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Western Carolina University

Carmen Reaves Obituary

Carmen (Vlasis) Reaves 1953 - 2008 Carmen Vlasis Reaves passed away on January 15, 2008, in Berkeley, CA, after a long and courageous battle with cancer. In spite of the illness, she maintained a spirited effort to lead a positive and happy life right up until her passing. Carmen was born in Richmond, VA, to John and Yolanda Vlasis. She grew up in Charlottesville, VA, where she graduated from Lane High School in 1971. She attended Western Carolina University, and Berklee College of Music, and lived in California since 1978. She is survived by her husband of 35 years and high school sweetheart, Allen; their daughter Maya; parents, John and Yolanda, and brothers, Johnny, Mike and William. Carmen is predeceased by her beloved brother Chris, with whom she is now peacefully and lovingly reunited. In recent years she especially enjoyed her nieces Lucy and Carmen and nephews Christopher and Joseph. Carmen had personal ease and grace that warmed everyone who met her within minutes. She had a sunny laugh and a ready sense of humor, enjoying jokes and puns, good or bad, all the while carrying herself with the calm dignity and beauty she was blessed with. She was a devoted mother, and the children of friends grew to love her almost as a second mom, calling her "Mimi," the name her own daughter Maya has called her from childhood. Carmen's generosity included many hours volunteering for school fundraisers and serving as PTA president, and she supported causes such as Clean Water Action, the Sierra Club, Caring Bridge, and The Body Positive. In her fight against cancer she participated in an advanced clinical trial at Stanford Cancer Center to help further the study of the disease. But her most generous quality was her willingness to listen to a troubled friend or family member for hours, sharing her own soul to help ease their personal pain. We will miss her forever.... A Mass will be celebrated at 12:15pm on Monday, January 28th, at the Church of the Incarnation in Charlottesville, VA. Burial will be private to the family. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be considered to the American Cancer Society, and The Body Positive, in SF.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by San Francisco Chronicle from Jan. 23 to Jan. 24, 2008.

Memories and Condolences
for Carmen Reaves

25 Entries

Kristi Warren

January 17, 2022

Kristi Warren

January 17, 2022

Kristi Warren

January 17, 2022

Kristi Warren

January 17, 2022

I think about Carmen often and feel so fortunate to have shared my life with her. A little over a year ago I painted 3 paintings as a way to honor her but also to feel a little more closer for myself. One of them was called "Carmen´s Jungle Trance" and has the music to a song Mark Little wrote for her embedded with a plant that grows in South America, where Carmen spent some time. Another painting is called "Flowers for Carmen" and just expresses a zen like sense I always got from Carmen. And finally there´s "Carmen´s Quetzals", quetzals being the National bird of Guatemala. I found a sense of peace from completing these paintings and they helped me reconcile the untimely loss of such a beautiful light in our world. I know that Carmen is never far from the hearts and minds of those of us who loved her so much and I hope her spirit is soaring somewhere. I´ll always love you my friend.

Betsy Carpentier

December 12, 2021

I'm thinking about a rehearsal at Holy Comforter when Carmen played O Holy Night on piano. I was so awed at her talent, and it's a favorite to this day.

Betsy Carpentier

December 20, 2020

I'm remembering Carmen playing Oh Holy Night at Holy Comforter. My favorite Carol and memory of her.

James "BB" Austin

January 31, 2008

God Bless and sympathy to the family of Carmen.

Jan Laser

January 30, 2008

My memories of Carmen are rich and satisfying like a splendid meal. In fact, the food analogy is most appropriate for this gourmand and gracious hostess.

I came to know our dear girl through my sisters—she was already a part of their California lives when the East Coast sister came to visit. I can remember to this day the first time we met—she so lived up to the legend that preceded her—beautiful, charming, engaging—larger than life. I found her irresistible.

I then moved to the Bay Area and in the three years I lived there, I had the good fortune of spending time with Carmen now and again, each time a memorable experience. She was ever the epitome of charm and grace and wit—clearly gifted—not just artistically but on an emotional level as well. She simply connected with everyone.

Then, I moved back East and out of touch.

Years later, my sisters told me about her cancer battle and my last communication with her was in the form of a letter wherein I presented the metaphor of each of us traveling in separate canoes on the river of life, sometimes drifting apart to pursue different channels but ever moving forward in the same direction and one day perhaps reconnecting downstream.

I had truly hoped to reconnect.

That never happened. Instead, I received this delightful response to my letter. Carmen said that if indeed we were on a river then the hell with the canoe. She wanted to be on a YACHT with cute Cabana boys serving frozen drinks poolside.

That is the Carmen I will always remember.

Farewell, my girl. See you next time.

The Davis Family

January 30, 2008

To Allen, Maya & the Reaves Family -

Words, however kind, can't mend your heartache;
but those who care and share your loss wish you comfort and peace of mind.
May you find strength in the love of family and in the warm embrace
of friends.

Carmen will be with us always...

Glenn, Donna, Gina & Monica

Diana Bolling

January 30, 2008

My prayers to Allen, Maya and all her family. Working with Carmen was always a pleasure and joy, such a spirit full of life. She will be remembered by many,
Diana, Johanna,Tommy and Max (Maya's classmate at Madera)

January 29, 2008

Everyone knew a different Carmen

My Carmen was the most stylish woman I ever met.
This came to her naturally, without effort and she unknowingly set the standards for graciousness.

