay was one of my beloved mentors from SUNY Purchase.Words cannot express how sorry I am about this. She was such a beautiful person: so caring about her students, wonderfully talented in the classroom. She had the gift of making us feel special and magical. She, personally, intervened in my life in ways that will be forever transformative. She was deeply loved and will be deeply missed.
Kevin Doyle
November 4, 2014
My condolences to Prof. Capo's family and to her former colleagues and students at SUNY Purchase. The Drama Studies program at the State University of New York at Purchase was unique in its interdisciplinary approach; and Prof. Capo was a core faculty member who made the program go. A guy couldn't have picked a better place to go back to school or a better program. Kay was a very kind and devoted teacher who gave a great deal to her students -- always. I cannot count how many hours I spoke with her about theatre and performance, both inside and outside the classroom. Wish I could be there at Riverside Chapel tomorrow. A great loss. The investment she made in her students is beyond words. My sincere condolences to her family.
Maureen (Maude) Boylan
November 4, 2014
REVISED Kay was one of my college professors at Oneonta. She was brilliant and funny and kind. In many ways, she was ahead of her time. She loved teaching; she was a natural. She inspired her students to reach beyond our grasps. We shared a love of language. She loved story telling and encouraged me to tell mine. She honored the text and mined it for gems. She helped me discover my voice and it was life altering. What better gift can a teacher give a student? She inspired so many of us and we loved her. She had supernatural energy and a mind blowing vocabulary. Every conversation was filled with insight and laughter. Kay would be embarrassed to hear it, but she was the yardstick by which I measure myself. My deepest sympathy to Jim and Jamie who so lovingly cared for Kay as she waged battle against her illness and who so lovingly tended to her every step of the way. I am honored to know you both. I am honored to know Kay's dear father as well and send him all my love.
Sent from my iPhone
Dinah Tutein
November 4, 2014
Kay was a professor of mine during my time at Purchase College, I was a drama studies major. She definitely had a passion for performance and literature, I could see it when she taught, how she would break into certain poses and talk about pieces she had read or wanted us to read. I remember one time there was a play I wanted to dramatize and there was a movie version of it. She told me not to watch the movie, to just let my mind give the picture without it being influenced by a movie version.
That is how to invoke creativity and have a great time putting something up on stage. I always remembered that and always will, because of Kay. She will be missed. Sympathies and prayers to you, Jim, Jamie, and the rest of the family.
Carl P
November 4, 2014
All too many 'friends' are really acquaintances.
Calling Kay a friend for @50 years was and is a blessing.
Thanks for the photo---I can't think of her without a smile!
Phylllis Ryan
November 4, 2014
Jim and Jamie - i'm so sorry a ou Kay's passing - we had many good times in High School and after - please know thaat my thoughts and prayers are with youu and your fammily at this time. Phyllis Ryan Georger Class of 1964
November 4, 2014
Jim and Jamie: We first met Kay in the fall of 1960 when she moved from Our Lady of Lourdes to Rosary for high school. Kay was an integral part of our "Class of 64". We all enjoyed her presence in our already formed friendships from 9 years at MHR. I think she made just about every reunion we had over the years and it was always good to see her again and catch up. We will surely miss her at our upcoming reunion and in the years to come. Please know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Judy Spaulding, MHR Class of 1964
Le Moyne College
November 4, 2014
Please accept the most heartfelt sympathies of Le Moyne College. We hope the love and memories that you will forever hold in your heart bring you peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Le Moyne College, Office of Alumni and Parent Programs
Syracuse, NY
Mandi Susman
November 4, 2014
Help end this terrible disease that claims so many lives...
Mandi Susman
November 4, 2014
Kay Capo was definitely one of the best professors of my college career. She had a quite calm that exuded confidence but in a warm caring way that made you want to learn what ever it was she was teaching. The world was truly a better place to have had her in it.
Maureen (Maude) Boylan
November 4, 2014
Kay was one of my college professors at Oneonta. She was brilliant and funny and kind. In many ways, she was ahead of her time. She loved teaching; she was a natural. She inspired her students to reach beyond our grasps. We shared a love of language. She loved story telling and encouraged me to tell mine. She honored the text and mined it for gems. She helped me discover my voice and it was life altering. What better gift can a teacher give a student? She inspired so many of us and we loved her. She had supernatural energy and a mind blowing vocabulary. Every conversation was filled with insight and laughter. Kay would be embarrassed to hear it, but she was the ruler by which I measure myself. My deepest sympathy to Jim and Jamie who so lovingly cared for Kay as she waged battle against her illness and who so lovingly tended to her every step of the way. I am honored to know you both. I am honored to know Kay's dear father as well and send him all my love.
