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Sandra McDaniel
December 8, 2010
You have been gone for one year, as of December 6th. It doesn't seem like a year, it still seems like yesterday. I had a melt down at Thanksgiving and the doctor put me on an anti-depression medication. I can at least talk about you now without totally falling apart. I can't get anything done inside the house, I am constantly picking up something that belonged to you and I have no idea what to do with it. So I put it in a box and set it aside for later. I have all winter to deal with this. I love and miss you honey. No matter what, you will always be part of my life.
Sandra McDaniel
October 10, 2010
I cried all day today. Today would have been our 35th anniversary. Instead of being at the party we had planned to renew our vows, I spent the better part of the day at the cemetary crying and asking why you had to die. Your absence cut like a knife today, more than before. I am trying to move on, but I can't. I miss you so much. I will never find another like you. You were my husband, my lover, and my soul mate. I had the best for 34 years. I will always love you, and yes I still have on my ring, I doubt I will take it off. It still symbolizes the love we shared. Good night my love. Sandy
Sandra McDaniel
September 5, 2010
Hi Honey, I went to the cemetary and reseeded your grave today. I watered the seed but unless it rains tonight I'll go back tomorrow and water it again. I brought your flowers home so I can redo them too, but I'll wait until the grass shows signs of coming up before I put them back. While I was moving the straw off your grave I looked up and saw a beautiful black and and blue butterfly land on your grave. I couldn't help but cry. I was trying to stay emotionally unattached but that just did something to me. Reality keeps knocking at the door in the strangest ways. I love you and miss you so much. I seem to take two steps forward and then five steps back. Sandy
Sandra McDaniel
August 14, 2010
After 8 months, I'm still crying for you. The tears come from no where. and sometimes I don't even realize I'm crying. No matter how much I want or wish for you to return to me, I know it isn't going to happen. I have to accept this...I have to. I won't have you here for your birthday, our anniversary, Thanksgiving or Christmas. You are physically gone, a memory, but you will always be in my thoughts and in my heart. I will always miss you, love you and remember you. Goodbye my love, until it is time for me to take my place beside you. Your loving wife for eternity. Sandy
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Sandra McDaniel
June 7, 2010
Sweetheart, you left me six months ago yesterday. It still seems like a dream. I went to the cemetary yesterday and replaced a wreath I had redone. While I was there I cut back the irises I had planted. I hope I didn't do it too soon but I wanted the plants to concentrate on the roots instead of the leaves to make them stronger. I keep thinking back over the time you were in the hospital. I know you didn't want to die but I can't help but think that you knew you were dying. The cancer was already aggressive and the Cemo didn't do anything but kick it into high gear. You didn't stand a chance. That was why the end came so soon. I guess that is why I am having so much trouble letting go. I miss you my love, and I will always love you. Sandy
Sandra McDaniel
May 24, 2010
Honey, this is the fourth time I have tried to make another entry into your book. I planted irises beside your headstone like the ones you used to bring to me from the field. I would love more than anything for you to be here. I know I need to let you go but I can't. Every time a vehicle comes up the hill, I think it is you coming home. A bear visited the other night and all I could think was that you would have loved it because you always wanted to get a bear. I miss you so much. I miss hearing about your day and your corny jokes. I miss being able to hold you and tell you I love you. Sandy
Sandra McDaniel
April 7, 2010
Hi Honey, well I made it through Easter with the help of family and friends. I didn't break down until after I stopped at the cemetary and then went home to an empty house. I'm getting things done, little by little. Dealing with things alone is very exhausting. It's suppose to rain tomorrow but I'll try to get to the cemetary again. Ilove and miss you very much.
Sandra McDaniel
March 27, 2010
Honey, another holiday is around the corner. I caught myself selecting items to cook and then the reality hit me again that you aren't here. Everyone keeps saying things will get better with time. Maybe it will, but they don't understand that you were my world, I have good days and then the bad days just knock the props out from under me. I'll visit you tomorrow. I miss you and love you very much.