At our family reunions here in the South, Carmen and I would slip away to drink White Russians. We would have coast to coast conversations before hand to decide where to hide the Kaluah and if we still wanted Half & Half or low fat milk, Half & Half all the way – that’s my girl!

I will never know if Carmen really liked the White Russians or not…but she knew it made me happy. And that was My Carmen – Every time I saw her – in so many ways, she made me happy.

Much Love to Allen and Maya and all of the dear Vlasis Family.

Anne Horner Reaves
Greensboro, N Carolina

Michael and Elizabeth Spivey

January 28, 2008

We were so sorry to hear about Carmen. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,

Michael and Liz Spivey

Le Jones (McGinn)

January 27, 2008

My heart truly aches for you and your family. I have fond memories of our meeting many years ago. My prayers will be for you. May God wrap his loving arms around you and bring you peace.

Karen Laser

January 26, 2008

Carmen Reaves was an artist in the best sense of the word, and she brought an artistic sensibility to everything she did. She was admired as an accomplished musician, a talented artisan, and, oh my, what a cook! Anything that brought love, joy, or beauty to the world, Carmen was drawn to and mastered.

Many people remember her as a devoted family member, a thoughtful neighbor, a gracious hostess, a generous friend--and Carmen was certainly all those things. But in her heyday she was also a dazzling bonne vivante.

An irresistable bundle of beauty, wit, and charm, Carmen could have held her own in Gertrude Stein's salon. In the course of our adventures together, I watched her beguile Ray Charles within the space of a 15-second conversation. Earn the begrudging respect of 5-star restaurant staff with her knowledge of haute cuisine. Cajole entry into an exclusive nightclub from a seemingly impervious doorman. She had an unmistakable presence and an easy elegance that never failed to attract admiration. But what lingers as most endearing is her loving spirit, the delight she took in everyone she met, and her boundless good nature.

Carmen simply brought out the best in life.

María Isabel Villagrán de Villagrán

January 25, 2008

Be Still

Be still like the grass on a melancholy summer day
Be still like desert shrub.

Be calm and you will hear your loved one speak, in the stillness, in the calm, their love resounds.

If you are still this promise I make, you will hear the voice of your loved one helping you along your way.

Nancy Crusse

January 25, 2008

I am so deeply sad for your loss of Carmen. I will always remember playing the piano with her. I can still se her beautiful smile. My prayers are with you all.

Bob Riggs

January 25, 2008

My sincerest sympathy to John and his family. I worked with John for several years. I consider him to be a true friend and a gentleman.

Ann Austin Glaze

January 24, 2008

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

Chuck McGinn

January 24, 2008

I hope to always remember not only Carmen's laugh - which always made me laugh so warmly - but also her piano skills, which produced music nearly as melodious as her laugh.
As an "extra son" at the Vlasis house during our formative years, I - like Brad Lushbaugh - marveled at the ease with which Carmen survived (and self-assuredly rose above!) the mischievous behavior of so many boys.
I'm sure that many who knew her felt as I do; that Carmen - at the keyboard or anywhere else - was a harmonizing presence in our lives. She found a way to conjure the composed grace of her mother and the spirited energy of her father into a uniquely talented individual.
Many of my thoughts this past week, and all of my love and support, are with Allen, Maya, Yolanda, John, Johnny, Mike & William. I wish them peace.

Sue Mertens

January 23, 2008

My condolences to Allen, Maya, John, Yolanda, and family. Carmen was a magical person, so full of warmth and caring. She was selfless in her devotion to helping others and will be remembered forever by our family as a wonderful and loving friend.

Carol Warren

January 23, 2008

My heart breaks for Allen, Maya and all of Carmen's family and friends. My deepest sympathy, thoughts and prayers are with you all. Rest in peace Carmen, you will be remembered with love always.

Rob Devening

January 23, 2008

John, you may not remember me but I remember some enjoyable conversation we had many years ago. I am so sorry for yours and your family's loss. Though I didn't know Carman personally, it's always heartbreaking to hear about the loss of someone from the high school community. We're all family.
Mark, my prayers are with you and your family.
Sincerely, Rob Devening L.H.S.'72

Kristi Warren

January 23, 2008

Carmen was my best friend and I feel fortunate to have known her.Our friendship spanned some twenty years. My love and sympathy goes out to all her many, many friends, and of course her family. I will always have a warm and beautiful place in my heart where Carmen touched my life. I'll miss you very much Carmie.
Love, Kristi Warren

Catherine Busch Hughes

January 23, 2008

My deepest sympathy goes out to Carmen and her family. I was so shocked to see her notice in the paper. I graduated with Carmen in 1971 at Lane High School..Again,my heartfelt sympathy goes out to the family. Sincerely, Cathy Busch Hughes and Herbert Hughes family.

Brad Lushbaugh

January 23, 2008

I offer deep and sincere condolences to Carmen's family. Having been a childhood visitor to the Vlasis home on many occasions and a schoolmate of Johnny's, I had the pleasure of knowing Carmen when we were young. I remember her smile, laughter and ability to handle being the only girl with four brothers. Just as she was a positive influence in many lives, it is my hope her memory will provide peaceful and reassuring thoughts to all who loved her.

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