Sent from my iPhone
Carolyn
November 3, 2014
Kay was an amazing teacher. I first had her for Poetry and Performance, and throughout the rest of my college career, I looked to her for wisdom, insight, and inspiration. She was absolutely brilliant, and she was kind. I will miss her so much.
Sallie Dunham-Davis
November 3, 2014
Jim and Jamie,
I am so sorry to hear of Kay's passing. I'm so glad I knew her. Her intelligence, compassion, humor, and love of life were contagious. I will always remember celebrating Easter in NYC when the kids were little with an Easter Egg hunt in the garden of St. John Divine. Kay's love of family, friends, flowers and food always came together for wonderful celebrations. Jim and Jamie you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Sallie D-D
Michelle Wood
November 3, 2014
I was a student of Kay's. She had a great impact on me. I was close to her and will never forget her. I am so sorry for your loss. All of her wisdom will carry through the world for years to come. I hope you can take some comfort in that.
Loretta Korzeniewski
November 3, 2014
I'm so sorry to hear about Kay's passing . I met her in 9th grade at MHR and we enjoyed the next 4 yrs together along with a number of friends. Kay was a good person and a good friend . Rest in peace Kay. Loretta Barry Korzeniewski. Class of 1964
David Taylor Nielsen
November 3, 2014
Kay was my professor at Purchase in the 80s. She was at once challenging, supportive, and caring. I treasure having known her and send my condolences to her family. She touched so many lives and we are all better for having her in our lives. Rest in well-deserved peace. - Love, David
Lynn Miller
November 3, 2014
Kay's generous spirit, loving self, and humor will always live on my heart and in the hearts of all who knew her well. She was such a fine person and teacher and believed passionately in the potential of others.
November 3, 2014
Kay and I had a 36 year conversation. We spoke in detail about the dilemmas of women our age trying to have a serious career and be the kind of mothers we expected ourselves to be. Kay expected a lot of herself.
I think the proof of her success is in the lovely man her son became and the devoted students and colleagues who appeared at her retirement party. She did better than anyone could have imagined to combine these two conflicting roles.
Kay was generous and nurturing to her core. The many Christmas Eves we spent with the Capos will never be forgotten. My children view her as an aunt more than a friend of their mother. Kay was also a wonderful wife. She and Jim traveled to their upstate and Vermont residences and enjoyed their lives together. Did I mention that the woman could cook?? She loved good food and was Mother Earth herself in the kitchen.
I can not tell you how much I will miss our long talks and the sense that she understood me so very well.
My grief is total as I know yours is.
With love and appreciation for the years of warm friendship we shared,
Mary Raddock
Diana & Ben Friedell
November 3, 2014
Jamie & Jim- so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom, and wife, Kay. She was my favorite teacher at SUNY Oneonta, and was always warm & understanding. Ben and i have happy memories of our times together. We are thinking of you and sending healing thoughts & prayers.
Pat (Lane) Godfrey
November 3, 2014
Dear Jim, Jamie and all the Merriman extended family,
Long ago, when you all lived on Hopper Road, I lived on Merritt Ave in Syracuse. When Our Lady of Lourdes opened a new school, Kay & I were there in 4th grade.That would have been the fall of 1955. After graduating we went on to MHR and I almost joined her @LeMoyne except for a last second "Hail Mary" that wooed me to Rosary Hill College (now Daemen) We shared so much of our childhood and even though we went our very separate ways, it was always so great to see each other.
Ten years ago for our 40th reunion, we both arrived solo. We spent hours catching up. We had many laughs. Her mom was one of a kind, always rushing here and there. One night she was rushing to bring Kay and I to cheer at a game. I hopped in the car too quickly, as she rounded a curve the door flew open and I was sliding out with Kay grabbing on to me and screaming!! We were way before seatbelts!! And we laughed about it all the way to our destination! Full speed ahead, that's what Kay inherited and developped into an art form. She leaves indelible memories of a life well-lived, right to the end. Too soon! I wanted to remind her of a few more antics! Rest in peace!
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You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
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Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples
These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
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How Do I Write a Eulogy?
Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
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