Sandra McDaniel
March 14, 2010
They finally got the headstone put in, it looks beautiful. Your Mom and I went to the cemetary today and cleaned up your grave, We put down straw, not just on your grave, we covered the whole plot. I miss you more as each day passes. My love for you will never die.
Sandra McDaniel
February 27, 2010
I finally made it to the cemetary yesterday. I didn't stay long because of the snow still on the ground and I wasn't dressed enough for the wind. At least I got to talk to you for awhile. Things are rough with you gone but I'm hanging in there. I'll be glad when the weather changes and I can clean off your grave and plant some grass. I miss you and love you very much. Good night Honey.
Sandra McDaniel
February 14, 2010
Happy Valentines Day, Sweetheart. I wanted to visit your grave today but this snow just won't go away. It is hard for me to get away from the house and coming back in is a nightmare. We are suppose to have more snow tomorrow. There isn't anywhere left to push the snow. I miss you so much. I'll always love you. Good night Honey.
Sandra McDaniel
January 25, 2010
I saw your stone today and it is beautiful. I didn't realize until today, the buck has 8 points. I think you will be happy with it, I love you. Good night Honey.
Sandra McDaniel
January 18, 2010
As the days go by I miss you more. I still call your name to tell you something and then realize you are not going to answer. This is probably not what this page is intended for but I need to talk to you some way. I need to work through this and this is the only way I can think of. I'm getting things done, little by little. I need help but I have no idea who to call. I have never felt so alone in my life. I wish I had a magic wand that would bring you back to me. I love you and I miss you so much. Good night sweetheart. I love you. Sandy
December 24, 2009
My Darling Husband,
This will be the 1st Christmas and New Years without you in 34 years. I miss you so much. You still had so many things you wanted to accomplish. I'll try to finish what you started, but no promises. I will always love you. Sandy
John Ford
December 21, 2009
Hi Sandy,
Was really hard going to Billy's funeral. You asked me to sit beside you & told me you still considered me a son. Many years ago, Billy was the only person I could go to in a time of tragedy. He did so many things for me. Many things I will never forget. I truly considered him a second father for so long & for all that he did for me he will always be that to me. I had so many laughs with him in that garage & the hayfields. I was a teen when I first really got to know him & kinda grew up under his wing. You have my number. If you ever need to call, don't hesitate anytime of day or night! My email is [email protected]. For all he did & for who he was, he will always mean the world to me!
VONDA TUCKER
December 15, 2009
SANDY I'M SORRY I COULDN'T BE THERE.IF YOU NEED ME GIVE ME A CALL.
Diana Fitzgerald
December 13, 2009
Sandy,
Mere words can't express how much I thought of you and Billy. I'll miss spending the night with you and him and him going out at 7:00 a.m. and coming back in from work at 10:00 p.m. If you need me, call me and I will be there. I'll be down from time to time to spend some time with you. Love you.
Diana Fitzgerald
December 11, 2009
Sandy - I am so sorry for your loss. I know that both you and Billy meant a world to my sister Diana. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Tim Fitzgerald
Linda Thomas
December 10, 2009
Sandy,
My thoughts and prayers are extended to you and your family.
Loosing someone you love can't be easy, but memories of Billy will last a lifetime.
Thinking of you,
Linda (Fridley) Thomas
Brian Mccaleb
December 10, 2009
Sandy and family,
you are in our thoughts and prayers,
we will all miss billy.
Brian, Curtis, Deloris, and Michael McCaleb
December 9, 2009
Sandy and Family,
Our sympathy for you is great and our memories of Billy are even greater. God Bless you in this time of need and may the Lord guide you through this challenging time. If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask for we're just across the road.
-Mary and Tommy Broughman and Corey Morris
Tina Ford
December 9, 2009
Our deepest sympathies for the great loss you are suffering. You will be in all our thoughts, as we will hold dear the memories of years past.
John, Lewis Jr, Tina and our Families
Kay Day
December 8, 2009
Sandy,
Dr. Luckay and staff are so sorry for the loss of Billy.
May he rest in peace.
Robert Lotts
December 7, 2009
My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.
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